The MomUnit has a quote in her email signature that says, "Growing old is not for pansies."
I'd like to revise that to read, "Getting a healthier lifestyle is not for pansies."
This becoming healthy thing is hard. The decisions that one must make on a regular basis is hard.
But I've never really backed down from something hard. I mean I laced up my tennis shoes and trained to walk 60 miles for god sakes...I think I can manage to lose a few lbs.
My approach this time around isn't, or hasn't been, about "losing weight". Yes. I want to lose weight. Yes I know that's the major factor here. But its more than that to me. I want to be healthy. I want to live longer. And since it dawned on me in kinda a "dah" moment that I have complete control over living longer (well relatively speaking) - then darn it do something about it.
This journey isn't really a journey. I mean it is, at least for now, but eventually it will just be life. And that, my friends, is what I'm looking forward to. The day when these difficult decisions aren't decisions so much as lifestyle that comes naturally.
It took me years to train myself to eat poorly and not exercise. Albeit that training was easy. This eating healthy, working out, and making good decisions that promote my healthy lifestyle is NOT going to happen over night.
And guess what, some days, I'm going to choose poorly grasshoppa! And that's okay. I'm not interested in the self deprecating talk that all too often happens when people fall off the better eating wagon.
Dining out will most likely ALWAYS be part of my social life. Some times I'll choose the healthy meal, sometimes I'll choose the not so healthy. The key is making up for that bad decision.
I met a group of girls for dinner last night at a local restaurant. I knew I needed a plan if I was going to make the good, healthy choice for myself. I had researched the menu prior to going and determined what on the menu I thought would be "less" fattening and better for me. There were a couple of options I had in my mind before I sat down. I chose to not have alcohol - HARD to do when you're out with the girls. And I chose a meal that wasn't perfect, but it was better than previous choices. But the best part...
I chose to work out afterwards.
Never in my life would I have imagined me driving from a night out with the girls, directly to the gym to do some cardio. I felt great after I finished my 1.7 miles on the elliptical. I know, not earth shattering to most of you, but for me it was huge. I showed myself AGAIN that I can, and I am making the right choices. And that, my friends, is all I can ask of myself right now.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
The Road to Hell...
...is paved with good intentions.
Ahhh yes. Intentions.
My intention this morning was to rise and shine and get my butt to the gym. I'm meeting some girlfriends for dinner after work and won't have time to get there between end of work and beginning of girl awesomeness.
The alarm went off and I immediately jumped out of bed. Went potty and jumped right into the shower. After said shower I hopped right back into bed. 45 minutes later the great "Get-er-up-er-Er" Pookie - thankfully woke me. I rolled over and realized what had happened and just laughed out loud. I can say I did at least GET UP to go work out. Isn't that half the battle?
Tomorrow's another day.
Last Friday I met with a nutritionist at the gym - an hour consultation came as part of my gym membership. She was nice, and not as drill Sergeant-y as other nutritionist I've known. She was very helpful in giving me some tips on snacking better and ideas for snacks. Then she said something that made me gasp and suddenly recognize I need to up my game....a LOT.
1 pound = 3500 calories.
Being the math whiz that I am that means in order to lose 1 measly little pound in a week I need to work out to equal 3500 calories. That's 500 calories a day I need to exercise towards. That's 7 days a week of 500 calories a day. I'm so not doing that. No wonder I'm not losing very much each week.
So my plan is to up my cardio 5 more minutes this week. On Friday I was so pleased with myself that I made it for 25 whole minutes on the elliptical without passing out. You laugh, but I tell you when you've not been doing a darn thing for years - 25 minutes a big step.
And at 25 minutes I burn about 375 calories. A good start, but not enough. So this week we're going to try 30 minutes 5 days. I'd love to say I'll get there 7 days this week, but I'm realistic in that I know I won't. I've still got a social life that I need to take care of.
Oh and the other thing this nutritionist said that made me laugh out loud was to try to have a bowel movement before I weigh in. Apparently some of those can weigh up to 2 lbs. Are you kidding me? I just stared at her like she grew an antler out of her head. Now, I know I play the "how much can I remove from my body to be decent" game before I weigh in. And I try to weigh in wearing the same clothing...but I never EVER thought about dropping a deuce before weighing in. Of course now I will - think about it that is.
Why does it always go back to poop in our family?
Moving on....
On the bright side, I did lose another pound. So if you're keep track at home, that's a whopping 3! I also got measured on Saturday - I guess they'll be doing that every 3 weeks. I lost a half an inch on each the bust, the waist and the abdomen. The hips stayed the same, which was a bit surprising considering the elliptical training. Oh well. I am glad to see the other areas decreased.
My free meals this weekend were mostly good. Well one of them was mostly good, the other wasn't anywhere near good. I think I may start rethinking this "free" meal thing and maybe reduce it to just one instead of two free meals a weekend. Maybe I should make it two free meals for the entire week! My social life does revolve around food - and that's okay with me - it always has and it always will. I love food. There in lies the issue. I just need to learn to love better food. Healthier food.
So today starts a new week. I'm ready. Let's get this party started.
Ahhh yes. Intentions.
My intention this morning was to rise and shine and get my butt to the gym. I'm meeting some girlfriends for dinner after work and won't have time to get there between end of work and beginning of girl awesomeness.
The alarm went off and I immediately jumped out of bed. Went potty and jumped right into the shower. After said shower I hopped right back into bed. 45 minutes later the great "Get-er-up-er-Er" Pookie - thankfully woke me. I rolled over and realized what had happened and just laughed out loud. I can say I did at least GET UP to go work out. Isn't that half the battle?
Tomorrow's another day.
Last Friday I met with a nutritionist at the gym - an hour consultation came as part of my gym membership. She was nice, and not as drill Sergeant-y as other nutritionist I've known. She was very helpful in giving me some tips on snacking better and ideas for snacks. Then she said something that made me gasp and suddenly recognize I need to up my game....a LOT.
1 pound = 3500 calories.
Being the math whiz that I am that means in order to lose 1 measly little pound in a week I need to work out to equal 3500 calories. That's 500 calories a day I need to exercise towards. That's 7 days a week of 500 calories a day. I'm so not doing that. No wonder I'm not losing very much each week.
So my plan is to up my cardio 5 more minutes this week. On Friday I was so pleased with myself that I made it for 25 whole minutes on the elliptical without passing out. You laugh, but I tell you when you've not been doing a darn thing for years - 25 minutes a big step.
And at 25 minutes I burn about 375 calories. A good start, but not enough. So this week we're going to try 30 minutes 5 days. I'd love to say I'll get there 7 days this week, but I'm realistic in that I know I won't. I've still got a social life that I need to take care of.
Oh and the other thing this nutritionist said that made me laugh out loud was to try to have a bowel movement before I weigh in. Apparently some of those can weigh up to 2 lbs. Are you kidding me? I just stared at her like she grew an antler out of her head. Now, I know I play the "how much can I remove from my body to be decent" game before I weigh in. And I try to weigh in wearing the same clothing...but I never EVER thought about dropping a deuce before weighing in. Of course now I will - think about it that is.
Why does it always go back to poop in our family?
Moving on....
On the bright side, I did lose another pound. So if you're keep track at home, that's a whopping 3! I also got measured on Saturday - I guess they'll be doing that every 3 weeks. I lost a half an inch on each the bust, the waist and the abdomen. The hips stayed the same, which was a bit surprising considering the elliptical training. Oh well. I am glad to see the other areas decreased.
My free meals this weekend were mostly good. Well one of them was mostly good, the other wasn't anywhere near good. I think I may start rethinking this "free" meal thing and maybe reduce it to just one instead of two free meals a weekend. Maybe I should make it two free meals for the entire week! My social life does revolve around food - and that's okay with me - it always has and it always will. I love food. There in lies the issue. I just need to learn to love better food. Healthier food.
So today starts a new week. I'm ready. Let's get this party started.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Tell me your secrets, and I'll tell you no lies.
On my 11th birthday, I got a diary. I felt grown up. Finally, I was grown up enough to have stories to tell my diary. All my 11 yo secrets. It was light blue, with little yellow stars on it. It had a small lock that I was naive enough to believe would protect my secrets from my older sister or the adults in the house.
Once alone I hid my little diary. I didn't write in it immediately. I thumbed through the pages that smelled of new, exciting secrets that the pages would soon hold. As I looked at the pages, I wondered just what my teenage future would hold and what I would put down on those white pages, fitting my story on those delicate, little yellow lines. Would I write about only the happy events? Or would I write about just the sad? I was trying to make up rules for my diary, when I finally decided that my diary would have no rules. Anything and everything could be written down. I promised my 11 yo self that I'd write every day and I'd express my true emotions. No lies could be written in the diary.
