Jenn's Doings

Happy S.A.D Day...

2012-02-14T08:26:00.000-08:00

Actually the world "day" after S.A.D. is redundant.

Happy Single Awareness Day! All you married and dating types, Happy Valentine's Day. May your heart be filled with chocolate cream.

I'm not going to rail against VD this year. I'm done with that. I have more important things to discuss. And taking a page out of my favorite blogger's book, I'm doing a list. She does it...so can I.

1. First thing Saturday - I weighed in. 2 more lbs gone! If you're keeping count at home that's 7 total.

2. Following the weigh in, I hopped in Sparky and headed north to chat with a few gals about the 3 day. A good friend of mine had asked if I'd come up and give them the scoop on the 3day and help get them going. I love talking about the 3day so I was game. I pull up and as I'm walking up to the house, three gals come out of the door. The first gal I looked at quizzically. She looked at me and said, "I know you!" And I was all, "I know you too." Turns out she and I worked at a scrapbooking store back in 2003 and 2004. She was just getting ready to go off to college and I always wondered what happened to her. She was a good kid, responsible and easy to work with. And it looks like she's done pretty good for herself. So YAY for small worlds.

2. Later Saturday I met Blueberry at Mediterranean Kitchen. You can probably still smell the garlic coming out of my pores. Their hummus is some of the best I've ever had, and it will keep any and all vampires away. Wow. Blueberry and I chit chatted there for a bit then walked over to Starbucks for some more girl talk. We were interrupted by this random guy eavesdropping on us, but he seemed harmless and amusing, so we "let" him talk to us.

3. Sunday was Sunday Dinner. We missed January thanks to Snowpocalypse. So we had some making up to do. The usual suspects came. There was laughter, there was food, there was some inappropriate conversations for a dinner party...but what do you expect from this crowd?

I love this photo because it looks like I am wearing a head dress.

Left to Right: BigBro, PhotoGirl, The Yank, Blueberry, Puck, The Pantry Goat, Seattle SIL, Queen PopUp, Mr. Queen PopUp, yours truly.

This is how everyone appears BEFORE dinner.

Then we eat dinner. I tried to say healthy this time so I made BBQ chicken skewers, rice pilaf and grilled veggies. Way better for you than the Cajus Stroganoff I had planned.

You can tell everyone hated it. Almost no left overs for the Pantry Goat. There's only been a couple of dinner where I've had no leftovers. I started planning like a Wraspir for quantities then I subtract 10%. It seems to be working. Well, except for the over abundance of rice I had. Last minute decision and I made WAY too much pilaf.

Weird, but this is always what happens after people eat my food. Its like the food is so good they get a bad case of the crazies!

4. The Grammy's were this weekend. I'm not one to watch award shows. They bore me usually. I wanted to see this time what, if anything, they did for Whitney Houston since she had passed away on Saturday. Turns out the show was pretty entertaining. The Foo Fighters...OMG... I heart them. Dave Grohl can sing to me anytime he wants. Maybe he wants to be my valentine...Ever since I saw a rockumentary on them a year or so ago, I was in love with the band. And let's not forget Adele. I have two words for her: Power. House. My god that woman can sing. What I really like about Adele is she's not your wafe of a person. She's real. She's not model thin and she's beautiful. I like that she owns who she is and is appreciative, or seems to be, of everything that has happened to her over the past year. Way to go Adele. Adele for President.

5. I have no more to say.

On Eating Carrots

2012-02-09T12:05:00.000-08:00

I know you won’t believe me, but as I type I’m eating carrots.

I’m not a carrot fan, or rather I wasn’t a carrot fan. And maybe I’m still not a carrot fan, but I am a ranch fan. And carrots with a ranch chaser…tasty.

Ranch isn’t the best dressing to use when you’re trying to change the way you eat. But I’m not a big fan of other types of dressings either. And let’s face it, a carrot without a dressing on it…blech.

So in an attempt to make my carrots more tasty and avoid the ladles of calories that come with ranch dressing, I made a low-cal version.

Yes, I know I can buy “lite” ranch. And I’ll repeat, Blech! Someone who came up with a low cal ranch dressing that actually tastes like the other would be a millionaire. I’m sure of it.

Back to my adjustments. In the great Northwest you can buy a powdered brand called Uncle Dan’s. Uncle Dan’s was introduced to me by the DadUnit many, many moons ago. We lived in California and couldn’t get Uncle Dan’s. Then every time we visited Washington we’d stock up on Uncle Dan’s. Now mind you this was before the Internet so ordering online wasn’t an option. How different my suitcase would have been? We stuffed packets of ranch in places packets of ranch shouldn’t be stuffed.

The recipe for making this ranch dressing is the same as most: some type of milk and mayo. Uncle Dan’s specifically calls for buttermilk and mayo.

I found at my grocery story low-fat buttermilk (which is only 98 calories). I made my Uncle Dan’s with low-fat buttermilk, low-fat mayo, and a scoop of low-fat sour cream. See I like a thicker ranch for dipping. I also added more ranch packets to the mix. One packet calls for 1c of buttermilk and mayo. I did 1.5 packets to my 2 cups of cream goodness. Adds that extra ranchy-ness. And Yum.

I am not a fan of fat-free mayo. But in a mix like this you can’t even tell.

I couldn’t really figure out how many calories are in this mixture – I mean I could, but I don’t really want to. I checked MyFitnessPal and Hidden Valley Ranch Salad Dressing made with skim milk and light mayo is 46 calories for 2T. So I figured my Uncle Dan’s is likely somewhere near there.

The point is, I’m eating carrots. And choosing carrots, which is even odder for me.

Last night I had a Getting Started Meeting for the 3day. My plan was to, somehow, get in a work out and have dinner before I left for the meeting. I had to also give myself 45 minutes to get to the meeting in rush hour.

I left work a tad early and headed to the gym, kicking and screaming. I did NOT feel like working out. I swear on the drive to the gym I had a skinny Jenn dressed with angle wings on one shoulder telling me to go and a fat Jenn wearing red horns on the other telling me to just skip it. So I compromised. I told myself, I’ll just drive to the gym and see how I feel (see I started bringing my workout clothes with me to work so I didn’t have go home first.). I drove to the gym and parked. I sat in the car for a minute or two trying to get up the energy to just go in. “Just go into the gym,” I told myself. Once in the gym I knew I couldn’t turn around. I changed my clothes and stomped upstairs not at all wanting to work out. Still I climbed on the elliptical and punched in 20 minutes. I figured if I did 15 of it, I’d get a gold star for just being there. I ended up doing 20 and felt good.

I’m not going to say that I was happy with doing 20. I was happy that I managed to get there with ALL the talk of the red devil telling me not to.

I headed home, changed my clothes, and went downstairs. It wasn’t quite dinner time yet, but I was hungry. Normally, I’d grab a bag of chips and sit down with my diet coke and “snack”. This time I opened the fridge and saw the carrots, bright and orange staring at me. I grabbed them and some Uncle Dan’s and we had a snack. My appetizer. Shortly thereafter I decided it was late enough to have dinner and I was off.

A couple things I know to be true now:

I can make the right choice. And making that right choice is WAY easier when you have the right things to choose from. I’m not sure I would have made the same choice if those carrots were sitting next to a bag of chips.
Even on off days, you can still feel good about a lame workout. I went. I did something.
Carrots and ranch are da bomb!

Not Quite What I thought

2012-02-06T08:59:00.000-08:00

So 4 weeks down and 5 lbs. Yes! I find it hard to believe it has been 4 week since I’ve changed my eating and movement lifestyle. That time went fast, almost too fast. Blueberry didn't believe me yesterday when I told her it had been 4 weeks. I had to get the calendar out to prove it.

Last week I hid my scale. It had been sitting unharmed for years in my bathroom right next to the sink. Dusty old thing. Then in January I dusted it off and thought it would help motivate me throughout the week. I mean who doesn’t like weighing themselves first thing in the morning, after pee’ing and with no clothing on? It’s the best you weigh all day. I was only stepping on the little devil on Friday mornings just to give me an idea on how the weigh in would be on Saturday AM. That little action would often set a tone with me, good or bad, for the day. Finally last week I decided I didn’t need that. I would know in my heart if I was doing well or not.

Turns out last week I did well.

I had inadvertantly been sabotaging myself for a couple of weeks. See, I like a lot of viddles on my salads. I had carefully checked all the calorie count and decided I wasn't using full servings and so it wouldn't be that big of a deal. And by the individual salad it really wouldn't, but when I was making these "little" salads twice a day all week, those calories add up.

Last week, I took the salads out of the food rotation altogether and focused on just veggies with my meals. Between that and upping my work outs by 5 more minutes I lost 2.6 lbs. WOOT! (Of course after the weekend I had I may have added some of that back on – sheesh).

The Niece came to stay with me Saturday to spend some quality time with her favorite aunt. I was 4 weeks behind on some photo assignments and thought since it was sunny and warm out that Sparky, The Niece, Puck and I should head to the beach. So we piled into Sparky, put the top down and off we went.

These “assignments” from this photography class is really just inspiration lists. Nothing that was "due" per se. The instructor calls them Treasure Hunts and it’s basically a list of a dozen items to consider photographing. The idea being to get you out of your comfort zone and to try to photograph things you might not normally think to photograph. The Niece was the official list holder. As we walked along Alki she was rattling off items and we’d point and say, “OOOO something fuzzy.” I’d run over and snap a photo of it.

Or she’d yell, “Girl with a funny hat.”

Or “Your feet in the sand”

And then she figured she had to take matters in her own hands and solve the “a heart in your path” item and built this heart with stones. At which time I said, “You have a heart of stone.” And she just rolled her eyes like any young person would at a bad joke from you aunt.

Finally we had shot just about all we could wandering the beach. I hadn't had lunch yet and it was WAY past my feeding time, so we headed up to a local place and had some Mexican food. A dark, scary looking little shack that had pretty darn good food. On the way The Niece says, "A brightly colored popsicle - sort of - its cold at least" and she was pointing at this little gem.

I asked the mom if I could take the little girls photo before I started shooting and while I was shooting this little girl stood staring off in the other direction, intently paying attention on something. She never once looked my way and I snapped about a dozen shots of her.

Sunday The Niece and I were up and out to breakfast at one of my favorite local places, Couzins.

The Niece ordered chocolate chip pancakes and when this plate of sugar was delivered, she just looked down at it and said, "Well, I'd better dig in." She was going to be on some kind of sugar high after that meal. Thankfully she'd be in her car on her way home by the time that high came on and I wouldn't have to deal with the high then crash that would follow. She headed out after breakfast and headed home. It was great to spend time with her and just hang with a young lady who has her life mostly figured out. But I have faith she'll get there and will make the right choices for her and her goals.

Yesterday afternoon was, in case you didn't know, the Superbowl. I was rooting for the Patriots for no other reason than Drew Bledsoe played for them and he was the quarterback during my stint at WSU. That and I'm not a Giants fan...Blueberry and the Pantry Goat came over and we sat and yammered on during the game and was silent during the commercials. Which...were...horrible this year. Man, all that money for a TV ad and that's the best they could come up with? We decided the Doritos commercials were funny as was the VW commercial. Otherwise we figured it was a waste of time. In fact, we only really got interested in the game during the last 4 minutes. That was when the Pantry Goat says, "So how do they get points?"

Epiphany Nuggets

2012-02-01T13:07:00.000-08:00

So far this life style change has been full of what I like to call "epiphany nuggets". These little moments where something finally clicks. Or a moment where you fully understand and are aware of a habit, situation or thought process. Oprah calls them "Ah-Ha" moments. But that's so 1990's.

For years....YEARS... my day has been consumed with thinking about where my next meal was going come from and when it was going to come. I've done some deep soul diving in the past to try to figure out why that is. Its not like I was ever hungry as a child. Sure we didn't have a lot in our family, but I don't remember ever going without food. The MomUnit may have, but us kids never did. Unless if we did, I've blocked that out of my mind.

My life has been about food. The constant badgering about when I'll be eating again. As you can imagine, that has played a significant role in how I've kept my girlish figure all these years. (insert heavy sarcasm.)

When I started this new way of eating, I was naive enough to think that I'd no longer have to think about food every waking minute. That Jenny has it all planned out for me, and that was that. Wash my hands of the subject.

Turns out...I actually think about food WAY more now.

Its not so much about when am I going to eat again but rather, what I'll be eating. The planning that has to go into eating healthy is ridiculous. And I do know that one day it won't feel like such an effort, that it'll just be the new reality, but in the meantime, I think about food all .... the.... time....!

I know many people who struggle with the planning part of eating and preparing to eat healthy. Being a project manager, planning comes easy to me. It's the best part of a project. And I am, afterall, one big project. (Let's hope I can come in on time, under budget, and within scope.) It dawned on me though that not everyone is a planner. So I figured why not run through what I do. Maybe it'll help someone. Maybe it'll just be pointless words on a blog.

It all starts for me on the weekend. The grocery shopping day. I have been weighing in and getting my Jenny food on Saturday. I will not, cannot, go grocery shopping after that. By the time I weigh in I haven't had breakfast and by the time I'm done I'll be hungry. Grocery shopping and hunger are never a good thing.

Once I get home, I sit down with my new menu and start planning. Now for those of you who aren't on Jenny this would be a good time to sit down and actually plan your meals for the week. And while this planning is going on, you make a grocery list. What fruits are you going to buy, and how many. What veggies do I want this week? And how many? Do I need any yogurt this week? And how many?

You get the picture.

Voila. Half the planning is done. You have a menu and a grocery list. Now go shopping.

That's the easy part. The hard part is each day thinking about what your plan is. Again, I'm find myself thinking about food. But in a good way.

I know I'll be eating at 8am, 10am, 11am, 1pm, 3pm, 5pm and 8pm today. The main meals, breakfast, lunch and dinner are taken care of. The in-between meals need thought.

Then as each day comes to a close, I review everything I've eaten all day and make sure it's been posted to myfitnesspal.com to count my calories and exercise. Then its thinking about what tomorrow looks like. I start gathering my meals and snacks for work so that it's all packed and ready to go. Its important for me to do it the night before because I can guarantee you in the morning before coffee, something will be forgotten.

Throughout the day I don't watch the clock. I have reminders set up throughout the day to remind me to eat. Incidentally, I also use those reminders to get up and walk around or go pee. It's a great way to break up your day.

After one meal is done, I think about what my next snack should be. Thankfully, I've surrounded myself with a moat of healthy options. Jenny does provide some of those options, so that makes it a bit easier.

Anyhow, my point is, at the end of the day, I've thought about food ALL day. My plan to not think about food is nothing but a faded memory.

And here's the thing, I wonder, am I like everyone else who eats healthy? Is this the "norm" for healthy eating?

The other new thing that I do that just baffles me that I do it, is I now consider, heavily consider, what the calories are for something I'm about to eat.

Let's say, for example, I've had all my food for today and yet I'm still hungry. I may reach for a 100 calorie snack bar. In the past I'd just eat it, or two or three. Now, I think about what that means. And I think, "Is it worth it?" (and more importantly I question whether I'm hungry or bored). Nine times out of ten I put the bar down. Its weird. And so not like me. I even find myself wanting to find out what the calories are for foods in restaurants. Which, BTW, is sad and scary in and of itself.

thinking about food, constantly will help drive progress. And progress, after all, is what really drives me.

Pansies...

2012-01-31T08:16:00.000-08:00

The MomUnit has a quote in her email signature that says, "Growing old is not for pansies."

I'd like to revise that to read, "Getting a healthier lifestyle is not for pansies."

This becoming healthy thing is hard. The decisions that one must make on a regular basis is hard.

But I've never really backed down from something hard. I mean I laced up my tennis shoes and trained to walk 60 miles for god sakes...I think I can manage to lose a few lbs.

My approach this time around isn't, or hasn't been, about "losing weight". Yes. I want to lose weight. Yes I know that's the major factor here. But its more than that to me. I want to be healthy. I want to live longer. And since it dawned on me in kinda a "dah" moment that I have complete control over living longer (well relatively speaking) - then darn it do something about it.

This journey isn't really a journey. I mean it is, at least for now, but eventually it will just be life. And that, my friends, is what I'm looking forward to. The day when these difficult decisions aren't decisions so much as lifestyle that comes naturally.

It took me years to train myself to eat poorly and not exercise. Albeit that training was easy. This eating healthy, working out, and making good decisions that promote my healthy lifestyle is NOT going to happen over night.

And guess what, some days, I'm going to choose poorly grasshoppa! And that's okay. I'm not interested in the self deprecating talk that all too often happens when people fall off the better eating wagon.

Dining out will most likely ALWAYS be part of my social life. Some times I'll choose the healthy meal, sometimes I'll choose the not so healthy. The key is making up for that bad decision.

I met a group of girls for dinner last night at a local restaurant. I knew I needed a plan if I was going to make the good, healthy choice for myself. I had researched the menu prior to going and determined what on the menu I thought would be "less" fattening and better for me. There were a couple of options I had in my mind before I sat down. I chose to not have alcohol - HARD to do when you're out with the girls. And I chose a meal that wasn't perfect, but it was better than previous choices. But the best part...

I chose to work out afterwards.

Never in my life would I have imagined me driving from a night out with the girls, directly to the gym to do some cardio. I felt great after I finished my 1.7 miles on the elliptical. I know, not earth shattering to most of you, but for me it was huge. I showed myself AGAIN that I can, and I am making the right choices. And that, my friends, is all I can ask of myself right now.

The Road to Hell...

2012-01-30T07:55:00.000-08:00

...is paved with good intentions.

Ahhh yes. Intentions.

My intention this morning was to rise and shine and get my butt to the gym. I'm meeting some girlfriends for dinner after work and won't have time to get there between end of work and beginning of girl awesomeness.

The alarm went off and I immediately jumped out of bed. Went potty and jumped right into the shower. After said shower I hopped right back into bed. 45 minutes later the great "Get-er-up-er-Er" Pookie - thankfully woke me. I rolled over and realized what had happened and just laughed out loud. I can say I did at least GET UP to go work out. Isn't that half the battle?

Tomorrow's another day.

Last Friday I met with a nutritionist at the gym - an hour consultation came as part of my gym membership. She was nice, and not as drill Sergeant-y as other nutritionist I've known. She was very helpful in giving me some tips on snacking better and ideas for snacks. Then she said something that made me gasp and suddenly recognize I need to up my game....a LOT.

1 pound = 3500 calories.

Being the math whiz that I am that means in order to lose 1 measly little pound in a week I need to work out to equal 3500 calories. That's 500 calories a day I need to exercise towards. That's 7 days a week of 500 calories a day. I'm so not doing that. No wonder I'm not losing very much each week.

So my plan is to up my cardio 5 more minutes this week. On Friday I was so pleased with myself that I made it for 25 whole minutes on the elliptical without passing out. You laugh, but I tell you when you've not been doing a darn thing for years - 25 minutes a big step.

And at 25 minutes I burn about 375 calories. A good start, but not enough. So this week we're going to try 30 minutes 5 days. I'd love to say I'll get there 7 days this week, but I'm realistic in that I know I won't. I've still got a social life that I need to take care of.

Oh and the other thing this nutritionist said that made me laugh out loud was to try to have a bowel movement before I weigh in. Apparently some of those can weigh up to 2 lbs. Are you kidding me? I just stared at her like she grew an antler out of her head. Now, I know I play the "how much can I remove from my body to be decent" game before I weigh in. And I try to weigh in wearing the same clothing...but I never EVER thought about dropping a deuce before weighing in. Of course now I will - think about it that is.

Why does it always go back to poop in our family?

Moving on....

On the bright side, I did lose another pound. So if you're keep track at home, that's a whopping 3! I also got measured on Saturday - I guess they'll be doing that every 3 weeks. I lost a half an inch on each the bust, the waist and the abdomen. The hips stayed the same, which was a bit surprising considering the elliptical training. Oh well. I am glad to see the other areas decreased.

My free meals this weekend were mostly good. Well one of them was mostly good, the other wasn't anywhere near good. I think I may start rethinking this "free" meal thing and maybe reduce it to just one instead of two free meals a weekend. Maybe I should make it two free meals for the entire week! My social life does revolve around food - and that's okay with me - it always has and it always will. I love food. There in lies the issue. I just need to learn to love better food. Healthier food.

So today starts a new week. I'm ready. Let's get this party started.

Tell me your secrets, and I'll tell you no lies.

2012-01-26T08:42:00.000-08:00

My journal - sorta. It goes everywhere with me. It holds everything in it. Its just not your standard everyday journal. Oh no. It's much, much more.

On my 11th birthday, I got a diary. I felt grown up. Finally, I was grown up enough to have stories to tell my diary. All my 11 yo secrets. It was light blue, with little yellow stars on it. It had a small lock that I was naive enough to believe would protect my secrets from my older sister or the adults in the house.

Once alone I hid my little diary. I didn't write in it immediately. I thumbed through the pages that smelled of new, exciting secrets that the pages would soon hold.  As I looked at the pages, I wondered just what my teenage future would hold and what I would put down on those white pages, fitting my story on those delicate, little yellow lines. Would I write about only the happy events? Or would I write about just the sad? I was trying to make up rules for my diary, when I finally decided that my diary would have no rules. Anything and everything could be written down. I promised my 11 yo self that I'd write every day and I'd express my true emotions. No lies could be written in the diary.

