Lost: One full bottle of glitter

A couple of years ago a friend of mine when talking about her best friend that she lost to breast cancer called her a "full bottle of glitter."  I knew immediately what type of person the best friend was.

Today, I too lost a friend who could only be described as full bottle of glitter.

borrowed from her FB page

Lourdes experienced a ruptured brain aneurysm on Monday. Her prognosis was grim. Today the family listened to their hearts and did what they knew Lourdes would want and took her off life support.

I don't even know what to say about Lourdes that can truly express just what a lovely, spirited, full of life, kind, gracious woman she was.  Reading her FB page tonight broke my heart as she was loved by so many.  Every person she touched chiming in, expressing their love for her and their grief. My heart breaks reading the comments.

One is never really ready to say goodbye to someone you love, and we go through life assuming we have all the time in the world to do things we dream of doing, and telling the one's we love we love them.  I'm here to tell you, do... not... wait... Do it. Live it. Say it.

Lourdes suffered a brain aneurysm about 3 years ago. She vowed to come back better and stronger.  She was determined to live life like there was no tomorrow because she had been close enough to recognize there may not be a tomorrow. She took life by the horns and road it 8+ seconds.  I wish I would have thanked her for reminding me so often that life is for living, without reservation, without fear, without regret.

I'll smile with every thought of you and I'll forever be grateful that you were a part of my life. Many of us go through life never touching as many hearts as you have.  Your footprint is indelible. Your personality mirrored your life....overflowing with exuberance, humor and love. You were a beacon of beauty in the world.   Heaven is taking back an angel tonight. RIP my dear friend.

A Kingdome Lost

The  morning was crisp, but the sun was already showing some promise of making an appearance.  It was early when I loaded up the camera and hopped in the Stang. 

First stop, predictably was Starbucks. Back then in 2000 it was my lifeline.  I did nothing without that warm cup of java. 

Next stop, a park in West Seattle. The plan was to witness the implosion of the Seattle Kindome.

That was twelve years ago.

Unbelievable to think it has been that long.  Knowing today as the anniversary of the implosion, I went searching for my photos. 

Now keep in mind, back in 2000 I as still shooting with film.  How times have changed since then?  I had my 300mm lens hooked up to my first Canon Rebel. It was hooked up to my tri-pod. I would be shooting quite a distance to get the implosion on film.  And back then, you did your best to set the camera up and you hoped and prayed you did it right. There was no taking a photo and checking, and certainly no post production.

Not to mention the kingdome would only be imploded once.

The count down began.

As the timer hit zero, loud booms in succession could be heard across the sound.  We were across the water, so we saw what was happening before we heard the booms.  Then within seconds the once great, ahead of its time kingdome, was a pile of rubble.

Looking at it now, it seems like just yesterday.  And sadly, we're still paying for the kingdome even though it's long gone.

Where were you when it was imploded?

Quick and Dirty

If there is one thing I know to be not so quick, it's weight loss.  Ugh.

For those of you keeping up at home, and for those of you who are just stopping by for some much needed refreshing reading, here's an update.

As of last Saturday, I've lost 15lbs. Wow. I know. I'm totally stoked about it and can't wait for that to read 25/35/45/etc.  Here's the thing though.  Its slow.  I knew it would be. And I know it will be.  Logically, I know that.  I know that it didn't take a month to put this weight on so it'll take twice as long to take it off.

In the beginning of this life style change, the loss of a pound or less was exciting. Progress.  And somewhere in the middle of this 15 lbs the loss of a pound or less just didn't seem enough.  Frustration set in.

Then last night I decided at 9pm to go work out.  I am not sure what induced this thought to get dressed, get in the car (yes I drove. Not only was it raining, but dark and scary out there), and get to the gym.  The 30 minutes on the elliptical went by quickly. And as I was stretching after I was thinking about 15lbs and how quickly the loss really does add up - relatively speaking.

Let's take for example. When you've lost 6 lbs.  Nice, but not impressive.  It just says to me that okay you have this life style change a go.  Now what? 