Page 1: Dear Diary - I would write. No. That didn't feel right. I sat back on my bed with my legs crossed underneath me, chewing on the end of the pen, and scratch that out. "That sounds so childish", I thought. Dear.... who then? Me? God? Finally, my first entry was about why I wasn't addressing my thoughts, hopes, dreams, secrets, etc to anyone. It dawned on me at a young age that this book, this treasure trove of thoughts was for no one but me. (Side note: I did eventually start writing Dear Diary because of a Judy Bloom book I read in which the main character did, so I did.)
As I became a teenager, my journal became more about boys. Oh so many boys that I had crushes on. The journal would hold the saddest of stories how all those crushes looked toward other girls. I'd write about what was wrong with me. I wasn't pretty enough. I was too shy. I wasn't skinny enough. I wasn't rich. I wasn't [Enter some popular girl's name here]. I just wasn't what the boys wanted. It was sad. And heartbreaking in so many ways.
But there were the good times too. The time Tommy Bennet asked me to couples skate. And how in the dark with REO Speedwagon belting out a ballad he maneuvered me to the dark corner and kissed me. Oh gosh, how I gushed about that night. Of course the following entries were about some girl in Jr. High who wanted to "kick my ass" because I was seen with her boyfriend. Oh the drama.
I survived Tommy Bennet and the so-called girlfriend who wanted to kick my butt.
As I boarded a plane to boarding school, my journal was about, yet again, leaving everything I knew and loved behind. My life was riddled with leaving friends behind. And to a 17 YO girl that was just disastrous. I knew I was doing the right thing, and was excited for the adventure, but how could I leave everyone behind again. I wrote in my journal about a timeframe I knew all too well. Just how long would it be before my friends back home stopped writing me.
Life at TASIS was full of things to write about. Only one or two boy crushes, but the girl drama was epic. You put teenage girls in a dorm together with a dorm mother who didn't really care and wow, the drama that would unfold. My Junior year was the first time someone who shouldn't have read my journal did. It ended a friendship, which was probably for the best.
Those journals included all my travels, where I went, what we saw, who was with me, how I got my purse stolen in Venice, how my friend Claudia got us out of bind on the Almafi Coast because she spoke Italian, the first time I tried gnooki, traveling in and out of Saudi Arabia, my first time seeing the statue David, experiencing the holocaust at Dachau, and of course dealing with my friends being scattered throughout the world after graduation.
College years journals were much of the same minus the European adventures. Boys, studying, drinking, boys, not studying, drinking, Blueberry, drinking, no money, boys, etc. The college years journals aren't nearly as full of drama as previous journals. In fact, I had only one journal for all 4 years. I just didn't write as much in it as previous periods in my life.
Through the adult years my journal would become somewhat of a "finding one's self" book. Especially the 20's where you spend your entire time trying to figure out who you are, and what you believe in. I wouldn't write entries as much as just thoughts. Epiphanies that would come to me while driving, or sitting in a meeting, or out with friends. Sure there were still the occasional story of meeting a boy, liking a boy and the boy liking Blueberry. But by and large it was about me and what I wanted to be.
Then in 2005 that journal became a blog. And while I don't write all my deep dark secrets in this blog, I do put more out here than some think I should. All those deep dark secrets, the "work in progress" book stays at home. Hidden away from anyone who might find it.
Now I write on the computer. I hardly actually "write" much anymore, I find actually writing takes too long and the brilliant thoughts are gone by the time I have the first couple of words written. And the hand cramps...yikes. I've started using OneNote for all my writing. In fact, OneNote on my home computer now contains all my photography notes/journaling, all my cooking notes/journaling, all my financial notes/journaling and now all my personal journals. I've discovered I love it. I love sitting down at home, taking 15-20 minutes at night to just decompress and write about what's going on. And more importantly, what's really going on.
Why do I write? Well, why does anyone? For me it gives me a chance to get all those thoughts out of my head and written down. I find I can settle down a lot better at night by getting them out. Turns out they're useful for soul searching too. Once you've written the same thing for 30+ years you can determine that you are, in fact, a procrastinator....for example.
I'm glad I write. I'm glad that I got that first diary way back when. I'm glad I've saved most of them. I'm glad that I can now write and share my stories to the world - whether anyone is reading them or not is another story - one in which I may write about one day.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Happy Chinese New Year
I hear it's the year of the dragon. That's good. I like dragons. Someone recently asked me what my Chinese sign was. I had no idea. Thankfully we live in a world where the Internet is only a quick click away so I "binged" it ("googled" sounds so much better). Turns out I'm a Monkey. The personality of a Monkey sounds about on especially the words like "charming", and "sparkling wit" and "rapier-sharp mind" (I had to look up "rapier").
The spunky Monkey is the original party animal! Charming and energetic, Monkeys crave fun, activity and stimulation. They truly know how to have a good time and can often be seen swinging from one group of friends to another, attracting a motley crew in the process. Always upbeat, they are considered minor celebrities in their circle thanks to their sparkling wit and that rapier-sharp mind.
The definition continues to say, "The Monkey tends to be rather accident-prone due to a certain lack of very high morals." Wait, what? How does lacking high morals make someone accident-prone - which BTW I'm not. As for my high morals, I'll leave that to the peanut gallery to decide.
It also says, "This Sign may have limited self-control concerning food, alcohol and other pleasurable activities." Boy ain't that true.
The whole personality of the Monkey appears to be one of self-serving, independent, and somewhat of a party animal. I can see many of my personality traits in the Monkey, but like any astrological sign, I don't think it all applies. All the negative stuff in particular doesn't apply. I mean, I am awesome.
Speaking of awesome, I didn't lose any weight this last week. I was home for Snow-pocalypse and on top of that got a nasty cold - which is still with me. Being home means I'm not on a schedule, which makes remembering to eat all the time somewhat difficult. I ate the Jenny food, but didn't eat all the fruits and milk and extra snacky things. You'd think I'd lose because of that. I also didn't work out - still I didn't feel like I was eating any differently. I certainly didn't have other types of food in the house. I guess eating the well-planned, well-portioned menu is important. You'd think I would have lost at least 10 lbs worth of snot. Turns out snot doesn't count apparently.
This week we're starting fresh again. I'm at work, and my plan is all set for today. I've scheduled my meals on the calendar as well as the work out plan for tonight. Can't wait to get this party started.
The spunky Monkey is the original party animal! Charming and energetic, Monkeys crave fun, activity and stimulation. They truly know how to have a good time and can often be seen swinging from one group of friends to another, attracting a motley crew in the process. Always upbeat, they are considered minor celebrities in their circle thanks to their sparkling wit and that rapier-sharp mind.
The definition continues to say, "The Monkey tends to be rather accident-prone due to a certain lack of very high morals." Wait, what? How does lacking high morals make someone accident-prone - which BTW I'm not. As for my high morals, I'll leave that to the peanut gallery to decide.
It also says, "This Sign may have limited self-control concerning food, alcohol and other pleasurable activities." Boy ain't that true.
The whole personality of the Monkey appears to be one of self-serving, independent, and somewhat of a party animal. I can see many of my personality traits in the Monkey, but like any astrological sign, I don't think it all applies. All the negative stuff in particular doesn't apply. I mean, I am awesome.
Speaking of awesome, I didn't lose any weight this last week. I was home for Snow-pocalypse and on top of that got a nasty cold - which is still with me. Being home means I'm not on a schedule, which makes remembering to eat all the time somewhat difficult. I ate the Jenny food, but didn't eat all the fruits and milk and extra snacky things. You'd think I'd lose because of that. I also didn't work out - still I didn't feel like I was eating any differently. I certainly didn't have other types of food in the house. I guess eating the well-planned, well-portioned menu is important. You'd think I would have lost at least 10 lbs worth of snot. Turns out snot doesn't count apparently.
This week we're starting fresh again. I'm at work, and my plan is all set for today. I've scheduled my meals on the calendar as well as the work out plan for tonight. Can't wait to get this party started.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Snow-Pacolypse is among us
You'd think that nothing else in the world is happening besides this snow storm in the Pacific Northwest. Our TV channels have been covering the snow 24 hours a day. The same story over and over...
It's snowing. Stay inside. The roads are icy. Here's a dumbass who tried to make it up a hill. And on and on.
It's beautiful, dont' get me wrong, but enough already. I have about 4inches here, which by some standards isn't a lot, but by PNW standards, its plenty or too much in some cases.
I've been working from home for 4 days now. Nursing a cold and watching it snow as I work through SharePoint content and budgets. Good times.
It is truly a winter wonderland outside. Serene in a weird way. Almost too quiet at times. Yesterday it was beautiful seeing the snow fall. Today it's a bit more eery hearing the ice rain hit the window and trees breaking under the weight of the heavy, wet snow.
