Better than Sex...

Day 3 of online dating experience.

Number of "smiles" received: 5
Number of "smiles" sent: 427 (just kidding. - huh? You believed that?) 23
Number of emails from smiles sent: 4
Number of potential candidates: BIG FAT ZERO

What is with men? I mean really. The things that they 1) put in their profile and 2) the photos they put online. I ran into several profiles in which the guy likes to "cuddle". Yah right! Mama's boy! Though perhaps their definition of "cuddling" means sex. Either way...I'll pass. And the photos....my god. Why would you EVER put a photo on an online dating service in which you were standing with a female...and not explain who she is?

I found myself sending "smiles" to guys who's profiles were, or seemed, very straight forward. Where I felt they were being realistic and honest.

So stay tuned, I'm trying to have an open mind about this experience...but the cynical side tends to rule out way too much.

Riddle me this! Riddle me that!

What? What possessessesssesss me to do some of the things I do? I'll tell ya what. The guild from mom. She is the QUEEN of guilt trips. I wonder, when you become a mom, do they take you aside and train you in the art of guilt? They must. I, without having born a child, can't guilt people into anything. But a mother and her guilt trip....

My mother, bless her, has been on my case about "getting out there". I've been fighting it kicking and screaming the whole way. I don't wanna. You can't make me. All that is out there is pain, and heart ache...nothing I'm interested in.

But what if? What if there's more? So I joined... gulp.... wipe sweat from the brow....dry cough...another online dating service. Oh god...save me now!

So in spending a few hours trolling through the "want ads" online I just gotta ask, "What the hell?" The things guys are asking for. PULEEZE! I've "pinged" a few hundred (just kidding) a few...and we'll see. I'm not holding my breath. But a few dates could be fun...and could be blog worthy and entertaining.

See, this is really all about finding new stuff to blog about!

TGIF!

Who doesn't like Fridays? It's the one time you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even knowing full well you'll take your laptop home and attempt to get your Inbox down to at least 100. But still, I'd rather do that in front of the tube, then sitting at my desk.

I started thinking about Fridays and TGIF's today and was immediately taken back to a much happier time in my life. Young and carefree. Friday's were nights to go out. Let loose. Stay up late. Drink. All the celebrate the fact that we could. No one told us then, or if they did we didn't listen, that a day would come when Friday's meant a chance to unwind and get to bed at a decent hour. Who can stay up past 10 on a Friday now? All of you who are under 30 reading this, I warn you...your time is coming. Don't believe me now, because I know you won't. But mark my words on the first Friday day after your 30th birthday, you'll be in bed by 9pm.

When I was growing up my parents had a very strong net of family friends who celebrated Fridays. We did TGIFs at someones house almost every Friday. Frequently it was at our house. Mom and Dad would plan out an excellent meal which usually included a BBQ meat of some type. All their friends would come over, and we'd all have a grand time. Being a teenager, and later a college student, I loved these dinners. While most teenagers would rather be locked in their room plotting their next rebellious action, I loved being out with my parents and their friends. I believe that one of the reasons I love to entertain like I do is because of those TGIFs. What's for dinner tonight Mom? Its Friday!

I've managed to have allergies this year. Last year I had none. This year the pollen count is so high that our cars are covered with the yellow-ish green demons. I just think about it and sneeze. I'm stuffed up, and miserable. But Oprah saved me last night. Flipping through the channels she was showing the use of a Neti Pot. Apparently used to clear out sinus' in a very not obtrusive and healthy way. With warm salt water, you tilt your head and pour the water into a nostril. It transfers through the nasal passage and out the other nostril. It was like stupid human tricks for myself. But man did it ever clean out my nose. In a good way, and not in a gross way. I sorta thought it would feel like drowning, but it didn't. It was just a cleansing that was simple.

So happy sniffling and happy TGIF!

I was kissin' Valentino By a crystal blue Italian stream

Sunday, already. And tomorrow is Monday. Ick! Its not that I don't like work, because I do. Really. It's just that Sunday evening are such a downer to me. It gives me a chance to reflect on what I didn't do this weekend and vow to do something next weekend. Ugh.

