Guilt, Fear, and Making Bad Decisions

I think it's safe to say that we've all felt guilt, fear and we've all made bad decisions in our life.  I've come to a recent conclusion related to all three of these that I'd like to share with you. They're related, by a shoe string, but related all the same.

First things first...STOP FEELING GUILTY.

Unless you've done something horrible, stop beating yourself up over things.

I had a conversation yesterday with a friend about feeling guilty about not doing things around her house. Finally, after not sleeping because of the guilt and the strain it puts on her marriage, she and her husband decided to stop it all. They gave themselves permission to NOT feel guilty over not getting everything on their list done.

And who likes house projects anyhow?

What I realized while listening to her was how quickly I feel guilt over things that are really not that big of deal, and certainly aren't worth the effort to feel guilty over.

I'm talking, of course, about making bad food decisions. Or not getting to the gym like I promised myself. Or having that cookie at 2pm instead of an apple.  Or not getting a phone call to an old friend made. The truth is, I shouldn't beat myself up over these things. It takes away some of my soul I think. I spend more time spinning over these small things, that I can't move forward.

Thankfully, I can, and do, stop myself and just let it go (who of you just started singing the Frozen song?)

The problem with "letting it go" is sometimes that's followed by fear. What if "letting it go" means I'm going to die at an earlier age because I ate that cookie AND didn't get to the gym. 

And thus starts the gerbil wheel of worry. That's an entirely different blog though.

The other element here is the worry and guilt over making bad decisions. I have known people who have paralyzed themselves into making NO decision because of fear of making a bad decision.

Here's the thing, it's been my experience that the two things I need to make a decision over are never really bad options. I usually have to choose between relatively similar or good options, so why would I concern myself that I'd make a bad decision?

Granted, you should do your research. You should make sure you know all the pros/cons of each side, but if you're already at the "decision" point, then something got you there to make that choice, and that something most likely isn't bad.

I think it’s easy to fall into the trap of telling ourselves one choice is good and the other is bad. I've tortured myself during planning for vacations over which local would be the "right choice". When, at the end of the day, choosing between Rome or Istanbul- I mean really how could either of those locations be bad?

So here's my plan/goal, and maybe advice to you. Stop sweating the small stuff.

I'm happy I'm getting to the gym as much as I have been. Is it perfect? Nope. Not even close. Will it be? Maybe. I have to remind myself that adding exercise to my daily life isn't going to happen over night. Losing weight isn't always going to happen instantly. Slow and steady...stay the course. That's what I remind myself often. (My goal really should be to remind myself of that BEFORE I work myself up into a guilt ridden lather).

I need to remember that guilt has no home in my heart.  Fear should only be an emotion I feel when a bee buzzes by. And bad decisions, I've made a few...but I survived them and probably turned out better because of them.

So give yourself a break. Stop the cycle. Start giving yourself permission to exist ...