Puck's never seen snow before. He romped and played in it all day yesterday. He never got cold either. Weird. Below he's resting and checking out how frozen the pond is. He's wondering where all the ducks who usually float on the pond are and is hoping one of the diving ducks didn't get stuck under the ice when it froze over.
Puck's first attempt at checking out the snow didn't go so well. He tried to stand on the railing and promptly slipped off into the drift below. Silly duck.
He did eventually get around to building a snowman. This was day one of the snow, Sunday. Today the snow covered the snowman and now it's nothing but a bump in the pile of snow. Sad.
The weather people say this is supposed to stop now and we're supposed to warm up a little. Hah. I don't see that happening anytime soon. Its been a nice snow week but I'm ready for our normal Seattle winter with all it's grey skies and rain. Rain is good. I can drive in rain. Sparky likes rain.
Speaking of Sparky. When I pulled into the garage on Saturday when the snow really started, I noticed a weird pattern on Sparky's hood. Some family members, who will remain nameless, have suggested I pull Sparky out, put the top down and shoot a photo. "Wouldn't it be fun?", said nameless family member. Ahhh...no. My luck I'd wreck the car just backing out of the garage.
In the meantime while all this snow is falling, I'm going to dream of warmer weather. I'm going to stare at this photo of the day before the snow storm and remember how warm, dry and beautiful it was.
It's snowing. Stay inside. The roads are icy. Here's a dumbass who tried to make it up a hill. And on and on.
It's beautiful, dont' get me wrong, but enough already. I have about 4inches here, which by some standards isn't a lot, but by PNW standards, its plenty or too much in some cases.
I've been working from home for 4 days now. Nursing a cold and watching it snow as I work through SharePoint content and budgets. Good times.
It is truly a winter wonderland outside. Serene in a weird way. Almost too quiet at times. Yesterday it was beautiful seeing the snow fall. Today it's a bit more eery hearing the ice rain hit the window and trees breaking under the weight of the heavy, wet snow.
Puck's never seen snow before. He romped and played in it all day yesterday. He never got cold either. Weird. Below he's resting and checking out how frozen the pond is. He's wondering where all the ducks who usually float on the pond are and is hoping one of the diving ducks didn't get stuck under the ice when it froze over.
Puck's first attempt at checking out the snow didn't go so well. He tried to stand on the railing and promptly slipped off into the drift below. Silly duck.
He did eventually get around to building a snowman. This was day one of the snow, Sunday. Today the snow covered the snowman and now it's nothing but a bump in the pile of snow. Sad.
The weather people say this is supposed to stop now and we're supposed to warm up a little. Hah. I don't see that happening anytime soon. Its been a nice snow week but I'm ready for our normal Seattle winter with all it's grey skies and rain. Rain is good. I can drive in rain. Sparky likes rain.
Speaking of Sparky. When I pulled into the garage on Saturday when the snow really started, I noticed a weird pattern on Sparky's hood. Some family members, who will remain nameless, have suggested I pull Sparky out, put the top down and shoot a photo. "Wouldn't it be fun?", said nameless family member. Ahhh...no. My luck I'd wreck the car just backing out of the garage.
In the meantime while all this snow is falling, I'm going to dream of warmer weather. I'm going to stare at this photo of the day before the snow storm and remember how warm, dry and beautiful it was.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Another one bites the dust...
This last Saturday was my first weigh in. I was a bit nervous about it because I cheated and stepped on the scale at home on Friday. It didn't look like the needle had moved at all. Frustrating! I had been so good and followed the plan 100% AND I was working out.
Saturday morning I got up, did some cardio at the gym and headed to the weigh in. I decided on the way in that if no weight had been lost, that was okay. It would give me a chance to really look at what I had done all week and find out where I might have misstepped. (Notice I didn't say fail?)
How mature!
How so unlike me.
Once at JC, I took off my coat and my shoes and stepped on the scale. A friend had recommended I not look and only look once a month. Sounds good in theory, but I couldn't stand it. I had to know. Seeing that number go down motivates me.
2 lbs!
The number was 2 lbs less. Immediately "Another one Bites the Dust" popped into my head. Then in the car the song was on the radio. Weird. Must be a sign that it needs to be my theme song this year.
After weighing in, I met a friend for lunch - using up ONE of my free meals for the weekend. The other would be Sunday dinner...which didn't happy, but I'll get to that.
As I was feasting on some phad thai I looked out the window and it was snowing.
SNOWING!
Ick.
I don't like snow. I mean, I like snow in the mountains. Its pretty. Its serene. But it so doesn't belong on the roads. And in Seattle, snow means drivers go crazy. OMG... snow...drive crazy.
Ahhh look. Puck's out enjoying the snow. The pond behind him is now frozen over. Its not like ice skating frozen, but its frozen enough that I saw another duck walk across it today. Puck wants to go ice skating.
This snow is just the start. Apparently the Northwest is about to get hammered by snow. Goody!
I worked from home today, and will likely work from home tomorrow and Wednesday and until that white stuff gets off the road so Sparky can drive on it without squirreling around.
I walked over to the gym today and was surprised how busy it was. The parking lot had quite a few cars in it for a snow day. But it was also a holiday, so I guess that makes sense. Puck went with me to work out too. He was pretty lazy and just hung out on the treadmill and "watched" me sweat.
I almost bit it on my way home. I had over worked myself on Saturday (went back to the gym Saturday evening when I was bored and did some weight lifting...maybe too much weight lifting for the back). So naturally when slipping you try to right yourself and you end up being a contortionist. Tonight its all about cold and warm on the back.
Saturday morning I got up, did some cardio at the gym and headed to the weigh in. I decided on the way in that if no weight had been lost, that was okay. It would give me a chance to really look at what I had done all week and find out where I might have misstepped. (Notice I didn't say fail?)
How mature!
How so unlike me.
Once at JC, I took off my coat and my shoes and stepped on the scale. A friend had recommended I not look and only look once a month. Sounds good in theory, but I couldn't stand it. I had to know. Seeing that number go down motivates me.
2 lbs!
The number was 2 lbs less. Immediately "Another one Bites the Dust" popped into my head. Then in the car the song was on the radio. Weird. Must be a sign that it needs to be my theme song this year.
After weighing in, I met a friend for lunch - using up ONE of my free meals for the weekend. The other would be Sunday dinner...which didn't happy, but I'll get to that.
As I was feasting on some phad thai I looked out the window and it was snowing.
SNOWING!
Ick.
I don't like snow. I mean, I like snow in the mountains. Its pretty. Its serene. But it so doesn't belong on the roads. And in Seattle, snow means drivers go crazy. OMG... snow...drive crazy.
This snow is just the start. Apparently the Northwest is about to get hammered by snow. Goody!
I worked from home today, and will likely work from home tomorrow and Wednesday and until that white stuff gets off the road so Sparky can drive on it without squirreling around.
I walked over to the gym today and was surprised how busy it was. The parking lot had quite a few cars in it for a snow day. But it was also a holiday, so I guess that makes sense. Puck went with me to work out too. He was pretty lazy and just hung out on the treadmill and "watched" me sweat.
I almost bit it on my way home. I had over worked myself on Saturday (went back to the gym Saturday evening when I was bored and did some weight lifting...maybe too much weight lifting for the back). So naturally when slipping you try to right yourself and you end up being a contortionist. Tonight its all about cold and warm on the back.
Friday, January 13, 2012
No Pain! No Gain!
The pain is here. It arrived promptly and loudly this morning. I plan on pushing my way through it though. I'm trying to live the mantra of "No Pain! No Gain!" - within reason, of course. Anyone who knows me knows I whine - a lot - when I'm in pain...so let's not get stupid here.
Yesterday I had a date. A date with a treadmill.
Me and the treadmill spent 30 quality minutes together. We walked hand in hand at a clip of about 3.2mph. Which may not seem like a lot for some of you long legged, fast walkers. But for a short leg meander - er, 3.2 miles for 25 minutes got my heart a pumpin (5 minute cool down made the total 30 minutes).
My plan was to do 10 minutes elliptical, 10 minutes treadmill - twice. I get bored on machines and so if I switch them up I don't get nearly as bored. 20 minutes on ONE machine seems like a lifetime to me. But I can do almost anything for 10 minutes - almost. The Plan B for me was to do 30 minutes on the treadmill - as a project manager I always have a plan B.
When I got to the gym a local high school rowing team was working out. ALL the elliptical were being used by teeny bopper girls and one boy. So I stepped onto the treadmill and started. Waiting. Watching for an opportunity to hop on an elliptical. 15 minutes later the teens departed. I was in the middle of a pretty good song so I figured I'd just finish the song and hop on the elliptical for 15 minutes.
