Numbers don't lie

I was having some health concerns and finally decided I needed to get back on the wagon of healthy eating. Last time I did, I lost no weight and was super frustrated. It made me think I had a thyroid issue. It seems every woman my age or older does, so why not me?

It took weeks...WEEKS... to get an appointment. When I finally did the doctor had an emergency and I got cancelled.

Then a happenstance conversation with a co-worker hooked me up with a clinic in Woodinville that specializes with overweight people. The doctors and nurses there are trained specifically to help overweight folk. My thought was the same as to why I go to a female doctor...surely she knows more about a female body?

At any rate, my first visit there we discussed what my goals were, my issues, any medical stuff and oh yah, a blood draw for good measure. One of my major issues was I was sick and tired with thinking about food all the time.

That day the doctor put me on phentermine. A drug that helps with any cravings, or thinking about eating at all. It was part of the Phen-Phen craze of the 80's...only this was the good half of that crazy.  It also pushes serotonin through your body to keep you from being depressed. The first couple of days on it, food was the LAST thing on my mind. In fact, I ate less than 900 calories those days. NOT the way I want to do this.

I finally got into a rhythm and was able to grocery shop for decent ish food. The last couple of days last week were pretty good. I love 5Lbs that week.

On Friday of last week they asked me to do the BodPod thing, which I think I already wrote about...So those numbers in hand, I went in for a check up appointment. The Dr. had my blood work back and it was time to get serious.

Here's what I learned:

• My metabolism is actually quite high. Which is weird considering...
• My cholesterol is good at 161, though the "good" cholesterol could be a bit better.
• No thyroid issue
• My potassum is quite high. 5.4 when the range is 3.5 - 5.3. We'll be watching this number. She's not overly concerned with it and had a reasonable explanation as to why.
• My glucose was elevated - 105 when the range is 70-99. She's not overly concerned with it either and thinks an improved diet and exercise will see that number go down. I am not at the pre-diabetic range...yet. 
• My insulin was elevated too. She's concerned that I may be insulin resistant and she went into a long explanation about why that would be bad. Again, we're going to watch that number and see. 
• Lastly, my vitamin D was L-O-W. 14. The range is 30-80. So lucky me gets to on some prescribed Vitamin D pills (50,000 ibus) for a couple of months. She said this is pretty common in Seattle. To which I said, "You'd think I'd be fine driving around in a convertible." 

So we have my numbers and I have a plan. 1800 calories a day. 105 grams of protein and only 50 grams of carbs (almost impossible I think). I'll continue on the phentermine for now and we'll revisit it in 3 months.

I'm both encouraged and discouraged with all this. I'm tired of the fight. I'm tired of the constant battle between me and food. My relationship with food has never been healthy and I'm full of hope (which really could be the phentermine - which I call my "happy pills") for what this might bring.

The sad, and a bit scary, realization is there will never be an end to this. There in lies the rub. The diet industry has done a good job telling us that it's only "temporary". The truth is healthy eating, and living is a way of live. I will never be "done". It'll be easier, sure. But there is no end date. And that, my friends, makes me tired to even think that.

Thankfully I have my happy pills that just lift me right back up.