Page 1: Dear Diary - I would write.

No. That didn't feel right.  I sat back on my bed with my legs crossed underneath me, chewing on the end of the pen, and scratch that out. "That sounds so childish", I thought. Dear.... who then? Me? God? Finally, my first entry was about why I wasn't addressing my thoughts, hopes, dreams, secrets, etc to anyone. It dawned on me at a young age that this book, this treasure trove of thoughts was for no one but me. (Side note: I did eventually start writing Dear Diary because of a Judy Bloom book I read in which the main character did, so I did.)

As I became a teenager, my journal became more about boys. Oh so many boys that I had crushes on. The journal would hold the saddest of stories how all those crushes looked toward other girls. I'd write about what was wrong with me. I wasn't pretty enough. I was too shy. I wasn't skinny enough. I wasn't rich. I wasn't [Enter some popular girl's name here]. I just wasn't what the boys wanted. It was sad. And heartbreaking in so many ways.

But there were the good times too. The time Tommy Bennet asked me to couples skate. And how in the dark with REO Speedwagon belting out a ballad he maneuvered me to the dark corner and kissed me. Oh gosh, how I gushed about that night. Of course the following entries were about some girl in Jr. High who wanted to "kick my ass" because I was seen with her boyfriend. Oh the drama.

I survived Tommy Bennet and the so-called girlfriend who wanted to kick my butt.

As I boarded a plane to boarding school, my journal was about, yet again, leaving everything I knew and loved behind. My life was riddled with leaving friends behind. And to a 17 YO girl that was just disastrous. I knew I was doing the right thing, and was excited for the adventure, but how could I leave everyone behind again. I wrote in my journal about a timeframe I knew all too well. Just how long would it be before my friends back home stopped writing me.

Life at TASIS was full of things to write about. Only one or two boy crushes, but the girl drama was epic. You put teenage girls in a dorm together with a dorm mother who didn't really care and wow, the drama that would unfold. My Junior year was the first time someone who shouldn't have read my journal did. It ended a friendship, which was probably for the best.

Those journals included all my travels, where I went, what we saw, who was with me, how I got my purse stolen in Venice, how my friend Claudia got us out of bind on the Almafi Coast because she spoke Italian, the first time I tried gnooki, traveling in and out of Saudi Arabia, my first time seeing the statue David, experiencing the holocaust at Dachau, and of course dealing with my friends being scattered throughout the world after graduation.

College years journals were much of the same minus the European adventures. Boys, studying, drinking, boys, not studying, drinking, Blueberry, drinking, no money, boys, etc. The college years journals aren't nearly as full of drama as previous journals. In fact, I had only one journal for all 4 years. I just didn't write as much in it as previous periods in my life.

Through the adult years my journal would become somewhat of a "finding one's self" book. Especially the 20's where you spend your entire time trying to figure out who you are, and what you believe in. I wouldn't write entries as much as just thoughts. Epiphanies that would come to me while driving, or sitting in a meeting, or out with friends. Sure there were still the occasional story of meeting a boy, liking a boy and the boy liking Blueberry. But by and large it was about me and what I wanted to be.

Then in 2005 that journal became a blog. And while I don't write all my deep dark secrets in this blog, I do put more out here than some think I should. All those deep dark secrets, the "work in progress" book stays at home. Hidden away from anyone who might find it.

Now I write on the computer.  I hardly actually "write" much anymore, I find actually writing takes too long and the brilliant thoughts are gone by the time I have the first couple of words written. And the hand cramps...yikes. I've started using OneNote for all my writing. In fact, OneNote on my home computer now contains all my photography notes/journaling, all my cooking notes/journaling, all my financial notes/journaling and now all my personal journals. I've discovered I love it. I love sitting down at home, taking 15-20 minutes at night to just decompress and write about what's going on. And more importantly, what's really going on.

Why do I write? Well, why does anyone? For me it gives me a chance to get all those thoughts out of my head and written down. I find I can settle down a lot better at night by getting them out. Turns out they're useful for soul searching too. Once you've written the same thing for 30+ years you can determine that you are, in fact, a procrastinator....for example.

I'm glad I write. I'm glad that I got that first diary way back when. I'm glad I've saved most of them. I'm glad that I can now write and share my stories to the world - whether anyone is reading them or not is another story - one in which I may write about one day.

Happy Chinese New Year

2012-01-23T08:32:00.000-08:00

I hear it's the year of the dragon. That's good. I like dragons. Someone recently asked me what my Chinese sign was. I had no idea. Thankfully we live in a world where the Internet is only a quick click away so I "binged" it ("googled" sounds so much better). Turns out I'm a Monkey. The personality of a Monkey sounds about on especially the words like "charming", and "sparkling wit" and "rapier-sharp mind" (I had to look up "rapier").

The spunky Monkey is the original party animal! Charming and energetic, Monkeys crave fun, activity and stimulation. They truly know how to have a good time and can often be seen swinging from one group of friends to another, attracting a motley crew in the process. Always upbeat, they are considered minor celebrities in their circle thanks to their sparkling wit and that rapier-sharp mind.

The definition continues to say, "The Monkey tends to be rather accident-prone due to a certain lack of very high morals." Wait, what? How does lacking high morals make someone accident-prone - which BTW I'm not. As for my high morals, I'll leave that to the peanut gallery to decide.

It also says, "This Sign may have limited self-control concerning food, alcohol and other pleasurable activities." Boy ain't that true.

The whole personality of the Monkey appears to be one of self-serving, independent, and somewhat of a party animal. I can see many of my personality traits in the Monkey, but like any astrological sign, I don't think it all applies. All the negative stuff in particular doesn't apply. I mean, I am awesome.

Speaking of awesome, I didn't lose any weight this last week. I was home for Snow-pocalypse and on top of that got a nasty cold - which is still with me. Being home means I'm not on a schedule, which makes remembering to eat all the time somewhat difficult. I ate the Jenny food, but didn't eat all the fruits and milk and extra snacky things. You'd think I'd lose because of that. I also didn't work out - still I didn't feel like I was eating any differently. I certainly didn't have other types of food in the house. I guess eating the well-planned, well-portioned menu is important. You'd think I would have lost at least 10 lbs worth of snot. Turns out snot doesn't count apparently.

This week we're starting fresh again. I'm at work, and my plan is all set for today. I've scheduled my meals on the calendar as well as the work out plan for tonight. Can't wait to get this party started.

Snow-Pacolypse is among us

2012-01-19T12:34:00.000-08:00

You'd think that nothing else in the world is happening besides this snow storm in the Pacific Northwest. Our TV channels have been covering the snow 24 hours a day. The same story over and over...

It's snowing. Stay inside. The roads are icy. Here's a dumbass who tried to make it up a hill. And on and on.

It's beautiful, dont' get me wrong, but enough already. I have about 4inches here, which by some standards isn't a lot, but by PNW standards, its plenty or too much in some cases.

I've been working from home for 4 days now. Nursing a cold and watching it snow as I work through SharePoint content and budgets. Good times.

It is truly a winter wonderland outside. Serene in a weird way. Almost too quiet at times. Yesterday it was beautiful seeing the snow fall. Today it's a bit more eery hearing the ice rain hit the window and trees breaking under the weight of the heavy, wet snow.

Puck's never seen snow before. He romped and played in it all day yesterday. He never got cold either. Weird. Below he's resting and checking out how frozen the pond is. He's wondering where all the ducks who usually float on the pond are and is hoping one of the diving ducks didn't get stuck under the ice when it froze over.

Puck's first attempt at checking out the snow didn't go so well. He tried to stand on the railing and promptly slipped off into the drift below. Silly duck.

He did eventually get around to building a snowman. This was day one of the snow, Sunday. Today the snow covered the snowman and now it's nothing but a bump in the pile of snow. Sad.

The weather people say this is supposed to stop now and we're supposed to warm up a little. Hah. I don't see that happening anytime soon. Its been a nice snow week but I'm ready for our normal Seattle winter with all it's grey skies and rain. Rain is good. I can drive in rain. Sparky likes rain.

Speaking of Sparky. When I pulled into the garage on Saturday when the snow really started, I noticed a weird pattern on Sparky's hood. Some family members, who will remain nameless, have suggested I pull Sparky out, put the top down and shoot a photo. "Wouldn't it be fun?", said nameless family member. Ahhh...no. My luck I'd wreck the car just backing out of the garage.

In the meantime while all this snow is falling, I'm going to dream of warmer weather. I'm going to stare at this photo of the day before the snow storm and remember how warm, dry and beautiful it was.

Another one bites the dust...

2012-01-16T19:21:00.000-08:00

This last Saturday was my first weigh in. I was a bit nervous about it because I cheated and stepped on the scale at home on Friday. It didn't look like the needle had moved at all. Frustrating! I had been so good and followed the plan 100% AND I was working out.

Saturday morning I got up, did some cardio at the gym and headed to the weigh in. I decided on the way in that if no weight had been lost, that was okay. It would give me a chance to really look at what I had done all week and find out where I might have misstepped. (Notice I didn't say fail?)

How mature!

How so unlike me.

Once at JC, I took off my coat and my shoes and stepped on the scale. A friend had recommended I not look and only look once a month. Sounds good in theory, but I couldn't stand it. I had to know. Seeing that number go down motivates me.

2 lbs!

The number was 2 lbs less. Immediately "Another one Bites the Dust" popped into my head. Then in the car the song was on the radio. Weird. Must be a sign that it needs to be my theme song this year.

After weighing in, I met a friend for lunch - using up ONE of my free meals for the weekend. The other would be Sunday dinner...which didn't happy, but I'll get to that.

As I was feasting on some phad thai I looked out the window and it was snowing.

SNOWING!

Ick.

I don't like snow. I mean, I like snow in the mountains. Its pretty. Its serene. But it so doesn't belong on the roads. And in Seattle, snow means drivers go crazy. OMG... snow...drive crazy.

Ahhh look. Puck's out enjoying the snow. The pond behind him is now frozen over. Its not like ice skating frozen, but its frozen enough that I saw another duck walk across it today. Puck wants to go ice skating.

This snow is just the start. Apparently the Northwest is about to get hammered by snow. Goody!

I worked from home today, and will likely work from home tomorrow and Wednesday and until that white stuff gets off the road so Sparky can drive on it without squirreling around.

I walked over to the gym today and was surprised how busy it was. The parking lot had quite a few cars in it for a snow day. But it was also a holiday, so I guess that makes sense. Puck went with me to work out too. He was pretty lazy and just hung out on the treadmill and "watched" me sweat.

I almost bit it on my way home. I had over worked myself on Saturday (went back to the gym Saturday evening when I was bored and did some weight lifting...maybe too much weight lifting for the back). So naturally when slipping you try to right yourself and you end up being a contortionist. Tonight its all about cold and warm on the back.

No Pain! No Gain!

2012-01-13T11:58:00.000-08:00

The pain is here. It arrived promptly and loudly this morning. I plan on pushing my way through it though. I'm trying to live the mantra of "No Pain! No Gain!" - within reason, of course. Anyone who knows me knows I whine - a lot - when I'm in pain...so let's not get stupid here.

Yesterday I had a date. A date with a treadmill.

Me and the treadmill spent 30 quality minutes together. We walked hand in hand at a clip of about 3.2mph. Which may not seem like a lot for some of you long legged, fast walkers. But for a short leg meander - er, 3.2 miles for 25 minutes got my heart a pumpin (5 minute cool down made the total 30 minutes).

My plan was to do 10 minutes elliptical, 10 minutes treadmill - twice. I get bored on machines and so if I switch them up I don't get nearly as bored. 20 minutes on ONE machine seems like a lifetime to me. But I can do almost anything for 10 minutes - almost. The Plan B for me was to do 30 minutes on the treadmill - as a project manager I always have a plan B.

When I got to the gym a local high school rowing team was working out. ALL the elliptical were being used by teeny bopper girls and one boy. So I stepped onto the treadmill and started. Waiting. Watching for an opportunity to hop on an elliptical. 15 minutes later the teens departed. I was in the middle of a pretty good song so I figured I'd just finish the song and hop on the elliptical for 15 minutes.

Bad choice.

I didn't realize there were TWO groups of teens. So as one teen left, another group all boys and one girl, came and took over the elliptical. So much for the original plan.

By this time I was 20 minutes into my walking, so I decided to stay. I did spy a Car and Road magazine on the shelf next to me that had a kick ass Mustang on the cover. I hopped off the treadmill quickly and picked up the mag. I can't read and walk at the same time, so I just looked at the pictures.

Before I knew it the timer was going off. Time to slow it down a bit.

I felt GREAT after the walk. I stretched while I was still warm and downed a glass of water.

I know everyone is concerned that I might be hitting the working out too hard. Thank you for your concern, but really I feel good. I do know my limits and I'm keeping my heart rate in the rate zone. If something starts hurting during a work out, I stop. So again, thanks for your concerns, and just know that I'm being careful.

Getting up this morning I was sure I'd be sore. I got shin cramps last night. Holy Moly those things hurt. Time to go buy some more Hanna Montana cream (Arnica Montana is what it's really called). I googled "shin stretches" last night and proceeded to do 30 minutes stretching. It did hurt like the dickens. At one point the shin would cramp, I'd start stretching that and the calf would cramp. Ick.

Tonight I'm going to try my 10 elliptical and 10 treadmill again. Tomorrow's a weigh in. I stepped on the scale this morning out of curiosity and did not like what I saw. It frustrated me momentarily. First off I have no idea how accurate this 30 year old scale is. And secondly, if no weight is lost this week I can at least know that I've started to create some pretty good habits and I'm okay with that. Though I'm sure I've lost a pound or two. At least. Maybe. Please?

This weekend we're expecting some snow here in the Great Northwest. I am planning a photography outting tomorrow to get caught up on my assignments for the two photography classes I'm currently taking. One assignment is a treasure hunt and I'm so digging the themes:

Your feet in the grass
Sun (yah right)
Clouds
Paint Chips
An adventure
Your morning coffee
a riot of color
a mess
a brightly colored Popsicle (not likely in the winter but we'll see)
laughter
someone you love
someone with a cape (I love this one.)

I doubt I'll get them all, but I'm gonna at least give it the old college try.

Sunday is Sunday dinner and my free day. I'm still going to try to thin down the meal a bit, and it's good for me to know that real food and cooking is in my future.

Happy Friday the 13th everyone.

A Comedy of Errors

2012-01-12T09:07:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I worked out.

I know, for many of you that's not a WOW moment, but for me it was a big moment. Unfortunately, things did not go as planned and it turned into a comedy of errors. At least that's how I'm choosing to view it today.

As I said I worked out yesterday. I got home around 3:45, changed and then battled with myself as to whether I should walk to the gym (it was freakin freezing outside) or drive. The New Jenn won and I walked over. Leaving the house, as I've done a hundred times before, I left through the garage and closed the garage door via the key pad outside.

Did my thing at the gym. Caught my breath and stretched and walked home. I got home and tapped in my code and nothing. No garage movement at all. I tapped it in again and nothing.

Last time this happened I had to just sit and wait so the stupid pad could reset itself and it would work fine. I sat. I waited. I froze. Finally, I tried it again. Nothing. Argh.

I walked across the way and knocked on the neighbors house. They have a thousand kids and I was dreading having to talk to the thousand kids and beg to use their phone. Then it hit me, do I even know Blueberry's cell number?

Mr. Neighbor and his thousand kids let me in - ahh heat - and I used his house phone. Called Blueberry who apparently couldn't hear me through the phone. Tried again. She still couldn't hear me. Finally Mr. Neighbor said, "Use my cell phone." Called Blueberry again, and after her struggling with something on her end, she could hear me.

She was working later than normal and hadn't left work yet. She did agree, with very little begging I might add, to run home, get my key and come help me.

It's important for some of you readers to know the logistics here. Blueberry works in downtown Seattle. She's a bus rider (Yay saving money and gas). And she lives 20 miles north of Seattle. Which means, she has to leave her office, get to the bus stop, wait for the bus, get home (during the busiest time of traffic), get in her car at the park and ride, get to her house (another quarter mile away), rummage through her drawers to find my key, get in her car and drive another 20 miles to my house during rush hour (thankfully going against traffic). I'm tired just typing that out.

So I told Blueberry I'd wait for her at Tully's across the street. It was at least warm and had a bathroom. In hindsight I should have waited at the gym and maybe worked out some more. At the minimum they had TVs and people to watch.

By the time I got to Tully's it was 4:45pm. I sat. I waited. I sat some more. Also keep in mind, I have no phone, no book, no money, no nothing to entertain me. Just me and my bottled water - which I was conserving in case I had to make a night of it on the street.

Finally at 6:30pm Blueberry pulls into Tully's with her Wad-O-Keys.

We head to my place and proceed to try every - single - key on this Wad-O-Key ring. Nothing. None of them work. Argh! We debated at least for 10minutes about what all those keys belong to - why I don't know, but it entertained us a little. Well, it entertained me.

We tried them again. We even looked for a flash light in her car to help us see the door handle, because maybe that would miraculously make one of them work. I walked back over to the garage to see if the key pad would work. Nothing. I did happen to glance up to my living room window and there sat Pookie. Staring at me with a face like, "WTH? I'm hungry here." Too bad he doesn't speak English and can't open doors.

Finally, giving up on the keys, I borrowed Blueberry's phone to call the Landlords. I figured Mr. Landlord was still at work at Hotel CaliforniaSoft which is near me so I hit his "work" number on Blueberry's cell phone.

It rang a couple of times and Mrs. Landlord answered. Huh? Turns out Blueberry's numbers are all weird. It also turns out that Mrs. Landlord was in Redmond and has a garage clicker and she'd be happy to swing by.

Ten minutes later she's swinging by and her clicker isn't work. Great. Now what? Mrs. Landlord says she has a spare key at their condo in Bellevue. So we all head caravan style to their condo. 20 minutes of looking for a key, chit chatting and peeing (what? I had to pee.) Blueberry and I are back on our way.

Mrs. Landlord wasn't 100% sure the keys she handed me were to the house, but Mr. Landlord, whom we called from their place, said he has a set at work. Blue and I decide to save time and swing by Hotel CaliforniaSoft and pick up a set of keys from Mr. Landlord. If none of these keys work, I was going to be calling a lock smith and waiting another 4 hours likely.

We get back to my place and try Mr. Landlord's set of keys - and voila! The door opened.

Incidentally, the other set of keys didn't work. Not sure what those belong to but will give them back to the Landlords for them to figure out.

By this time its 8pm. I'm STARVING as is Blueberry. I offer her a Jenny Craig meal which she turns down saying "no no. They're expensive I don't want to use one of those." Which translates into, "Gross. Are you kidding?" So I heated up some chicken noodle soup for her and a JC meal for me and we sat laughing at how stupid this who event was.

BTW, the garage door does open with my clicker and the inside door opener.

So what did I learn from all this:

Take a spare key and hide it outside somewhere
Give Blueberry a BIG key ring, brightly colored with BIG Letters that says, "Jenn's Key. Do Not. Lose."
Perhaps take a spare key with me to work out.
Blueberry has too many keys where she doesn't know what they belong to. She might be a key hoarder in disguise.
Tully's is boring without money.
The bathrooms at Tully's are clean.
I can make good food decisions even though I'm starving.
Laugh at everything. It may be bad, and frustrating, and annoying, but really, what can you do? Laugh and it'll make it better.

Secure in my insecurities

2012-01-11T10:28:00.000-08:00

I received an email from a friend recently that was her babbling (her words, not mine) about her insecurities. It was an interesting email to me for a couple of reasons. First, I'ver never thought of her as someone with insecurities and second, it got me to thinking about a couple of things that have taken place the past couple of days.

Before I get into it, let me warn you dear readers. I'm feeling overly opened these days and not afraid to write things, or say things out loud, that I might have shied away from previously. I won't apologize if it's too open for some of you (stop reading). All I'll say is my blog is a journal for me. Many personal things I keep out of the blog for good reasons - there still needs to be some mystery. However, this journey I'm on I want to share. My hope is maybe, just maybe, someone else out there reading this blog will get a morsel of advice and change their lives.

In my thirties I remember hearing from a friend of mine who was in her 40's the following phrase: "Once you are in you're 40's you start to accept yourself without question." I remember thinking at the time how ridiculous that was. Women never accept themselves. We're designed to question every wrinkle, every fat cell, every grey hair. Ahhh the shallow mind of a 30 year old.

Now, well into my 40's (is 43 "well" into one's 40's?), I'm starting to think she was right. I've definitely felt more comfortable in my skin the last several years. There were still some insecurity demons that showed up every now and then, but I felt mostly comfortable. Mostly.

Being fat for most of your entire life (I say most because I have photos of a small, petite little blond girl, who the MomUnit says is me) means, often, that you are FULL of insecurities. You have a lack of confidence in so many situations that you often fake it so people don't see the missing confidence. I have had a handle on the "fake it until you make it" attitude for some time. In fact, I'd be willing to bet if you polled my friends most, if not all, would say they thought I was a confident woman. And in many areas of my life I am, just not all.