Bad choice.
I didn't realize there were TWO groups of teens. So as one teen left, another group all boys and one girl, came and took over the elliptical. So much for the original plan.
By this time I was 20 minutes into my walking, so I decided to stay. I did spy a Car and Road magazine on the shelf next to me that had a kick ass Mustang on the cover. I hopped off the treadmill quickly and picked up the mag. I can't read and walk at the same time, so I just looked at the pictures.
Before I knew it the timer was going off. Time to slow it down a bit.
I felt GREAT after the walk. I stretched while I was still warm and downed a glass of water.
I know everyone is concerned that I might be hitting the working out too hard. Thank you for your concern, but really I feel good. I do know my limits and I'm keeping my heart rate in the rate zone. If something starts hurting during a work out, I stop. So again, thanks for your concerns, and just know that I'm being careful.
Getting up this morning I was sure I'd be sore. I got shin cramps last night. Holy Moly those things hurt. Time to go buy some more Hanna Montana cream (Arnica Montana is what it's really called). I googled "shin stretches" last night and proceeded to do 30 minutes stretching. It did hurt like the dickens. At one point the shin would cramp, I'd start stretching that and the calf would cramp. Ick.
Tonight I'm going to try my 10 elliptical and 10 treadmill again. Tomorrow's a weigh in. I stepped on the scale this morning out of curiosity and did not like what I saw. It frustrated me momentarily. First off I have no idea how accurate this 30 year old scale is. And secondly, if no weight is lost this week I can at least know that I've started to create some pretty good habits and I'm okay with that. Though I'm sure I've lost a pound or two. At least. Maybe. Please?
This weekend we're expecting some snow here in the Great Northwest. I am planning a photography outting tomorrow to get caught up on my assignments for the two photography classes I'm currently taking. One assignment is a treasure hunt and I'm so digging the themes:
Sunday is Sunday dinner and my free day. I'm still going to try to thin down the meal a bit, and it's good for me to know that real food and cooking is in my future.
Happy Friday the 13th everyone.
Yesterday I had a date. A date with a treadmill.
Me and the treadmill spent 30 quality minutes together. We walked hand in hand at a clip of about 3.2mph. Which may not seem like a lot for some of you long legged, fast walkers. But for a short leg meander - er, 3.2 miles for 25 minutes got my heart a pumpin (5 minute cool down made the total 30 minutes).
My plan was to do 10 minutes elliptical, 10 minutes treadmill - twice. I get bored on machines and so if I switch them up I don't get nearly as bored. 20 minutes on ONE machine seems like a lifetime to me. But I can do almost anything for 10 minutes - almost. The Plan B for me was to do 30 minutes on the treadmill - as a project manager I always have a plan B.
When I got to the gym a local high school rowing team was working out. ALL the elliptical were being used by teeny bopper girls and one boy. So I stepped onto the treadmill and started. Waiting. Watching for an opportunity to hop on an elliptical. 15 minutes later the teens departed. I was in the middle of a pretty good song so I figured I'd just finish the song and hop on the elliptical for 15 minutes.
Bad choice.
I didn't realize there were TWO groups of teens. So as one teen left, another group all boys and one girl, came and took over the elliptical. So much for the original plan.
By this time I was 20 minutes into my walking, so I decided to stay. I did spy a Car and Road magazine on the shelf next to me that had a kick ass Mustang on the cover. I hopped off the treadmill quickly and picked up the mag. I can't read and walk at the same time, so I just looked at the pictures.
Before I knew it the timer was going off. Time to slow it down a bit.
I felt GREAT after the walk. I stretched while I was still warm and downed a glass of water.
I know everyone is concerned that I might be hitting the working out too hard. Thank you for your concern, but really I feel good. I do know my limits and I'm keeping my heart rate in the rate zone. If something starts hurting during a work out, I stop. So again, thanks for your concerns, and just know that I'm being careful.
Getting up this morning I was sure I'd be sore. I got shin cramps last night. Holy Moly those things hurt. Time to go buy some more Hanna Montana cream (Arnica Montana is what it's really called). I googled "shin stretches" last night and proceeded to do 30 minutes stretching. It did hurt like the dickens. At one point the shin would cramp, I'd start stretching that and the calf would cramp. Ick.
Tonight I'm going to try my 10 elliptical and 10 treadmill again. Tomorrow's a weigh in. I stepped on the scale this morning out of curiosity and did not like what I saw. It frustrated me momentarily. First off I have no idea how accurate this 30 year old scale is. And secondly, if no weight is lost this week I can at least know that I've started to create some pretty good habits and I'm okay with that. Though I'm sure I've lost a pound or two. At least. Maybe. Please?
This weekend we're expecting some snow here in the Great Northwest. I am planning a photography outting tomorrow to get caught up on my assignments for the two photography classes I'm currently taking. One assignment is a treasure hunt and I'm so digging the themes:
- Your feet in the grass
- Sun (yah right)
- Clouds
- Paint Chips
- An adventure
- Your morning coffee
- a riot of color
- a mess
- a brightly colored Popsicle (not likely in the winter but we'll see)
- laughter
- someone you love
- someone with a cape (I love this one.)
Sunday is Sunday dinner and my free day. I'm still going to try to thin down the meal a bit, and it's good for me to know that real food and cooking is in my future.
Happy Friday the 13th everyone.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
A Comedy of Errors
Yesterday I worked out.
I know, for many of you that's not a WOW moment, but for me it was a big moment. Unfortunately, things did not go as planned and it turned into a comedy of errors. At least that's how I'm choosing to view it today.
As I said I worked out yesterday. I got home around 3:45, changed and then battled with myself as to whether I should walk to the gym (it was freakin freezing outside) or drive. The New Jenn won and I walked over. Leaving the house, as I've done a hundred times before, I left through the garage and closed the garage door via the key pad outside.
Did my thing at the gym. Caught my breath and stretched and walked home. I got home and tapped in my code and nothing. No garage movement at all. I tapped it in again and nothing.
Last time this happened I had to just sit and wait so the stupid pad could reset itself and it would work fine. I sat. I waited. I froze. Finally, I tried it again. Nothing. Argh.
I walked across the way and knocked on the neighbors house. They have a thousand kids and I was dreading having to talk to the thousand kids and beg to use their phone. Then it hit me, do I even know Blueberry's cell number?
Mr. Neighbor and his thousand kids let me in - ahh heat - and I used his house phone. Called Blueberry who apparently couldn't hear me through the phone. Tried again. She still couldn't hear me. Finally Mr. Neighbor said, "Use my cell phone." Called Blueberry again, and after her struggling with something on her end, she could hear me.
She was working later than normal and hadn't left work yet. She did agree, with very little begging I might add, to run home, get my key and come help me.
It's important for some of you readers to know the logistics here. Blueberry works in downtown Seattle. She's a bus rider (Yay saving money and gas). And she lives 20 miles north of Seattle. Which means, she has to leave her office, get to the bus stop, wait for the bus, get home (during the busiest time of traffic), get in her car at the park and ride, get to her house (another quarter mile away), rummage through her drawers to find my key, get in her car and drive another 20 miles to my house during rush hour (thankfully going against traffic). I'm tired just typing that out.
So I told Blueberry I'd wait for her at Tully's across the street. It was at least warm and had a bathroom. In hindsight I should have waited at the gym and maybe worked out some more. At the minimum they had TVs and people to watch.
By the time I got to Tully's it was 4:45pm. I sat. I waited. I sat some more. Also keep in mind, I have no phone, no book, no money, no nothing to entertain me. Just me and my bottled water - which I was conserving in case I had to make a night of it on the street.
Finally at 6:30pm Blueberry pulls into Tully's with her Wad-O-Keys.
We head to my place and proceed to try every - single - key on this Wad-O-Key ring. Nothing. None of them work. Argh! We debated at least for 10minutes about what all those keys belong to - why I don't know, but it entertained us a little. Well, it entertained me.
We tried them again. We even looked for a flash light in her car to help us see the door handle, because maybe that would miraculously make one of them work. I walked back over to the garage to see if the key pad would work. Nothing. I did happen to glance up to my living room window and there sat Pookie. Staring at me with a face like, "WTH? I'm hungry here." Too bad he doesn't speak English and can't open doors.
Finally, giving up on the keys, I borrowed Blueberry's phone to call the Landlords. I figured Mr. Landlord was still at work at Hotel CaliforniaSoft which is near me so I hit his "work" number on Blueberry's cell phone.
It rang a couple of times and Mrs. Landlord answered. Huh? Turns out Blueberry's numbers are all weird. It also turns out that Mrs. Landlord was in Redmond and has a garage clicker and she'd be happy to swing by.
