A million Little Lies...

Many of you may have heard all the hoolala (thanks for the word Cindy) around the book A Million Little Pieces, by James Frey. Quick synopses: James was a addict. He gets clean. The book is his recovery.

Oprah was a huge advocate toward this book and sent his books sales through the roof. She, and her staff, were hooked by the books amazing feeling and sadness. Then comes the day the Smoking Gun website discovers there are few inaccuracies in the "memoir" regarding his stay in jail. Oprah was Frey'd (pardon the pun). She brought James Frey back on her show, and essentially forced him to explain himself. How could he lie to her, Oprah Winphrey? And ultimately her viewers.

I am in the process of reading the book. And frankly, I don't give a rats ass about whether its "true" or not. Any book or movie that comes out that is "based on a true story" I take with a grain of salt. The book, to me, is good. Its not something I would normally read, and reminds me, albeit a bit too much, of high school English class reading Hemingway. That aside, its enjoyable to me.

BUT - when I started to think about what we, as a society, put stock in, I realized that we, as a society, really put a lot of stock in entertainment. We fall victim to believing just about everything we read or hear. Reality TV is a good example. "Real" ity? Really? I think not. My reality has nothing to do with Donald Trump, the jungle, or being the next top model. A CNN writer quoted it the best and I think it explains exactly how I feel when it comes to how our world is today.

"The question is not why the writer would inflate his exploits so, but why readers went for it all so eagerly. The simplest answer, I suppose, is that we like drama. White hat, black hat, beginning, middle, end. This stands in opposition to real life, which is mostly middle, with no hats at all. It's sometimes hard to come to terms with that, which is why my uncle Charlie used to replay his time in the South Pacific during World War II over and over again. His life had to be more than the room in the nursing home, and once it had been, much more." - Anna Quindlen

The Nature of Freedom

As part of my continued Project Management learning (or should I say obsession), I've been reading the Daily Drucker. The Daily Drucker is a 365 days of insights and motivations for getting the right things done. Written by Peter F. Drucker who is a leader in the Management and leadership arena.

Feb 13th excerpt (don't ask why its the 27th and I'm reading the 13th...I'm not so "daily" about it.)

"Freedom is not fun. It is not the same as individual happiness, not is it security or peace or progress. It is a responsible choice. Freedom is not so much a right as a duty. Real freedom is not freedom from something; that would be license. It is freedom to choose between doing or not doing something, to act one way or another, to hold one believe or the opposite. It is not "fun" but the heaviest burden laid on man: to decide his own individual conduct as well as the conduct of society and to be responsible for both decisions. "

How I ended up on a bar room floor. By Jenn Wraspir

Its true, I spent about a millisecond on the floor of the Tractor Tavern last night.As many of you know, I go see the Dudley Manlove Quartet as often as my heart can manage. Well, DMQ has an alter ego band called the Sh*tKickers. The Sh*tKickers perform music with a country flavor to it. I won't say they do just country, because they did some Tom Petty and some REO last night. Now granted they added the country twang to it...but still. Ever heard "Take it on the run", by REO with a country slant...scary really.

Anyhow, myself, my friend Shannon and a few other random folks from my Catalysis days all went to see the Sh*tKickers. Holy Moly did I have fun. These two guys who joined us, Jibran and Michael (and a couple of Michael friends), were by far some of most fun people to hang out with and party. Aside from them being full on partiers...which means they're young and can still drink and get to work the next day, they just seem so real and so down to earth.

Before I get to how I ended up on the floor, let me first say, I got to spend quality time with none other than Craig Corbin from the DMQ. He's also the guitar player in the Sh*tKickers. (So the only difference between DMQ and the Sh*tKickers is the saxiphonist and keyboard player do not play in the Sh*tKickers. In fact, the Sh*tKickers are actually a quartet...which means, should they be called the Dudley Manlove QUARTET? Its all so confusing.)