On Saturday as I sat in the hard, cold chair in the Jenny Craig waiting room I was waiting for the lack of confidence, the shame, the embarrassment emotions to wash over me. I sat. I waited (I was early you see) and the emotions never came. I peeked into my emotional vault to see what was there. Why wasn't I feeling those emotions that I'm so familiar with? It felt different this time. I actually felt *gasp* confident. I wasn't faking it, or was I? I struggled with this for a brief moment. Testing the waters to see if I was, in fact "faking it" or did I actually feel confident sitting there? I glared into my insides to see - testing it over and over again. Each time, confidence existed. I was, to say the least, a bit taken back. "Huh?," I thought, "how odd."

I left the weigh in a little lighter in the pocket book, but with a plan. Well, and some frozen food.

Yesterday I signed up for a gym. Gyms are intimidating to me. They're full of physically svelte people who have eaten right their entire lives. Healthy to the max. At least that's the story I tell myself. Soon after I tell myself that story, I follow it with, "Its no place for you." Get in my car and drive away.

I called and made an appt to get a tour. Ryan would be who my appt was with. I arrived early, shocking I know, and Ryan was ready. I was waiting for the judgmental up and down glare he'd give me. I mean he's working in a gym and he's HOT, surely he's judging me. Ryan introduced himself and we started or tour.

Immediately he asked what brought me in. My lips were ready to form the standard sentence, lie really, to tell him what he wanted to hear. Instead, I spilled the truth. I explained to Ryan what I was doing with JC and why I now felt I needed some exercise.

Again I waited for the judgement. Instead Ryan said to me, " "We all have to start some where. You've made a right choice today." "A" right choice. Not "the" right choice, but "a" right choice.

The tour continued and I asked questions I normally wouldn't ask. As I was waiting for the handsome Ryan to run my credit card I realized that entire time I walked around with my head held high. I felt secure. I felt proud of myself. I felt confident. FELT confident.

I walked home amazed at this new emotion. This new feeling of security. My instinct is to over analyze this and figure out WHY am I feeling secure kicked in immediately. And I will look a bit into it, mostly so I can keep it going. I think I have an idea as to why. I'm happy. Happy with my recent choices. And maybe, just maybe, that happiness is driving this security.

The Day the Carbs died…

2012-01-10T10:00:00.000-08:00

Day one was successful. Not pretty successful, but 100%, whole heartedly successful. Which isn’t surprising at all. The first week, in fact, is usually pretty easy. I’m motivated, I’m on board, I’m following the letter of the law – well sorta – and by that I mean I didn’t give up the sugar and cream in my coffee. And I won’t. So stop asking me to.

Ahem.

Two things happened yesterday:

1. I had an epiphory (if you watch the Office you know that Michael Scott calls epiphanies epiphories)

2. I laughed my ass off, which burns calories, doing Zumba for the first time in my living room.

First the Zumba. I thought myself a relatively coordinated person when it comes to dance. I can pick up the beat and go with it. I have moves. Apparently my “moves” are slow and decrypted and the “moves” in Zumba need to be quick and fast. I was about three steps behind the entire time. My brain would tell my left foot/leg to move and my right foot would move instead. It was pretty comical to say the least. The DVD set I bought came with an instructional series in which they go through all the dance steps and break them down. I did that section first and felt pretty confident I’d be okay. I would be wrong.

OMG…I zigged when I should have zagged. I was sucking in air like a crazy person. I was sweating like a mad man and that was only after about 15 minutes. I had to slow myself down a bit because I discovered, well 1) I couldn’t breathe but more importantly some of the moves make my knees hurt. The name of the move escapes me, but it was something “funk”. Essentially you twist your knee in towards the other knee while doing something with your arms (which I couldn’t tell you what that something was because what my arms were doing at the time wasn’t, I’m sure, what they should have been doing. Turns out they have a mind of their own too. Right, so knees hurt, hips hurt, arms hurt, feet hurt…all in all…I think it was a pretty good work out.

Now to the epiphory.

My ENTIRE life I’ve been told two things:

Eat everything on your plate
Only eat when you’re hungry.

Both, wrong.

I’m sure the “eat everything on your plate” is an ideal that came about in the 50’s after the depression. Don’t waste anything is basically what that’s saying. And to some extent I get it. Unfortunately, it taught me to “eat everything on my plate” even when my stomach was yelling STOP! Thus I over eat.

Now that’s not the only reason I over eat, that’s one of many. Last night as I was trying to finish the 2 cups of vegetables I had to have for the day. I was full. But dammit, the plan says to eat 2 cups, I’m eating 2 cups. And then it hit me. Why? If you’re full, you’re full. Stop eating. Leave the vegetables until maybe later if you’re still hungry you can finish them.

So I left the vegetables. And never went back to them.

I’ve been told my entire life to help you stop eating so much to only eat when you’re hungry. Turns out that’s way off.

Yesterday I found myself eating the entire day. Almost every hour I had something to eat. Breakfast included a JC meal, a fruit, milk, and cottage cheese (blech). I avoided the cottage cheese like the plague, and added another cheese instead (those mini babybel white cheddar snacks are awesome). I’m pretty sure that swapping cottage cheese (I think it’s considered a dairy) with a cheese cheese (which is actually considered a protein) may be wrong, but the calories were the same-ish so I went with it.

I started eating breakfast at 8am.

I finished breakfast at 10 am.

First, I’m not a breakfast person at all. So eating something at 8am is hard for me, and it turns out it helped get me through the day. I don't want to make this blog a "what I ate all day" blog, but I think it's important to show you...since I'm trying to make a point - that I'll eventually get to.

8am – JC cereal
9am – fruit
10am – cheese
Water Water Water
11am is lunch time for me, but I wasn’t quite hungry yet so I waited. I had a bug bash at noon in which pizza was going to be present, so I figured I’d eat my lunch during the bug bash to avoid me wanting the pizza.
11:30 – fruit
12:00 – lunch
12:30 – salad from lunch
Water Water Water – I float
1:00 nothing
2:00 – yogurt
2:30 – fruit
3:00 – the witching hour for me. I usually get hungry at/around 3pm and snack unnecessarily. The hunger at 3 is usually because I didn’t have breakfast, so starved myself until lunch. Over ate at lunch time. Hit the wall at 3pm. Yesterday I was a bit hungry so I drank a big glass of water quickly.
4:00 Zumba hilarity
Water Water Water – I float some more

5:00 dinner – Mesquite chicken, broccoli, baby red potatoes (like 1/4c of them) and 2 cups other vegetable.

Interesting side note - I wasn’t as hungry AFTER exercising as I expected myself to be. So I ate, and as I stated above, did not finish the vegetables.

7:00 – evening snack – JC White Cheddar popcorn (way more interesting than vegetables)

Just look at that schedule. It’s eating all day long. And what I discovered yesterday, which many of you already know I’m sure, is that it’s not about eating when you’re hungry. By then it’s too late. Instead its about slowly feeding yourself all day. Grazing. Little, very small, snacks/meals help get you through. Your body never feels hungry.

I think somewhere in the depths of my brain I knew this. I’m sure some dietician along the way probably told me. Weight Watchers probably told me. Jenny Craig probably told me. All the other diets I’ve tried probably told me. It took yesterday, charting out every morsel for me to go, “AHAH!” Suffice it to say it got very bright here in Redmond.

There’s another trick I’ve discovered that I’ll chat about in another blog…if I remember. In the meantime, I’ll just say that technology is a great thing. Charting and tracking your food online and on your iphone is awesome. Thanks Patron Saint for directing me to MyFitnessPal.com.

Vanquishing a Demon

2012-01-09T08:39:00.000-08:00

Its time. The demon has lived with me for far too long. I’ve fought off this demon many times in the past and have been successful for a short amount of time. I’d give up and give in. Only to face off with the demon again.

Two years ago I let the demon be free. I let it do whatever it wanted, whenever it wanted and did not stop to consider the consequences. I knew that one day the consequences would become more important than the rest. But for the time being I let the demon be free.

Finally, I’m ready to tame the demon. I’m sure I’ll be successful for a while. I always am.

I’m sure I’ll fall off the wagon and let the demon run free.

I’m sure the demon will push me to the edge.

I’ve lived with this demon since the day I was born – it feels like anyhow. Some years I’ve been more successful than others in taming it. But I’ve never felt as ready to tame it as I do at this moment. I’m going to do all that I can to hold on to this feeling of dominance over the demon. It’ll be difficult. It’ll be challenging. And it’ll be worth it.

If you’ve never struggled with weight, it’s not likely you can understand this demon. I remember the first time the MomUnit loaded me up in the car and off we went to Weight Watchers. I think I was in 6^th or 7^th grade. I’m not sure what the MomUnit was hoping to achieve by taking me to WW. I like to think she was helping me understand my relationship with food. I felt, well, hurt. I saw it as “your fat and we need to fix you.” Of course I was a teen girl and well, you know how teen girls are...emotional. Not too surprisingly I wasn’t successful at it. The ParentalUnits did a good job of cooking healthy – mostly. We had well rounded dinners and we always had a salad. It was the other meals that I could control that worked against me. It was the snacks in between the meals that would hurt me. It was the hiding the cookies and candy in my room that would hurt me.

This cycle continued for years. YEARS. I would try new gimmicks. I would try new “diets”. I would try to remove carbs.” I’d try to eat only protein. I’d try to not eat (not ever successful at this one). At the end of the day, I would give in every. Single. Time.

And I may this time.

The larger goal is too daunting to even look at. I know what that number is, and frankly seeing it makes me not want to even try. So my goal is 20 lbs. Just twenty. I’d like to try to lost 20 by the end of March. That’s pretty aggressive, but it’s a goal. That’s 6lbs a month. Which won’t be a problem the first month – mostly because its easy to stay on any new eating lifestyle for a month and the initial weight loss will be water (so they say).

I need to move more. Walking 30minutes a week certainly isn’t exercise. It’s getting fresh air. So I bought a Zumba DVD kit to start. I watched the first 20 minutes last night to get myself familiar with it. I found my feet were ready to move with the beat. This kit is a 4 week kit that starts you out as a beginner and gradually adds more little by little each week. I’ve scheduled (actually on my calendar) the time between 4pm and 5pm for Zumba. I’ll eventually need to join a gym probably because I’ll get bored with this DVD set. For now, it’s the plan.

Self speak needs to change. Just rereading this blog post I can see I’ve already given myself exit strategies. Which is okay – mostly. I’m not delusional enough – yet – to think I will be 100% successful at this all the time. I think the realistic approach is better than trying to go all out and then fail and wonder why. I know I’ll fail at times. And that’s okay. Heck, I may even stop after a month. But I’m going to start really thinking about why I’m doing this. It’s not for vanity reasons – it’s for health reasons. I want to live longer. Watching my father struggle with diabetes makes me NOT want to be like that.

Free days will be part of this journey. I discovered during my last attempt at this, that having a free day once a week really helped me. It was something to work towards. Something that I could look forwards to and know on my free day I can have that pasta. Or that heavier meal, non-diet meal. It feeds the beast and it helps me be ready to get on with it again. Plus, having the free day and exercising…that can’t be nearly as bad as having every day a free day and NOT exercising.

So here I am telling you, my friends and family, that I’m starting on a quest. I’m going to try to vanquish this demon. I know some of you will support me. Some of you will scoff. Some of you may even try to deter me. At the end of the day, I am the one who controls my destiny. And as of this minute, this moment, this first day of vanquishing the demon – I’m feeling pretty good.

Love is in the air….sight and every sound

2012-01-05T13:19:00.000-08:00

OMG. I’m in love.

Fully. 100%. Absolutely. Without hesitation. In love.

I knew it would happen one day, well I mean I hoped it would.

I knew that I’d walk into a room/store/website and be immediately smitten. And that day has come. Finally.

I always thought that love was allusive and not something that ever be a part of my life. Sure my friends and family love me, but they don’t count. Well, I mean they do count, but not like this love.

This love is pure. It’s full of color and grace and glitter!
Yes glitter.

If you're laughing right now you clearly don't understand the relationship between a scrapbooker and glitter. Its messy. Very very messy.

Don't get me wrong, I do love glitter. I just don't like that it stays with me for days, weeks even.

This new love has solved all my glitter issues.

Glitter PENS!

I blame my enabler BeagleBabe. She's responsible for introducing me to my newest and most glittery-est love. But I'm so very glad she did.

These colorfully, glittery, smooth writing pens are what dreams are made of. I can hardly wait to start using them in jest on my scrapbook pages - instead of writing, "I love you glitter pens" and "Mrs. GlitterPens."

I hope the boyfriend doesn't find out about this new love. He may stop making me coffee.

Party Like it's 1999...or 2012...

2012-01-01T10:54:00.000-08:00

Wow. A new year! I love new years. Its like you get to start all over. OVERS! Last year is done, gone, dead to me. I had some very great moments last year, and some not so great. Thankfully, the former out-weighed the latter (I always want to type "ladder" for "latter". Weird..I know.)

So 2012...

Welcome!

Before we get into the serious stuff. Last nights celebration was epic. Well, as epic as one can get in their 40's. The Pantry Goat had decided she wanted to leave about 10:30PM so we had to do out NYE photo before she left. Turns out after this photo was taken, she stayed until after midnight. I think she secretly just wanted to were the big dunce caps I bought.

Happy New Year from Chez Jenn's!

LTR: Mr.&Mrs.Landlords, Blueberry, Pantry Goat, New Guest w/o a nickname...oh, we can call him The Dutchman, and moi! If you look close to my left hand you'll see a little Pink...that's Puck.

So now that a new year is upon us, it's only right we reflect on 2011. As I mentioned it was a good year. In years past I didn't do goal I did themes. Last year I decided to do goals and fore go themes. Made it too complicated to remember year round what my theme was. And all too often, about April, I'd want to change my theme. So goals it was.

Here are my 2011 goals and how I did with them...because I know you care.

1. Financial Freedom! -Turns out being out of debt is fun. And while I still use my credit cards, they are getting paid off monthly. Only remaining debt is Sparky, and well, that's not debt to me.

2. Photography! - I think this blog shows I kept up my end of photographing the life and times of Jenn and Puck. However, I did make myself go out and actually practice my craft. And, in case you remember back to January 2011 I signed up for Project365. As for this morning, that chapter is closed. I went out with the PhotoGods and shot as much as I can. I took a couple photography classes and subsequently practiced what I learned. All in all, I nailed this goal, I think.

3. Travel! - My actual goal was three weekend trips, or mark 3 things off the "bucket list" of things to do and see in the Seattle area. Turns out having 100 days off in the summer, and buying a convertible helps with this goal. Trips included: Bellingham, Victoria, Ellensburg, Ginkgo Petrified Forest ("forest" isn't what I'd call it. I called it the Death March of 2011.), and 4 trips to Tucson.

4. Build relationships! - There's a bunch of old friends I wanted to make a significant effort to reconnect with. Facebook has helped to some degree, but it wasn't quite as much as I had hoped. I did rekindle a relationship or two and made an effort to keep in touch with some very specific friends that I had been neglecting. I could have done more with this one and may have to consider adding it to 2012 goals.

5. Personal Growth! - I didn't mean my physical size, but my mental size. I won't go into too much detail here, but I did discover a few things about me that I specifically and with intention changed. I was also able to identify some behavior issues I needed to fix...and did to some extent, but will continue now that I know what they are.

6. Sunday Dinners! - It goes without saying that I did 12 fantastic Sunday dinners. This moves off the goal list and becomes a tradition.

7. Read 35 books! - I read 57. Notice I didn't say "Read 35 good, deep, thought provoking, books." Of the 57 I think about 4 were photography books, 3 were project management and marketing, one was a financial book, the rest...all just entertaining books.

8. Find a new fundraiser! - Check. Cookbooks were a big success. Not only did I have a blast making them, but we did about $800 in fundraising. At the end of the day, I think we could have done more, and we will. Being a project manager I did a quick little "what-worked-what-didn't" exercise. Bottom line, charge more!

Phew!

Now what's on deck for 2012?

1. Scrapbooking! I'd like to do a couple things here. First, get all caught up again, and make an effort to stay caught up. Second is to stop buying new scrapbook stuff and really use what I have. God knows I could open my own scrapbook store.

2. Photography! Yes this is a constant focus (pardon the pun) of mine. This year, I'm doing Project365 again, and this year I'm doing themes each month. In addition, I want to work on taking photos with a flash, taking candids, and learning Photoshop Elements more.

3. Finances! This year's focus is on saving. And saving big. Maxing out the 401K, and putting at least 3 months of salary in the bank. Finally, once that's done, start investing somewhere.

4. Health! I'm not quite sure what this looks like yet. I know I want to drink more water, take my vitamins more regularly, and start moving more. What all that entails I'm not quite sure. I just know now that I've written it, I can start planning and doing something about making myself a bit more healthy.

5. Write more! I love writing. Some think I'm good at it. Some think I stink at it. I think I'm just average. I have spurts of great writing, and it's those spurts I want to work on. I bought myself a book called 1,000 Prompts. It has, well, 1,000 ideas of things to write about. I want to try to write something besides the blog at least twice a month. I've signed up for a creative writing class, but have to move it because it conflicts with a project management class. It also means I'll be carrying a journal with me everywhere. In down moments I'd like to just open my mind and start putting words on paper.

Five is a good number. Other things for 2012, which aren't really goals is to continue with the Sunday dinners and cooking. Those are tasks to me now not goals!

Here's hoping you all have a fantastic 2012. You are the one who controls whether that happens. Bad things may happen, feel them, recognize them and move on to the good.

The Celebrators!

2011-12-30T15:23:00.000-08:00

I have a great group of friends.

There I said it.

And some family members are included in with that statement...you know who you are...

The Birthday Bash themed "Another FABULOUS year" was a success. The proof is in the photo.

What a bunch of crazy people! And I love them all. Every. Single. One of them.

Those people made me laugh so hard last night I think I almost pee'd my pants.

Those people made so much food, I don't think I'll ever eat again.

Those people opened too many wine bottles. Which may not look like too many to some. But considering there were only a couple of us drinking wine. And might I add, Layered Cake Malbec...OMG so good.

Those people made me drink wine from all those opened wine bottles.

Those people ate all my cupcakes.

The cupcakes were a hit for sure. I'm so glad I bought them instead of trying to make them.

And those people left me a mess to clean up. Thankfully, I like cleaning up after a party...I don't let anyone help clean up.

These people got there late and didn't make the group shot.

So I made them act crazy all by themselves.

These people are some of my most favorite people in all the world. I'm so thankful they know me and I know them. Here's to more years for great friends, birthday bashes, and wine.

Pictured: LTR

Birthday Girl, Queen PopUp, Red, Princess Lori, BigBro, ChickenLady, Pantry Goat, Blueberry, Seattle SIL, The Landlords and they're little guy, and Mr. Queeen PopUp.

Happy Birthday to me!

2011-12-29T09:16:00.000-08:00

As I sit in my office this morning thinking about the closing of my 43rd year (I turn 43 today, but as my oldest brother once told me, you're starting your 44th year actually. Think about that for a moment.) I was, as I always am, washed with emotions about where I am and how I got here.

My life in many ways has been a blurr.

I remember waking up on my 16th birthday - thrilled to be going shopping with Mom - and wondering how my life would unfold. 16! Seemed like the world was at my fingertips just waiting for me to arrive. In my eyes, I was a grown up.

Even at that young age I thought about who I was and who I wanted to be. I knew, instinctively that my life was mine to own. My parents made sure I knew the reality of being able to be anything I wanted, but they enforced that I had to work for it. My 16 year old dreams differ greatly to my dreams of today. I don't often morn those dreams, but embrace them. Oh, the wide eyes of the young who see life through rose colored glasses.

On my 25th birthday, I sat reflecting as well. My life wasn't exactly how I planned it, and I wasn't complaining. Sure, I wanted to make more money. Yes, I definitely wanted to find love. Still, I was healthy and surviving as only a 25 YO could...as Martina McBride says in one of her songs, "Living on dreams and spaghetti O's."

When I was 16 I dreamt I'd be married with 2.5 children, a dog, and a white picket fence. At 25 the kids were questionable, being married wasn't something I wanted until I was older, the dog was then (and still is) something I want in my life, the picket fence...I could do without. My dreams focused on me. My career. My friends. My surroundings. My life.

When I turned 30 I realized that your twenties were all about figuring out who you are, and your thirties were about enjoying that person.

As I entered my 40's I felt very comfortable in my skin. What you see is what you get.

And as I reach 43 today I'm so happy to be me. I'm not a super model. I'm not in love or married or even close. I'm not rich. I'm not unhealthy (mostly). I have it pretty good. I've got friends and family who love me. I've surrounded myself with great people who allow me to be me almost 100% of the time. I'm tickled pink who I am today.

Today I think about what I've learned in life, how my thoughts and ideals have shifted slightly to be those of a *gasp* middle aged woman. How experiences have condensed a few realities into a simple list of 5 truths about life.

1. Life IS too short. I hear people say it all time. I rarely see people live like that believe it. You blink and another decade as whooshed by.