Ten minutes later she's swinging by and her clicker isn't work. Great. Now what? Mrs. Landlord says she has a spare key at their condo in Bellevue. So we all head caravan style to their condo. 20 minutes of looking for a key, chit chatting and peeing (what? I had to pee.) Blueberry and I are back on our way.
Mrs. Landlord wasn't 100% sure the keys she handed me were to the house, but Mr. Landlord, whom we called from their place, said he has a set at work. Blue and I decide to save time and swing by Hotel CaliforniaSoft and pick up a set of keys from Mr. Landlord. If none of these keys work, I was going to be calling a lock smith and waiting another 4 hours likely.
We get back to my place and try Mr. Landlord's set of keys - and voila! The door opened.
Incidentally, the other set of keys didn't work. Not sure what those belong to but will give them back to the Landlords for them to figure out.
By this time its 8pm. I'm STARVING as is Blueberry. I offer her a Jenny Craig meal which she turns down saying "no no. They're expensive I don't want to use one of those." Which translates into, "Gross. Are you kidding?" So I heated up some chicken noodle soup for her and a JC meal for me and we sat laughing at how stupid this who event was.
BTW, the garage door does open with my clicker and the inside door opener.
So what did I learn from all this:
I know, for many of you that's not a WOW moment, but for me it was a big moment. Unfortunately, things did not go as planned and it turned into a comedy of errors. At least that's how I'm choosing to view it today.
As I said I worked out yesterday. I got home around 3:45, changed and then battled with myself as to whether I should walk to the gym (it was freakin freezing outside) or drive. The New Jenn won and I walked over. Leaving the house, as I've done a hundred times before, I left through the garage and closed the garage door via the key pad outside.
Did my thing at the gym. Caught my breath and stretched and walked home. I got home and tapped in my code and nothing. No garage movement at all. I tapped it in again and nothing.
Last time this happened I had to just sit and wait so the stupid pad could reset itself and it would work fine. I sat. I waited. I froze. Finally, I tried it again. Nothing. Argh.
I walked across the way and knocked on the neighbors house. They have a thousand kids and I was dreading having to talk to the thousand kids and beg to use their phone. Then it hit me, do I even know Blueberry's cell number?
Mr. Neighbor and his thousand kids let me in - ahh heat - and I used his house phone. Called Blueberry who apparently couldn't hear me through the phone. Tried again. She still couldn't hear me. Finally Mr. Neighbor said, "Use my cell phone." Called Blueberry again, and after her struggling with something on her end, she could hear me.
She was working later than normal and hadn't left work yet. She did agree, with very little begging I might add, to run home, get my key and come help me.
It's important for some of you readers to know the logistics here. Blueberry works in downtown Seattle. She's a bus rider (Yay saving money and gas). And she lives 20 miles north of Seattle. Which means, she has to leave her office, get to the bus stop, wait for the bus, get home (during the busiest time of traffic), get in her car at the park and ride, get to her house (another quarter mile away), rummage through her drawers to find my key, get in her car and drive another 20 miles to my house during rush hour (thankfully going against traffic). I'm tired just typing that out.
So I told Blueberry I'd wait for her at Tully's across the street. It was at least warm and had a bathroom. In hindsight I should have waited at the gym and maybe worked out some more. At the minimum they had TVs and people to watch.
By the time I got to Tully's it was 4:45pm. I sat. I waited. I sat some more. Also keep in mind, I have no phone, no book, no money, no nothing to entertain me. Just me and my bottled water - which I was conserving in case I had to make a night of it on the street.
Finally at 6:30pm Blueberry pulls into Tully's with her Wad-O-Keys.
We head to my place and proceed to try every - single - key on this Wad-O-Key ring. Nothing. None of them work. Argh! We debated at least for 10minutes about what all those keys belong to - why I don't know, but it entertained us a little. Well, it entertained me.
We tried them again. We even looked for a flash light in her car to help us see the door handle, because maybe that would miraculously make one of them work. I walked back over to the garage to see if the key pad would work. Nothing. I did happen to glance up to my living room window and there sat Pookie. Staring at me with a face like, "WTH? I'm hungry here." Too bad he doesn't speak English and can't open doors.
Finally, giving up on the keys, I borrowed Blueberry's phone to call the Landlords. I figured Mr. Landlord was still at work at Hotel CaliforniaSoft which is near me so I hit his "work" number on Blueberry's cell phone.
It rang a couple of times and Mrs. Landlord answered. Huh? Turns out Blueberry's numbers are all weird. It also turns out that Mrs. Landlord was in Redmond and has a garage clicker and she'd be happy to swing by.
Ten minutes later she's swinging by and her clicker isn't work. Great. Now what? Mrs. Landlord says she has a spare key at their condo in Bellevue. So we all head caravan style to their condo. 20 minutes of looking for a key, chit chatting and peeing (what? I had to pee.) Blueberry and I are back on our way.
Mrs. Landlord wasn't 100% sure the keys she handed me were to the house, but Mr. Landlord, whom we called from their place, said he has a set at work. Blue and I decide to save time and swing by Hotel CaliforniaSoft and pick up a set of keys from Mr. Landlord. If none of these keys work, I was going to be calling a lock smith and waiting another 4 hours likely.
We get back to my place and try Mr. Landlord's set of keys - and voila! The door opened.
Incidentally, the other set of keys didn't work. Not sure what those belong to but will give them back to the Landlords for them to figure out.
By this time its 8pm. I'm STARVING as is Blueberry. I offer her a Jenny Craig meal which she turns down saying "no no. They're expensive I don't want to use one of those." Which translates into, "Gross. Are you kidding?" So I heated up some chicken noodle soup for her and a JC meal for me and we sat laughing at how stupid this who event was.
BTW, the garage door does open with my clicker and the inside door opener.
So what did I learn from all this:
- Take a spare key and hide it outside somewhere
- Give Blueberry a BIG key ring, brightly colored with BIG Letters that says, "Jenn's Key. Do Not. Lose."
- Perhaps take a spare key with me to work out.
- Blueberry has too many keys where she doesn't know what they belong to. She might be a key hoarder in disguise.
- Tully's is boring without money.
- The bathrooms at Tully's are clean.
- I can make good food decisions even though I'm starving.
- Laugh at everything. It may be bad, and frustrating, and annoying, but really, what can you do? Laugh and it'll make it better.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Secure in my insecurities
I received an email from a friend recently that was her babbling (her words, not mine) about her insecurities. It was an interesting email to me for a couple of reasons. First, I'ver never thought of her as someone with insecurities and second, it got me to thinking about a couple of things that have taken place the past couple of days.
Before I get into it, let me warn you dear readers. I'm feeling overly opened these days and not afraid to write things, or say things out loud, that I might have shied away from previously. I won't apologize if it's too open for some of you (stop reading). All I'll say is my blog is a journal for me. Many personal things I keep out of the blog for good reasons - there still needs to be some mystery. However, this journey I'm on I want to share. My hope is maybe, just maybe, someone else out there reading this blog will get a morsel of advice and change their lives.
In my thirties I remember hearing from a friend of mine who was in her 40's the following phrase: "Once you are in you're 40's you start to accept yourself without question." I remember thinking at the time how ridiculous that was. Women never accept themselves. We're designed to question every wrinkle, every fat cell, every grey hair. Ahhh the shallow mind of a 30 year old.
Now, well into my 40's (is 43 "well" into one's 40's?), I'm starting to think she was right. I've definitely felt more comfortable in my skin the last several years. There were still some insecurity demons that showed up every now and then, but I felt mostly comfortable. Mostly.
Being fat for most of your entire life (I say most because I have photos of a small, petite little blond girl, who the MomUnit says is me) means, often, that you are FULL of insecurities. You have a lack of confidence in so many situations that you often fake it so people don't see the missing confidence. I have had a handle on the "fake it until you make it" attitude for some time. In fact, I'd be willing to bet if you polled my friends most, if not all, would say they thought I was a confident woman. And in many areas of my life I am, just not all.
On Saturday as I sat in the hard, cold chair in the Jenny Craig waiting room I was waiting for the lack of confidence, the shame, the embarrassment emotions to wash over me. I sat. I waited (I was early you see) and the emotions never came. I peeked into my emotional vault to see what was there. Why wasn't I feeling those emotions that I'm so familiar with? It felt different this time. I actually felt *gasp* confident. I wasn't faking it, or was I? I struggled with this for a brief moment. Testing the waters to see if I was, in fact "faking it" or did I actually feel confident sitting there? I glared into my insides to see - testing it over and over again. Each time, confidence existed. I was, to say the least, a bit taken back. "Huh?," I thought, "how odd."