As Shan and I were waiting for the doors to open, this guy in a cowboy hat comes up. I, being the DMQ fan that I am, recognize him immediately as Craig Corbin. Shan, hadn't a clue who he was and said the doors weren't open yet. I piped up that he was with the band so they'll let him in. As it turned out they let us all in. Shan and I sat at a table with our pitcher of Stella and began chitter chatting like two school girls at lunch break.

Craig walked over and said that well he was a man without a band. Shan and I had actually seen the other members earlier that night and pointed Craig in the direction they had gone. Instead, Craig sat and chit chatted with us for about 15 minutes. It was great to meet another band member and see just how human they are. We found out about their day jobs (Paul Jensen is in IT), what Craig likes and doesn't like (which is nothing) about the band, we talked about the new keyboard player they brought in a year or so ago and how he fit in with the guys (see the guys have known each other for years and they were concerned how an outsider would fit in. As it turned out they got super lucky with a guy who fit in all too well). It was great. I was in 7th heaven and secretly hoping the other guys would come in and come over to talk with us. But alas, I had to admire Paul from afar. (I'm still thanking GOD Shannon didn't tell Craig I was in love with the lead singer Paul Jensen). Though Jibran later than night yelled, "I love you Paul." at the top of his lungs.

So how did I end up on the floor? Jibran, being a musician himself, thought the Sh*tKickers were a riot. He knows NO country songs and so kept wondering around the dance floor "pretending" to do the two step with his hands on his pretend mega belt buckle. At one point, he decided that I needed to dance with him. So round and round we went. He had some "routine" that appeared to be safe, so I bought into him leading and me "following" - which anyone who knows me surely knows I am not a good follower...I'm a leader. But somehow, in the spinning, I zigged when I should have zagged, my shoes slipped on the floor and down I went. But I hopped up with spirit and said with zeal, "I'm okay!" Poor Jibran he felt kinda bad...but the truth was I may have stayed standing had my shoes not slipped. Either way, it makes for a great story.

And now here I am today, coffee in hand, eye lids that are so heavy I may need toothpicks to hold them up (I got home at O dark thirty and had to be AT work for a 7AM con call...) And in case anyone's wonder, I am apparently a cheap date (you'd think I'd have more dates...)...three beers all night and my head is POUNDING.... could be the loud music and fall to the concrete floor...but I'm blaming the beer.

By far one of the most fun and funnest evenings I've had in a long time...And on a school night. Shhhh! Don't tell my mom.

New adventures & old friends

Yesterday my new group all met to plan the launch activities for our new product that's due out later this year. I, with my project management background, got to facilitate and manage the meeting. I was nervous about this position since I'd be effectively running a meeting of people who have all been here a lot longer, and know a lot more than me. So instead of worrying about it and freaking myself out, I did what any good Project Manager would do. I built a plan. I had my plan, my agenda, my isle for notes, and my timer. I was good to go. It was amazing, this team functions like a well oiled machine. I think my planning/organizational skills have less to do with the amount of work we got done than this team just being full of people who work well together. Finally at the end of the meeting during my summary of action items, I whipped out a Responsibility Matrix. I expected to hear gasped throughout and comments like, "You mean we have to assign someone to these activities". But no, they all hopped up and put there names down next to tasks and that was that. In the course of 5 hours, I got to do a communication plan, a responsibility matrix, an issues log, risk analysis, and a charter. I secretly sat in my car after the meeting and was a bit stunned that I had pulled it off. I thought, "Maybe I actually know this stuff and its not just a mirage." That's a joke. Laugh. OF COURSE I KNOW THIS STUFF. I studied 120 hours and passed the PMP exam. But I also think I'm spoiled with an exceptional set of team members. In fact, if anyone's ever been in a planning meeting you are pretty much guaranteed to go over time by hours. We were done 20 minutes early. I tapped my watch just to make sure it was working.

Oh and a big lesson learned...no wifi in the room. No one had access to their email while the meeting was going on...so we got a lot more accomplished.

