Thanksgiving and Grief

Thanksgiving has come and gone. While it's a holiday to celebrate being thankful, it's the toughest holiday for me (Christmas a close second). Mom and I had so many traditions and memories around cooking together that I find myself every hour wanting to call her. 

This year was a bit different, in a good way. I was more reflective on memories and more appreciative of those fabulous memories. 

Losing mom is the hardest experience I've had. People warned me about the grief and how it hits you upside the head when you least expect it. That crap is no lie. 

After not being able to call mom on Thanksgiving got me thinking about all the other times I want to call Mom and can't. 

1. When I need to know that I am doing okay in life.
2. I need to bi*** about my really crappy day at work. She was the only one who would listen without all that judgment. Oh who are we kidding, she'd totally judge me.
3. Sometimes I just need to vent about the gossip that I am WAY too old to still be dealing with.
4. When I need a coffee date (virtually) with the person who was ALWAYS supposed to be there.
5. When I've gotten a raise, or a promotion at work.
6. I really wish I could take her shopping or a spa day or some fancy dinner... anything to pay her back for all the things she's done for me!
7. When I just can’t seem to get in right in any of my relationships.
8. I need her to tell me how to be the bigger person when my friends are all being petty.
9. When life has gotten way too overwhelming and I just can’t seem to hold it together anymore.
10. I need her encouragement when I feel like everyone is doing better than me.
11. When everything seems to be falling apart.
12. The times I really need a firm kick in the ass!
13. Her words of wisdom are sometimes the only thing I need at a certain time.
14. When Careless Whispers comes on the radio/iPod and listen to her tell the story of leaving Quartz Hill and how I cried all the way to Bakersfield playing this song over and over.
15. When I need complete upfront and brutal honesty.
16. I wish I could call when I need someone to put my head back on straight.
17. When I just need the comfort of my best friend.