The Zoo...

Okay, first things first. I lost my blog template. So welcome to the new template. Some day I'm going to meet someone who can willingly, and freely, design me a blogger template. If that's you, let me know...

In other news, I went to the zoo this past weekend.  I haven't been to the zoo for 10 years and it's changed a little. I'm quite impressed with Woodland Park Zoo and how they've laid it out. I found myself conflicted with caging animals for our entertainment, and the realization that these animals have a pretty good life. Food, health care and shelter.

The Zoo was interesting. I was getting ready to ask for my money back because we weren't seeing any animals...and therefore ALL The kids around me seemed to be entering the city limits of Meltdownville. My suggestion was to toss a kid or two into the animal area and THEN we'd see animals. No one thought that was good of an idea as me.

Puck had a great time. He made a ton of new friends.

He felt right at home with them.

Here he is with Baby Hansa - the new - well used to be new baby elephant. I think Hansa is now like 5, but the statue hasn't aged.

We didn't see any gorilla's, but Puck did.

Puck felt right at home on this HUGE egg near the Flamingos.  I'm wondering now if Flamingos are really white birds, but they mate with Pink Ducks and thus they become Pink Flamingos...

We only saw the eye balls of the hippos.  Puck stumbled onto this one that was quite stuck in the mud.

And finally, Puck wanted to meet a lion. So he did. I'm just glad this lion was full or I'd be searching for Puck in the stomach of a lion.

Most of our adventures were viewing this site of the animals:

We saw a lot of backsides of the animals. Well, I saw the backsides, it seemed when I'd walk away they'd turn around. I have a special gift you see...animals respond AFTER I leave.

I actually like this back side photo. The tail makes it interesting to me.

This gal was checking out her cuticles and realized man oh man she needs a manicure.

The giraffes were more difficult to see. To see them up close and personal like you could pay extra to feed them. I debated long and hard on that...then saw the line and kids and decided I didn't need to feed the giraffes.

And this animal was the most pampered of them all. He has his very own pink beehive wig to sleep on. Spoiled! That's what this caged animal is.

How to Deal

During my 100 day sabbatical I did a little introspection...if that's a word. I had some large amounts of down time on my hand that while whatever task I was doing, I could think about personality quirks in myself that I'd like to change, or decide to not change. Some of my quirks I'm very fond of and have no intention of changing. The world will just have to deal.

I also thought about my relationships with people and whether I felt they were strong and healthy. Or did they need some work? We often get comfortable in a relationship and rarely revisit it and see if anything needs tweeking. I think that's what happens to marriages at certain points in their life span...and sometimes that leads to divorce. We just get too comfortable.

I had three issues I needed to concentrate on with regards to relationships:

1. Passive aggressive behavior
2. Healthy communication
3. Feeling appreciated
4. Feeling guilty

All these topics were related to a single person mostly and I needed to find a way to work with each.

Passive Aggressive Behavior
It drives me crazy. I've done it. I'm sure I'll do it again, but by and large, it drives me crazy. Especially when you're trying to communicate with someone. When someone responds or acts passive they are not being honest with themselves or with the person they’re communicating with.  We’re all adults, be straight. Say what you mean and mean what you say.  If I'm doing something that pisses you off, tell me. Let's have a conversation about it. Perhaps it's not what I'm doing, but what you're doing. Perhaps via an open dialog we can come to a compromise about how we discuss certain things. It's what healthy relationships are made up...good old fashion communication.

Healthy Communication
Which brings me to my next topic. Healthy communication.  How to communicate effectively with someone you’ve known most your life?  You get comfortable with your communication styles, but we grow as people, therefore our communication should grow as well.  As we grow up – presumabley – we get more confidence. Conversations that would have killed us in our twenties shouldn’t be that hard in our 40’s. 

I’m here to tell you; any relationship worth working at or keeping, will not crumble and fade away if you stand up for yourself or speak up. You do, however, need to be aware that even if you do speak up that no change will happen. Sometimes it’s just the way people are. Then you have a choice, are you okay with it or not? If you're not, then you have to do what makes YOU happy which may mean limiting your time with certain people.

Feeling Appreciated
We all want to feel appreciated.  It’s human nature. What’s complicated is when we do something expecting appreciate from people, then don’t get that appreciation.  I often don’t feel appreciated by some people. 

During my introspection I remembered something an Xboyfriend said to me one time. At the time we were dating, I loved sending cards to people. And I did it frequently. I got angry and hurt when said X didn't say thank you or even acknowledge that I had sent a card. When I finally asked him about it he said, he figured I knew since he had said it so many times. Truth was, I needed that pat on the back every time. Then I figured out I was sending the cards to GET that pat on the back from him. Something was missing in our relationship and this was my way of trying to fill the hole with a little puddy.