Now on to old friends. Each day at Microsoft is a bit surreal to me. I remember so many things about this company. Not all of them are good and pleasant memories. But of the memories I cherish the most, are those of old friends. I've met many people here. Some I talk to on regular basis, some I don't see for months/years. Today, I ran into one of those "years" persons. Her smile is what made me look twice at her. I knew I recognized that laugh and that smile. She recognized me immediately too and ran up to greet me with a big hug. She's one of those wonderful spirits that just makes you happy when you're around her. Anyhow, we talked about our new roles, and how things are now. But we had to go down memory lane a bit too. We have mutual friends that we may not see as much as planned, but we got all caught up with them and ourselves in the span of 10 minutes.

While my original departure from Microsoft wasn't exactly a pleasant one (I've learned so much since then and because of that experience), but what will never be clouded are my memories of the good times and the good people.

Dinosaurs. Fact or Fiction?

Now that I live in the Yukon...okay its only Lynnwood, I spend more time commuting then previous living arrangements. My commute allows for ample time to listen to the radio morning shows. This morning I was a bit amused by one of the morning shows. Apparently the Seattle Mariners have this new DH (designated hitter for you non baseball types), Carl Everett. Carl apparently does not believe that dinosaurs were real. That they aren't represented in the Bible, therefore could not have existed.

I know y'all are thinking the same thing I am, then, um, how is it we've found bones...and then this other thing called fossil fuel? So the morning show had people calling in with their thoughts. One woman called in to defend Carl Everett and emphatically said that God PUT the bones there for use to find. After all, Noah, she says, didn't bring Dinosaurs on the arc...

My initial reaction was what a nutcase. And then I thought about that theory and whether a God I see as super intelligent would "put" bones around the world for us to find and later call dinosaurs. I decided that wasn't a probability. Instead, I believe that the dinosaurs were around LONG before Noah and his arc (which I'm sure Noah really lived in the Seattle area). After all, couldn't the dinosaurs have been extinct before the whole arc thing?

And then I remembered a contemporary religion class that FORCED us to think outside the box (of course this class was in high school which was LONG before the phrase "outside the box existed"). Our instructor asked all of us to think around the religions instead of just taking them as fact. As the class progressed we learned that, historically, we only have proof of some items from the arc forward. Which meant that the first part of the Bible could be, in fact, just stories - folklore. A way to teach good morale behavior. And so that's what I have chosen to believe.

In a nut shell: the dinosaurs existed. Noah didn't take them on an arc because they were already dead. And the Bible is a reference book. Which, I am sure is blasphemous to even say.

Horror-Scopes and other scary things

My horror-scope for today is shockingly close to what's been on my mind for the past few days.

"How strong is your connection to your inner truth? It's time to ask yourself what really matters in your life, and push everything else to the side. Live intensely and beautifully. Don't waste any time."
As some of you may know, and new readers now will know, I don't really do New Year's Resolutions. I do New Year Themes. In the past, I think, I did pretty well doing things that helped better me in some way, shape or form. For example, I did "Out with the old. In the with New" one year. Then I did, "Celebrate Singleness." etc. My plan has always been to carry that theme with me through my journey during the year. Doing things that, seeing things, experiencing things that turn toward that theme.

This year, I'm struggling. Its almost the end of February and I don't have a theme. I was going to do, "Cha cha... changes" since I was moving and starting a new job. But I couldn't think of anything past that to change...at least anything I want to admit I want to change. Because that roller coaster ride I'm not quite ready to take. So I'll keep pretending that I'm ...cough cough...choke choke...perfect.

So now here I am. Stuck with what to do. I've been doing a lot of thinking about taking Risks and how to maximize my risk taking and minimizing the potential pain that might be the fall out from the risk. For example, how much pain will happen if I ask some guy out for drinks? Is the risk of him saying no worth the pain that no might cause? In my heart its a resounding YES. But oddly my mind stops me and forces me to think about just how painful rejection can be. And do I want to face that music again?