Though Friday I had a date. What are you thinking? Not with anyone I actually talk to...no with the DMQ boys. This show the Sh*tKickers opened for the Dudley boys. (Secret: They're the same band minus the keyboardist - who they actually had play with the SK this time so that throws off the difference.) My god they rocked the place. The crowd was amazing. A lot of Dudley fans in the crowd. How do I know? Because there are "dudley lyrics" for some songs and only TRUE Dudley fans know what those are. And this crown knew! I was getting my groove on with every song. I think I must have worked off at least 10000000 calories.

I do have to say though that I got felt up more Friday night then I have in years. The place was packed (and I have a slight anxiety about crowds so it was hard for me to sit still) and we happened to be in direct path to the bathroom. People squeezing past us all night...it got a bit personal. Not that for some of the passer-byer's did I mind...but amazon girl with the GYnormous - um - well boobs...I did sorta mind my face meeting her girls. Not a pretty sight. I'm scarred for life.

I spent a good part of yesterday afternoon at HotWire cafe. I had invited the crush (er ah X crush) to join me, but he didn't. And somehow I knew he wouldn't. But I did meet some friends of another friend there to discuss the PMP exam (because I AM a kick ass PM...). That was fun, but I was enjoying the peace and quiet of the coffee shop before they came. The quiet pounding of the shots being pulled, the screaming child next to me who should be stapled to the roof with a sock in his mouth, the squeely teenage girls discussing ever so important issues like lip gloss, and of course the hum of the computers and the beat of the bad music. Ahhh...what a day.

I am Pookie. Hear me Roar!

The Woman is, IN FACT, crazy. I can prove it. Anyone who laughs uncontrollably over things I don't see as amusing, surely she's crazy.

Case in point.

Last night, the Woman came home (late I might add), rushed in and dropped what appeared to me to be a threat to my danger. Being of the cautious nature (the Woman insists on saying I'm "skittish". Whatever!), I darted off in a safe direction. Unfortunately, my cat instinct miscalculated the direction and distance. My head knocked solidly into sliding glass door. The Woman felt the need to laugh at my miscalculation. I, for one, and my noggin' didn't find it all that amusing.

She also has this annoying habit of laughing at me (I know she's not laughing with me, because I am not laughing) when I find it necessary to stretch my legs and chase my tail. My tail, while attached, does have its own mind and I must put it straight occasionally. At time, I have been known to gracefully fall off the chair or bed in the process. It's all planned. Really it is.

The Woman appears to be going out again tonight. She really needs to stay home and pay attention to me. She neglects me so. For example, this morning she was tip tapping on this lap machine she has while talking on the phone. I kept leaping up on her lap machine announcing myself so as to not frighten her. She would "shoosh" me and put me down. How rude is that? She apparently is going to see some band that apparently is more entertaining than me. I must escape this fortress to investigate this Dudley Manlove situation. Until then, I'll stay held up here politely grooming myself and depositing fur in all necessary locations.

Stupid Brother In Law

My brother in law....what can I say? He's a nut ball. And apparently he's a pilot. A couple of months ago I find out that my brother in law has decided to become a pilot and bought a plane for just that. I am not a huge fan of small planes and joked with him, my sister, and my mom about SBIL (Stupid Brother In law) crashing it. It was a joke, really. Nothing more.

But today, he did just that.

Thankfully, he and his passenger are just fine, minor cuts and bruises. It could have been worse.

The irony to me is that he is a fire man. He does dangerous stuff every day. Like going to the aid of an elderly woman who's fallen and can't get up.

PS
Please don't take any my comments as insensitive. Dan's a smartass and will take it all in stride. I just won't be flying with him anytime soon.

Uesless Pieces of Knowledge

What a day! What a week! I feel so disconnected with my blog these days and I’m never really sure what to write. It’s not like my life is a hot bed of entertainment. I suppose to some I live in the lap of luxury and intrigue (I’d like to meet those people who think that), but really my life has become quite dull. I know I have to spice it up some, but frankly I’ve been lacking the charge to do so.

Follow my favorite Saint’s lead today, I’m just going to give you a random list of thoughts.