I left the weigh in a little lighter in the pocket book, but with a plan. Well, and some frozen food.
Yesterday I signed up for a gym. Gyms are intimidating to me. They're full of physically svelte people who have eaten right their entire lives. Healthy to the max. At least that's the story I tell myself. Soon after I tell myself that story, I follow it with, "Its no place for you." Get in my car and drive away.
I called and made an appt to get a tour. Ryan would be who my appt was with. I arrived early, shocking I know, and Ryan was ready. I was waiting for the judgmental up and down glare he'd give me. I mean he's working in a gym and he's HOT, surely he's judging me. Ryan introduced himself and we started or tour.
Immediately he asked what brought me in. My lips were ready to form the standard sentence, lie really, to tell him what he wanted to hear. Instead, I spilled the truth. I explained to Ryan what I was doing with JC and why I now felt I needed some exercise.
Again I waited for the judgement. Instead Ryan said to me, " "We all have to start some where. You've made a right choice today." "A" right choice. Not "the" right choice, but "a" right choice.
The tour continued and I asked questions I normally wouldn't ask. As I was waiting for the handsome Ryan to run my credit card I realized that entire time I walked around with my head held high. I felt secure. I felt proud of myself. I felt confident. FELT confident.
I walked home amazed at this new emotion. This new feeling of security. My instinct is to over analyze this and figure out WHY am I feeling secure kicked in immediately. And I will look a bit into it, mostly so I can keep it going. I think I have an idea as to why. I'm happy. Happy with my recent choices. And maybe, just maybe, that happiness is driving this security.
Before I get into it, let me warn you dear readers. I'm feeling overly opened these days and not afraid to write things, or say things out loud, that I might have shied away from previously. I won't apologize if it's too open for some of you (stop reading). All I'll say is my blog is a journal for me. Many personal things I keep out of the blog for good reasons - there still needs to be some mystery. However, this journey I'm on I want to share. My hope is maybe, just maybe, someone else out there reading this blog will get a morsel of advice and change their lives.
In my thirties I remember hearing from a friend of mine who was in her 40's the following phrase: "Once you are in you're 40's you start to accept yourself without question." I remember thinking at the time how ridiculous that was. Women never accept themselves. We're designed to question every wrinkle, every fat cell, every grey hair. Ahhh the shallow mind of a 30 year old.
Now, well into my 40's (is 43 "well" into one's 40's?), I'm starting to think she was right. I've definitely felt more comfortable in my skin the last several years. There were still some insecurity demons that showed up every now and then, but I felt mostly comfortable. Mostly.
Being fat for most of your entire life (I say most because I have photos of a small, petite little blond girl, who the MomUnit says is me) means, often, that you are FULL of insecurities. You have a lack of confidence in so many situations that you often fake it so people don't see the missing confidence. I have had a handle on the "fake it until you make it" attitude for some time. In fact, I'd be willing to bet if you polled my friends most, if not all, would say they thought I was a confident woman. And in many areas of my life I am, just not all.
On Saturday as I sat in the hard, cold chair in the Jenny Craig waiting room I was waiting for the lack of confidence, the shame, the embarrassment emotions to wash over me. I sat. I waited (I was early you see) and the emotions never came. I peeked into my emotional vault to see what was there. Why wasn't I feeling those emotions that I'm so familiar with? It felt different this time. I actually felt *gasp* confident. I wasn't faking it, or was I? I struggled with this for a brief moment. Testing the waters to see if I was, in fact "faking it" or did I actually feel confident sitting there? I glared into my insides to see - testing it over and over again. Each time, confidence existed. I was, to say the least, a bit taken back. "Huh?," I thought, "how odd."
I left the weigh in a little lighter in the pocket book, but with a plan. Well, and some frozen food.
Yesterday I signed up for a gym. Gyms are intimidating to me. They're full of physically svelte people who have eaten right their entire lives. Healthy to the max. At least that's the story I tell myself. Soon after I tell myself that story, I follow it with, "Its no place for you." Get in my car and drive away.
I called and made an appt to get a tour. Ryan would be who my appt was with. I arrived early, shocking I know, and Ryan was ready. I was waiting for the judgmental up and down glare he'd give me. I mean he's working in a gym and he's HOT, surely he's judging me. Ryan introduced himself and we started or tour.
Immediately he asked what brought me in. My lips were ready to form the standard sentence, lie really, to tell him what he wanted to hear. Instead, I spilled the truth. I explained to Ryan what I was doing with JC and why I now felt I needed some exercise.
Again I waited for the judgement. Instead Ryan said to me, " "We all have to start some where. You've made a right choice today." "A" right choice. Not "the" right choice, but "a" right choice.
The tour continued and I asked questions I normally wouldn't ask. As I was waiting for the handsome Ryan to run my credit card I realized that entire time I walked around with my head held high. I felt secure. I felt proud of myself. I felt confident. FELT confident.
I walked home amazed at this new emotion. This new feeling of security. My instinct is to over analyze this and figure out WHY am I feeling secure kicked in immediately. And I will look a bit into it, mostly so I can keep it going. I think I have an idea as to why. I'm happy. Happy with my recent choices. And maybe, just maybe, that happiness is driving this security.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
The Day the Carbs died…
Day one was successful. Not pretty successful, but 100%, whole heartedly successful. Which isn’t surprising at all. The first week, in fact, is usually pretty easy. I’m motivated, I’m on board, I’m following the letter of the law – well sorta – and by that I mean I didn’t give up the sugar and cream in my coffee. And I won’t. So stop asking me to.
8am – JC cereal
9am – fruit
10am – cheese
Water Water Water
11am is lunch time for me, but I wasn’t quite hungry yet so I waited. I had a bug bash at noon in which pizza was going to be present, so I figured I’d eat my lunch during the bug bash to avoid me wanting the pizza.
11:30 – fruit
12:00 – lunch
12:30 – salad from lunch
Water Water Water – I float
1:00 nothing
2:00 – yogurt
2:30 – fruit
3:00 – the witching hour for me. I usually get hungry at/around 3pm and snack unnecessarily. The hunger at 3 is usually because I didn’t have breakfast, so starved myself until lunch. Over ate at lunch time. Hit the wall at 3pm. Yesterday I was a bit hungry so I drank a big glass of water quickly.
4:00 Zumba hilarity
Water Water Water – I float some more
Ahem.
Two things happened yesterday:
1. I had an epiphory (if you watch the Office you know that Michael Scott calls epiphanies epiphories)
2. I laughed my ass off, which burns calories, doing Zumba for the first time in my living room.
First the Zumba. I thought myself a relatively coordinated person when it comes to dance. I can pick up the beat and go with it. I have moves. Apparently my “moves” are slow and decrypted and the “moves” in Zumba need to be quick and fast. I was about three steps behind the entire time. My brain would tell my left foot/leg to move and my right foot would move instead. It was pretty comical to say the least. The DVD set I bought came with an instructional series in which they go through all the dance steps and break them down. I did that section first and felt pretty confident I’d be okay. I would be wrong.
OMG…I zigged when I should have zagged. I was sucking in air like a crazy person. I was sweating like a mad man and that was only after about 15 minutes. I had to slow myself down a bit because I discovered, well 1) I couldn’t breathe but more importantly some of the moves make my knees hurt. The name of the move escapes me, but it was something “funk”. Essentially you twist your knee in towards the other knee while doing something with your arms (which I couldn’t tell you what that something was because what my arms were doing at the time wasn’t, I’m sure, what they should have been doing. Turns out they have a mind of their own too. Right, so knees hurt, hips hurt, arms hurt, feet hurt…all in all…I think it was a pretty good work out.
Now to the epiphory.
My ENTIRE life I’ve been told two things:
- Eat everything on your plate
- Only eat when you’re hungry.
I’m sure the “eat everything on your plate” is an ideal that came about in the 50’s after the depression. Don’t waste anything is basically what that’s saying. And to some extent I get it. Unfortunately, it taught me to “eat everything on my plate” even when my stomach was yelling STOP! Thus I over eat.
Now that’s not the only reason I over eat, that’s one of many. Last night as I was trying to finish the 2 cups of vegetables I had to have for the day. I was full. But dammit, the plan says to eat 2 cups, I’m eating 2 cups. And then it hit me. Why? If you’re full, you’re full. Stop eating. Leave the vegetables until maybe later if you’re still hungry you can finish them.
So I left the vegetables. And never went back to them.
I’ve been told my entire life to help you stop eating so much to only eat when you’re hungry. Turns out that’s way off.
Yesterday I found myself eating the entire day. Almost every hour I had something to eat. Breakfast included a JC meal, a fruit, milk, and cottage cheese (blech). I avoided the cottage cheese like the plague, and added another cheese instead (those mini babybel white cheddar snacks are awesome). I’m pretty sure that swapping cottage cheese (I think it’s considered a dairy) with a cheese cheese (which is actually considered a protein) may be wrong, but the calories were the same-ish so I went with it.
