Story of My Life

I'm sure it's not just me, but when someone around you moves on - passes away really - I'm tossed into a never ending cycle of thinking about my life.  What am I doing? Am I leaving a mark? Am I making a difference? Have I made a difference? What stories will be told around the circle of friends at my memorial? Are they all good?

I think it was 9th grade when we had to write our obituaries in English class.  I wish I still have that paper. I wonder if what I wrote as an insecure teen age girl in any way reflects who I am today.

So many things that happen in our lives make us who we are. I do, to some degree, have control over this. What I don't really control too much is how much ONE person may change my life.  And it may not always be for the better.

For example, in 4th grade, I was hanging out with this girl named Anna De Guzman.  We were "best" friends - or so I thought.  Turned out she was nothing but trouble and started pulling me down that path of trouble maker.  Getting caught writing on the neighbors house with crayons redirected my path - or you could say the MomUnit and the DadUnit redirected my path.

Anna was banned from my life. I was no longer allowed to hang out with her or be friends. At the time I was devastated, but now I think about where my life might have gone had I not had parents who cared enough to redirect me.

Then there was Mike Greene.  When he passed away over a year ago, I again thought of my mortality.  He's my age for heaven's sake, how could he die? Listening to all the stories told about him and our days at TASIS it was clear he was a very loved person.  Again, I wondered, what would they say about me?

Then there was BigBro.  Who doesn't have a story about him? I mean my goodness, that man knew everyone and everyone knew him.  Not an unkind word has been said about him (I'm sure he was no saint though).  The stories we told this past weekend about him were ones of sparkle, happiness, and love.  EVERY.....SINGLE....PERSON....said he gave the best hugs.

So here I am again thinking about what people would say.  I'm tempted to re-write my obit just to see what I "think" people would say. 

My life hasn't been fascinating by comparison to some. But at the end of the day, I really have had a charmed life on so many levels.  I had parents who loved me and cared enough to guide me (Parents - really is the best gift you can give your children). I have friends who make me laugh and make me cry. I've been educated. I've traveled. I've had so many ups and probably twice as many downs. I really can't complain.

Soon in book club we'll be reading Annie Freeman's Fabulous Traveling Funeral. The story is a simple one with complex human emotions. Annie dies and her last gift to her best friends is she sends them on a traveling funeral to places that made Annie who she was.  At each stop the friends learn just a little more about her. 

Here's my challenge...I want to think about who I'd send and where/why.  I think there are very significant points in my life that really changed who I am. Good or bad, they had a direct impact on me.

What's the story of your life? Is it one of worth?