2. Pick your battles. See #1.

3. Love yourself without exception. This is a hard one. If I had a super power granted to me, I'd help young women (and men I suppose) to see the true, unique beauty in themselves. Self-confidence is very attractive.

4. Love your family. You might think they are dysfunctional. You might think they are crazy - and they most likely are - but at the end of the day, they will most likely have your back.

5. Give back. I am a very fortunate person. I'm lucky to have a job, a good income, and health. There are many who do not. Volunteering, and giving back helps you fell better about who you are and who you want to be. It makes the world a happier place, and that's never a bad thing.

I know none of those are life shattering. I know a hundred, thousand people before me figured this out. I know that each year I'll keep learning something new. But by and large, these 5 things ring true year after year. And as I sit on the threshold of beginning my 44th year, I want to be sure that I am living each day, without exception, to the fullest it can be...for that day. Cuz let's face it, some days sitting on the couch is all you want to do. And at 43, I'm okay with that.

Whoose! The sound the last week made as it sped by!

2011-12-27T10:13:00.000-08:00

Holy fast week batman. I knew the holidays were always fast and furious, but my word.

I started my holiday adventure by getting up bright and early on Thursday morning. I had an 8:30 am flight to Tucson and being the ever so early person I am, I wanted to be there 2 hours early. I was figuring that Thursday would be one of the busiest travel days so I'd get a jump on it. I don't mind sitting around an airport for an hour and watching the crazies wonder by.

Tired, and a bit hazy from lack of sleep, I hopped in Sparky and drove to the airport parking. The morning was cold and frosty which made me focus on driving. I was going over the list in my head of what I may have forgotten, as well as making sure I didn't slide off the road so missed that I had voicemail.

I parked Sparky, got into the shuttle and was standing on the platform to go into the airport when I noticed I had three voicemails.

Huh? Who'd be calling me this early?

As I was walking into the almost empty airport (figures) I realized my flight was delayed until 11:30am. Ugh. That means 5 hours to wait (it was 5:30am).

I found the Starbucks - who's line was longer than the line for security - ordered my coffee and set out to find something to do.

Turns out SeaTac had a bunch of entertainers shuffling around the concourse. Elvis was there. He learned how to juggle in his retirement. Puck always wanted to meet The King.

They had carolers roaming the concourse and singing - well - carols.

I chose to upgrade to first class and then proceeded to talk myself into the first class lounge for US Airways (which they share with Continental). I sat myself in a cushy chair, finished my starbucks and settled in for the long wait.

Thankfully, I come prepared to entertain myself in airports. I had two books with me and my journal. I didn't have to worry about being bored. Or so I thought. Turns out that early in the morning, nothing sounds fun to do. So I sat and watched people come and go in the lounge. I had more coffee, a danish and finally started reading my new book on writing. (One of my new years goals is to get better at writing...aren't you lucky?) Notice I said "writing" not "spelling"?

The phone rang again at about 10am. It was US Airways telling me the flight was now delayed until 1pm. Great. Text the MomUnit telling her to not leave until I text her again to let her know I'm sitting on the plane. The plane, apparently, had a malfunctioning computer in one of the engines. They had to have one flown in from Phoenix, install it, test it, start the engine, test it, etc. I much rather they fix it while the plane's on the ground then wait until we're air born...so I didn't mind waiting.

At about 11:30 I wondered out of the first class lounge in search of lunch. Back down to the main concourse and discovered the airport was WAY busier than when I had originally arrived at O'dark thirty. Tons of families with yelling kids now wandered the paths. I knew it was the holiday season.

I found lunch, found my gate and sat and waited with the rest of the very tired travelers of flight 51 headed to Phoenix...someday. Most were not cranky or angry about the delay, but there were a couple who were furious. Too bad really, because things break, things happen. You can choose to be upset about it or you can choose to chill the hell out.

Finally, we boarded. I have never been so thankful for upgrading to first class as I was at that moment. First on, and first off. And first with drinks and snacks. MMMM

The flight was uneventful except for this...

Ah Mt. Rainer - so beautiful.

Landed without incident too. Thankfully. The MomUnit and a good family friend were circling and finally found me. It felt good to finally be there. Christmas could now officially begin.

The Adventures of Puck

2011-12-19T21:59:00.000-08:00

Saucy

2011-12-18T09:32:00.000-08:00

On of my nieces - we'll call her "Little Red Head" (LRH) just bought herself her first car. It brought back some pretty fun memories of the first car I purchased. You'll remember, if you remember any of my blog postings, that the ParentalUnits "bought" (more liked towed home) a 1971 Ford Country Squire station wagon - with wood paneling because driving a station wagon around wasn't embarrassing enough - in high school. I really shouldn't complain, that car got me and my friends around.

But LRH buying her first car, with her own hard earned money reminded me of Saucy.

In in 1989 I was still in college. The summer before college I was working a couple of jobs all in hopes of buying myself my first car. The ParentalUnits weren't sure I needed a car in college, but I was convinced I did. So, they said if I could buy it and maintain it, I could have a car. Thus the two jobs.

I had my idea of what I wanted and like any naive teenager I was sure I was going to buying a super cute, well maintained, fast, sporty car. How wrong I was. After driving many cars, I finally settled on Saucy.

A 1975 Toyota Celica...bumble bee yellow.

Now Saucy was quite a car. Bumble bee yellow, black interior, no dents, no scratches, a 5-speed, and in darn good condition for this little car. I bought her off a WSU grad so she also came with 4 studded snow tires. She was perfect for a college student on a budget.

Saucy also had a nice new tape deck (this was the 80's remember) and it had that new feature that it would skip an entire song when you hit FF and go to the next one...remember that? I remember thinking how cool it was that you didn't have to hold down the FF button and keep "guessing" when the song ended.

She was perfect. She was sporty, speedy - relatively, and just what I needed. So I packed her full in August of 1989 and headed to Pullman.

She did her job and bussed me and my friends all over Pullman and into Moscow Idaho when we felt the need for a "road trip" (all 8 miles from Pullman). We were living the life.

Saucy, like many of my cars, not only had a name, but a mascot. Grimmy.

You all remember the cartoon Mother Goose and Grimm? Well I had a stuffed animal version of Grimm that had suction cups on all 4 paws. Grimm road on the gear shift- very provocatively too I might add. Every time Blueberry would get into the car she'd yell, "GRIMM-EEEEE!" It was her thing.

Anyhow, Grimmy road shot gun on the gear shift, or on the back window depending on his mood. He was yellow, Saucy was yellow, it was a match made in heaven.

Saucy did have her problems though. The summer of 1990 before I sold her (we'll get into that) she had a hole in her muffler. And while I thought she sounded like a hot rod, the ParentalUnits said it had to get fixed.

During the school year though she only had a few issues. She had crack in something in the engine and it cost this college student a LOT of $$ to fix it. Still it was worth it.

Then came January in Pullman. It was the weekend and we had been hit with one helluva snow and ice storm. It was cold like only Pullman can get.The wind was whipping through the Stephenson towers and the roads were all iced over.

Saucy was parked in the parking lot in an end spot that you could see when you came round the corner of Stephenson East.

It was in the morning and I was coming back from the bathroom when I hear from the TV room, "Oooo that yellow car just got hit."

OMG...Saucy.

I ran to the window and watched as this little CR-X backed up after hitting my car.

I no sooner recovered from that, within 5 minutes and another car came around the corner and smacked into Saucy. Clearly I needed to move her.

Down I trudge in freezing temperatures only to discover she wouldn't start. All the way back to the 9th floor, call a friend to come jump start Saucy, and wait for him to get there.

In 30 minutes, Saucy got hit 3 more times.

By the time the friend got there and we moved Saucy she had just one little dent on her. She was made of metal man...woot. All the little cars that hit her, however, didn't fair so well. This little CR-X had some serious front end damage. She looked good with her new battle scar.

Still the end of the school year came and I was gearing up to head to Guadalajara Mexico on an exchange program for the first semester of 1990. I didn't need to keep Saucy around for that time and figured it was time to sell her. I worked with a young man (hah - he was my age at the time) who was in need of a car. He offered me $1000 for her to be paid at the end of the summer.

So August rolled around, I had $1000 in my hands and was handing the keys over to this young man. It was bitter sweet to me. She was such a good car and really did treat me well. To this day when I see a Toyota Celica on the street I yell, "GRIMM-EEEE!"

Monday Sugar Fall

2011-12-12T08:45:00.000-08:00

Sugar fall is most certainly what happened last night. For my December Sunday Dinner I did a cookie exchange. And all the little elves that were invited did a great job brings holiday goodies. But I'll get to that.

This weekend started out with a viewing of Joseph and the Amazing Technocolored Dreamcoat at the Second Story Repertory Theater. A good friend of mine had one of the leads, and so Blueberry and I figured we'd go see her, then go to our Christmas dinner. We stopped giving gifts this year, or maybe it was last year, and decided to just go to a nice dinner instead.

The show was great. Packed theater, great singing, and some fantastic actors. It was a condensed version - which being that I'd never seen it had me a bit confused at times. But like I said, all in all it was a great show and something fun/different to do for the holidays.

After the show we went to a restaurant we hadn't been to for almost 12 years. I had bought a GroupOn for Ristorante Simone's that was once in our backyard when we lived in another part of Redmond a thousand years ago. I remembered the food and the atmosphere being fantastic. We drove to the restaurant only to find that it wasn't at the location I thought it was. A quick look at the address and we realized they had moved into this strip mall - that didn't use to be there - across the street.

The decor was hip and trendy, that host gorgeous. We both figured we'd be happy to have wrapped and under our tree. Since we had $50 to spend we figured we'd do appetizers. We ordered their calamari...OMG so good. They served it with a spicy, very spicy tomato chutney ... and I've gotta say, it was pretty darn tasty.

After we ordered wine, and our entre and proceeded to stuff ourselves silly. No room for dessert. Unless the host was willing...which our luck he was probably taken or gay.

Then it was up early on Sunday to grocery shop for Sunday dinner. I wanted to do a standing rib roast, but just couldn't stomach the cost - even on sale. So I opted for roast beef. Which, I must say, was delicious. I served roast beef, this "low-cal" (yah right) potato casserole, Parmesan broccoli and a mixed salad with vanilla-pear vinaigrette - one of my favorites. I'll post the other recipes later this week.

I had planned for 6 people, so I was all set. An hour in, we were all sitting around chatting when there was a knock at the door. I hollered "Come in." and in walk The Landlords. I was quite confused. I didn't remember I had invited them. So I had a look, I'm sure, of utter confusion. When I asked Mr. Landlord why he was there he gave me the look of, "Really?". I felt quite stupid, but thankful that I'm a Wraspir and so cook for a small army. We had plenty of food, with very little leftovers.

Dessert was a cookie exchange. And as I mentioned everyone got into the fun. We had pin wheel cookies, Hello Dollies, peanut butter balls, ginger snaps, Junior Mint brownies, Walnut cookies, gum drop cookies, and little decorated gingerbread men.

Yum...

I think the sugar greatly affected us. Oh wait, that's just how we are normally. Never mind.

It was another successful Sunday Dinner. And as you can tell in both, Puck joined us as well. He's a big fan of sugar.

Puppy Love

2011-12-07T08:52:00.000-08:00

Most anyone who knows me that I'm a big fan of dogs. I'm a big fan of big dogs mostly, but there are a few little dogs that have managed to wiggle their way into my heart.

A million years ago I worked in a coffee truck at a local dog park. Axl Snacks it was called. The truck sold not only coffee to the dog's people, but organic dog treats for the puppies. The job was from dusk until dawn on the weekends. Which, in the summer in Seattle, means 14+ hour days. It was hard, but fun work. I loved seeing all the dogs and got to a point where I knew the names of most the regular dogs -but couldn't tell you the names of their owners.

The gig paid well and I got to spend many hours outside loving and spoiling other peoples dogs.

This past weekend I took photos of dogs.

Let me back up. The Pantry Goat approached me a couple of months ago about a potential co branding of a fund raiser idea. A local retirement community in which the Pantry Goat's mother lives was wanting to raise $$ for a dog park for their community. PG and her mom thought taking photos of people with their dogs and Santa would be a great fund raiser idea. PG approached me to see if I'd be the photographer. Gladly! She also offered that we'd split the $$ between the dog park and Susan G. Komen fund raising. Another stellar idea. So I said yes.

I gathered Team Wraspir (BigBro, SSIL, and Blueberry) and we all spent a good portion of Saturday taking photos of residents and their dogs. We didn't make millions, but we did make enough to make us want to do it again perhaps in the spring or at other events at the retirement community.

Here are some of my favorite dogs.

Meet Baily. He was the sweetest little Shelty I've ever met. He was wide and reminded me of the footstool in Beauty and the Beast. I wanted to take Baily home.

Meet Pepper. Sweet, timid Pepper. But oh so friendly. She didn't mind at all wearing the antlers.

Meet Cooper. Oh such beautiful eyes Cooper has. Like Pepper, Cooper sat patiently and let us put antlers on him.

Meet Rusty. Another sweet, sweet dog who didn't mind at all wearing Santa's hat.

I discovered this past weekend that I really like taking photos of dogs. Having Blueberry and BigBro as assistants was critical too. BigBro was the Dog Whisperer. He was able to get their attention with the myriad of noises he can make with his mouth. Most useful noise, his duck call. Who knew. Meanwhile Blueberry had an eye for composition. She was good at placing people and their dogs together. She saw things I was missing and visa versa. It really helped having 3 of us working the pooches. I won't even tell you how many out of focus, pooches walking half way off the set, type photos I have. Let's just say I'm thankful for digital.

Following a very exciting Saturday, I put together my new scrapbook room. Well, the room isn't new. And scrapbooking certainly isn't new, but the desk and its components around it are new.

I've been wanting a larger desk to allow me to "spread out" while I work. So I stumbled onto a nice corner desk at Office Depot. It was a bit more than I wanted to spend so I passed on it. Then last week I went into Office Depot for something else and noticed the desk was 40% off. SOLD! And I talked the clerk into giving me free delivery. Win!

The desk was delivered last Friday and I spent Sunday assembling it. Blueberry came over to scrapbook and "help" and thank god she was there. I was having issues, let's just say. Though I only unscrewed and redid about 4 things. Not bad considering the IKEA-esque directions they provided. I really should scan them and show them to you because - while I consider myself a smart person - I NEVER would have figured out what Blueberry figured out.

The room looks great. I have some ideas for the wall behind all the scrapbook stuff. Seeing it all together like that makes me cringe a little - that's a lot of stuff. I really wish I would have taken a photo of the before and the den with all the stuff sitting, waiting, to be put away. Holy Scrapbook Convention Batman. I could totally run my own convention.

Desiderata

2011-12-05T19:35:00.000-08:00

I was reminded of this today and thought I'd share.

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Come Sail Away...Come Saily Away....Come Sail away with me...

2011-11-29T10:11:00.000-08:00

Its officially.

I just put $$ down for another cruise.

This time, the MomUnit and Family friends who cruise with the ParentalUnits all the time and I are going to Eastern Canada and Quebec City.

Next October the MomUnit and I will be flying to NY and heading from there. It's a 10 day round trip cruise that hits Halifax, Quebec City (for almost two days), Corner Brook and Sydney.

I know nothing about these locations and can barely spell Halifax. Thankfully I have a year to figure out what they are and what I'll want to do in each one - or just get off the boat and wonder around - which is always fun.

The MomUnit and I also booked our condo in San Diego for next year. Seattle SIL has decided to walk the San Diego 3day and so I figured I might as well go down and Stalk in SD. I've not been to SD for YEARS...so it'll be fun.

So in October next year, we'll be in Canada for 10 days. And the in November we'll be in San Diego for 7 days. I'd better start saving for not working for a half of a month.

In the course of two days, the MomUnit has used my credit/debit card twice. I think she's enjoying spending my $$. My how the roles have reversed.

Turkey day, Apply Cup and decorating

2011-11-28T21:42:00.000-08:00

I know. I know. You've been waiting with baited turkey breath for me to post about my long 4 day weekend. I'm sorry it wasn't sooner, I just didn't feel the blogging mojo. I'm shocked and stunned at a few folks I know who blog daily. And yet they find interesting things to talk about daily. Some would argue I could go a year without anything interesting to discuss. But I digress...turkey day was interesting. Dammit!

I started my prep the night before and made the dressing and the broccoli casserole. I figured I might as well get a jump on the day. I'm glad I did too, it left me unlimited amount of time on Turkey day morning to watch the Macy's parade. I got bored quickly though and then started to work on the turkey.

Meet Turkey the Hun. This 20 pound bird has fought its last battle. I only had 6 people eating, including myself, and 20 lbs was MORE than enough. I wanted to make sure the Pantry Goat had some leftovers. And oh boy did she.

I had decided to cook Turkey the Hun in a bag like I had done for several years in a row. It seemed like the right thing to do. I mean the bird turns out so darn good with little to no effort. I made a mixture of butter, McCormick steak seasoning cayenne and sage for the outside. I slathered that on Turkey the Hun and made sure to get some of it under the skin as well. Taking a lesson from the MomUnit who had called earlier with a warning, I washed my hands before attempting to stuff a 20 lb bird into a bag all by yourself.

Let's just say, it was interesting. Turkey the Hun did not take a dive to the floor, or skitter across the counter. I had it firmly in my grip with one hand and maneuvered the bag underneath him with the other. It seemed to work, but man it was messy. I think most the butter ended up on the bag and me instead of Turkey the Hun.

Into the oven he went. It does look like he barely fit, but I assure you I did a trial run the night before to be sure he would fit. The MomUnit mentioned it to me earlier in the week when I told her the size of the bird I bought. Her first words were, "Will that fit in your oven?" Good question. So we tested it.

I mentioned before several traditions the MomUnit and I have. When we actually cook the dinner together we spend an extraordinary large amount of time laughing at our stupidity and the crazy things that happen during the holidays. Since we weren't with each other this year we called each other... often. With each crazy thing we did we called and laughed and laughed. I love having that relationship with the MomUnit. 1700 miles away and it still felt like we were in the same kitchen.

The MomUnit's issue this holiday was a skunk who had found its way under their house. Naturally the smell made turkey day challenging, but they managed. The DadUnit joked as he left to be taken back to the nursing facility that he as glad he didn't have to sleep there that night. Still a sense of humor.

After Turkey the Hun was in the oven, I got to making the clam dip. The MomUnit and I make it every holiday and usually "test" half of it before we serve it. We're very mindful hosts who care that their guests get only the best.

My clam dip this year had a small difference to it. I added soy sauce as well as Worcestershire sauce. It doesn't call for soy, but since my soy and W sauce are in the same looking squeeze bottles I grabbed the soy accidentally when adjusting the seasoning. It turned out just fine, but it amused me - and so I called the MomUnit.

My guest started to arrive after 2pm and slowly but surely Turkey the Hun was ready. I pulled him out and put the dressing, broccoli salad and rolls in the oven. 15 minutes later I was confused as to why the casseroles weren't heated. I had forgotten I had turned off the oven. So we had to wait a bit more, which was fine since Turkey the Hun had to sit for 30 minutes or more.

Finally we're ready.

In Chez Jenn tradition we took group photos. Left to right: Seattle SIL, Puck, BigBro, Pantry Goat, Pantry Goat's Mom, T, and me.

Serious discussion broke out about leftovers and all going to the Pantry Goat. As you can see there were some unhappy people. Okay, not really. We just took a goofy shot.

I saved the wish bone this year. I figured it was a rough year for a lot of people. Maybe I could make a wish and make it mostly get better. The wish bone is still sitting on my window sill waiting for someone to break it with me. Until then I wish that you all had a perfect turkey day and were stuffed beyond belief.

Sticking with traditions, the following day I decorated. I love decorating for Christmas. The tree goes up, all the snow men come out, and the house feels warm and alive with the holiday spirit. I had help this year. River the Newfy was staying the night and she "helped" decorate by tasting every single ornament that came out of the box.

She's so darn cute. How do you not just want to hug that face? You can tell she was practicing patience with me. But she was a good sport and a great house guest. Though admittedly Pookie didn't think so highly of River.

Anyhow, the tree got decorated. The LandLords came over to help and to enjoy turkey and noodles for dinner.

Saturday was the 104th Apply Cup. The WSU Cougars versus the UofW Huskies. If the scoring of football was based on penalties, the Cougs would have won. Sadly it doesn't work that way and they lost. Though they didn't get slaughtered, which is good. The LandLords and Blueberry were in attendance to witness the painful defeat. I made nachos with cheese that refused to melt. Despite the name being "Melting cheese" it didn't melt...but that didn't stop us from eating the nachos and a few other yummy appetizers.

So back to work today. It wasn't too bad, in fact went quite fast for a Monday after a holiday. I'm counting down to Christmas and another trip to Tucson. That'll be #4 this year in case you're counting. I will have hit Tucson in every season.

Giving Thanks is upon us

2011-11-23T07:40:00.000-08:00

I could start almost every blog with "Holy Crap time is flying". Because frankly, that's what I feel almost every day. There are a few rare days when things seem to slow down (mostly when I'm bored) but otherwise, time is flipping by like in the movies when the pages of a calendar fly by.