But I digress (which seems to be a habit of mine of late). Last year our family, and the world, lost an amazing person to cancer. My cousin Cindy, at the young age of 36 (I think), was someone who, even though she was dealt a rotten hand in life by having to deal with cancer for nearly all her adult life, truly personified the notion of "Live intensely and beautifully." and didn't waste any time. When I think about Cindy and what she fought I get a bit choked up. But mostly with happiness and pride when I think about how strong she was and how much she really fought to live. So my horror scope got me thinking why do near death experiences force us to really live? Why can't we find enough worth "really living" in our day to day lives?

So my thought was, maybe my theme could be "Live intensely and beautifully. Don't waste any time." Thoughts? Suggestions? Can you help a sista out?

...and God said, "Let there be furniture..."

And lots of it. I got my new furniture today. So very excited to see it delivered. The thing is the furniture looked smaller in the show room then it does in my living room. But I love it. It just happens to look like a couch and two chairs blew up in my living room.

What is this world coming to?

Does anyone else think this rioting over the cartoonist drawings of Muhammad is getting out of hand? I just, for the life of me, can't understand that kind of ... of... passion? hatred? Religions conviction? I'm not really sure what to call it. What I do know, or think, is that Islam as a religion, on a whole is peaceful. I'm not sure - now I don't practice Islam so this is stated with a Christian background - that Muhammad would agree to killing hundreds/thousands of people in his name. Just like I'm not sure God approved of the Crusades. At any rate, I just don't understand the whole point.

Clearly the West, who believes in freedom of speech, doesn't understand the Arab world, who have never experienced anything even remotely like our level of democracy. And for men (I say men because you rarely see a woman out there protesting) who really don't have any other avenue for expression in these countries...maybe protesting verbally for a religion is the only channel they have for expressing themselves?

I have an acquaintance that I work with that does practice Islam and was telling us that he is sad for his religion. He sees what's going on and while he understands where they might be coming from, he can't help but wonder if they are just looking for a reason to protest. That years of rage have been bottled up and finally they have a reason to let it loose.

The latest thing is Pakistani cleric has put a price on the cartoonist head of $1M if anyone kills him. Would Muhammad really approve of that? I just don't think Muhammad, or any other form of him, would approve of killing another person in their name. I may be wrong, but it seems to go against what religion to me is about, peace with one another.

Its Cooooolllldddd out there campers!

Again, I find myself in need to write about the weather. Mostly because there's not a whole lot more interesting going on in my life and mostly because Seattle weather is just bizarre.

Last weekend we were greeted with BEAUTIFUL spring weather. Temperatures were in the mid 50's and upper 50's on some days. Which I know for you California / Arizona types is still cold. But for us Seattle types, that's shorts weather man.

Then Tuesday morning we were greeted by SNOW. Yes, you read that correctly SNOW. Now granted I now live in the "convergent" zone, or I think I do, and because we got snow doesn't mean anywhere else got snow. Regardless, I had about an inch of snow on the ground. Snow. That's when I have to remind myself, we are still in February. And in our neck of the woods, February could mean snow. Of course it could be rain, sun, sleet, hail, or just cloudy too. You never really know here. They say if you don't like the weather wait 5 minutes and it'll change.

If you've not been to the Seattle area then you wouldn't know this, but we're surrounded by mountains. To the East we have the Cascades and to the west we have the Olympics. On a beautiful sunny day, like today, its usually butt cold and beautiful because the mountains are all visible and are displaying their beautiful snow covered selves. Man its breath taking.

This weekend however, we are being hit with an "artic blast", which is news coverage code for "its going to get freakin' cold out there." They are saying that our lows are going to be in the single digits. Like around 8 degrees. EIGHT degrees? When did I move to North Dakota...of course in ND that's a warm front. And there's another possibility of Snow.

I'm getting cold just thinking about all this. Here's a photo that a friend sent me yesterday of the snow.