I started eating breakfast at 8am.
I finished breakfast at 10 am.
First, I’m not a breakfast person at all. So eating something at 8am is hard for me, and it turns out it helped get me through the day. I don't want to make this blog a "what I ate all day" blog, but I think it's important to show you...since I'm trying to make a point - that I'll eventually get to.
8am – JC cereal
9am – fruit
10am – cheese
Water Water Water
11am is lunch time for me, but I wasn’t quite hungry yet so I waited. I had a bug bash at noon in which pizza was going to be present, so I figured I’d eat my lunch during the bug bash to avoid me wanting the pizza.
11:30 – fruit
12:00 – lunch
12:30 – salad from lunch
Water Water Water – I float
1:00 nothing
2:00 – yogurt
2:30 – fruit
3:00 – the witching hour for me. I usually get hungry at/around 3pm and snack unnecessarily. The hunger at 3 is usually because I didn’t have breakfast, so starved myself until lunch. Over ate at lunch time. Hit the wall at 3pm. Yesterday I was a bit hungry so I drank a big glass of water quickly.
4:00 Zumba hilarity
Water Water Water – I float some more
5:00 dinner – Mesquite chicken, broccoli, baby red potatoes (like 1/4c of them) and 2 cups other vegetable.
Interesting side note - I wasn’t as hungry AFTER exercising as I expected myself to be. So I ate, and as I stated above, did not finish the vegetables.
7:00 – evening snack – JC White Cheddar popcorn (way more interesting than vegetables)Just look at that schedule. It’s eating all day long. And what I discovered yesterday, which many of you already know I’m sure, is that it’s not about eating when you’re hungry. By then it’s too late. Instead its about slowly feeding yourself all day. Grazing. Little, very small, snacks/meals help get you through. Your body never feels hungry.
I think somewhere in the depths of my brain I knew this. I’m sure some dietician along the way probably told me. Weight Watchers probably told me. Jenny Craig probably told me. All the other diets I’ve tried probably told me. It took yesterday, charting out every morsel for me to go, “AHAH!” Suffice it to say it got very bright here in Redmond.
There’s another trick I’ve discovered that I’ll chat about in another blog…if I remember. In the meantime, I’ll just say that technology is a great thing. Charting and tracking your food online and on your iphone is awesome. Thanks Patron Saint for directing me to MyFitnessPal.com.
Monday, January 09, 2012
Vanquishing a Demon
Its time. The demon has lived with me for far too long. I’ve fought off this demon many times in the past and have been successful for a short amount of time. I’d give up and give in. Only to face off with the demon again.
Two years ago I let the demon be free. I let it do whatever it wanted, whenever it wanted and did not stop to consider the consequences. I knew that one day the consequences would become more important than the rest. But for the time being I let the demon be free.
Finally, I’m ready to tame the demon. I’m sure I’ll be successful for a while. I always am.
I’m sure I’ll fall off the wagon and let the demon run free.
I’m sure the demon will push me to the edge.
I’ve lived with this demon since the day I was born – it feels like anyhow. Some years I’ve been more successful than others in taming it. But I’ve never felt as ready to tame it as I do at this moment. I’m going to do all that I can to hold on to this feeling of dominance over the demon. It’ll be difficult. It’ll be challenging. And it’ll be worth it.
If you’ve never struggled with weight, it’s not likely you can understand this demon. I remember the first time the MomUnit loaded me up in the car and off we went to Weight Watchers. I think I was in 6th or 7th grade. I’m not sure what the MomUnit was hoping to achieve by taking me to WW. I like to think she was helping me understand my relationship with food. I felt, well, hurt. I saw it as “your fat and we need to fix you.” Of course I was a teen girl and well, you know how teen girls are...emotional. Not too surprisingly I wasn’t successful at it. The ParentalUnits did a good job of cooking healthy – mostly. We had well rounded dinners and we always had a salad. It was the other meals that I could control that worked against me. It was the snacks in between the meals that would hurt me. It was the hiding the cookies and candy in my room that would hurt me.
This cycle continued for years. YEARS. I would try new gimmicks. I would try new “diets”. I would try to remove carbs.” I’d try to eat only protein. I’d try to not eat (not ever successful at this one). At the end of the day, I would give in every. Single. Time.
And I may this time.
The larger goal is too daunting to even look at. I know what that number is, and frankly seeing it makes me not want to even try. So my goal is 20 lbs. Just twenty. I’d like to try to lost 20 by the end of March. That’s pretty aggressive, but it’s a goal. That’s 6lbs a month. Which won’t be a problem the first month – mostly because its easy to stay on any new eating lifestyle for a month and the initial weight loss will be water (so they say).
I need to move more. Walking 30minutes a week certainly isn’t exercise. It’s getting fresh air. So I bought a Zumba DVD kit to start. I watched the first 20 minutes last night to get myself familiar with it. I found my feet were ready to move with the beat. This kit is a 4 week kit that starts you out as a beginner and gradually adds more little by little each week. I’ve scheduled (actually on my calendar) the time between 4pm and 5pm for Zumba. I’ll eventually need to join a gym probably because I’ll get bored with this DVD set. For now, it’s the plan.
Self speak needs to change. Just rereading this blog post I can see I’ve already given myself exit strategies. Which is okay – mostly. I’m not delusional enough – yet – to think I will be 100% successful at this all the time. I think the realistic approach is better than trying to go all out and then fail and wonder why. I know I’ll fail at times. And that’s okay. Heck, I may even stop after a month. But I’m going to start really thinking about why I’m doing this. It’s not for vanity reasons – it’s for health reasons. I want to live longer. Watching my father struggle with diabetes makes me NOT want to be like that.
Free days will be part of this journey. I discovered during my last attempt at this, that having a free day once a week really helped me. It was something to work towards. Something that I could look forwards to and know on my free day I can have that pasta. Or that heavier meal, non-diet meal. It feeds the beast and it helps me be ready to get on with it again. Plus, having the free day and exercising…that can’t be nearly as bad as having every day a free day and NOT exercising.
So here I am telling you, my friends and family, that I’m starting on a quest. I’m going to try to vanquish this demon. I know some of you will support me. Some of you will scoff. Some of you may even try to deter me. At the end of the day, I am the one who controls my destiny. And as of this minute, this moment, this first day of vanquishing the demon – I’m feeling pretty good.
Thursday, January 05, 2012
Love is in the air….sight and every sound
OMG. I’m in love.
Fully. 100%. Absolutely. Without hesitation. In love.
I knew it would happen one day, well I mean I hoped it would.
If you're laughing right now you clearly don't understand the relationship between a scrapbooker and glitter. Its messy. Very very messy.
Don't get me wrong, I do love glitter. I just don't like that it stays with me for days, weeks even.
This new love has solved all my glitter issues.
Glitter PENS!
I blame my enabler BeagleBabe. She's responsible for introducing me to my newest and most glittery-est love. But I'm so very glad she did.
These colorfully, glittery, smooth writing pens are what dreams are made of. I can hardly wait to start using them in jest on my scrapbook pages - instead of writing, "I love you glitter pens" and "Mrs. GlitterPens."
I hope the boyfriend doesn't find out about this new love. He may stop making me coffee.
Fully. 100%. Absolutely. Without hesitation. In love.
I knew it would happen one day, well I mean I hoped it would.
I knew that I’d walk into a room/store/website and be immediately smitten. And that day has come. Finally.
I always thought that love was allusive and not something that ever be a part of my life. Sure my friends and family love me, but they don’t count. Well, I mean they do count, but not like this love.
This love is pure. It’s full of color and grace and glitter!
Yes glitter.
I always thought that love was allusive and not something that ever be a part of my life. Sure my friends and family love me, but they don’t count. Well, I mean they do count, but not like this love.
This love is pure. It’s full of color and grace and glitter!
Yes glitter.
Don't get me wrong, I do love glitter. I just don't like that it stays with me for days, weeks even.
This new love has solved all my glitter issues.
Glitter PENS!
I blame my enabler BeagleBabe. She's responsible for introducing me to my newest and most glittery-est love. But I'm so very glad she did.
These colorfully, glittery, smooth writing pens are what dreams are made of. I can hardly wait to start using them in jest on my scrapbook pages - instead of writing, "I love you glitter pens" and "Mrs. GlitterPens."
I hope the boyfriend doesn't find out about this new love. He may stop making me coffee.
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Party Like it's 1999...or 2012...