So here we are. The day before Turkey Day. I'm ready. Boy and I ready. I've got all the making of one fine turkey day feast. Why am I so ready?, you ask. Because I'm a project manager you see and because of that, I plan and I plan and I plan. Everything is thought through and organized. I even did a work break down structure for tomorrows event. Sounds crazy maybe, but anyone who cooks does a work break down structure, they just don't call it that.

Thanksgiving day cooking is not hard for me. I've been doing with the MomUnit for as long as I can remember. Our Thanksgivings always ranged from 25+ people to just a few. Seems like we cooked the same amount of food for both. WE are Wraspir's after all, and as such we MUST cook for small armies at all times. It's in the bylaws. Look it up!

The MomUnit and I have a few traditions. I'll be taking photographs tomorrow of some of those. In fact, I want to really photography tomorrow. One of my goals was to do a better job at photographing family events...well, its November, I'd better get on that goal.

So Tony the Turkey is thawed - mostly. I'll pull him out tonight to let him sit and thaw some more. I think his innards are still frozen. The ingredients for the other items tomorrow are all lined up and ready to be used. Cheese Whiz is among them. OMG, there is nothing natural about Cheese Whiz. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's from another planet. But it must be used in the broccoli casserole. I'm just glad I could find it. A couple of years ago I couldn't find it at all and there were going to be issues. Alas, it was found and all was well.

I did a trial run in setting the table last night. I know, laugh if you must at my insanity. It's okay. I'll wait until you're done.

Done yet?

So as I was saying, I did a trial run for setting the table. I'll have 6 eater tomorrow and I wanted to make sure there was enough room for all the trimmings, all the utensils, all the wine glasses, all the plates, all the everything on the table. Turns our there's not as much room as there should be. My plan is to bring a card table into the dining room and put the food on it instead of all of it on the table. I was going to do a buffet and have people sit at the table, but figured this would work out better.

Also, I pulled out Grandma Miller's china last night. This china hasn't seen the light of day for a couple of years and I figured why not bring it out for a special occasion.

See ... its a beautiful pattern. Old pattern. I was curious many moons ago about replacing or adding to the set and looked up the pattern. Let's just say in this lifetime I won't be able to afford any of the additions to this set or even a dessert plate...ever.

I had a table cloth I was going to use, but it looked funny with the dishes. I decided I didn't need no stinkin' tablecloth.

See. Not enough room for all the dishes, and all the potential food dishes. I put the serving platter and bowl on the table as a reference. As I say this I realize I am a little neurotic, but in a good way.

We're all set. I'm ready to get up and get the process going tomorrow. The MomUnit and I will surely be on the phone a number of times laughing at something stupid that happened while we were preparing dinner. Hope my dressing turns out okay ... the MomUnit and I usually eat half of it "tasting" it before dinner.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Be thankful, give thanks, and receive thanks.

Holy Fast Moving Weekend Batman

2011-11-21T08:33:00.000-08:00

Is it just me? OR are the weekends getting shorter?

I decided to take this weekend off and re-group a little. I wanted to check my goals for 2011 and start really thinking about goals for 2012 - and more importantly putting together a plan to achieve them. See all too often I think people forget that part. Its one thing to have a goal - like say lose weight - its another to actually figure out how you're going to get there, what you need to succeed and what are your little goals along the way. (Don't worry lose weight is a constant goal...one which I haven't figured out yet.)

So, looking at my goals for 2011 I did pretty well. Some don't even apply anymore - like find a job after the 100 day break. When I wrote that goal I had no idea I'd be asked back to this job. Therefore I scratched that one off as completed.

Getting all caught up on scrapbooking. While this goal was achieved for 3.5 weeks, I think it's safe to say I need to be more specific in this goal. For example, maybe my goal is to not let new photos sit longer than a month or two before having them scrapbooked. Or be caught up every quarter. Of course it's a hard goal to keep when you don't know some of the constraints you may have like - how many trips/photos you may have or IF you'll have the time or the worse constraint every...creative block.

Out of debt! I'm proud to say I got out of debt (minus the car), stayed out of debt for a very good chuck of time. Then spilled tea into my camera and got back into debt briefly. I'm happy to say, made my last payment to that and am now out of debt again (minus the car). My financial plan for the next year is to max out my 401K (because I have one now) and start purchasing some Roth IRAs or something of the sort. All the while, I plan on saving $$ to buy the place I'm in for my birthday next year - maybe. That last one is a bit scary to me.

Take lots of photos. Admittedly not a good goal. It doesn't allow me anything to grow with. To just "take lots of photos" check. Done. But I think what I was thinking is "work on your photography skills." Which is a better goal, but still not quite the depth I think I need. This next year I'm going to focus (pardon the pun) on very specific parts of photography. Fellow PhotoGod - The Yank - has mentioned flash work for some of our outtings. I have this great flash and no idea what it does or how to really use it. Why not learn it? Composition ... that's another place I'd like to really work on and start to hone in my skills on thinking about how to compose a shot.

Reach out to those you've missed. I have a list of friends I've been meaning to reach out to and get back in touch with on a regular basis. I didn't do so well with this one. There's only a couple off the list I actually succeed with. And when looking at why that was, I realized that I'm only half the equation. A good friend said to me recently, "The phone lines go both ways." So while I may have made an effort, I'm not going to feel like I failed at this one because those few others didn't get back to me. At a certain point, you've got to let go.

Great segway ... letting go. This one is hard to quantify and even harder to talk about. And someday it may be a blog in and of itself. But the idea with this one is to let go of all the little, insignificant things that bog you down. Whether it be my own judgement of something, or drama in a relationship, or even something as large as letting go a grudge or two. If I've learn nothing in the past year it's that life it too short to let little things fester and eat away at you. I see it every day in friends, family, people I know... they really let small things bog them down. Trying to recognize the small things, and then let them be is often challenging. But once accomplished it's liberating.

So next year...next year I'm not 100% sure of my goals. I have a few ideas peculating, but nothing seems to be really determined. Some of last years will carry over to this year...they always do, but I'll define them more.

I've been asked recently about how I do my goals. Each person is different. Some don't have to actually write them down. They're just driven to accomplish them. Some, like me, need a lot more help. Plus I'm a project manager so I have to document and plan. But I start with this concept and twist and turn it to make it work for me.

It is bad luck to fall out of a thirteenth story window on Friday. ~ American Proverb

2011-11-18T10:15:00.000-08:00

So to review. I'm going to follow a very wise blogger for today's blog...a list. She won't mind that I'm borrowing her idea. I mean my list will be drastically different from her list.

1. Its Friday. I've decided to take this weekend off from almost everything. I need to regroup and start to think about this year's goals and what I want for next years. I know some people think that's odd that a person actually has to plan it, but for me, it works the best. I am, after all, a project manager at heart and so a plan, a schedule, and a revised plan is how my brain works. It'll be interesting to review the 2011 goals and see if I even completed any of them. Especially considering at this very moment I can't even remember my 2011 goals. Maybe one of my 2012 goals is to work on my memory.

2. Turkey day is around the corner. This weekend sometime I need to do my grocery shopping. I LOVE, love LOVE to cook Thanksgiving dinner. Its easy and its stocked full of traditions for me. The MomUnit and I will likely be on the phone all day checking in on each other to make sure we're on time. I'm going to try to take some good photos this year of the "process" and of course of the guests. The Pantry Goat, Mom Pantry Goat, friend of the Pantry Goad, BigBro and Seattle SIL are all coming to dinner. Oh and maybe Millie the dog.

3. Did my good Aunt thing this week. Hookcd my niece up with Meg-A-Roonie who's an HR rep to discuss interviewing, resumes, job hunting stuff. It sounded like it went well as the niece seemed a bit more focused after chatting with Meg-A-Roonie. Good deed for the week...check.

4. Renouncing diet coke. So I've drawn WAY back on the intake of diet coke or anything diet soda-esque. The aspartame apparently was causing my feet to ache more than they usually do. I've gone almost 6 weeks without my daily diet coke intake - usually 2 cans. My feet feel good. They still have some ache to them, but not nearly as much as they did. AND my legs at night aren't nearly as restless as they used to be. Much to Pookie's happiness.

5. Dog sitting...I'm so excited...River the Newfy is coming for a sleep over Thanksgiving weekend. She's the sweetest dog and I can't wait to spoil her rotten for a day and a night. I can guarantee photos will be forth coming.

I think that's about all I've got right now. Have a good weekend everyone!

November Sunday Dinner

2011-11-16T09:25:00.000-08:00

Wow. Just wow. Sunday dinners are getting more and more interesting. The converstaions that come up during these monthly meals are anything but dull.

This last Sunday the fam attended a funeral service for a dear family friend. It was stoic and beautiful. It shocked me how easily I fell into step with the Lutheran rituals during a service. It's like riding a bike I guess. Once you learn it, you learn it for life.

Jan Jeide will be dearly missed. We "lost" her several years ago when she lost her short term memory and was moved to an assisted living home. She had no recollection of who many of her friends were at some point which is difficult on the living.

Because of the funeral, the subject of death and dying came up at Sunday dinner. It was interesting to witness how couples perceive their death. Each couple had an idea of what they thought was wanted by their spouse. Some have talked about it, others, clearly had not. Which made me laugh at some of the surprised faces of, "What? You want what?" If nothing else, maybe this Sunday dinner started conversations.

Dying has long been something I fear. Not because I'm afraid of the great beyond, but because I'm afraid I will not have accomplished everything in my life, or seen everything, or experienced everything. And what if no one misses me? Hopefully I will die at ripe old age...and by then most my family members close to me will be long gone (which I'll miss them dearly). The realization that I might actually die alone is troubling to me.

Anyhow, back to more interesting and uplifting discussion. What did we have at Sunday dinner?

Chili!

Or is it Chillie?

Or Chilli?

Or chile?

I can never figure out which chilli is chili.

ahem...

Let's start with dessert. It is something, I believe you should start with because you never know if you'll survive to the end of a meal. So why risk it.

New York Style Crumb Cake. (insert trumpets and angels singing)
Despite my best efforts to utterly destroy this cake by forgetting a major ingredient (baking powder) it didn't turn out half bad. It was a bit floury tasting at times, and a bit more dense then I like my cakes. But it was good enough to find it's way into the Jenn Favorites and the "Need to Make Again" list.

The recipe is here if you want to give it a try.

Mmmm Chili bar. I've made Frito Lollies for previous Sunday dinners and I'd prefer to not duplicate meals if I can. I mean I have 1500 recipes, I'm pretty sure I can find something new for Sunday dinner for a couple of years.

It had been a cold and blustery week and so recommendations for chili made their way to my Inbox. Which is good. I like chili. I especially like my chili. My chili bar contained, fritos, crackers, onions, sour cream, cheese and hot sauce. Along side of the chili we had Queen PopUps Famous Cornbread...OMG soo good, as well as a new twist on slaw. I had enough chili left over to have one lunch, one service to Blueberry, and one serving to the Pantry Goat - who wasn't at all happy that I eat chili as a leftover.

I asked for a serious photo first and Seattle SIL took me way too - well - serious. I used my external flash this time so we had better lighting to see all those lovely faces.

Left to Right: Mr. Queen PopUp, Queen PopUp, BigBro, Seattle SIL, The Pantry Goat, Puck, Blueberry, The Yank, PhotoGirl and Moi.

And of course the not so serious photo. You'll not the BigBro and The Pantry Goat are hiding...they "said" they were glaring longingly into each other's eyes...which has become tradition. We'll never know.

Next Sunday dinner will be smack dab in the middle of the holiday hoo-la-la. I've decided to do a cookie exchange. So all you normal attendees to Sunday Dinner...get your holiday cookie or sweets recipes out.

Just who am I?

2011-11-09T08:35:00.000-08:00

It’s curious to me that the older I get the more interested I am with just who I am. I’m not talking family heritage – though that’s interesting – I’m talking about what makes me up. What would people talk about at my funeral? What loves do I have right now? What do I enjoy and why? All these questions and so many more travel through my mind with army boots almost all the time.

Every vacation I’ve ever been on, I feel compelled to do everything I can in that location. I’m not a beach layer. I can’t just sit on a beach for hours and do nothing. I have to be going, doing, seeing, photographing, documenting, etc. This last trip to Victoria got me thinking about this too. Here’s what I figured out.

I don’t want to miss anything! Ever. Sounds ridiculous I know. And I know I’ve missed things. But while I am sitting on a beach sunning my pasty white self I’m constantly thinking about what else I could be seeing. It’s not about being relaxed, because quite frankly, seeing all the sights is relaxing to me.

Then how do you remember all that you’ve done? For me it’s in my photos. I take a lot of photos. I mean… A LOT. And my photos are of everything. Not just the tourist attractions, or the architecture, but of the food we eat, the places we stop for coffee, the train station I waited an hour for the wrong train in, the umbrella I had to buy because I forgot mine, the shoe string that broke and we laughed and laughed about it. So many photos that mean something to mean.

Then I scrapbook them.

I started scrapbooking back in 1998. My Aunt Jean is to blame 100% for this hobby of mine. She brought a family scrapbook for us to see and I was blown away with how cool it was to see those photos. To be able to tell the story about why you took that photo, to explain why the shoe lace was funny (even though it likely isn’t funny to anyone else). I had an answer with how to document my life. I was hooked.

I scrapbook for many reasons and these reasons have changed throughout the years. In the early years it was to document my life so that one day my children would look through my scrapbooks and be wow’d at the life their mom had before kids. Or to show them their family heritage – who their grandparents were and details about them. That need changed when I decided kids weren’t in the cards for me.

So then I struggled with why I scrapbook. It can be an expensive hobby and really, why bother?

I go through phases of not caring anymore and thinking just putting the photos in an album would be just fine. Then I see some cool new paper that would fit a photo perfectly and the vicious circle starts all over again.

I’ve finally given myself permission to scrapbook just because it’s a creative outlet that I need. Where will my scrapbooks end up when I’m dead? I really don’t care…I’ll be dead. Of course, they could bury them with me…. All 28 of them (current count). I could leave them to some unsuspecting niece I suppose. But at the end of the day, my scrapbooks are for me to enjoy now.

I do occasionally pull them out to look through them. Or to try to remember what went on at a certain event. I have a Sunday Dinner scrapbook that gets viewed at almost every Sunday dinner. We all laugh and guffaw over whatever was funny that week. Occasionally I’ll pull out a trip to show someone. And of course, the 3Day scrapbooks go to every Getting Started Meeting to wow potential walkers into actually signing up. (I know my scrapbooks help.)

So no one may care who I was when I’m dead, and no one may want to look through these years of scrapbooks I’ve done (BTW I’ve done all the way through my baby years to current…it’s frightening really). But that’s okay, because I care. I can look through them and smile at the life I’m living. And lucky for you, my next project is to photograph ALL the pages. You can bet your bottom dollar some will show up on this blog.

The MomUnit Celebrates Another Birthday

2011-11-05T12:24:00.000-07:00

You think I'd actually tell you it's her 63rd? DOH...dammit!

Well happy birthday Mom. You don't look a day over 29!

Back in 1947 a little baby girl came home from the hospital. The dog wasn't so sure about this new arrival. But I have on a good authority that the dog came around eventually and the baby girl and the dog were inseparable.

Then sometime later a baby brother came around and the Baby Girl didn't seem that thrilled. She put on a good fake smile, but behind the gritted teeth she was thinking all the attention she well deserved was now lavished on this thing that cried and poo'd all the time. Only later would she and this "thing" grow up to be best buds and recite the Three Stooges together. Even now as the Baby Girl reads this she's make motions with her hands saying, "WOOO OOO OO ".

Like I said, they eventually became friends, but you couldn't tell it from this photo. "MOM, this thing weighs a ton."

The Baby Girl grew up. She had a couple of birthdays.

She learned to fish.

She learned to dance.

Which then turned into "showing off" ...

She was very stylish.

She became an adult.

She eventually got married and had two baby girls of her own. One baby girl was sooo beautiful she had to wear shades.

After some challenges in the first marriage department, she eventually met and married a handsome prince - and she and her Baby Girl became a family with this handsome prince.

She traveled and saw the world with the handsome prince.

And sometimes she took her BEAUTIFUL baby girl with them.

It was frightening how close she and her Baby Girl looked alike.

Almost twins.

Eventually she and the handsome prince retired and traveled some more...

Then the day came when she turned another year older. She's the best Daughter, Wife, Mother, Grandmother, GREAT Grandmother, Aunt, GREAT Aunt and BEST FRIEND that every existed.

So HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM - from one beautiful BABY GIRL to another!

Victoria Day 3 and Day 4

2011-11-03T15:21:00.000-07:00

As our weekend wound down, the last two days we did less it seems. The hotel guy asked us when we left if we did everything we wanted in Victoria and what we did, I thought,"Its probably quicker to tell what we didn't."

So day 3 was Sunday. The Highlight of the day was High Tea at the Empress Hotel. The Empress, as you can undoubtedly see, is an impressive hotel. It's old. It's historic. And it's huge. It was designed by Francis Rattenbury, who coincidentally, is the same guy who designed the Parliament building. The hotel was built in 1904 originally, but has sense had misc wings added or renovated. All shades of dignitaries and celebs stay at the Empress. This dignitary couldn't afford a cupboard in the Empress. Some day maybe...

Empress at night. Ignore the stupid signs on the fence to the left, they were having a field hockey tournament on the main street.

The sun shines brightly on the Empress.

The Empress is probably best known for its classic Victorian afternoon tea service. I wasn't a huge fan of the idea of "tea" and have shunned it many times in the past when Blueberry has recommended it. But being that I'm more mature now, I figured I'd give it a try. And boy was I glad I did.

When we entered the Tea Room you could almost feel the Miss Manners vibe. If ever there was a time to pull out the world famous Wraspir Table Manners it was now. The MomUnit had taught me well.

Our first obstacle was to decide on a tea. Each guest could pick a tea flavor from a list of about 10. Us gals chose two tea types: The Empress Blend (supposedly the best) and one called Kai Lani or something like that - with hints of pineapple and orange.

The server, we'll call him Ray since that was his name. Was so polite and so exact with his manners, that I realized teasing with this guy, or my normal sarcasm would not be welcomed here.

They placed these white chocolate covered strawberries in front of us and almost immediately Seattle SIL asks, "Do we use our fork and knife with these?" I'm sure the right answer is Yes. But our table decided it was okay to use your hands with these little viddles. It'd be tricky to try to cut them with fork and knife.

Next the tea was served. Two pots of very HOT tea. Ray offered each of us individually a lump of sugar and then followed with some milk. We took it all. He poured the tea and left us to ooohhh and ahhh over the tea.

It was so damn good! Apparently the Empress Blend is a "second flush" I think he called it. When the tea leaves are first harvested those tea leave go to make ALL the tea. Then a second batch of leaves begin to grow and before they get very big they are harvested - thus a second flush.

Ray returned with the food. To say there was enough food to feed a small army is an understatement. Queen PopUp had expressed to us earlier to not eat a big breakfast because the food at the tea would be fantastic and a lot of it. I will never doubt her again.

The food consisted of small sandwiches (bottom level: Pork Pate, chicken curry, cucumber/horseradish, egg salad and smoked salmon), then fresh made scones and sweet cream with preserves, and finally dessert (top level: chocolate shells with mousse in them, lemon meringue, shortbread, little cakes with marzipan, and raspberry cheesecake dipped in white chocolate). So, um yah, we ate well.

And as you can tell we did a pretty good job at finishing off the food.

We had to finish the day off with a photo in our crab hats. I mean, what's a high tea without the obligatory photo in crazy crab hats.

(Notice the folks behind us to the right. They'll be important later in the story.)

We finished our tea, hefted ourselves out of our chairs and proceeded to find something new and fun to do that would require some walking off of said food. Seattle SIL and I headed to the Craigdarroch Castle, while Queen PopUp headed to miniature world.

The Craigdarroch (pronounced craig derrick) was built in the 1890's by a wealthy Victoria man named Robert Dunsmier. He died the year before it was completed so never got to live in the castle. His wife and 8 kids, however, did.

It was really hard to get good photos in the castle because it was dark and the flash just didn't do most of it justice. When you walk in you are immediate asked to Look UP. This is what you see.

87 stairs to the top of the castle. Thankfully during the tour you do it floor by floor and work your way up. There was no way I could climb 87 stairs after the lunch we had.

I totally stole this photo from their website, but it really shows all the amazing wood work that was throughout the castle.

The wood throughout the house was spectacular. All the wood panels and etc were shipped from Chicago and were the last items to be installed in the castle.

Inside all the rooms had your standard Victorian stuff. Items of that era. Most of the actual Dunsmier items had been auctioned off in the mid 1950's. The staff that wanted to restore the castle started collecting items for several years to add to the collection. Most, though, of what you see didn't belong to the family.

Still it was beautiful to see all the amazing artifacts. That piano there is a Steinway and was built in 1869. Craigdarroch

The bathroom amused me. There wouldn't be any long sits on that toilet that's for sure.

Craigdarroch, by the way, means "rocky oak place" - you never know when that'll be a Trivial Pursuit question.

You may have seen some of the castle in a few movies too. It was host to Little Women and Cats & Dogs - the two notable ones to me anywho.