Happy Hallmark Day!

At least that's what it is to me. I've never really been a fan of Valentine's Day. It stems from painful childhood memories of not getting valentines, to being a dating adult and not having that "valentine" person, or having a "valentine" person who was lame. But either way, its really a holiday that's promoted by the card companies. And is designed to set me up for a miserable few days. I mean really guys, if you screw up valentine's day...your month of February is probably shot.

Its not a very fair holiday. I know several men who are scared silly because they are sure that what they "choose" to do for the significant other on valentine's day, won't be exactly right. And what if she gets mad? Of course, I also know the women who promote this fear in men. Come on...you know the type of women I'm talking about. The type that give ALL women a bad name. They are high maintenance women who REQUIRE just the right amount of romance and giving on holidays like valentine's day or birthdays etc. Instead of just adoring whom ever they are with, they make it a game.

I think men are really in a no-win situation here. You're going to be damned if you do and VERY likely damned if you don't. So do, but do so with caution. A few notes of wisdom about valentine's day gifts.

1. Stuffed animals are a no no. We're adults.
2. jewelry is generally good. Though you do run the risk of getting something "too small" or not right. Be sure to get a gift receipt if she wants to exchange it.
3. Lingerie - its really not for us women right? Its really for the man. Which may come across as selfish. And besides, why spend all that $$ on something that isn't worn, presumably, too long?
4. Candy - This one is dangerous too. I don't know very many women who aren't watching their figure...
5. Dinner out is good. A well planned, well thought out evening of dining and relaxation is good. Especially for the mom's of the world. Leave the kids at home. Treat her to a special evening.
6. Muscle Cars, stereo equipment (unless its an iPod), appliances of any kind, probably not a good thing. Basically anything that can be construed as something YOU want instead of something she wants, probably not a good thing. And anything that means she'll have to use it to clean, also not a good thing.

So as I said before, guys, you're really in a tight spot. May the force be with you.

PS - Star wars movies, probably not a good thing. Taking her to see a chick flick may win you points.

Heaven, I'm in heaven...Sing with me

Today I had to commute by myself into work. It took me an hour. But I didn't mind. I had my coffee, I had my radio and I had a FORD SALEEN MUSTANG 2006 in front of me. I think I drooled a little....

Many of you may know that I have a secret love affair with Mustangs. I had a 2000 Mustang coup V6...I loved that car. But some young guy rear ended me and they totaled my Mustang. I swear I cried.

"There's always next year..."

That seems to be the phrase of the day. As many of you are aware, Seattle lost Superbowl XL yesterday. The officiating of the game was a disgrace considering the refs for this game were the ones who's performance during the season won their trip to the Superbowl. And yes, I've heard many - a- Seahawk fans exclaim that we would have won if the officials hadn't screwed us. I'm not of the belief that it was all the officiating. The Seahawks made their fair mistakes.

BUT, what I am overly impressed with is how the Seahawk players are handling this. There hasn't been an utterance of blame toward the officials. The players are all taking the high road...and for that, I think they are the real winners.

Project Management & State of the Union Address

I wonder if I'm the only one who found an excellent quote that can be used toward project management in the State of the Union address by our President. I, admittedly, did not watch the SOU last night. I, personally, don't like watching the President speak...he seems like a puppet on a string to me and it drives me nutty. So, I prefer to read the SOU for my own information.

Being from the WEST side of the State of Washington, I lean more toward Democrat (to my parents dismay I suspect). We have a lot of liberals and activists in this state. But whether you agree with the current presidential party or not, I do think its important to listen and hear what he's saying. It is an obligation, I think, of each American citizen to know what's going on in their government. Like it or not. Education and knowledge is key.

And of course, the Democratic Response.

Back to the Project Management quote. The President was rattling on about something and he said, "Hindsight alone is not wisdom. And second guessing is not a strategy." Project Management is about planning and being organized and prepared throughout the project. And this quote brings it all home to me.