Who's reading your blog?
Occasionally I check out on my stat counter how people are finding my blog. Here is a list of search results.
· picture of kinicky from grease
· places to get a propane tank filled around redmond, wa
· gold lamey
· shit on rubber boots
· billyray cyrus on prime time magazine
· what happens when your hemmoraging?
· 200mg of ibuprofen too much for baby?
· seattle bus triple door jealous
· she farted on my leg
I really can’t even explain some of these. But who searches on “she farted on my leg” and why did my blog come up in that search.

Dogs! Pets! You gotta love them.
Co-Worker (QueenID) sent me this URL. I love stupid animal photos or skits. One of my favorite shows is Animals Funniest Animals. Wait. That’s not right…what the hell is it called? Oh Planet’s Funniest Animals, that’s it. I like them because generally speaking (generally speaking, I speak generally) animals are “innocent” in what they do.

STC
I got talked into going to our local STC chapter meeting. Little did I know the crush would be there. Oh, oops. I meant Xcrush. I will never understand boys/men (or fashion for that matter). I start to ignore him and he starts actually paying more attention. The amazing part to me is now, around him, I don’t feel all giddy and school girl like. I actually feel intelligent and –dare I say – normal. Which I take as a good sign, I mean that either a) means I’ve matured or b) I’ve moved on. But have I?

DMQ
Tomorrow night is another round of DMQ. The boys are going to be recording a CD in May. I, being their Biggest Fan Ever (and I don’t me by size – though I’m likely close) started a post on their website about a sneak peek into the songs they plan on recording. They in turn asked me what I had in mind. And then their massive email out to the DMQ fan club basically directed people to my post to add their 2cents. Really no big deal, but it was worth mentioning as random and a piece of useless information.

Starbucks
I am a fan! Don’t really need to explain that. Many of you are right there with me and you know who you are. That being said, I have an issue with a local Starbucks. I’ve boycotted it thinking my $2 is a day is going to sink them. A girl can dream, can’t she? Anyhow, I was patiently waiting in line to order my drink swiftly and move on. Ahead of me: two girls. Behind me: Rat boy! I would say about 12 years of age. Cute kid…but not that cute. Barista #1 starts to take my order. RatBoy steps in front and says he’s in an “awful” hurry. (Yes, he used the word awful). Barista #2 (the shot puller) starts to take down his order. Barista #1 looks on blankly as if the air from her blond head has not disappeared. I, being the cordial pleasant self I am before my coffee basically raises a point here with, “Um I was in line first.” Blank Barista says, “Oh but he’s so cute we can just let him slide by.”

Imagine a facial expression of me dropping my mouth in amazement

You.

Have.

Got.

To.

Be.

Kidding.

Me.

So, I let them have it. Politely and all. I pointed out to Blank Barista and the Shot puller that really what they’ve just taught this young juvenile delinquent is that “cuteness’ gets you everywhere. I then added, that being of the “cute” category myself, I’ve found it almost detrimental in a way.

Whatever! Left Starbucks and went to another one across the street. (What? I live in Seattle. They’re everywhere. That is except when you REALLY want a coffee. Then you can’t find one.)

Let’s see what other types of randomness can I pass on….hmmmmm

Oh right.

Mustang his 10,000 miles. Unbelievable to me.

Oh and a special shout out to Freak Magnet who has been entertaining me all week with “photos’ and “thoughts.” You really are a crack up! I can’t post some of these photos so use your imagination.

And finally, this sent to me from a UK compadre.

Remember your mother telling you, "Never accept candy from a stranger”?

Here's why!

While you were Sleeping(less)...in Seattle

One of my ALL time favorite movies is While You Were Sleeping, followed VERY close by Sleepless in Seattle (which has less to do with this blog, other than useless Jenn information. But you never know when, maybe at a party, you'll need to pull out useless Jenn information).

I digress.

Being that I am now a FTE at CM, I had to fill out all the paperwork. Which included bringing in my passport for "verification" that I'm a US citizen. As if just by my looks they can't tell! Anyhow, every time I pull my passport out or see it in the file, I long to travel. This particular passport is boring...B-O-R-I-N-G! It has but one faint stamp of Mexico in it. My other passport was running out of places to stamp... oh I miss those days. Traveling on mom and dad's dime.