Wow. A new year! I love new years. Its like you get to start all over. OVERS! Last year is done, gone, dead to me. I had some very great moments last year, and some not so great. Thankfully, the former out-weighed the latter (I always want to type "ladder" for "latter". Weird..I know.)
So 2012...
So now that a new year is upon us, it's only right we reflect on 2011. As I mentioned it was a good year. In years past I didn't do goal I did themes. Last year I decided to do goals and fore go themes. Made it too complicated to remember year round what my theme was. And all too often, about April, I'd want to change my theme. So goals it was.
Here are my 2011 goals and how I did with them...because I know you care.
1. Financial Freedom! -Turns out being out of debt is fun. And while I still use my credit cards, they are getting paid off monthly. Only remaining debt is Sparky, and well, that's not debt to me.
2. Photography! - I think this blog shows I kept up my end of photographing the life and times of Jenn and Puck. However, I did make myself go out and actually practice my craft. And, in case you remember back to January 2011 I signed up for Project365. As for this morning, that chapter is closed. I went out with the PhotoGods and shot as much as I can. I took a couple photography classes and subsequently practiced what I learned. All in all, I nailed this goal, I think.
3. Travel! - My actual goal was three weekend trips, or mark 3 things off the "bucket list" of things to do and see in the Seattle area. Turns out having 100 days off in the summer, and buying a convertible helps with this goal. Trips included: Bellingham, Victoria, Ellensburg, Ginkgo Petrified Forest ("forest" isn't what I'd call it. I called it the Death March of 2011.), and 4 trips to Tucson.
4. Build relationships! - There's a bunch of old friends I wanted to make a significant effort to reconnect with. Facebook has helped to some degree, but it wasn't quite as much as I had hoped. I did rekindle a relationship or two and made an effort to keep in touch with some very specific friends that I had been neglecting. I could have done more with this one and may have to consider adding it to 2012 goals.
5. Personal Growth! - I didn't mean my physical size, but my mental size. I won't go into too much detail here, but I did discover a few things about me that I specifically and with intention changed. I was also able to identify some behavior issues I needed to fix...and did to some extent, but will continue now that I know what they are.
6. Sunday Dinners! - It goes without saying that I did 12 fantastic Sunday dinners. This moves off the goal list and becomes a tradition.
7. Read 35 books! - I read 57. Notice I didn't say "Read 35 good, deep, thought provoking, books." Of the 57 I think about 4 were photography books, 3 were project management and marketing, one was a financial book, the rest...all just entertaining books.
8. Find a new fundraiser! - Check. Cookbooks were a big success. Not only did I have a blast making them, but we did about $800 in fundraising. At the end of the day, I think we could have done more, and we will. Being a project manager I did a quick little "what-worked-what-didn't" exercise. Bottom line, charge more!
Phew!
Now what's on deck for 2012?
1. Scrapbooking! I'd like to do a couple things here. First, get all caught up again, and make an effort to stay caught up. Second is to stop buying new scrapbook stuff and really use what I have. God knows I could open my own scrapbook store.
2. Photography! Yes this is a constant focus (pardon the pun) of mine. This year, I'm doing Project365 again, and this year I'm doing themes each month. In addition, I want to work on taking photos with a flash, taking candids, and learning Photoshop Elements more.
3. Finances! This year's focus is on saving. And saving big. Maxing out the 401K, and putting at least 3 months of salary in the bank. Finally, once that's done, start investing somewhere.
4. Health! I'm not quite sure what this looks like yet. I know I want to drink more water, take my vitamins more regularly, and start moving more. What all that entails I'm not quite sure. I just know now that I've written it, I can start planning and doing something about making myself a bit more healthy.
5. Write more! I love writing. Some think I'm good at it. Some think I stink at it. I think I'm just average. I have spurts of great writing, and it's those spurts I want to work on. I bought myself a book called 1,000 Prompts. It has, well, 1,000 ideas of things to write about. I want to try to write something besides the blog at least twice a month. I've signed up for a creative writing class, but have to move it because it conflicts with a project management class. It also means I'll be carrying a journal with me everywhere. In down moments I'd like to just open my mind and start putting words on paper.
Five is a good number. Other things for 2012, which aren't really goals is to continue with the Sunday dinners and cooking. Those are tasks to me now not goals!
Here's hoping you all have a fantastic 2012. You are the one who controls whether that happens. Bad things may happen, feel them, recognize them and move on to the good.
So 2012...
Welcome!
Before we get into the serious stuff. Last nights celebration was epic. Well, as epic as one can get in their 40's. The Pantry Goat had decided she wanted to leave about 10:30PM so we had to do out NYE photo before she left. Turns out after this photo was taken, she stayed until after midnight. I think she secretly just wanted to were the big dunce caps I bought. 
Happy New Year from Chez Jenn's!
LTR: Mr.&Mrs.Landlords, Blueberry, Pantry Goat, New Guest w/o a nickname...oh, we can call him The Dutchman, and moi! If you look close to my left hand you'll see a little Pink...that's Puck.
Here are my 2011 goals and how I did with them...because I know you care.
1. Financial Freedom! -Turns out being out of debt is fun. And while I still use my credit cards, they are getting paid off monthly. Only remaining debt is Sparky, and well, that's not debt to me.
2. Photography! - I think this blog shows I kept up my end of photographing the life and times of Jenn and Puck. However, I did make myself go out and actually practice my craft. And, in case you remember back to January 2011 I signed up for Project365. As for this morning, that chapter is closed. I went out with the PhotoGods and shot as much as I can. I took a couple photography classes and subsequently practiced what I learned. All in all, I nailed this goal, I think.
3. Travel! - My actual goal was three weekend trips, or mark 3 things off the "bucket list" of things to do and see in the Seattle area. Turns out having 100 days off in the summer, and buying a convertible helps with this goal. Trips included: Bellingham, Victoria, Ellensburg, Ginkgo Petrified Forest ("forest" isn't what I'd call it. I called it the Death March of 2011.), and 4 trips to Tucson.
4. Build relationships! - There's a bunch of old friends I wanted to make a significant effort to reconnect with. Facebook has helped to some degree, but it wasn't quite as much as I had hoped. I did rekindle a relationship or two and made an effort to keep in touch with some very specific friends that I had been neglecting. I could have done more with this one and may have to consider adding it to 2012 goals.
5. Personal Growth! - I didn't mean my physical size, but my mental size. I won't go into too much detail here, but I did discover a few things about me that I specifically and with intention changed. I was also able to identify some behavior issues I needed to fix...and did to some extent, but will continue now that I know what they are.
6. Sunday Dinners! - It goes without saying that I did 12 fantastic Sunday dinners. This moves off the goal list and becomes a tradition.
7. Read 35 books! - I read 57. Notice I didn't say "Read 35 good, deep, thought provoking, books." Of the 57 I think about 4 were photography books, 3 were project management and marketing, one was a financial book, the rest...all just entertaining books.
8. Find a new fundraiser! - Check. Cookbooks were a big success. Not only did I have a blast making them, but we did about $800 in fundraising. At the end of the day, I think we could have done more, and we will. Being a project manager I did a quick little "what-worked-what-didn't" exercise. Bottom line, charge more!
Phew!
Now what's on deck for 2012?
1. Scrapbooking! I'd like to do a couple things here. First, get all caught up again, and make an effort to stay caught up. Second is to stop buying new scrapbook stuff and really use what I have. God knows I could open my own scrapbook store.
2. Photography! Yes this is a constant focus (pardon the pun) of mine. This year, I'm doing Project365 again, and this year I'm doing themes each month. In addition, I want to work on taking photos with a flash, taking candids, and learning Photoshop Elements more.
3. Finances! This year's focus is on saving. And saving big. Maxing out the 401K, and putting at least 3 months of salary in the bank. Finally, once that's done, start investing somewhere.
4. Health! I'm not quite sure what this looks like yet. I know I want to drink more water, take my vitamins more regularly, and start moving more. What all that entails I'm not quite sure. I just know now that I've written it, I can start planning and doing something about making myself a bit more healthy.
5. Write more! I love writing. Some think I'm good at it. Some think I stink at it. I think I'm just average. I have spurts of great writing, and it's those spurts I want to work on. I bought myself a book called 1,000 Prompts. It has, well, 1,000 ideas of things to write about. I want to try to write something besides the blog at least twice a month. I've signed up for a creative writing class, but have to move it because it conflicts with a project management class. It also means I'll be carrying a journal with me everywhere. In down moments I'd like to just open my mind and start putting words on paper.
Five is a good number. Other things for 2012, which aren't really goals is to continue with the Sunday dinners and cooking. Those are tasks to me now not goals!
Here's hoping you all have a fantastic 2012. You are the one who controls whether that happens. Bad things may happen, feel them, recognize them and move on to the good.