Post castle gawking, we met up again with Queen PopUp and then walked around through misc streets of Victoria.

We ate at the BEST ITALIAN RESTAURANT EVER! We stopped at a coffee shop after we met up to rest and get a cuppa Joe. I asked the barista where he'd go to dinner. He asked what I was hungry for and I said Italian. I barely got the word out when he said, "Pagliacci's." Now, the Pagliacci's here in Seattle is a pizza joint, so after confirming it wasn't we were sold.

This little hole in the wall was packed when we finally got there around 7pm. We were seated and were almost literally in the laps of the people around us. I'm still not sure who the wait staff served food here. There wasn't much room to move.

As we were looking through the menu, Queen PopUp leans to a young man to her left and says, "What are you eating?" She and he started chitchatting about the food etc. Turns out these folks were the people who were sitting behind us during High Tea (remember I pointed them out earlier). We started chatting with them and mentioned we were the women who put on the crab hats. They laughed and said they were JUST talking about us. Go figure.

After a very satisfying meal of tortellini and cream sauce, we couldn't not have dessert. Queen PopUp wanted tiramisu, but sadly they didn't have any. Instead the waitress suggested their checker board cake. White and chocolate cake - the white cake dredged in Amaretto and the chocolate dredged in dark rum. OMG...it was so good we just sat in silence taking it in.

Monday we woke, packed our bags and checked out. We had all day before the Clipper ride home so we arranged to have a Victoria City Bus tour. There wasn't anything overly fascinating on the tour, but it was worth it.We got to see a lot of the residential neighborhoods and some other places we hadn't seen.

By the end of the day, we were pooped. We had walked and walked and walked for three days straight. It was time to come home. We hopped on the Clipper and said goodbye to Victoria. I'll be back though. Victoria sent us off with a spectacular sunset.

James Bay - leaving Victoria looking out the back of the Clipper.

Leaving James Bay looking to the side of the Clipper!

Victoria Day Two

2011-11-03T10:25:00.000-07:00

Weird, I published Day One yesterday, and it turned out to be dated today. Oh well. You get a TwoFer today.

Day Two in Victoria shown bright and sunny. We really lucked out with the weather the entire trip - aside from Friday's torrential downpour. Sunshine for Saturday was good since we were heading to the Butchart Gardens.

We doddled in the morning and then found our way to public transportation to get us to the gardens. The tour companies wanted $40 a person to take you out, give you 2 hours, and bring you home. We paid $5 round trip, as many hours as we wanted out at the gardens, AND we got to see more of Victoria via the bus.

What can I say about the gardens, but WOW. Usually people would think gardens not in full bloom would be boring and useless. We figured the gardens at fall just might be spectacular. And we were not disappointed. I took so many photos and can't possibly post them all there. Feel free to see them all on my flickr site though.

Entrance to the gardens...der...Captain Obvious again.

We entered the gardens, rounded a corner and was blessed with this site. The Sunken Gardens. This was just stunning in so many ways. So well maintained. All the fall colors shining bright...it was breathtaking. I thought I had found paradise. Only to discover the Japanese Gardens later...

See those people up top? That's where we stood when I took the photo above. This is looking back from the Sunken Gardens.

The Japanese Maples were just so vibrant and colorful. I must have taken a hundred photos of just those trees. I didn't realize they came in Red, Orange and yellow. In Seattle you mostly see the red and the orange.

One of the several ponds in the Sunken Garden.

I thought she looked cold. Brrr...bring me a coat!

There's this little hill in the middle of the Sunken Garden. We climbed to the top and took some shots, but I really liked the way the staircase twisted around the hill.

Poor Puck. He can't float. It looks like he's had too much to drink...

This gnarled mess of branches intrigued me.

Now we've moved on to the Japanese Garden. I've seen many Japanese Gardens in my day. In fact, just visited one a couple of weeks ago. This garden truly felt what I think paradise would feel like.

The colors! Just so vivid and beautiful. This particular Japanese Maple was so gorgeous. The sun was hitting it just right and casting an orange glow all over the place. Stunning really.

This is the Lucky Boar! Not so lucky for Puck though. The original little pig sits in the market in Florence Italy (I might even have a photo of the original somewhere in my stash at home). For generations, his nose has been affectionately rubbed to bring good luck. Naturally, I rubbed its snout. We'll see if it brings good luck.

Puck enjoying the view of the Italian Gardens. If only he would have turned around ... he would have seen more.

All in all the Butchart Gardens were fantastic. Spectacular! Gorgeous! Sensational! Vivid! and Glorious! I'm so glad we went there when we did and would love to go back in the Spring sometime. I've seen other photos of the gardens in the spring and summer and have been wow'd by their beauty. Maybe a PhotoGods trip to the gardens is in order.

After we finished with the gardens, we hopped back on the city bus and found our way back into Downtown. By now we were somewhat hungry and thought we'd find a nice little restaurant to eat. But before that, we checked out a few stores, and a few other sites in the downtown area.

We were standing on this corner when Seattle SIL said, "I want Irish food." She was staring at this building. So I looked and turns out its an Irish Pub. So in we went.

Its an old historic building too. And thankfully it was also an Irish Pub.

Puck decided on Shepherd's Pie. OMG it was so good. He also decided, after dinner, on Bailey's Irish Cream Crème brûlée! That should never have been ordered. I told my buddies that I'd take this one for the team. That they certainly wouldn't like it. I'd be the food martyr, but they didn't listen. They had to take a bite. Which meant less for the Food Martyr darn it.

All the Victoria photos can be found here.

Victoria Day One...

2011-11-03T08:49:00.000-07:00

My little Victoria get away came and went. Those 4 days were so full of doing stuff, and walking, and laughing, and eating, and eating some more that I can barely remember what all took place. Thankfully I had a journal with me and was lucid enough to write in it every night. I'll not bore you with the account of the $$ spent in each journal entry, but I will bore you with all that we did.

Seattle SIL and Mrs. Braspir (Henceforth to be known as the Queen PopUp - until I forget that I renamed her.) and I took of at the butt crack of dawn and hopped on the Victoria Clipper. (Did you know it's called the Clipper because it "clipped" time off the ferry ride to Victoria? Me neither. Learned something on our voyage.

Let me back up a bit. This trip was the annual Hunting Wives trip. You may recall in past years we went to Leavenworth and San Fran. This year we needed to stay somewhat close to home and so we opted to go to Victoria. As the years have progressed, each of us stand out to own a task. Something we're good at and so it becomes our assignment. For example, Queen PopUp is usually really good at navigating - especially public transportation. I am usually good at cooking. So I opt to bring the snacks for the trip.
You might recall last year I made up these HEFTY Muffalatas for Leavenworth. I bragged about them for days before the trip. Then promptly left them behind.

Turns out I'm not so great on the remembering the snacks. This year I said I'd bring the snacks for the voyage over to Victoria. We were leaving at the butt crack of dawn and I wasn't sure what, if any, decent snacks the Clipper would have. So I bought some mini cinnamon rolls and pistachios to bring along for the ride. And I promptly left them behind. Der.

Anyhow, back to the trip. So we hopped on the Clipper and off we went. Victoria is about 2 hours 45 minutes from Seattle. And it was looking like a gorgeous day leaving Seattle.

By the time we arrived in Victoria the sky had opened up and was down pouring buckets of water. We hopped into a taxi and found our way to our hotel, the James Bay Inn.

Turns out the James Bay in is a historical landmark and apparently on the route for the carriage ghost tours in Victoria.

We stashed our stuff, went and had lunch in the pub downstairs and then headed out. As I mentioned it was pouring. We had to exchange $$ so I figured I'd also run in and buy an umbrella - since I didn't pack one. All the chores done we were off. We wanted to see the Royal British Museum and perhaps a tour of the Parliament building. First stop, Parliament. The rain was coming down so hard that as we turned the corner to past the Parliament building to get the the museum, Queen PopUp said,"I don't care if they're doing a tour right now, we're going in." So we went in.

Their Parliament building is beautiful. I'd give you all the history about it, but that's more boring than my blog. If you wanna read all about it, you can...here. Anyhow, as we squeaked in - all the water on our tenny's and the nicely polished floor - we saw they were starting a tour in 10 minutes. Phew. We sat and dried off a bit.

Its almost the first building you see when you come into the Inner Harbor. Looming over the city with its ancient structure. But I find it a fascinating building. My next trip to Victoria I'm going to walk all around that building and photograph it more.

Once inside I was challenged with low light for photos. Thankfully there wasn't a whole lot to photography - yet I still took about a hundred. This is the dome from the inside. I love dome shots. They seem so third dimensional to me.

We had to shoosh Puck. He was getting a bit loud during the tour, what with all his quacking and all.

Their government structure is different from the US. I know, "Thank you Captain Obvious." It appeared to be based off the UK government, which makes sense since the UK owns Victoria in BRITISH Columbia. Anyhow, what I found amusing about this photo was that they face each other during their debates and discussions. It would make it WAY too easy to throw something across the room.

Then of course you have the building at night. I found it much more interesting at night. All those little light bulbs. We chatted about who was responsible for changing them, and how that person may have to be fired because we found some out. Its just so beautiful to me at night there.

This is looking through the Inner Harbor back to the Parliament building.

After the tour in the Parliament building, we were dry enough to venture out again. So off we went to the Royal British Museum. Now, I've seen a lot of museums in my time...a LOT of them. And frankly I get bored real quickly in museums.

Queen PopUp had been to the museum before and she, along with another friend, had told me it was the museum to end all museums. Needless to say I was skeptical.

Can I just say, "OMG!"? It was by far one of THE best museums I had ever been too.

Entrance into the museum. Boring on the outside, but fun on the inside.

The displays were all so interactive - and what I mean by that is that they were like replicas of big things. It gave you perspective on scenes along with history. I loved it.

When I got home and looked at my photos I couldn't figure out where I had been when I took this one. It looked to me like I was on a beach somewhere and these swans just happened to walk right by me. This is one of the displays there. They had an entire section on water, beach, marine stuff. They even had a little tide pool with a happy volunteer telling you about all the fish, etc in the tide pool.

Though all of it was fascinating. The First Nation exhibit was by far my favorite. I love native art and hearing the history and stories of the Native Americans (They call them the First Nation). The first room you enter appeared to be a show room where we suspected they put on rituals for tourist...none happening during the off season apparently. Then you enter into this room that has about 8 totem poles throughout it. All around the edges were mini rooms with artifacts and stories and history. Just fascinating.

Finally as you work your way through you enter into City Hally. This exhibit is a town they've set up. A town from the early days. There are store fronts all along this main street they've set up. In each store front they have all sorts of artifacts that would have been sold in that store. Then they had a whole area that was set up like a saw mill, an area for gold mining, a pirate ship (which by the way stunk to high heaven. I later found out they actually pump in smells into this exhibit and in the pirate ship they pumped in pine tar as a smell.) This exhibit was sensational. I know I've said that about all the exhibits, but they all were just fantastic. If you're ever in Victoria, take a couple hours and do...this...museum.

We spent the remainder of the day wondering through Victoria. It's a great little city. We stopped at a coffee shop to have a drink and a snack and to rest our little foot-sees...

We asked the barista in this coffee shop if there were any good steak houses around she'd recommend. She thought a moment and then said, "Well there was only one across the street." We asked specifically about a steak house that started with a B because Seattle SIL had been to one in that area that started with a B. The barista said, "Nope. Nothing like that around here."

So we left and stepped out into the sunshine that had come out. Looking DIRECTLY across from the coffee shop there stood the steak house called Barclays. Which is where we had dinner that night.

Later in the weekend we discovered a number of steak houses in that little area, we figured she must not have been from around there.

Tomorrow I'll wow you with a blog entry about Butchart Gardens. It was beautiful. I'll give you a preview so you'll be sure to come back.

Debating the tough stuff

2011-10-27T09:09:00.000-07:00

Let it be known that I like to argue. I like to debate. I may not have all the intellectual power to do it well, but I like to debate. I may, also, repeat what I've heard instead of actually understanding an issue...sometimes, but not always.

Most the time, I read into issue and make my own informed decision. Turns out my informed decision isn't always agreed with. Which is what makes the world go round. If I disagree with you and your views, that's okay. It doesn't mean I don't like you or think you should be thrown in prison. It just means I've created my own opinions based on my own knowledge and research.

Do I always have ALL The information? Nope. Never will.
Will there ALWAYS be pros and cons to issues? You bet.

This time of year is full of campaign promises, and TV commercials debating an issue. I, for one, turn off the TV commercials because I'd rather read the actually issue and make my own decision, then be given my decision by a corporation who paid for the commercial. Still, if some folks are watching those commercials and making a decision, at least they're making a decision. And hopefully at least voting.

Ahhh Voting. What a gift! I've unofficially polled some younger generation types that are in their early twenties and was stunned that many of them aren't even registered to vote. Sad. Very sad. The one's that were registered didn't bother or take the time to vote. Even sadder. It's a right and a privilege to be able to vote. Many people died to give us that right. Will they all vote the way I think they should? Nope, and that's okay. Do I wish they'd all take the time to read each issue on the ballot and make an informed decision? You bet. Am I a dream? Yep.

I don't think voting is always black or white either. I struggle a lot of the time with agreeing with a little from both sides. I'm not always an all or nothing type of gal. I ride that middle line all too well. Am I wrong for doing that? Nope. Does it frustrate some? You bet.

Still debating the issues, local and worldwide issues, is healthy I think. It gives you a chance to really think about what you believe in. I tend to keep my ears open and will listen to the opposing point. I naively assume the opposition is doing the same. Sometimes people just don't want to hear you disagree. And likewise, I don't always want to hear it, but I do. Sometimes the opposition can even sway me with their debate. Offend me or tell me I'm stupid for believing the way I do and your case will be lost with me. My ears will be closed. I was raised that everyone has an opinion. Whether I agree with it or not, I should respect it and respect the person. Respect isn't something this world seems to have a lot of these days.

My point to this yammering...there are a couple.

1. Vote.
2. Be true to your opinions, even when others disagree with you.
3. Be open minded enough to listen, really listen.
4. Did I mention VOTE?

In other none political news, I'm heading to Victoria BC this weekend. I'll be unplugged 100%. Not sure how I feel about this, and am hoping it'll be refreshing. So hold the fort down, be nice to one another, and for God's sake...VOTE!

Wacky Wednesday

2011-10-26T08:38:00.000-07:00

Wednesday is such a great day. It not only starts with a "W" which - so does my last name, but it's the sign that the weekend is in view. And this week I'm only working 4 days - granted they are 10 hour days - but Friday is a day off...woohoo.

I think I've finally hit a rhythm with the job. I finally feel like I now remember what it was I was doing, how to do these tasks, and more importantly how to do them on time. Our team charter has changed significantly since I left for my 100 days of Excellent Vacation. Though my main job hasn't really changed all that much. Different charter, same basic tasks. It was just remembering what those tasks were and how to project manager that I was having difficulty with.

I think the last of the Sicks is leaving ... finally! There's still some gunk in the morning, but usually by evening I'm feeling quite good. I was hoping it would be gone for this weekend's adventure.

What adventure you ask?

This year the "hunting wives" are going to Victoria BC. Its a small group, Seattle SIL and Mrs. Braspir (I really need a new nickname for her) and I. We sail bright and early on Friday morning on the Victoria Clipper (basically a high speed ferry - and I just read a bunch of really negative reviews about the Clipper - so goody!). We'll spend 4 days there and return LATE on Monday night. The great thing about this trip, besides going to Victoria, is I will be completely unplugged for 4 days. No cell phone. No Internet. No nothing. It'll be weird, but it'll be worth it.

The other great thing about this trip is I'll be borrowing a friends MACRO lens for my Canon. It's a bad move on my part because I know I'll want to buy one. It's a relatively inexpensive Canon lens - as compared to other Canon lens - so I'm not too afraid. I'm a big fan of macro photography and I can't wait to try this puppy out. He brought it in today to work so I'll have it tonight when I get home. Look out stuff in my home...I'll be focusing in on the detail.

I'll leave you with my two favorite photos from the PhotoGods outing this weekend. You can see all the photos here if you really want to ooo and ahhh over my photos. I won't mind. Really. Go ahead!

Whoa What A Weekend!

2011-10-24T12:31:00.000-07:00

Since I last wrote I've been fighting The Sicks. I think I have a handle on them now and am winning the battle. I'm at the glorious stage of The Cough. You know that stage, when you feel like you have to cough, and you do, but it's dry and annoying and after a while it starts to actually hurt. I've coughed so hard recently I think I cracked a rib. Argh!

The weekend was a flurry of stuff. I had scheduled several things late last week and into the weekend. Sadly The Sicks made me miss several fun things, and I'm convinced it was for the good.

Saturday Seattle SIL hosted another All Day Scrap to fundraise for 2012 3Day walk. She had a good number of people there again too. I had managed to get my act together earlier in the week and last weekend to "stage" pages so I didn't have to bring my entire room with me. Still it looks like I brought everything by the kitchen sink.

This is what my scrap station normally looks like. There are a few items that aren't always there - the pistachios and the half eaten cookie for example. Though you could fill in that space with any other given snack item.

Other important items always around is the diet coke (or Starbucks. Or Diet Coke in the Starbucks container as shown here.) Always a gaggle of embellishment items. Always a cutter, scissors, adhesive, photos, etc. Puck even made an appearance...if you can find him among the ~~crap~~ stuff.

This is Seattle SIL and Blueberry getting down to business. Its a rare photo of both of them at their table and not meandering chatting up some other scrapper or causing a ruckus in general. Notice how clean and neat their station is. I'm convinced that's a sign of a very unorganized scrapbooker.

This is Amy and Princess Lori. Princess Lori is our "Distractor". When she shows up she has to hob-nob with everyone and see what they're working on and then chat them up a bit more after that. We have to separate her and Blueberry or else they'll get nothing done and complain about it.

Ahh Puck. Resting his weary plastic feathers ... dreaming of the day he'll actually be in a scrapbook.

Sunday the PhotoGods went out and shot photos at Kubota Japanese Garden (They have a horrible website - but the gardens are beautiful). I wasn't feeling really great so I shot very few photos. You can check them all here if you're interested. There are some pretty good ones despite me feeling icky.

I has The Sicks

2011-10-19T08:10:00.000-07:00

Yes my readers I has The Sicks. The fall cold has hit with a vengeance. It started Monday afternoon with a sore - ish throat and I was popping vitamin C hoping to hit it hard and it would go away. Apparently the sicks wanted to vacation in my sinuses. Yipee.

Yesterday, The Sicks started to move. The Sicks moved throughout my body making me feel icky all over. I tried to appease it by feeding it The Sicks Lunch of grilled cheese, but it would have none of that.

Last night, The Sicks moved into the sinuses for a long stay and sent some of it's scouts to my chest area to check out that area. It'll be just a matter of time before the whole crew moves there.

I went to be early and slept well thanks to my "coughing-aching-stuffy head-fever-so-I-rest" medicine. I'm hoping good sleep, lots of water and working from home today will stop The Sicks from getting to out of hand.

It couldn't have worst timing, not that The Sicks ever check with me and my schedule. I've got a busy, BUSY weekend ahead of me and hanging with The Sicks wasn't in the weekend plan.

UPDATE: I went out and got The Sicks Kit. Not sure how Pringles made it in there.

Just another day in paradise

2011-10-18T08:44:00.000-07:00

I think I've come down from my sugar high from the blog entry on caramels. Man those things are good. BigBro suggested I start making them from scratch and he'd gladly be the taste tester. Ahh, so nice to have such a giving BigBro. Sadly, I won't be making them from scratch. They're WAY too much work in my opinion.

In other not so exciting news, I've come down with a fall cold. I'm not a fan of colds, in fact I hate them. They slow me down. They stop me from having the energy necessary to be myself. And I'm a very bad sick person. I whine. A lot. Just ask the MomUnit, she'll tell you. I'm a horrible patient.

I kinda wish there were a pod we could go into when it's time for use to be sick. You'd sit in the pod, closed and sealed, and you'd be sick for 24 hours. Then you'd emerge refreshed and done being sick. Let's say every one's REQUIRED to sit in the pod one a year. Imagine all the savings! Oh and the pod is supplied with all the cold essentials like Kleenex, Nyquil, cough drops, more Kleenex, juice, water, tomato soup, etc. I think it's a brilliant idea.

Why yes, I am on cold medicine. Why do you ask?

I have a busy, busy weekend ahead of me that starts on Thursday night. I don't have time to be sick this week. Next week's fine, this week, notsomuch!

Moving on...

Its fall in Seattle. And fall in Seattle is a a bucket full of color! The trees are all turning to their beautiful golds and oranges. I just love fall. And I especially love when we are treated to a sunny day in the fall. Yesterday was one of those days. Sparky and I went out to get cat food at lunch and we put the top down. It was glorious. A little chill in the air, but with the heater on, you couldn't fill it. It's supposed to be sunny today too, and as of right now the fog is so thick I can't see the parking lot. Ahhh, fall in Seattle.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go blow my nose and take more cold drugs.