Longing to take a trip, I decided to map out an adventure yesterday. One of my favorite lines in While You Were Sleeping is when Sandra Bullock's character shows Jack her passport. He asks why she carries it with her, and her response is "You never know when you'll need to leave the US immediately." Which is how I decided that I needed to plan an "escape route" out of the US. Just in case! You never know! I, for one, think everyone should have a passport, regardless of ever traveling out of the US. They're fun. And they're blue. Which is not green, and green passports reminds me of my friend MikeG who had a green passport and who let me follow him into Saudi customs and who told the Saudi "official" I was with him which meant because of MG's green passport my suitcase did not get man-handled - thanks Mike.

Back to your previously scheduled show....

Where would I go? Immediately, my mind drifts to happier times in Italy. I'd definitely go to Italy (oh and for the record, I have endless funds for this trip). On my way to Italy though, I'd stop in NY for some purse shopping. Then I'd fly into Southern Italy and hire a driver to take me where ever my little heart desired in southern Italy: Rome, Pompei, Almalfi Coast, Capri. Then we'd travel up the boot stopping at Sorrento, Florence, and all the little wine places we could. Finally ending in Northern Italy, Milan, oh Milan...how I loved that city.

***********Topic Switch ***************
I am now a HUGE fan of Supernatural, the TV show. LOVE that show. I've been catching up on the past two seasons, and thanks to f*cking comcast (or compost as my spell checker suggested) have now missed most of the third season...don't get me started. But in yesterday's shows I watched the best line ever...

Two supposed "ghost" chasers "help" the Winchester boys find a ghost. Both are nerds through and through....or dorks as I like to call them. The scene is they are trying to figure out what their next step would be to capture this ghost on film.


Dork #1: "WWBD?"
Dork #2: " What WOULD Buffy Do?"

I'm going to use that in all my major project mgmt decisions today.

Scenario #1: Can't hit a deadline
Answer: WWBD

Scenario #2: No resource to cover the course
Answer: WWBD

Scenario #3: Where to escape to in case I need to get out of the US ASAP
Answer: WWBD

Mr. AttentionGrabber gets caught

Pookie moment #1034

House Rule #1: NEVER EVER GET UP ON THE COUNTER TOP! EVER!

I get home tonight from a dinner out with the girls. This will be the last dinner out for some time as I’m about to be poor for the month of May. (please make all charitable donations out to me). So in an attempt to save $$, I decided that I’d bring my lunch this entire week, which meant buying tuna. I bought two cans of tuna and opened them to drain them and put them in a Tupperware to take to work tomorrow (all other sandwich makings are at work. I would have had tuna for lunch today, but no can opener). Any how, I digress.

I got home, tired, ready to just drop into bed, but am enthusiastically greeted at the door by Mr. AttentionGrabber. Talking to him, or rather acknowledging him, I remembered my promise to myself. Open the cans of tuna. Drained them. Dropped one can on the floor so Pookie could lick out whatever remained. Finished up and settled into my couch to check my email. What? don't you check your email regardless of how tired?

About a minute went by and I realized I hadn’t seen Mr. AttentionGrabber all day and I needed some Pookie time. I should tell you that I have a cat who actually comes when you call it, and who makes noise when you call his name and/or if you make a whispy sound with your mouth - kinda like a snack with a lisp.... So I said, “Pookie?” and made the little pookie sound that gets him coming. I hear him. Then see him ON THE COUNTER!

Now here’s the funny part. He knows he’s not supposed to be on the counter, that’s a no no! And it's covered in How to be a Cat in this house 101. He passed the test! But,no, how dumb of a cat are you if you know you’re not supposed to be on the counter, and yet you announce that you are the moment I call you? I mean really?

Realizing that he was on the counter, I glance over and through the darkened kitchen, I see two lit up eyes and a pink mouth as I hear him sing, “Meow” (translation: DOH! She caught me on the counter.)

I think he thinks because he's aging he can get away with this stuff. I'm "sure" he's never been on the counter before. Those black hairs I find on the counter surely drift up there all by themselves.

Hoppity Hop Hop! Hoppity Hop Hop!

The Easter bunny sorta showed up last night. I had my annual Easter Egg decorating gathering. All of the usual suspects who have attended these in the past were other wise engaged. So I brought in some rookies. But they came to the game prepared for a win. Galpal Margo, GalPal Claudia and xcrush all showed up. We had an absolute blast. I've not laughed this hard in a long time. The eggs, turned out, well, some were ugly, some were pretty, and some were just eggs.