But losing 15lbs to me says commitment is setting in.  Its been a battle, and a struggle, and it will continue to be one (thanks to age and slow metabolism).  But FIFTEEN POUNDS is big.  It sparkles and flashes in neon lights to me that I'm on the right path.  That despite and set backs I may "feel" I had, or despite the piece of candy/sweet I might have had, or carb I may have shoved in my mouth, I'm still doing it. 

No, it hasn't been quick.  In fact, I'm starting my 11th week and am averaging 1.36 lbs.  If I keep up this average, I will lose almost 40lbs by the cruise in October.  That doesn't seem enough to me, but it seems steady enough that maybe they'll stay off. Maybe I'll even *gasp* work out on the cruise to help keep it off.

At the end of the day, I'd like this journey to be quicker. But I know it won't be. So I'll just sit back and enjoy the ride and be proud of what I'm doing and know that each step I take will mean a longer, healthier life.

On being a PiMP

In 2004 I was working at the Cat Shack (not the real name of the company) struggling in my job.  I had no direction. I had no real manager who could help direct me. The company re-orged and left me hanging without a place to go in the new org.  They had no idea what to do with me. And I had no idea what to do with me.  I wasn't happy with the current "work" I was doing, and wanted more.  I just didn't know what "more" looked like.

My manager who was, in my opinion, crazy, was quite possibly the worst manager I had ever had.  We were in cube-land and she would send an email, walk to my desk and ask if I read her email.  She frustrated me and annoyed me all the time.  She seemed smart, but didn't seem to have a clue, or care, what it was I was doing.

One day she and I were leaving at the same time. Walking to our cars she asked me if I ever thought about taking some project management classes.  I must have looked bemused because she quickly continued and said she thinks I have a natural sense for managing projects.  She thought if I showed some initiative and started taking classes that perhaps I could be a PM at this company.  She outlined the qualities I currently had that made me potentially a good PM and said she'd even approve the company to pay for my training.

Needless to say, I hopped on it.

I started taking classes toward a PM certificate at a local community college. As each quarter passed, I got closer and closer to achieving PM knowledge and thus a better career at the company.

Finally in 2005 I completed all the classes. I had in my hands a certificate that said I had taken and passed the certificate courses at the college. (Incidentally, this is where I met the Pantry Goat. She was one of my instructors.) Several members of this class were all going to continue to study for the PMP exam (Project Management Professional) - which I hadn't really considered, but figured why not. If they are all studying it would help keep me focused.

In the meantime, at the Cat Shack we re-orged.  My new manager told me I could potentially be a PM if I had my certification. So I had more on the line to pass this test.

The studying for this test was grueling.  I studied 120 hours - every waking hour was spent learning PM guidelines, rules, ways of life and then some.  I memorized my study guide from inside out.  I memorized all the formulas for earned value.  I made flash cards for definitions and concepts.  I put my heart, soul and brain into studying for this exam.

Then the day arrived to take the exam. Walking into the cramped exam room I knew my stuff. I was confident I'd do just fine and my life would change on Monday once I showed the Cat Shack I was a PMP. None of the current PMs at the Cat Shack were PMPs and so I was sure I'd be accepted and moved into a new role.

4 hours later, I sat, anxiously ready to push the "I'm done - score my test" button.  My finger lingered.  Thoughts ran through my head, "Do I need to go back to #45?", "Did I do that formula in #134 correctly?" I kept second guessing myself for a bit. Finally I pushed the "I'm done" button.  The screen went blank and I sat holding my breath.  What felt like eternity was probably only 15 seconds when a note popped up saying, go see the proctor.

Ugh. That can't be a good sign.  I walked out of the exam room, and to the proctor who was standing by the printer.  He pulled the papers from the printer, stapled them, and handed them to me and said,
Congrats! You got an 88%."

Wait - what? I passed? WOO HOO!!!!

I flew home. I was so excited that I could barely stand it.  The MomUnit and DadUnit were at my house and were anxiously waiting my arrival to find out.  The MomUnit and I danced a little jig.  Then we all went to dinner (Blueberry came with us since she had suffered through the hours of me studying too.)

The next week I was thrilled. I told my boss and a very impressive email went out to the entire company telling them I was, for all intense and purposes, a rock star.  I knew my life was going to change. I was on my way.

Or so I thought.

Next one on one with the new boss and he said, "You'll never be a PM." I wasn't sure if he meant there at the Cat Shack, or ever. But I knew then I had to leave.