Caramels are the devil

2011-10-15T15:41:00.000-07:00

The one thing I really like about this time of year - well besides the fall colors in all the trees - are the caramels that come off the bottom shelf and into a bin that says 2 for $4. (I secretly hate my local grocery store for putting them on sale.)

Each Caramel Season I go through about 4 bags. And I usually save 2 bags for later in the season. This year, I've gone through just one so far, and then Blueberry had to bring 2 bags to Sunday dinner, so those are tormenting me too. Ugh.

Seattle SIL a couple of years ago gave me this fancy martini glass for Halloween. I decided to put it to good use this year and hold those fantastic little caramels. The glass is painted as if a witch flew into the stem and ended up upside down. Very clever. Because I'm pretty sure if you drank a few martinis out of this glass and grabbed your broom, you'd fly as poorly.

I have a couple of recipes that call for caramels. And sometimes I buy an extra bag or two to have on hand to "make" these recipes. Only I never actually make them. Somehow the caramels disappear before the recipe gets made. I think I have caramel gremlins in the house.

Maybe Pookie's eating them.

They look pretty good sitting there all smooth and all. Maybe I'll just have one before I snap another photo. Or two. Or three. Dammit! Now I have to go find some other caramels to put in the martini glass so it doesn't look like I ate any.

See. You can't even tell I had a couple, 20 of them.

Even Pookie's eyeballing them.

Happy Bloggversary!

2011-10-12T09:03:00.000-07:00

I find it amazing that I've been tapping out nonsense on this blog for 6 years now. SIX years. When I started this blog I did so because I lost a bet. I figured I'd write for a couple of months and be done. I certainly didn't think I had enough to say for longer than that.

Turns out I'm full of stuff to say.

That doesn't mean it's all be interesting, or useful, or that every one's always agreed with me. It's been fun though keeping up with writing and exploring what all I can post to a blog.

I have a few faithful followers (besides the MomUnit) and for those folks I'm thankful. I'm increasingly surprised that people actually read the blog, but apparently it interests them somehow. Or they lost a bet and have to read it.

In 6 years I've written almost 1000 posts. I'm at 945 right now. Nine hundred and forty five posts of god only knows what. It made me think about some stats for the blog.

Countless references to pink.
Countless references to Pookie
Countless photos posted
Countless trips you've joined me on
3 cars owned in the time frame (borrowed the exploder, other mustang, Sparky)
3 moves in 6 years
Countless blogs referencing 80s songs or thoughts
Countless posts that made me cry
Countless posts that make me laugh

I cover it all here in Jenn Blogland!

Here's to another 6 years of drivel.

October Sunday Dinner & Annual Pumpkin Carving

2011-10-10T09:08:00.000-07:00

If you weren't at my house last night you missed out. Turned out to be just us girls last night, which I think for the men folk was a good thing. There were some misinterpreted one liners that had most of us blushing.

6 pumpkins gave their lives for our party last night. All of them, I'm sure are happy in their after life. I mean, they do, after all, have a new look.

LTR Pumpkins: Pantry Goat, Mrs. Bras-pir, ChickenLady, Twyla, Blueberry, and me.

The two pumpkins on both ends are the only two that did not follow a template...can you tell? I opted to cut a "knucklehead pumpkin" which is essentially, I discovered, a gourd. And I discovered, they aren't the easiest to cut into. There was some concern amongst the table that I'd slice off a limb trying to get into this beast. Hindsight being what it is, I should have used the chain saw.

The finger sticking out of his mouth is courtesy of ChickenLady. No. No, it's not HER finger, she wasn't sitting close enough to me and my tough gourd. No, instead she gave me a little appetizer spreader that is a finger.

My ~~pumpkin~~ gourd sure is ugly. In my defense, I did have three of the Ruby Red Rocket Cocktails before we started carving. Hmmm, maybe a knife in my hand wasn't such a good idea.

I'm getting ahead of myself here. It was not only pumpkin carving, but October's Sunday Dinner. We had a small crowd which makes my decision what to cook for dinner easier. I opted for Chicken Scaloppini with Wine, Mushroom and Green Olives. The recipe is here in case you want to make it. It turned out quite good last night, which could be I starved us and we would have thought a sweat sock tasted good OR it means it was quite tasty. I'm voting for the latter.

We ate, we drank, we picked up sharp knives and started carving. The poor pumpkins didn't know what hit them.

LTR: ChickenLady, Twyla, Mrs. Bras-pir, Blueberry, and the Pantry Goat - pink hair and all.

Side note: The Pantry Goat decided to where my pink beehive wig all night. At one point of the evening, I pulled out my old Can-Can Girl dress and the Pantry Goat found my Halloween lights. She put them all on.

You can't really tell, but her cleavage is glowing.

Right so back to the carving. This year there were cheaters amongst us. 4 of the 6 of us chose to use templates on their pumpkins. The Pantry Goat and I were the only TRUE carvers in the bunch last night. Still, I'll admit the templated pumpkins looked pretty damn good.

You should see how much pumpkin guts I had all over my kitchen floor after this event. 90% of it was from me and my gourd.

In the end, we had beautiful pumpkins.

We were relatively well behaved.

LTR: Moi (I still have my apron on too - sexy!), The Pantry Goat, ChickenLady, Blueberry, Twyla and Mrs. Bras-pir

Then we had dessert that ChickenLady brought...OMG Pumpkin cake with cream cheese frosting. So darn good. It made us crazy.

Did I mention the Pantry Goat brought a chain saw?

How often do you just sit and think?

2011-10-06T16:23:00.000-07:00

I mean without any interruptions. No cell phone, no TV, no email, no nothing. Can you do it? Can you just sit and think and plan and consider?

I doubt I can. And I’ve tried and failed.

During my 100 day break I wanted to take a significant chunk of my time and really consider my life. My plan. My goals. Was I were I wanted to be? Where do I want to be if not? And how did I get to be 42 years old? I have way too much left to do in my life. And then it dawned on me, I’m losing time every day. And I just don’t feel like I have enough time to do everything I want/need to do. It started stressing me out.

Then I opted to just be. To try to not have a master plan. To just live. Exist. Try to be as zen as possible. To not let the little insignificant things bug me. It was hard, but I managed for a bit. It’s still hard to not let the insignificant things bother me.

But here’s my point – we’re all losing time.

We all seem to have somewhere we need to be – NOW. We’re all in a hurry and I think that somehow, being in a hurry and having to be doing something or going somewhere, we’re losing time.

I lose time every time I check my iPhone when it beeps or bings. I lose time every time a friend or family member checks their phone when it beeps or bings while visiting with me.

I lose time every time I turn on the TV hoping that something will entertain me tonight instead of thinking about my future goals and plans.

I lose time every time I sit in an hour long meeting that could have easily been a 10 minute discussion in the hallway.

I lose time every time I drive out of my way to save 10 cents a gallon on gas without realizing that it’s only really saving me about a buck 50.

Every time I don’t apologize for being stubborn and locking horns in a stalemate, I lose time.

I lose time every time I focus on what I should have done, instead of what I will do.

I lose time every time I stand in front of the mirror and think I’m not pretty enough, or smart enough or good enough. (I read a blog one day about how this is like golf balls. The writer said, “There is not one golf ball in the world that judges itself a failure. Sometimes they land in the hole. Other times, they get lost in the woods. But they are still primarily the same object. The same is true for you.“)

Failure, it turns out, has been huge time suck for me, a great thief of time. I’ve learned over the years that failure is just part of life. In fact have a quote in my scrapbook room that says, “If you’ve not failed, you haven’t lived.” Failing is one thing. Hanging on that failure and reliving it is another.

Now the big question is how do I adapt to save myself time. Do I start by turning my phone to silent? Before cell phones I managed to be connected – on a more personal level – can I do that again? Pick up the *gasp* phone and call someone instead of texting.

At work I don’t have any indications show up of new mail. I adopted, long ago, the practice of checking mail just three times a day: Morning, lunch and before I leave. Perhaps I should use that same practice when it comes to the cell phone. I can be responsive, but not a slave.

Time it seems is the most challenging of currencies to leverage…and I act like it’ll always be available and always be free.

“This doesn’t mean “hurry.” This means “live.” Live in the way that suggests you know what time it is, with or without a watch. Because it’s your time. And that’s what matters while you still breathe. “

And at the end of the day, how can I use my time to add value to people after I’ve stopped breathing? What legacy do I want to leave?

Be brave with your time.

When Pink was just a color

2011-10-04T15:18:00.000-07:00

There's a song I was introduced to recently called "When Pink was just a color." The lyrics are quite powerful and cause me to tear up every time I hear the song.

This morning on the way to work, for whatever reason, I was feeling extremely emotional (and no you can't blame that time of the month with me...I don't have those parts any more). There are two lines that specifically get me going. The song is about a mother with her daughter and family getting ready to run a race for breast cancer. One lyric that gets me EVERY SINGLE TIME is when the daughter says, "Every one's dressed in pink. Look how pretty it is." AGH! It kills me.

The other is when it's talking about her mother being missed, but she's still with her as a picture on her shirt and she runs in memory of....Holy Tear Jerker Batman!

It's probably just me.

Anyhow, I thought I'd put the lyrics here in hope that it makes you stop a moment and think about breast cancer.

Seems like the whole town's here,
Friends and ribbons fill the park,
She knows she's not alone, it makes her smile, and it breaks her heart,
Her daughter is holding her hand, a balloon tied on her wrist,
She says, \"Mommy, every one's dressed in pink, look how pretty it is.\"
And It reminds her, of comin' here,
When she was, just a little girl,
Holding her own mother's hand,
It was an innocent world,

When pink was just a color and ribbons tied back hair,
Every race was just for fun and she ran without a care,
Today is one step closer, to being like back then,
When pink, is just a color again,

Now her daughter's on grandpa's shoulders, waving above the crowd,
She steps up to the starting line, and takes a, long look around,
She sees posters held up high, white candles being lit,
For mothers and daughters, sisters and wives,
That are being missed,
But her mother, is still with her,
As a, picture on her shirt,
And she wipes away, bitter sweet tears,
As she, runs in memory of her,
And of when pink is just a color and
Ribbons tied back hair,
Every race was just for fun and she ran without a care
Today,is one step closer,
To being like back then,
When pink is just a colour again...

When pink is just a color and ribbons tie back hair,
Every race is just for fun, and we run without a care,
Today, is one step closer,
To being like back then,
Every step is one step further,
In this, race we're gunna win,

When pink is just a color again..

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

2011-10-02T09:39:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why I find it amusing that we have just one month for breast cancer awareness. Maybe because I'm aware of it 365 days a year.

I was thinking last night about how to express my thoughts on breast cancer and more importantly where to start. You all know the story of Blueberry and her being the reason I got involved in the first place, so what else could I talk about.

Then I started thinking about whether I could name ONE friend for each day of the month that I know has been touched by the darkness of breast cancer. My internal dialog told me there was no way I could come up with 31 names of people I knew (closely) who have been touched by breast cancer. Then I started counting.

I went through the name of friends in Facebook. I figured those folks are people I interact with on a fairly regular, albeit digitally, basis. And I started counting.

And counting some more.

And of my FB friends I counted 34 people. From there I could count family members of each that had been also touched, but thought I'd just leave it at 34.

Thirty four friends, husbands, sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers cousins, aunts and uncles who have needlessly effected by breast cancer. "I guess that 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed this year" statistic is very true (1 in 7 in the state of Washington BTW).

Last month I read the Nancy Brinker story. Nancy Brinker, for those of you not in the Susan G. Komen world, is the founder of Susan G. Komen. She made a promise to her dying sister that she would do everything she can to find a cure for breast cancer. That was 29 years ago. And while a cure hasn't been found, the money SGK has raised has done wonders in better treatments and better - quicker diagnosis'.

I wanted to share with you some of my favorite quotes of her book.

" I'm skeptical when any scientific voice - be it physician, researcher, or school of thought - makes any sweeping declarations of what is true or untrue, absolutely right or absolutely wrong, in the arena of cancer research or cancer care. I've witnessed the lifesaving value of both chemotherapy and prayer, mastectomy and lumpectomy, allopathic medicine and complementary therapies. The only singular truth about breast cancer is this: There is no singular truth about breast cancer. Or best strategy is to respect and listen to one another, share what we learn, read across the aisle, and make women's lives a higher priority than political agenda. "

When discussing treatments or diagnosis with your doctor: " When you hear hoofbeats, think horses not zebras. To keep the chessboard moving and for the sake of our own sanity, when we hear hoofbeats, we think horses. It's reasonable to think horses. It's comforting to think horses. But it's sadly self-limiting - and occasionally dangerous - to pretend zebras don't exist."

"It took me a few tries in life, but I eventually learned that you can't bully people into believing. You win people over - or you don't. And if you're never willing to be won over, it's a safe bet your supporters won't be open to it either. It's like a saloon door; it's got to swing both ways."

"So many dreams die with a cancer diagnosis. It's the loss of innocence, a shattering of our sens of security. We have to honor those losses and grieve those dreams before we can truly open our eyes anew. It's natural for people to pull away from someone with cancer, simply because they don't know what to say. Or because they're terrified of it. Some need to believe that it's somehow your fault, because then they can believe it'll never happen to them. Or course, knowing that makes it no less isolating. The people who stick - those are your friends. There is a certain luxury in knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt who they are."

The one thing I've learned in the 8 years since Blueberry's diagnosis is that just when you think you've seen all you can see, you've witnessed all the crazy you can, you've laughed as hard as your sides will allow and you've cried as much as you possibly can - you still have some spare emotion to share.

I don't know if we'll find a cure in my lifetime. I can sure hope. What I do know is that my involvement in breast cancer, the raising of money for breast cancer may one day help my friends, their daughters, my nieces, my aunts, mom, (and any men in my life - 3% of men die from breast cancer) have a better chance of early diagnosis, better treatments and a longer life as a survivor of breast cancer. The one statistic that sticks in my mind is since the 70's, 5 year breast cancer survival rate rose from was some where in the area of 80% (frankly I can't remember the exact number) and today it is 98%. (BigBro would know the exact statistic.) Because of that, I'm going to keep fighting. For myself, for my friends, for their daughters, for their mom's, grandmothers, aunts, and loved ones.

Identity Crisis

2011-10-01T19:11:00.000-07:00

Wait...don't go away. Its me. Jenn. I've been having a blog identity crisis of late and I think I've found a new template I like and that speaks to my personality. I hope you like it.

My last blogger template got dumped somehow, so then I had to pick a couple others as temporary before I could find one I liked. I had been using pink-ish layouts and decided last night that I wanted one that was like my desktop. I do, after all, write these from a desktop, I thought it would be a bit more me than pink. I know, what am I saying? Maybe I'm growing up. Not likely, but maybe.

I completed another week of work, though not 40 hours. On Friday I had to run around like a crazy person in the afternoon and try to get my passport renewed. It expired in August of 2010 the day we got back from Alaska and I just didn't renew it. I kept forgetting, then while not working I didn't want to fork over the dough. Now I'll be going to Victoria at the end of the month and guess what, I needed my passport.

I looked into those passport cards / driver's licenses thingys too. Turns out it takes just as long to get one of those as a passport, so I opted to just get the passport. Oh and I got to pay the expedite fees. Oh goody.

Its my own fault really. I procrastinated and now that cost me an extra $60.

I was thinking back to when I got my first passport. It was months before I was to depart to Switzerland to go to boarding school in my junior year of college. The whole idea of a passport was foreign to me. I had no idea what it was really and what it meant to me. I would soon learn that outside the U.S. it becomes vital and extremely important to protect.

I still have that passport and it's full of stamps. Those were exciting days getting new stamps in your passport about every 6 months or so. It has Saudi visas in it too. I hated handing over my passport to get the visas. I was sure they'd lose it and I'd be stuck in their country with no way out.

My second passport wasn't nearly as interesting. I think it go a stamp or two for Canada and Mexico. YAWN!

My last passport at least got a UK stamp, some Mexico stamps and I think a Canada stamp. Still boring. I need work on getting more stamps.

I met someone in line who was roughly my age who had never had a passport. She, in fact, had never really traveled outside of Washington. I sat stunned and sad for her. All the things outside Washington to see. But I realized, not everyone has gypsy blood in them and feels the need to move on all the time.

Speaking of moving on, I have way too many friends moving right now. Funny how I've managed to not help any of them either.

Texas and his family moved back to Texas. I'll miss having lunches with he, his wife and that cute baby of theirs.

Packing Laurie is moving to Palo Alto. Her husband got a job down there and so the whole family is moving. She'll be greatly missed.

Lastly the Pantry Goat is moving into a new house. Thankfully she's still staying in Seattle. If she moved, what would I do with all my leftovers? I'd have to dump them out!

That's about all I've got for now. I've been working on a thought provoking blog post, but it's not quite ready. It still has some thoughts that need to be worked out. They make sense to me, but if I put them out here y'all would be like, "what?"

The Zoo...

2011-09-28T10:37:00.000-07:00

Okay, first things first. I lost my blog template. So welcome to the new template. Some day I'm going to meet someone who can willingly, and freely, design me a blogger template. If that's you, let me know...

In other news, I went to the zoo this past weekend. I haven't been to the zoo for 10 years and it's changed a little. I'm quite impressed with Woodland Park Zoo and how they've laid it out. I found myself conflicted with caging animals for our entertainment, and the realization that these animals have a pretty good life. Food, health care and shelter.

The Zoo was interesting. I was getting ready to ask for my money back because we weren't seeing any animals...and therefore ALL The kids around me seemed to be entering the city limits of Meltdownville. My suggestion was to toss a kid or two into the animal area and THEN we'd see animals. No one thought that was good of an idea as me.

Puck had a great time. He made a ton of new friends.

He felt right at home with them.

Here he is with Baby Hansa - the new - well used to be new baby elephant. I think Hansa is now like 5, but the statue hasn't aged.

We didn't see any gorilla's, but Puck did.

Puck felt right at home on this HUGE egg near the Flamingos. I'm wondering now if Flamingos are really white birds, but they mate with Pink Ducks and thus they become Pink Flamingos...

We only saw the eye balls of the hippos. Puck stumbled onto this one that was quite stuck in the mud.

And finally, Puck wanted to meet a lion. So he did. I'm just glad this lion was full or I'd be searching for Puck in the stomach of a lion.

Most of our adventures were viewing this site of the animals:

We saw a lot of backsides of the animals. Well, I saw the backsides, it seemed when I'd walk away they'd turn around. I have a special gift you see...animals respond AFTER I leave.

I actually like this back side photo. The tail makes it interesting to me.

This gal was checking out her cuticles and realized man oh man she needs a manicure.

The giraffes were more difficult to see. To see them up close and personal like you could pay extra to feed them. I debated long and hard on that...then saw the line and kids and decided I didn't need to feed the giraffes.

And this animal was the most pampered of them all. He has his very own pink beehive wig to sleep on. Spoiled! That's what this caged animal is.

How to Deal

2011-09-22T10:38:00.000-07:00

During my 100 day sabbatical I did a little introspection...if that's a word. I had some large amounts of down time on my hand that while whatever task I was doing, I could think about personality quirks in myself that I'd like to change, or decide to not change. Some of my quirks I'm very fond of and have no intention of changing. The world will just have to deal.

I also thought about my relationships with people and whether I felt they were strong and healthy. Or did they need some work? We often get comfortable in a relationship and rarely revisit it and see if anything needs tweeking. I think that's what happens to marriages at certain points in their life span...and sometimes that leads to divorce. We just get too comfortable.

I had three issues I needed to concentrate on with regards to relationships:

Passive aggressive behavior
Healthy communication
Feeling appreciated
Feeling guilty

All these topics were related to a single person mostly and I needed to find a way to work with each.

Passive Aggressive Behavior
It drives me crazy. I've done it. I'm sure I'll do it again, but by and large, it drives me crazy. Especially when you're trying to communicate with someone. When someone responds or acts passive they are not being honest with themselves or with the person they’re communicating with. We’re all adults, be straight. Say what you mean and mean what you say. If I'm doing something that pisses you off, tell me. Let's have a conversation about it. Perhaps it's not what I'm doing, but what you're doing. Perhaps via an open dialog we can come to a compromise about how we discuss certain things. It's what healthy relationships are made up...good old fashion communication.

Healthy Communication
Which brings me to my next topic. Healthy communication. How to communicate effectively with someone you’ve known most your life? You get comfortable with your communication styles, but we grow as people, therefore our communication should grow as well. As we grow up – presumabley – we get more confidence. Conversations that would have killed us in our twenties shouldn’t be that hard in our 40’s.

I’m here to tell you; any relationship worth working at or keeping, will not crumble and fade away if you stand up for yourself or speak up. You do, however, need to be aware that even if you do speak up that no change will happen. Sometimes it’s just the way people are. Then you have a choice, are you okay with it or not? If you're not, then you have to do what makes YOU happy which may mean limiting your time with certain people.

Feeling Appreciated
We all want to feel appreciated. It’s human nature. What’s complicated is when we do something expecting appreciate from people, then don’t get that appreciation. I often don’t feel appreciated by some people.