Maybe that’s what’s happening now? I’ve done so much for certain people that its almost expected and therefore not appreciated. It’s become the status quo. Of course if I stop now without communicating this (and the blog doesn’t count) then it’ll only result in hurt feelings.  Communicating this will be difficult, and maybe a bit painful.  I’ll most likely feel guilty, which is a great segue into the next issue…Guilt.

Guilt
Oh guilt. We learn early about mother’s guilt. They are the masters of putting on the guilt. And almost every time, I give in.  My mom, is the Queen of Guiltville…but she only uses it when absolutely necessary. Thankfully.

Guilt is an odd thing for me.  I can’t decide if I’m feeling guilty by my own actions or is the person putting the guilt on.  Its an internal struggle that I have quite come to grips with. “Why am I feeling guilty?” I often ask myself. “Should I feel guilty?” etc.

When I try to have an open conversation with some people, trying to explain what I’m feeling, why I’m doing what I’m doing, etc, I feel the guilt.  It comes via a look, which I admit I could be misinterpreting. Then I start to second guess what it is I’m trying to communicate. How do I respond when I communicate to someone, and then from their response I read guilt? Is it me feeling guilty? Or them projecting the guilt? And how do I tell the difference?

I do have a sensitive side that doesn't want to hurt any one's feelings - I hope most of us have that side. And yet I can't always control if some one's feelings are hurt. Often I think I'm communicating something intelligently and with the right tone, and it gets taken wrong and blows up in my face. Sometimes I walk away and figure it's the other person having a bad day other times I want to respond to the person and ask what's up?

I struggle with this one the most.  I don’t have an answer for this yet and hope that I will soon.

What to do?
So much to think about.  So many issues that have so many moving parts.  It keeps me awake at night sometimes – especially have an incident with certain people.  I lay awake trying to figure out how I could have handled it better? Should I have handled it better? Was it me or them?

At the end of the day, I just want to be happy and want those around me to be happy.  I want healthy relationships that can grow despite stress, bad communication, and pain.  I want healthy relationships in which communication is open and flowing. Is that too much to ask?

3 days 60 miles and no voice to speak of

This year's 3day had a whole different fill to it. Some good points, some bad, but still the emotional roller coaster of joy and sadness that I've come to expect from the 3 days. 

Day 1:
We were up at the butt crack of dawn and at CenturyLink field to participate in opening ceremonies.  Still, with 4 3day events under my belt, I cry. There is something so powerful with witnessing 2100 walkers celebrating the purpose they are all there. Some are walking for themselves, their mothers, daughters, sisters, etc who are all still with us. Some are walking for those who lost their battle. But all have the common goal to end breast cancer. Its amazing to feel the energy and power that comes off of these very focused group of people.

Team Wraspir was all set. They had their fanny packs, their feet were fresh, and they were ready to walk 60 miles.  As with last year, The Niece came to help Walker Stalk with me. This year though she knew what to expect and had her 3day outfits all set and ready to show her Pink support. 

Team Wraspir: The Niece, BigBro, Seattle SIL, me, and Blueberry

As always the Survivor Circle gets my tears flowing without any effort.  The long flag is full of comments from all the walkers. They asked everyone to sign it and/or put their comments, wishes, dreams, reasons for walking.  I took some time reading some of the comments and had to walk away...too many sad entries.

And they were off...

The route this year was primarily in the East side, but the walkers left from Seattle.  The route from Seattle to Bellevue took the walkers across the I90 Floating Bridge.  It was quite a site.  On the other side of the bridge The Niece and I set up with our signs to welcome Team Wraspir (aka Saving 2nd Base).

Once The Niece and I left them there, we hoofed it to camp to drop off a spare car so BigBro would have one to drive home. Then we found the walkers.  The Niece and I dressed up Sparky too.  She looked HOT...as did the driver. 

So the day progressed. I drove up and down the route, dancing, singing at the top of my lungs with very loud music, cheering, singing, and doing it all over again.  I was exhausted by the time the day was over.

Day 2 was much of the same.  Puck got more involved in Day 2. He got his photo take with the Firepersons walking this year. These people amaze me, walking the entire 60 miles in full gear (minus the tanks).

Puck got to experience the port-a-potties too. They're surprisingly clean.

As I was saying, day 2 was more of the same. Driving, singing, picking up walkers who needed a life - even though the 3day provide Sweep vans, some walkers prefer to ride in a spiffy convertible. Can you blame them?

Day two, Walter was out to support the team though. Walter is part of Flamingo Road, which is the team Blueberry does 99% of her training with. He's the sweetest dog ever and looks pretty darn good in Flamingo stuff.