That was 7 years ago.  I just completed my second round of PMP certification duties - basically getting a certain number of professional development units to continue being a PMP. I forked over my $150 and a new certificate saying I'm valid for 3 more years is on its way.

I was right in 2005 though, my life did change.  I didn't make more money immediately. In fact, I hadn't really made real PMP $$ until the last two years.  But I did move on. I did start becoming a PM and a good one too. My crazy boss was right, I did have all the mad PM skills basically built in, I just had to learn to use them. And it's amusing to me that the most annoying boss I ever had, basically changed my life. 

I have pondered once or twice if I need to keep my PMP certification. And every single time I think about it I remember how much work I put into it.  Its a priveldge to be a PMP and I'm thrilled that I was able to accomplish it.

So here's to another 3 years of being a PMP.  Its been fun.  Its been real.  Its been real fun. 

Jell-o pudding

So the sickness has passed...mostly. I'm still hacking a bit, but it's not nearly as bad as it was. And I've not had any of those dreaded hacking spells that hurt so much all I can do is just focus on breathing. Ack.

Jell-o pudding has become the new sick food I guess. During the bronchitis adventure all I wanted was Greek Olive hummus/pita and chocolate pudding. Weird combination to be sure. But it felt safe...and I figured if it had to come back up it wouldn't be too bad. Turns out it stayed down and all seemed well. But now I'm slightly addicted to jell-o pudding. The little pudding cups are only 100 calories, and are a pretty satisfying snack. Cool and refreshing. 

Back when my girlie innards were removed, I didn't eat for like two months.  I only craved Nutella and fritos.  Lost 30 lbs by eating only those two things.  Also a weird combination. I wonder what I would have craved if I ever had kids? Way back when I used to crave cottage cheese when I was sick. And I HATE cottage cheese. Blech.

The weigh in at Jenny on Saturday (two weeks since the last weigh in) was positive and 5.5 lbs. Getting sick sure helped. Now if I can keep the sick pounds from returning.

Sunday Dinner was another success.  I made those Smokey Indoor Ribs again.  They're so easy and oh so good. I took a page out of Rachael Ray's book and did mashed potatoes with Borsin cheese in them. OMG if you've never mixed Borsin cheese into mashed potatoes, I highly recommend it. You don't need butter and just a touch of milk/cream to make them smooth potatoes.  I used the garlic and herb cheese and it just took the mashed potatoes over the top. I'll be doing this again.

Left to right: Blueberry, BigBro, Seattle SIL, Puck, Mr. Georgia, Mrs. Landlord, Mrs. Georgia and moi.

We had new peeps to dinner this month.  A new friend from Georgia and her husband made it to the inner circle and got on the much coveted invite list to Sunday Dinners.  It was a bit risky making BBQ ribs when southern folk were coming to dinner. But they both had seconds, so it must have been good.

And as you can tell, there weren't any leftovers.

Hacker

Here we are day 12 of the cold to end all colds. I finally caved to the MomUnit's guilt and went to the ER on Monday. I felt so horrible I figured it was the right thing to do.

There's a new ER/clinic by my place. In fact directly across the street.  I drove to the Urgent Care that used to be in my area, but apparently they moved. So back to the ER.  This place was AWESOME. If I ever have to go to the ER again I'm going there.

Super new, fantastic staff, and clean clean clean.  I was whisked in and "pampered" immediately. No waiting. I had 4 people getting me into a bed, shoes off (and other items of clothing removed), a warm blanket, a blood pressure cuff, and a oxygen doo-hickey on my finger before I could even get my name out.  The entire process was like a well rehearsed ballet.  And nice....man every single person was friendly and nice.  I felt safe and taken care of.

After the initial consultation with the nurse, the doctor came in and listened to my lungs. She was a bit concerned and so sent me for a chest X-ray.  I got to go on a road trip in the gurney to the X-ray room. WEEEEEE. 

X-rays have really come a long way. These are digital and immediate.  It was so quick. Well quick - ish. I still had to wait for the doctor to review them.

She came in about 30 minutes later with the prognosis.  Bronchitis. Oh boy!  She handed me a prescription for some antibiotics and sent me on my way.

