Reclining

Something weird happened about 4 years ago. Something I never would have imagined I would be a part of. Something I thought happened to old people. Something my family talks about all the time. 

I fell asleep in my new recliner and slept all night. 

You're probably thinking that happens to a lot of people because, come on, recliners are snoozers. 

The next night it was a very hot night and my room on the third floor was ridiculously hot. In order to sleep I decided to go downstairs and sleep in the recliner. 

The next night? The same. 

Then again. And again. And before I knew it I was sleeping in the recliner every singly night. I was getting the best sleep. I wasn't getting up multiple times to pee. It was amazing. 

I happened to mention it to my BFF and she, of course, thought it was weird. I mean, it is. 

Then eventually it got out to the immediate family and close friends. 

Something weird then happened. Every time I'd see these people they'd ask, "Are you still sleeping in the recliner?" And I'd say yes and they'd just shake their head, in, what I assumed was disapproval. It got to the point where I almost wouldn't want to answer honestly. I knew they wanted me to say, "Oh no! I moved back upstairs."

Then I got to wondering, why do they care? And more, why do I care why they care?  I didn't, and don't see anything wrong with it. I was sleeping better. My back didn't hurt as much. The demons slept through the night. It was a win win to me. 

In 2020 I moved. A part of that move was getting rid of the recliner. I'll admit I was a little worried how I was going to sleep in my bed again. It felt like I was a child being told your security blanket is being tossed. I still would have my couch and loveseat that reclined, but those would be different and maybe it was time I started sleeping in my big girl bed. 

I knew I needed a new mattress, and I suspect that was part of why sleeping in my own bed wasn't comfortable. So when I moved, I bought a mattress topper. And vowed to sleep in my bed. 

For the most part I was doing it. And I felt oddly proud. Then the heat dome happened. There was no way last June when temps were in the hundreds or higher during the day and the night the house not getting below 90 that I was going to sleep on the third floor. If the second floor was 90 the third floor would be 5 degrees hotter. So I started sleeping on the loveseat recliner. 

Since then it's been a little of both. I tend to come downstairs about 1 or 2 am and sleep the rest of the night downstairs. The heat dome was part of it, the other part is the demons are so damn rambunctious at night that I can't fall asleep. In order to get any sleep I have to come downstairs. Then both those jerks get on my lap and fall asleep. Yes, I'm very aware they have trained me. 

What amuses me is I almost celebrate and pat myself on the back when I sleep in the bed for the whole night for several nights in a row. As if somehow I've achieved a next level in a game. And when I slip and sleep downstairs again I reset and have to start all over. 

I've been ok with all of this, by the way. I feel like I get as good of sleep if I stay upstairs or come downstairs. Honestly, when I sleep downstairs I don't get up during the night. I sleep all the way through. And it doesn't hurt my back in any way. 

Anyhow, the point of this blog. The family has long since stopped asking me. I stopped bringing it up and just dropped it. Then Wednesday one of my family members said something that really bothered me. It was an overly "mothering" type of comment and I felt like a child who didn't know what was right or wrong. And somehow felt ashamed for sleeping downstairs. Which is ridiculous I know, but it hit me a little wrong. 

I doubt her comments are going to change anything I do, but I gotta say it crosses my mind when I'm trying to decide if I'm coming downstairs or not. Some nights I swear the reclining loveseat is calling to me. Some night I'm just too lazy, or sleepy to bother. The demons are all shades of confused and some nights they are better upstairs than others. 

At the end of the day, I will likely continue as I have been. Deciding each night where I'll sleep. I promise you as it gets hotter I'll be downstairs more. And I'll be fine with it. 

Morale of the story: Stay in your lane. And don't talk to your family about where you sleep.