And so the walkers finished day 2 with tired feet, blisters, but still an attitude of defiance that they were going to find a cure...and by God they were going to walk one more day.

Day 3 route was in Seattle. The walkers left from Husky Stadium and wondered their way through the U district to find themselves in Fremont. The Niece and I set up camp at the "Waiting for the Interurban statue and took photos for all the walkers. While at the statue I got to really see the spirit that is the 3 day. Tired walkers were continuing undeterred.

And then Princess Lori swung by...

Princess Lori and I were the ones who thought to decorate the statues.  She had to swing by to make sure I had done a Princess worthy job.

The Niece and I found our way to lunch and we waited for the team.  It amazed me as I sat there that the walkers coming in - who had walked at that point 55 miles - were still able to dance their way into lunch. 

The Niece's 3rd day outfit was one that involved a pink cowboy hat with a crown (Princess Lori would be so proud).  BigBro decided he needed to try on the had...Puck decided he needed to be in the photo.

Team Wraspir was dressed and ready to finish their last 5 miles to closing. Some day we'll get BigBro to actually dress up for closing. Until then Seattle SIL and Blueberry will carry the team.

Then...they made it. Full of joy, tired feet, but extremely happy and proud to be making a difference.

Now we've hit the refresh button.  New ideas for fundraising next year, potentially crewing in Seattle and walking in San Diego...only time will tell.

I'll have all my photos posted to Flickr this week some time.  But I'll leave you with this....THIS is why we do what we do. This is why thousands of walkers lace up in 15 different cities. THIS is why we must find a cure for breast cancer.

Back in the saddle again

Yes, I am.

Back in the work saddle. Now if only I can get my work credentials to all, well, work, then I'd be all the way back in the saddle.  Unfortunately at Hotel CaliforniaSoft it does take time to on board a new contractor, employee, vendor - whatever. They system seems to be quiet slow for a company that is known for such greatness.

Still, I'm back, and happy to be here. The team has changed slightly since last I sat in this chair. The job has changed slightly too - and toward my strengths which is always good.  A good portion of the team is out this week so next week will feel like I'm really back and really able to work - if my credentials get going.

Tomorrow starts my favorite 3 days of the year. The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 3Day!  I just finished the book "Promise Me" written by Nancy Brinker - the founder of SGK and now have a whole new appreciation of how far we've come in the fight for breast cancer.  I'll be posting some of my favorite quotes later because they made me stop and think.  And I have things I want to say about them, just not yet.

Back to the 3day.

These next three days will be filled with laughter, tears, and emotional outbursts I won't even know exists. I'll cry for what seems like no reason.  The warmth and feeling of community that comes with the 3day is something I wish everyone could experience every day.  I'll cherish these next three days. I'll be sleep deprived. I'll be tired and my feet will hurt (and I'm not even walking).  I'll be emotionally drained and will take a couple thousand photos.  And I'll be so happy to be there.

I've got the pink wig ready. I'll be pulling out the Flamingo costume from years past.

I've got the decorations for Sparky. This fringe table skirt will find it's way, somehow, around Sparky.

I've got the new team sign ready to go.

I'll be doing my naked rain dance tonight to stave off any rain for the weekend (for once I want the weather man to be wrong about his less than sunny outlook for this weekend).

No photo of the naked rain dance for obvious reasons.

It's a secret.

I've got the team coming over tonight to carb load.

I've got the Niece coming over to be my Walker Stalker (nice little tradition we've got going her and I.)

I've got my bag o' pink stuff ready to be annoyingly pink all weekend. I have new flamingo glasses and a new wig should the foot high beehive not be conducive to a convertible.

I'd say I'm set...

Happy Monday (aka last day of break)

I'm still sitting her stunned that 100 days went by in a blink of an eye.  Somehow I have to slow down time, I'm not ready for it to move along so quickly. Ugh.

Tomorrow it's back to work. I'm so excited truth be told. I love the group I work in and really enjoy the actual work.  Plus the paycheck ain't bad either.

But before work commences, I'm finishing up last minute things for the 3day. Yes, my friends, the Seattle Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 3Day is this coming weekend. My team (BigBro, Seattle SIL, and Blueberry) will be strapping on their well worn in shoes and walking 60 miles (give or take). Meanwhile, Super Walker Stalker, the Niece, and I will be driving Sparky and looking very hot and pink as we do it. Sparky has some new decorations that she'll be wearing, sporting the pink for a cause near and dear to my heart. 

In case you've forgotten, we do this because 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. That's way too many. We're out there to raise money to help find a cure. And before we find a cure, we can help raise money to affect change and help find better treatments.

