My New Hardware

I'm furious!

I'm furious that I now have this!

That my friends is a Glucometer! It checks your blood sugar levels. Which you means that I now have the big D. I wrote about this in May and have since been coming to grips (albeit not very well) with what this means. 

I knew I'd have to start taking my blood sugar, and I'm actually ok with that. What I'm NOT ok with is how my brain interprets the results. 

I feel like a failure if its too high. To be honest, it hasn't been "low" since I started this (which has only been a week). My diabetes counselor said that I should expect the numbers to stay high for now. But the data point will help us manage the diabetes.

What he didn't tell me is that I'd be pissed when it high for no apparent reason! 

I ate like a good girl yesterday. And by that I mean, I paid close attention to what I ate and whether it had a high glycemic number. I was relentless yesterday watching. 

This morning my blood sugar was 171! ONE SEVENTY ONE! Ridiculous. It should have been less than 150 based on the way it was going. I know I need to get it way down to like 120 ish, but baby steps. 

So, fine. I'll keep taking my blood sugar, but I'm telling you if it doesn't start shaping up I'm going to throw a tantrum and eat something I shouldn't.