Twenty Years Later

This weekend I spent some time with my BFF getting caught up. She'd been off at a conference for a week and we hadn't really seen each other before she left. 

As we sat chatting about nonsense, she says, "It's been 20 years this Wednesday."

I didn't even have to ask what she meant. I was immediately sent back 20 years to the day she called to tell me she had cancer. My heart sinks just thinking about that day. 

She'd been diagnosed with breast cancer! How? We're in our 30s? How could this be happening? 

What followed that diagnosis in April of 2003 was months of treatment that included multiple appointments, side-effect so horrible they were unimaginable, sadness, anger, more appointments, more side effects, etc? 

Sherrie and her brother the night she had to shave her head. 
He shaved his with her.

I knew immediately that she was going to need some significant support. We had a pretty good friend / family base, but something had to be organized. I knew I couldn't be the person to help "clean" her wounds or be able to take her to every appt, so I got to work organizing. That I can do.

 

I had people lined up to take her to appoints, to bring food, to sit with her, to help in any way we could. I kept myself at arms length to what was really going on. I couldn't deal with it. 

I knew it was about her and should be all about her. But I also knew I had to keep myself "healthy" to be able to help in any way I could. It wasn't until years later, and a lot of reflection, that I realized I was actually pretty (and irrationally, pissed at her. How dare she almost die on me? It was dark times for her and for me. She felt me pulling away, but didn't have the strength to deal with it. 

We've since talked about all of that. I'm not sure she fully understands where I was coming from, but at least we've communicated. 

Anyhow, back to 20 years later! If I'm being honest, I wasn't convinced we'd be here. For years after I worried that each doctor appt would result in bad news. She was holding her breath after each follow up and only after a positive phone call would she breath normal again. It was hard to watch. 

Eventually, that fear dissipated. It never went away for her (or for me). It got easier and less anxiety, but I think once you've gone through that type of trauma, there's always something there. 

She's celebrating in her own way this huge milestone and I'm here to cheer her on for another 20 years. 

Que Pasa?

Hello and welcome to another, what feels like, monthly update on the Life of Jenn. I figured it's a good time to do a Currently list. I've not done one for a long time, and this really does cover what's happening in my little world. 

Currently:

Reading:

Every year I have a goal to read 50 books (or 15,000 pages). Every year, I get behind somehow and have to play catch up. This year is no different. When I need to catch up, I need quick, easy, but interesting, reads. 

In 2009 I started earing Charlain Harris Aurora Teagarden series. I got hooked on Charlain Harris thanks to her True Blood series. I was thrilled to see she wrote other series. Aurora Teagarden was super enjoyable to read. So I decided to reread them. In the last month, I've read 7 books. That will get me closer to my goal. What's great about them? I don't really remember any of the stories so it's like reading them for the first time.

Eating

I went through my summer slump in June. I really don't know why, but when June comes around I don't want to cook at all. I made a whoppin 8 new recipes in June - when my average is 13, that just feels like I fell short to keep up my average. But June is over (and so is July) and I'm getting back into the swing of cooking again. I've made 105 new recipes this year. While I didn't have an official goal - the unofficial goal is 150 again. 

Drinking

Ice Mochas! After 2 years, wait - 3 years, of working from home, I finally cleaned out and set up my Nespresso. I had it out since I moved, but didn't really have it set up. So one afternoon I figured I'd pull out the coffee sideboard and plug it in so it'd always be available. 

I inadvertently discovered a cat toy graveyard in the process. 

Now that we have that all cleaned out, I also bought some expresso shot glasses to pull a 5oz shot. Just about every day now I've made myself an ice mocha. I've finally got it down the the exact measurements of espresso, chocolate, milk and ice. 

Feeling

Anxious! Our Portugal trip is quickly approaching and I don't feel like I'm ready for the hills that I've heard about in Portugal. 

One side of me says, it's fine. You'll be fine. The other side of me does not want to be tired from hills. So I've started walking up and down the hill by my house. It's a small hill, but a hill all the same. I figured I I can walk up that hill in the heat of the day and actually be OK at the top, that's progress. 

Loving

My new past time. Coloring. I was cleaning out a drawer and I found my coloring pad and markers. So each night I've done a little coloring. It's quite relaxing...and not at the same time. I'm very critical of myself if I go out of the lines. 

Listening

On occasion I turn on Pandora when I'm working, especially if I'm doing something that doesn't require a lot of concentration. I was bored with my stations on Pandora so I started poking around. I came across Country 90's radio. This was when I actually listened to country music and hearing some of those songs brought back good memories. 

Working

Let's not talk about work WORK. Let's talk about fun work, like scrapbooking. I've been pounding through my projects this year and really focusing on a technique called Layering. I've taken a series of design classes from my favorite celebrity scrapbooker and have wanted to put what I've learned to good use. 

The thing is, I'm bored with all the projects. It's a lot to get sucked into a project and then turn around and start another after you've finished. I decided that I'm going to do 5 random pages a week. 

Not only can I practice my layering, but since the photos rarely have any real importance, I can use up all my stash too. 

The projects I've finished this year: 

Converting 12x12 to 8x6 albums:

• Oahu 2003
• Kauai 2003
• England 2007
• San Francisco 2008

New Albums 12x12

• Lugano 2022
• Viking Cruise 2022

New 8x6 Albums

• Niece's wedding
• Nashville
• London 2023
• Sunday Dinners 2022
• Sunday Dinners 2023
• Up to date with 2023 photos
• 10 misc pages

Phew. I'm exhausted just looking at that list. I've scrapped 299 pages this year!

Wanting

I've been wanting to buy some shelving for the garage to organize it a bit more. But instead of buying new shelving, I think I want to use the wire shelving I have in my office that's currently holding all my 12x12 albums. What will I do with my albums you ask? Well, I want two of these book shelves from IKEA. 

I saw in a scrapbook facebook group a woman's scrapbook room and she had these book shelves. They look so nice and way more professional than my wire wracks.  But I think I'll wait and do this for my birthday this year. 

So that's it. That's me and what's been happening in my world.