I'm day 3 into my antibiotics and I'm feeling much better - thanks for asking. I've been working from home to keep the germs to myself...I'm sure my office mate and co-workers appreciate it.

I must say, on the plus side, I've not been eating and so have been losing weight.  I branched out yesterday and actually had a grilled cheese sandwich. It stayed down and tasted delicious.

Now I'm off to go hack up another lung or two.

A Bee in my Bonnet

This post will undoubtedly make a few people angry.  It will most likely go against the beliefs of several people I know who read this blog. And that's okay.  I respect your beliefs and am glad that I have friends/family in my life who have those beliefs.

That said, I have something on my mind.

Here are a few things I know to be true about myself:

1. I’m all for gay marriage
2. I’m all for people being treated equally
3. I’m all for love

Our government in Washington State has recently passed the right for homosexual couples to be married legally in Washington.  When the government signed those bills I was thrilled. It showed me that we have a very understand government and that they too believe in equal rights. The signing of this bill/law hasn’t been without demonstrations or comments from opposing groups.  Which just means that we’ll have to vote on this in November. I’m confident enough in the people of Washington and they are progressive enough to understand why this is a good thing, that I believe it will pass.

There are, however, people who are very against anything gay.  Who aren’t afraid to tell me that I’m wrong and they can prove it by sending me this.  

I have an open mind.  I’ve discussed politics with my conservative mother for years.  She’s wrong of course, (snicker snicker) but I can have an intelligent conversation with her and appreciate her point of view.  In fact, I like hearing other points of view and I like taking a moment to consider them and determine if they make sense or not.  Sometimes I even agree with them. So when this was sent to me I read it.  And in reading it, I thought about the person who sent it to me.  A person who says he’s a Christian, who loves his neighbor and who isn’t judgmental at all.  Huh. Interesting, because this piece screams judgment and not loving your neighbor.

Now, I get the Christian belief. I understand that they believe the Bible says homosexuality is wrong.  I get it. I do.  I don’t agree with it but I get it.  See, I’m not religious.  I am skeptical and cynical when it comes to a religion.  I believe that God exists – or a version of God.  But I don’t believe the Bible is the only Word there is.  The Bible has been translated how many times? How can you believe it’s accurate? And I find it interesting how different religions can interpret the same passage differently. Which is why I have a hard time with the Christian argument that homosexuality is bad. If I believe EVERY word of the Bible, then I’d also believe that incest is okay. I mean, let’s look at Adam and Eve.  God say, “Go forth and multiply.” Which they did. They had kids.  Well, if the siblings didn’t sleep with each other, then how did the race continue?

But I digress. I’d like to discuss some of these “Top 10 Harms of Sam-Sex Marriage”.

#1

Taxpayers, consumers, and businesses would be forced to subsidize homosexual relationships.
The article claims that homosexuals are “eager” to “get their hands on” Social Security and that they want their partners to be eligible for Social Security survivors benefits.  It further goes on to say that these benefits were originally designed for stay-at-home mothers who did not have retirement benefits from an employer.

Um – hang on here.  If the benefit was “meant” for “stay-at-home” mom’s, then there are likely thousands of Americans who are getting benefit in correctly then. How is this caused by homosexuals? And why shouldn’t they have this right? They are people after all. Gay couples usually love each other and stay together way longer than heterosexual couples (see the Kardashian’s for that).

Anyhow, it also goes on to say that homosexuals want to get their partners named as dependents so taxpayers pay for health insurance.  Ah – only if they work for the government.  Don’t companies pay for peoples insurance? But the article does explain that the “Never mind that "dependents" were, when the tax code was developed, assumed to be children and stay-at-home mothers.” Again, then how many thousands of Americans who are straight are getting this benefit? And you’re not complaining about them.

But the part that really gets me is, “ And never mind that homosexuals have higher rates of physical disease, mental illness, and substance abuse, leading to more medical claims and higher insurance premiums.”  The author does sight the and his foot note says, “One of the architects of Social Security, Abraham Epstein, said, "[T]he American standard assumes a normal family of man, wife, and two or three children, with the father fully able to provide for them out of his own income." Abraham Epstein, Insecurity: A Challenge to America (New York: Harrison Smith and Robert Haas, 1933).” Oh well if it was written like that in 1933 then let’s never change. And let’s never use new technologies and new advancements to discover that it’s not just homosexual people who have mental illness or substance abuse. Ugh.