The evening started out with an amazing meal created by yours truly. I love cooking as many of you know, and every once in a while a recipe comes along that knocks my socks off. This was one of those recipes. Check out my other blog for the recipe to Coq Au Vin Blanc. Along with the meal, we drank wine. Lots and lots of wine. Notice the two bottles on the table with us, that was two of the four we drank. Also no the wine glass on the far corner between Claudia and Margo. That glass ended up on the floor. Good times.

(PS - the pink on the table is NOT a table cloth. It's a towel that mom and dad left here. I'd never be THAT tacky to have a pink flowery table cloth. Give me about 10 years and THEN I'll be that tacky. )


Claudia got a hold of my camera at one point of the evening and couldn't quite get it to work. She, in fact, video taped a portion of the evening that made me laugh my butt off. Unfortunately I'm having technical issues and can't get it added to the blog. And quite frankly it may only be amusing to those of us who were there. You know how that works.


It was a fun fun evening and exactly what the doctor ordered. Good food, good drinks (with the exception of one bottle of wine that, well stunk), good friends, and good fun.

Interesting point, the xcrush was almost irresistible. I mentioned I haven't been to San Fran and suddenly we had a plan to go. Now granted we have to wait until after May because May will be my poor month. Which all three of them have made plans to feed me in May since I won't have any moola. And of course, who knows if we'll ever really go, but it was fun to at least discuss the possibility.

Which got me to thinking about doing all these things I've not done and want to. Simple little day trips around the Seattle area that help get me out of the apt and may, just may push me to do more of my photography.

Anyhow, Happy Easter everyone! Here's hoping the Easter bunny brought you lots of yummy treats. I gotta go make me an egg salad sammy.

Spring has sprung...hip hip hooray!

Yes, my lovelies, spring is most certainly in the air today in the great northwest area. It got to 77 degrees yesterday...SEVENTY SEVEN PEOPLE! And today it should be close to that if not higher...HIGHER. I'm telling you, nice sunny weather in Seattle beats any blues away.

AND

I have today off. What could be better?

Thank you for all of you who gave me comments during my pity party. It was only temporarily. That's what I've always loved about me, I get over the ick's pretty quick. (Secretly, the sun does help. And a good bottle of wine.)

I've had an enormously busy, emotional week and was so looking forward to sleeping in today. The creeps who decided to hack up the drive way right by me had other plans. They and their jack hammer were up at 7. Bastards!

I should mention, that part of why I'm feeling much better is new galpal Margo. I met her through friends, Mark & Vanessa. I believe people do come into your life for a reason. Margo's reason, to send me goofy ass emails on a daily basis. Here are some of her email excerpts I personally think she should start her own blog, she's quite a writer.

The Best of Margo

"So needless to say, ramble on I will, I take great pride in making sure everyone else who arrives in the office for the day KNOWS that Mike's the reason none of us can go to iTunes anymore. Not that any of us ever did in the first place. I've never seen anyone here with an iPod now that I think about it.And so, of course, the other BIG joke is my iPod. It's actually a GE Model 7-4685A Walnut grain finish on polystyrene brick of a clock radio. I remember picking it out with my Dad when it was the hottest thing out there: the blue (not green) digital clock radio with the ability to snooze, set two alarm times (not concurrently, mind you technology wasn't that savvy yet), and most importantly: move the time settings forward or reverse. At this point, the clock doesn't work, and neither do any of the buttons - the on off switch is accomplished by plugging it in or unplugging it from the electrical outlet. And the tuner is the kind where you rotate the dial to find a station. That's MY iPod. And I love it. Everyone else laughs at me."

"Of the many friends from my past who got to know me, most seem to have learned that I was a good gift giver - so many of them worked that angle until they got all they could get, and then they disappeared. You learn with time, I guess, who wants your friendship and who wants the stuff you'll give them. I think sometimes that's where the marrieds and the singles part ways. Somehow they forget how to give to each other because in some relationships it's more about the accumulation of what you can get, vs what you give. Marrieds migrate to giving to each other, and forget their singles."