During my introspection I remembered something an Xboyfriend said to me one time. At the time we were dating, I loved sending cards to people. And I did it frequently. I got angry and hurt when said X didn't say thank you or even acknowledge that I had sent a card. When I finally asked him about it he said, he figured I knew since he had said it so many times. Truth was, I needed that pat on the back every time. Then I figured out I was sending the cards to GET that pat on the back from him. Something was missing in our relationship and this was my way of trying to fill the hole with a little puddy.

Maybe that’s what’s happening now? I’ve done so much for certain people that its almost expected and therefore not appreciated. It’s become the status quo. Of course if I stop now without communicating this (and the blog doesn’t count) then it’ll only result in hurt feelings. Communicating this will be difficult, and maybe a bit painful. I’ll most likely feel guilty, which is a great segue into the next issue…Guilt.

Guilt
Oh guilt. We learn early about mother’s guilt. They are the masters of putting on the guilt. And almost every time, I give in. My mom, is the Queen of Guiltville…but she only uses it when absolutely necessary. Thankfully.

Guilt is an odd thing for me. I can’t decide if I’m feeling guilty by my own actions or is the person putting the guilt on. Its an internal struggle that I have quite come to grips with. “Why am I feeling guilty?” I often ask myself. “Should I feel guilty?” etc.

When I try to have an open conversation with some people, trying to explain what I’m feeling, why I’m doing what I’m doing, etc, I feel the guilt. It comes via a look, which I admit I could be misinterpreting. Then I start to second guess what it is I’m trying to communicate. How do I respond when I communicate to someone, and then from their response I read guilt? Is it me feeling guilty? Or them projecting the guilt? And how do I tell the difference?

I do have a sensitive side that doesn't want to hurt any one's feelings - I hope most of us have that side. And yet I can't always control if some one's feelings are hurt. Often I think I'm communicating something intelligently and with the right tone, and it gets taken wrong and blows up in my face. Sometimes I walk away and figure it's the other person having a bad day other times I want to respond to the person and ask what's up?

I struggle with this one the most. I don’t have an answer for this yet and hope that I will soon.

What to do?
So much to think about. So many issues that have so many moving parts. It keeps me awake at night sometimes – especially have an incident with certain people. I lay awake trying to figure out how I could have handled it better? Should I have handled it better? Was it me or them?

At the end of the day, I just want to be happy and want those around me to be happy. I want healthy relationships that can grow despite stress, bad communication, and pain. I want healthy relationships in which communication is open and flowing. Is that too much to ask?

3 days 60 miles and no voice to speak of

2011-09-21T10:52:00.000-07:00

This year's 3day had a whole different fill to it. Some good points, some bad, but still the emotional roller coaster of joy and sadness that I've come to expect from the 3 days.

Day 1:
We were up at the butt crack of dawn and at CenturyLink field to participate in opening ceremonies. Still, with 4 3day events under my belt, I cry. There is something so powerful with witnessing 2100 walkers celebrating the purpose they are all there. Some are walking for themselves, their mothers, daughters, sisters, etc who are all still with us. Some are walking for those who lost their battle. But all have the common goal to end breast cancer. Its amazing to feel the energy and power that comes off of these very focused group of people.

Team Wraspir was all set. They had their fanny packs, their feet were fresh, and they were ready to walk 60 miles. As with last year, The Niece came to help Walker Stalk with me. This year though she knew what to expect and had her 3day outfits all set and ready to show her Pink support.

Team Wraspir: The Niece, BigBro, Seattle SIL, me, and Blueberry

As always the Survivor Circle gets my tears flowing without any effort. The long flag is full of comments from all the walkers. They asked everyone to sign it and/or put their comments, wishes, dreams, reasons for walking. I took some time reading some of the comments and had to walk away...too many sad entries.

And they were off...

The route this year was primarily in the East side, but the walkers left from Seattle. The route from Seattle to Bellevue took the walkers across the I90 Floating Bridge. It was quite a site. On the other side of the bridge The Niece and I set up with our signs to welcome Team Wraspir (aka Saving 2nd Base).

Once The Niece and I left them there, we hoofed it to camp to drop off a spare car so BigBro would have one to drive home. Then we found the walkers. The Niece and I dressed up Sparky too. She looked HOT...as did the driver.

So the day progressed. I drove up and down the route, dancing, singing at the top of my lungs with very loud music, cheering, singing, and doing it all over again. I was exhausted by the time the day was over.

Day 2 was much of the same. Puck got more involved in Day 2. He got his photo take with the Firepersons walking this year. These people amaze me, walking the entire 60 miles in full gear (minus the tanks).

Puck got to experience the port-a-potties too. They're surprisingly clean.

As I was saying, day 2 was more of the same. Driving, singing, picking up walkers who needed a life - even though the 3day provide Sweep vans, some walkers prefer to ride in a spiffy convertible. Can you blame them?

Day two, Walter was out to support the team though. Walter is part of Flamingo Road, which is the team Blueberry does 99% of her training with. He's the sweetest dog ever and looks pretty darn good in Flamingo stuff.

And so the walkers finished day 2 with tired feet, blisters, but still an attitude of defiance that they were going to find a cure...and by God they were going to walk one more day.

Day 3 route was in Seattle. The walkers left from Husky Stadium and wondered their way through the U district to find themselves in Fremont. The Niece and I set up camp at the "Waiting for the Interurban statue and took photos for all the walkers. While at the statue I got to really see the spirit that is the 3 day. Tired walkers were continuing undeterred.

And then Princess Lori swung by...

Princess Lori and I were the ones who thought to decorate the statues. She had to swing by to make sure I had done a Princess worthy job.

The Niece and I found our way to lunch and we waited for the team. It amazed me as I sat there that the walkers coming in - who had walked at that point 55 miles - were still able to dance their way into lunch.

The Niece's 3rd day outfit was one that involved a pink cowboy hat with a crown (Princess Lori would be so proud). BigBro decided he needed to try on the had...Puck decided he needed to be in the photo.

Team Wraspir was dressed and ready to finish their last 5 miles to closing. Some day we'll get BigBro to actually dress up for closing. Until then Seattle SIL and Blueberry will carry the team.

Then...they made it. Full of joy, tired feet, but extremely happy and proud to be making a difference.

Now we've hit the refresh button. New ideas for fundraising next year, potentially crewing in Seattle and walking in San Diego...only time will tell.

I'll have all my photos posted to Flickr this week some time. But I'll leave you with this....THIS is why we do what we do. This is why thousands of walkers lace up in 15 different cities. THIS is why we must find a cure for breast cancer.

Back in the saddle again

2011-09-15T09:15:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am.

Back in the work saddle. Now if only I can get my work credentials to all, well, work, then I'd be all the way back in the saddle. Unfortunately at Hotel CaliforniaSoft it does take time to on board a new contractor, employee, vendor - whatever. They system seems to be quiet slow for a company that is known for such greatness.

Still, I'm back, and happy to be here. The team has changed slightly since last I sat in this chair. The job has changed slightly too - and toward my strengths which is always good. A good portion of the team is out this week so next week will feel like I'm really back and really able to work - if my credentials get going.

Tomorrow starts my favorite 3 days of the year. The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 3Day! I just finished the book "Promise Me" written by Nancy Brinker - the founder of SGK and now have a whole new appreciation of how far we've come in the fight for breast cancer. I'll be posting some of my favorite quotes later because they made me stop and think. And I have things I want to say about them, just not yet.

Back to the 3day.

These next three days will be filled with laughter, tears, and emotional outbursts I won't even know exists. I'll cry for what seems like no reason. The warmth and feeling of community that comes with the 3day is something I wish everyone could experience every day. I'll cherish these next three days. I'll be sleep deprived. I'll be tired and my feet will hurt (and I'm not even walking). I'll be emotionally drained and will take a couple thousand photos. And I'll be so happy to be there.

I've got the pink wig ready. I'll be pulling out the Flamingo costume from years past.

I've got the decorations for Sparky. This fringe table skirt will find it's way, somehow, around Sparky.

I've got the new team sign ready to go.

I'll be doing my naked rain dance tonight to stave off any rain for the weekend (for once I want the weather man to be wrong about his less than sunny outlook for this weekend).

No photo of the naked rain dance for obvious reasons.

It's a secret.

I've got the team coming over tonight to carb load.

I've got the Niece coming over to be my Walker Stalker (nice little tradition we've got going her and I.)

I've got my bag o' pink stuff ready to be annoyingly pink all weekend. I have new flamingo glasses and a new wig should the foot high beehive not be conducive to a convertible.

I'd say I'm set...

Happy Monday (aka last day of break)

2011-09-12T15:32:00.000-07:00

I'm still sitting her stunned that 100 days went by in a blink of an eye. Somehow I have to slow down time, I'm not ready for it to move along so quickly. Ugh.

Tomorrow it's back to work. I'm so excited truth be told. I love the group I work in and really enjoy the actual work. Plus the paycheck ain't bad either.

But before work commences, I'm finishing up last minute things for the 3day. Yes, my friends, the Seattle Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 3Day is this coming weekend. My team (BigBro, Seattle SIL, and Blueberry) will be strapping on their well worn in shoes and walking 60 miles (give or take). Meanwhile, Super Walker Stalker, the Niece, and I will be driving Sparky and looking very hot and pink as we do it. Sparky has some new decorations that she'll be wearing, sporting the pink for a cause near and dear to my heart.

In case you've forgotten, we do this because 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. That's way too many. We're out there to raise money to help find a cure. And before we find a cure, we can help raise money to affect change and help find better treatments.

Recently I read this in the book written by Nancy Brinker (founder for Susan G.Komen):
"Its my earliest inkling of what goes into change: movement meets messenger; information becomes action. Hearts and minds shift to a new paradigm, money happens and it all comes together."

And in case you still wanna donate go here:
Pick a Wraspir, any of them are great.

In other non related 3day news, last night was Sunday dinner.

Not too long ago I wrote a blog about the DadUnit and mania he cause with his BBQ ribs. I thought I'd take a shot at ribs. And I've gotta say, "Move over Dad! There's a new BBQ rib master in town."

OMG these ribs were so darn good. I highly recommend them.

The Pantry Goat did not want to share, but we made her eventually give up the platter o' ribs.

September Sunday Dinner Crowd: LTR

Pantry Goat, Packing Laurie, Seattle SIL, BigBro, Blueberry

Puck did eventually join the party. We couldn't take a Sunday Dinner Photo without the little pink duck.

30 years ago today...

2011-09-08T09:05:00.000-07:00

My parents got married.

Sounds weird to say that considering I was 12 when they married. I can remember it so vividly though that it makes me smile that I have such a wonderful memory and was able to participate in the wedding.

They were married at Lutheran Church of the Masters by Rev Dowling. He was a special reverend and dearly loved by the congregation, old and young alike.

The wedding was small, just close family and friends. The reception was at out house in Lancaster. The decorations were minimal and the cake was just a sheet cake. It didn't matter though, the important thing was they were getting married and we'd officially be a family.

My God Parents stood up with them. They were good friends back then and are still good friends to this day. I have several fond memories of time spent with GodMa and GodPa.

I was excited to see the MomUnit remarry. I was 12 and just starting the teen age drama period. I'm still shocked to this day that dad was interested in raising a girl through her teenage years, shows he's a bigger man than most. Mom's parents loved Dad and Dad's parents loved Mom. Even Grandpa Spaid's humor came out at the wedding - he was a quiet man, but could make you laugh until your sides hurt when he had a thought to.

Our house was full of love, and promises of consequences for any bad behavior. I'm likely still grounded for a few events I allegedly did. Being the only child at home though meant they were pretty sure "who dun it". The Rents ruled with love and a firm fist. When I started hanging with some questionable kids - all who were bound for jail eventually - the Rents put a full stop to that. Forbidding me to play with them. And their "forbidding" was final. I eventually moved on and they promoted me attending a local church youth group with many of my other friends. Dad would later say that he thinks that youth group is what set me on the life I have today. Providing more support than what our family already did.

Now 30 years later we're all grown and have some very fond memories stored from our life as a little family. There were definitely bad times, and dark days, but oddly those are hard to remember. There were too many good years that shadowed the bad - and not enough space in the memory banks for the bad.

So Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad. Here's to many, MANY more.

Spontaneous Road Trip

2011-09-05T10:42:00.000-07:00

I woke up on Saturday morning and realized it was going to be another beautiful day in the great Northwest. I drank my cup of coffee and pondered what to do today. The sun was out, the heat was coming, and I knew Sparky was itching to hit the open road.

I didn't really know where we were going to go, but Puck, Sparky and I headed out.

It didn't take me long to think to head toward Snoqualmie Falls through the back roads. So pedal to the metal and we were off.

We drove beautiful, scenic Washington roads and got to Snoqualmie Falls in no time.

The 270 foot falls this time of year are beautiful. The trees are still green and there's a significant amount of water falling over the falls. Snoqualmie Falls is one of Washington state’s most popular scenic attractions. More than 1.5 million visitors come to the Falls every year. And I think every single one of them were there on Saturday.

I hadn't been to the Falls in years, and was surprised to see they had redone the scenic area. The old observation deck was covered and a direct line for the mist the falls creates.

Puck wanted to try his luck going over the falls. I eventually talked him out of it, but he talked a good talk for the rest of the day.

From the falls I headed into Northbend. I wanted to try to get a photo of Mount Si. I driven past it for years but never thought to stop and try to take a photo. The trail heads for both Small Mt. Si and Big Mt. Si were packed with hikers making their trek to the top.

Northbend has a lot of old train cars sitting around and designed to be a visitor stop. Stop here and check out these old train cars! I couldn't get close enough to any of them to put puck in one to make it look like he was now a Hobo Duck. Instead he settled on playing chicken on a set of tracks. I didn't have the heart to tell him the tracks were no longer in use.

It was a beautiful day for an adventure. Sparky was happy to get out, Puck was happy to get out, and I was happy to get out. I have only 7 days before I return to work so I'm trying to make the most of what's left.

The list is, well, almost done.

Day 88

2011-09-01T10:28:00.000-07:00

I know! 88 days of the 100 days has FLOWN by. I knew it would go fast and I feel good about what I made of the 100 days. If the weather would have been more cooperative I might have made more of it. But turns out, I think it has gone pretty darn well.

In case you've forgotten, I had a 100 Day list. It's been updated.

I've done almost all of it to date. Within the next 12 days I will finish it. I have done a work back schedule for the last 12 days. Because like any project, there are delays and often things get in the way. But having a schedule helps keep things on a path.

Or I just did the work back schedule to get my PM brain back into fighting state.

Either way, I am ready to go back. Everyone has said, "Oh you'll wish you would have had more days." But really, I don't. 100 seems just about right before I think I'd go insane. Boredom would be right around the corner soon.

Today I'm finishing up my Photoshop Elements classes. Which means I need to take more photos and then practice my new skills on them. Or I could just use the thousands and THOUSANDS of photos I already have...

In other exciting news, the DadUnit got to come home yesterday. It had been a tough couple of months. He was, essentially, getting kicked out of the nursing facility because he wasn't willing to do his therapy (physical). He's a stubborn, old German and that stubborn side showed through in all it's beautiful colors.

So the doctors, social works, and mom decided to release him under hospice care. I know, I know. You hear the word hospice and your get this knot in your stomach that grows into almost making you want to throw up because hospice means immanent death. Turns out, that hospice is really a way to manage the comfort of patients who are terminal. Most die within weeks of hospice, but it can also be used on patients for months at a time. Medicare will pay 100% hospice care, so the team decided that he was "good enough" to come home. He'd be on hospice for 6 months and at that time they'd re-evaluate him. It was a win-win. The DadUnit got to come home. The MomUnit got the help she needed for the DadUnit at home.

The MomUnit just texted me to tell me they were on their way to the ER. Apparently the DadUnit cannot get up or around (walk from the bedroom to the living room) without assistance of some sort. The walker isn't enough assistance and he requires physical assistance, which the MomUnit cannot provide (her back isn't healthy enough). So they are starting back at the beginning. Watch this space for more information.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a list to get to.

Wow. I sucketh.

2011-08-28T14:21:00.000-07:00

Back in June when I started Jenn's Excellent Summer Vacation I promised I'd attempt to write daily. If you're a follower of this blog (thanks) then you're well aware that I failed, horribly, at this attempt. So, I'll give you a list of what I've been doing since I last wrote over a week ago.

1. SSiL and I went wine tasting. A very near city, Woodinville, is home to 93 wineries. I have yet to determine why Woodinville is so attractive to said wineries, but I'm on it. I have 14 more days of my adventure to figure it out. We did determine however, that wine tasting can cause one to consume too much wine, perhaps. And I can confirm we will be out doing it again soon.

2. PMDude's brother had a fund raiser to help pay for some medical bills he's accumulated thanks to stinky skin cancer. I took advantage of said fund raiser and took Sparky on a little trip to south King County. After spending some time harassing PMDude I figured I was right next door to IKEA so why not swing on in. They were just opening, and I gotta say, getting there early on a Saturday does wonders in avoiding screaming kids. I managed to only spend a little bit and got out of IKEA with a soap dispenser and ideas.

3. A friend of mine, her two kids and I hopped in Sparky and headed to Ellensberg to visit another friend and her two kids. I know your mouth just dropped open thinking I allowed children to be in Sparky. Never fear, I kept a close eye on those two. I gotta say, I now understand what drove my parents to say, "Don't make me pull this car over." We were only about 30 minutes into the drive and I found myself wanting to say that. All in all the trip was good. We ended it with having dinner with The Niece and her GalPal at a Mexican place in Cle Elum. Puck enjoyed his swim in the salsa.

4. Most of last week was more of the same. I'm attempting to get through my list and get myself back to work as planned. Met the bosses for a quick stroll through the Redmond Farmer's Market yesterday and was reminded why I so want to come back to work. Those two are a ton of fun and fun people make work, well, more fun.

5. One year ago this week, Blueberry, The Landlords, the Pantry Goat and I headed out to the high seas on our cruise to Alaska. I had the Landlords over for dinner on Friday to celebrate said cruise. We all marveled, okay maybe I was the only one who marveled, at how quickly that year went by.

6. I made a ton of new recipes last week. 5 to be exact. I screwed up the recipe for the Alaska cruise dinner with the Landlords, but was able to save it. Then today I was looking through some other recipes and discovered the recipe I "thought" I was making wasn't what I made. Which now makes sense as to why it didn't taste as good. Ah well, moving on. This next week I'll be making a bunch of new recipes again. I've found my cooking mojo back for a bit. Wanna see these fantastic recipes? Check out Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice.

7. 14 more days.

The Feast

2011-08-17T13:12:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you a little story.

It begins in about 1981 - give or take. I discovered the man my mother was about to marry and spend the rest of their lives with barbecued. And he barbecued a LOT. I had never, in all my 12 years of life seen anyone who would BBQ everything and anything. The standing joke in our family was if he could, the DadUnit would BBQ spaghetti. We didnt' tempt him.

Because of growing up with BBQ as the main appliance in the Wraspir household, I'm a big fan of anything BBQ'd. And now I too am a BBQ'er. I watched the DadUnit for years as he mastered the grill. His most beloved accomplishment were his BBQ ribs with the MomUnit's BBQ sauce. Which the DadUnit eventually played with and eventually came up with a tangy, delicious version of his own.

We joked that his BBQ ribs was my dowry.

Because of now being spoiled by the DadUnit's ribs, I can't appreciate ribs any where else. I had dinner at the restaurant the NieceUnit works and while they were good, Blueberry and I compared them to the DadUnit's ribs. Puck seemed to really get into them.

I, on the other hand, have never EVER BBQ'd ribs. I think I may make some for a Sunday dinner in the future.

The other favorite BBQ treat everyone, but me, seems to like is pulled pork. While not BBQ'd, necessarily, on an actual BBQ, it generally has a BBQ sauce. I've tried pulled pork a number of times, and feel like I should like it, but just don't. Everyone says I've just not had the best pulled pork by (insert their favorite here).

Blueberry talked me into meeting her for lunch yesterday in downtown Seattle. I picked her up at the courthouse and we headed down 1st Ave to Pecos.

Its a very small outfit with just two windows. The line, though, is not small. Blueberry and I were there at mid day and the line was non-stop. Very little sitting outside too, but people made due. Scooting over to let strangers sit next to them to enjoy their messy lunch.

And messy doesn't even really cover it.

See that spork there? Yah, you need it for sure. There's no way you could pick up with masterpiece and eat it.

Now, I didn't get the pulled pork. Instead I opted for the pulled beef. The sauce comes in several different degrees of heat and I opted to start light and mild. Glad I did. It was just right. Blueberry, meanwhile, got the medium and was sniffling the entire time saying, "God I love this."

I'm still not a convert to loving pulled pork, or beef, but Pecos was pretty darn good. The sandwich was easily 1/2 lb of goodness. I'm not joking either. It was beefy and hefty on the portion.

What this has to do with the DadUnit and his BBQ is as we sat Blueberry and I reminisced about the BBQ ribs. While we were stuffing our faces we were dreaming of those ribs. The DadUnit doesn't BBQ anymore - which saddens me to no end. But I promised Blueberry yesterday that I will do what I can to master the ribs. I will become the rib master that the DadUnit was. I might need some help eating them though. Anyone want to join me?