#2

Schools would teach that homosexual relationships are identical to heterosexual ones.
I could ask “what’s wrong with that?” but I know that’s way too easy.  Maybe if we start educating everyone about homosexuality there won’t be as many ignorant people in the world.  Parents often have the right to “opt out” of any curriculum a school provides.  So Opt out.  If you don’t want your child to learn and be open to ALL TYPES of people, then opt out. But I guarantee you that child will, in their lifetime, come across a gay person – why not give them the knowledge from both angles, for and against homosexuality, and let them as an individual decide. Oh and god forbid your child “turns out” gay.

#3

Freedom of conscience and religious liberty would be threatened.
The author says that same-sex “marriage” would serious damage religious liberties. Um and exactly what is your ignorant statements doing?  It says that professionals could be sued, like a doctor, for example, who refuses to treat a homosexual.   Well, I say, as a doctor I’m pretty sure the oath they took to care for sick people did not exclude homosexuals. Oh, but my favorite is the last line of this one, “Religious liberty is one of the deepest American val­ues. We must not sacrifice it on the altar of political correctness that homosexual “marriage” would create.” It may be a deep American value to some, but how many religions are there in the US? Do ALL religions feel the same way? And to me, the “deep American Value” has always been the melting pot theory. We take all kinds here. And guess what, that includes homosexuals.

#4

Fewer people would marry.
Wait what?  News flash…people are already opting out of marriage.  The author argues that even where same-sex marriage is legal few people opt to marry.  And maybe that’s true, but just because it’s legal doesn’t mean the HAVE to marry. I mean a homosexual relationship has all the components of a hetero one, and sometimes people just don’t want to marry. And that’s okay.  The author throws up several numbers, and percentages that show that in states and countries where gay marriage is legal, many are choosing not to.  His hypothesis is then, “These figures show that a large percentage, and pos­sibly even an outright majority, of homosexuals—even those already living with a partner—neither need nor desire to participate in the institution of marriage. Legalizing same-sex “marriage” would be very effective in sending a message of endorsement of homosexual behavior.” Endorsing it? Why does it need to be endorsed? Open your eyes you moron, it’s already happening.  Making it “legal” doesn’t mean its saying, “hey everyone, let’s be gay.” Guns are legal.  Does that mean murder is legal?

This argument to me is so ridiculous. I don’t even know where to begin.

#5

Fewer people would remain monogamous and sexually faithful.
I had no idea homosexuality had such strength.  So if we legalize same sex marriage, fewer people would remain monogamous? Huh? The authors says that “marriage itself is a sexually exclusive relationship.” Right! And that’s why adultery is so high right now.  And that’s why people who are our “leaders” and “Christians” are having affairs.  So every homosexual, according to this author, is likely to have a lifelong partner, AND sleep around.  Um, straight people have been doing that for years. It’s a human issue, not a sexual preference issue.

#6

Fewer people would remain married for a lifetime.
Hi, again, newsflash, have you seen the stats on marriage. 50% of heterosexual marriages end in divorce. FIFTY PERCENT.  Whereas homosexual partners are likely to stay together WAY longer than heterosexual.  In this contemporary world, where views of marriage have shifted so drastically from that classic model of " 'til death do us part," to this new idea of, "until I get sick of you," what gives anyone the authority to deny someone the right to marriage? Some argue that unions between homosexuals could somehow soil the sanctity of marriage, but if that's their main concern, then someone ought to let them know: between 45-55 percent of legal, heterosexual marriages end in divorce. So-called sacred unions are broken apart every day. It is someone's right to decide who they wish to spend their lives with, as is who they choose as a sexual partner. And, as long as both parties are of legal age and give their consent, it's no one else's business. Why, then, does everyone seem to want to make gay marriage a part of their business? The general public will be asked only to tolerate these unions, much like they were asked to tolerate bi-racial unions 50 years ago. Is that really so difficult?