Another one bites the dust...

While immensely happy, I have to admit I am also sad. Another friend has gotten engaged. For his happiness, I am happy. For me, I am sad. It's another reminder that I am single...still. This one is especially hard, because I swear I'm still dealing with him dating someone. Once he started dating, I felt like I lost a friend. And in a lot of ways I did. Now that he's engaged, I feel that the loss is permanent. I understand that life works this way. I understand that single people become couples and then only do couples things and thus forget about any of their single friends. I've experienced this almost my entire adult life. Friends have been lost on the marriage trail. For some reason, they rarely look back to see the dropped friends in their wake.

When I was little, I dreamt of being married and settled down with kids by 25. Once I hit 25 I realized that perhaps that wasn't realistic. That maybe 30 was more realistic. Now, pushing 40, I'm starting to wonder if I'm defective in some way and men can see that and press one past me. (Secretly I know I'm not defective, but sit for a while during my pity party. Its been a couple of months since my last one. So I deserve this. )

You might want to get a snack though.

I tell myself that if its in the cards, it'll be. But harbor the fear of "what if it isn't in the cards?" Am I really okay with single-hood? Do I really want to be the old lady on the corner with a thousand cats who's house smells of memories, of better times, gone by?

Its been suggested that I need to sign up for an online dating service. Is that really the only option to meet people now a days? I've done that route and frankly didn't enjoy it. There has to be another way. There has to be!

I'll survive. I've survived worse.

And by the way, to all the boys I made the deal with regarding if we hit 40 and weren't married, we'd marry each other so we didn't die alone...thanks a whole helluva lot for leaving me behind with just my cats.

On a much more positive note though, I am, officially, a CM employee. They did opt to hire me permanently. I didn't really have any doubts, but you never know. I feel like I have so much more stake in it now and am working 12-13 hours a day. That won't last long, I promise. And no, I won't meet any men at my work place...they're all married! Damn Damn Double Damn!

Did you get that snack? Was it good? I need a snack!
On a very positive note, however,

Get In My Car

The Hoff! He ROCKS!

Is anyone as scared as I am now? I mean really, using poor little Kit Kar as a "car" to pick up chicks. Bad form David!

HOOoga chacka, HOooga chacha - Hooked on a Feeling....

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y-Night!

Know who sings that song?

Nope. Not Bay City Rollers.

But ......

THE DUDLEY MANLOVE QUARTET

The boys, again, and not surprisingly, did not disappoint last night. The opening act, however, sucked rotten eggs. Oh man they were bad. But - I've decided to purge that memory so as to not take up too much room in the grey matter.

Back to DMQ. Last night was their Anniversary show, 12 long years. They had a slide show of themselves throughout the years and then....then...when you thought it couldn't get any better, they had the slide show timed with the music. It was very retro and was goofy as all get out. But so their personality.

They promised to play some new songs, and they did. They promised to play some old songs, and they did. What they didn't play was some of their "famous" songs. I know, they're a cover band so how is it they have "famous" songs. You see it's this way, they have quite the following. Although I noticed last night the "following" is aging, more old people there than before. Old like in their late 30's. Yah, like me. Anyhow, they have a couple of songs that they sing at every show that those of us who stalk them look forward to. Even Blueberry mentioned last night that they didn't play a few standards.

Now, you'll notice in the picture that my main man, Paul, is wearing paisley purple fancy pants. Yah, not his best look, but they were only a part time look. He put them on to sing Prince...so that makes sense right?

In this picture, notice the teeny tiny girl in red behind me. She's the size of my leg, literally. She barely moved or shook her grove thing all night. So disappointing. She's with the band somehow, I haven't quite figured out how, and she doesn't dance. Though she was at a show with my friend Shannon and I. Standing in the same place as she is now, and Shannon and I were behind her...she farted all night. No lie. Ask Shannon!

Do Not Adjust your Monitor. Do not freak out. But this photo I couldn't resist. Those are my nails in the black light. They kinda creeped me out all night since it looked like they were radioactive. I was "glowing" you could say. Of course black light makes everything white turn this weird blue-ish color. And as if we were in junior high, we giggled and laughed at people's "blue-ish" tones, especially when people smiled and had UBER white teeth. Good times.