Recently I read this in the book written by Nancy Brinker (founder for Susan G.Komen):
"Its my earliest inkling of what goes into change: movement meets messenger; information becomes action. Hearts and minds shift to a new paradigm, money happens and it all comes together."

And in case you still wanna donate go here:
Pick a Wraspir, any of them are great.

In other non related 3day news, last night was Sunday dinner.

Not too long ago I wrote a blog about the DadUnit and mania he cause with his BBQ ribs. I thought I'd take a shot at ribs. And I've gotta say, "Move over Dad! There's a new BBQ rib master in town."

OMG these ribs were so darn good. I highly recommend them.

The Pantry Goat did not want to share, but we made her eventually give up the platter o' ribs.

September Sunday Dinner Crowd: LTR

Pantry Goat, Packing Laurie, Seattle SIL, BigBro, Blueberry

Puck did eventually join the party. We couldn't take a Sunday Dinner Photo without the little pink duck.

30 years ago today...

My parents got married.

Sounds weird to say that considering I was 12 when they married. I can remember it so vividly though that it makes me smile that I have such a wonderful memory and was able to participate in the wedding.

They were married at Lutheran Church of the Masters by Rev Dowling. He was a special reverend and dearly loved by the congregation, old and young alike. 

The wedding was small, just close family and friends. The reception was at out house in Lancaster.  The decorations were minimal and the cake was just a sheet cake.  It didn't matter though, the important thing was they were getting married and we'd officially be a family.

My God Parents stood up with them. They were good friends back then and are still good friends to this day.  I have several fond memories of time spent with GodMa and GodPa. 

I was excited to see the MomUnit remarry.  I was 12 and just starting the teen age drama period.  I'm still shocked to this day that dad was interested in raising a girl through her teenage years, shows he's a bigger man than most.  Mom's parents loved Dad and Dad's parents loved Mom.  Even Grandpa Spaid's humor came out at the wedding - he was a quiet man, but could make you laugh until your sides hurt when he had a thought to.

Our house was full of love, and promises of consequences for any bad behavior.  I'm likely still grounded for a few events I allegedly did. Being the only child at home though meant they were pretty sure "who dun it".  The Rents ruled with love and a firm fist. When I started hanging with some questionable kids - all who were bound for jail eventually - the Rents put a full stop to that.  Forbidding me to play with them. And their "forbidding" was final.  I eventually moved on and they promoted me attending a local church youth group with many of my other friends.  Dad would later say that he thinks that youth group is what set me on the life I have today. Providing more support than what our family already did.

Now 30 years later we're all grown and have some very fond memories stored from our life as a little family.  There were definitely bad times, and dark days, but oddly those are hard to remember.  There were too  many good years that shadowed the bad - and not enough space in the memory banks for the bad. 

So Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad. Here's to many, MANY more.

Spontaneous Road Trip

I woke up on Saturday morning and realized it was going to be another beautiful day in the great Northwest.  I drank my cup of coffee and pondered what to do today. The sun was out, the heat was coming, and I knew Sparky was itching to hit the open road.

I didn't really know where we were going to go, but Puck, Sparky and I headed out.

It didn't take me long to think to head toward Snoqualmie Falls through the back roads.  So pedal to the metal and we were off.

We drove beautiful, scenic Washington roads and got to Snoqualmie Falls in no time.

The 270 foot falls this time of year are beautiful. The trees are still green and there's a significant amount of water falling over the falls. Snoqualmie Falls is one of Washington state’s most popular scenic attractions. More than 1.5 million visitors come to the Falls every year. And I think every single one of them were there on Saturday.

I hadn't been to the Falls in years, and was surprised to see they had redone the scenic area.  The old observation deck was covered and a direct line for the mist the falls creates.

Puck wanted to try his luck going over the falls. I eventually talked him out of it, but he talked a good talk for the rest of the day.

From the falls I headed into Northbend. I wanted to try to get a photo of Mount Si.  I driven past it for years but  never thought to stop and try to take a photo.  The trail heads for both Small Mt. Si and Big Mt. Si were packed with hikers making their trek to the top.

 

Northbend has a lot of old train cars sitting around and designed to be a visitor stop. Stop here and check out these old train cars! I couldn't get close enough to any of them to put puck in one to make it look like he was now a Hobo Duck.  Instead he settled on playing chicken on a set of tracks. I didn't have the heart to tell him the tracks were no longer in use.

It was a beautiful day for an adventure. Sparky was happy to get out, Puck was happy to get out, and I was happy to get out.  I have only 7 days before I return to work so I'm trying to make the most of what's left.

The list is, well, almost done.