#7

Fewer children would be raised by a married mother and father.
Oh this one I love.  The author writes, and I quote, “The greatest tragedy resulting from the legalization of homosexual “marriage” would not be its effect on adults, but its effect on children. For the first time in history, society would be placing its highest stamp of official government approval on the deliberate cre­ation of permanently motherless or fatherless house­holds for children. There simply cannot be any serious debate, based on the mass of scholarly literature available to us, about the ideal family form for children. It consists of a mother and father who are committed to one another in marriage.”

Well, given the divorce rate, I’m willing to say that divorce is causing many children to not have a father or a mother at the same time. And if they do, chances are high that they aren’t necessarily a perfect family.  How many thugs out there are the result of single parent families? Probably a lot.  How many criminals are the result of loving parents – father and mother – probably a lot. 

So a child has two mom’s or two dads.  If the two parents love that child as much as they can, then it’s a win-win. The child gets love. 

He goes on to say, “Children of lesbians are more likely to engage in homosexual behavior.” Um, just because a gay couple raises a kid, does not mean that kid will become gay itself. Pul-eeze.  This is an old wives tale that’s designed to cause fear and ignorance, and quite frankly, it’s just dumb.  I mean let’s look at it from a heterosexual perspective.  The gay people I know, ALL came from heterosexual couples.  So if gay parents raise gay kids, doesn’t it therefore mean that heterosexual parents raise hetero kids?  Same twisted logic, but somehow doesn’t seem to apply for this author.

#8
More children would grow up fatherless.
Um, or more children grow up with TWO fathers and no mother.  He expresses that a child growing up without a father and a mother will be “deprived of the tangible and intangible benefits of security that come from that family structure.” Right, all the way up until the parents get a divorce.  Again, to me, if you have two parents who love each other, and teach love, then the child should feel that security.  I can’t even count how many heterosexual families, whose children are whacked out because they lived with a mother and father. Every case is going to be unique and different and saying that because a child doesn’t have a father or a mother that they are somehow “missing out” is sad and wrong.  One of my good friends grew up without a father, she turned out just fine.

#9

Birth rates would fall.
Really?

The author says that giving the right to marry to people who are “intrinsically incapable of natural pro-creation” would dramatically change the social meaning of the institution of marriage.”

So by his logic, hetero couples who can’t get pregnant and use other means to have babies, then they too are dramatically changing the meaning.  He says long term fewer babies would be born. Well, that’s okay isn’t it? I mean have you seen the current population of this world.  Does EVERYONE need to have a baby?  I mean whether a homosexual couple marries or not doesn’t stop all the teenagers from having babies out of wedlock. That doesn’t damage the “sanctity of marriage”.

“…legalization of same-sex “marriage” would reinforce a declining emphasis on procreation as a key purpose of marriage—resulting in lower birth rates than if it had not been legalized.” I thought the key purpose of marriage was a tax write off. Okay, I’m kidding. But I’m not certain that the only purpose of marriage is to pro-create. I have several, SEVERAL friends who are married who have chosen to not have kids.  Likewise, I have several friends who are married who have had a ton of kids.  So to me, it’s kinda a wash.  I’m a single girl and I’m not having kids. But somewhere in the world, I’m betting within our own perfect little extended family, there’s a teenager who’s having a baby out of wedlock. 

And last but not least, #10

Demands for legalization of polygamy would grow.

For starters, I don’t see what the issue is with polygamy.  And how does homosexual marriage rights equate to this?  The author suggests that allowing homosexuals to marry is just the start of the downhill spiral and will open the door to allow other types of “marriages”. And so what?

So in closing, I know several of my Christian friends – if they’re still reading that is – are likely shaking their head at me in disgust. And that’s okay. I respect their beliefs and hope they can respect mine.  But at the end of the day, aren’t there more important things to bother with? How does two men or two women wanting to love each other and be a couple legally really affect you as an individual? We aren't all Christians and shouldn't be put in the "bucket" of what's right and wrong based on the "religious" belief of people.

I really wish we could all just get along. Live in harmony and stop forcing our religions on to everyone. And it’d be great if we could keep religion and government separate like the Constitution says.   

Some of my favorite people are gay, and they are some of the best people I know. Open, understanding, and caring.  They are, after all, humans first, American's second and should be given the same rights as all American's.