I Got Tail and I'm a Faster Sucker

Oh.

My.

God.

I know I've said it before, and I believe at the time I meant it, but my friends....last nights Dudley Manlove show Rocked the Casbah in a BIG way. The boys have been on fire before, but man, I needed a cold shower after the show - their performance was H.O.T.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's begin at the beginning of the night when I took a nose dive down a flight of stairs in the parking garage at the Triple Door. That was a good time. I decided to take the stair case out of the parking garage - assuming the elevator would smell like old man and urine. I was wrong. The stair case smelled like .. well... it smelled. I took one step in a rush to get down two flights of stairs and my shoe decided to slide down the next two. In order to save myself I tossed myself all the way down (okay I didn't make that decision, gravity did for me). At the bottom of the stair well all I could think was, "ick" god only knew what had been on that floor.

Taking a quick inventory to make sure nothing was broken or hurt - but my pride - I gathered myself and tried the door. Locked! "oh hell no," was what went through my mind. So I went one flight lower and found the unlocked door. Could you imagine me being locked in a stair well that smelled and missing the entire show? I would have cried.

The Triple Door wasn't open yet so we hoofed it up the street to the Wild Ginger. Now those of you not from Seattle, The Wild Ginger and The Triple Door share a kitchen, but are different venues. AND The Wild Ginger is a premier eatery in Seattle. I've never actually been through their doors, but last night we sat in the bar and I ordered a very dirty martini. Shaken not stirred. I think I figured the alcohol would remove all the nasty-ies that I encountered in the stair well. .

Off to the Triple Door we went to have another FANTASTIC meal and more drinks. Two Jack & Cokes later the show began. I realized then I didn't bring my camera. My god! Me...Jenn W - Their Biggest Fan Ever - sitting just inches from them and I don't have my F#$% camera! And so the result was me having to use my camera phone. The photo to the right was a result of a couple of drinks, and trying to take a picture with my camera phone. Funny, no?)

Our seat was - well - one suited for the Biggest Dudley Fan Ever (namely me) (aka: DMQ Stalker). We were in the first row of tables and to the left of the stage. My Mr. Jensen was 4 feet from me. FOUR FEET! And my goodness did he belt out the songs.

In case you didn't' know this was the CD recording party. They are about to release their third CD and this show was to be the recording of that CD. So naturally, Nancy, Mike and I made noises to hopefully ensure we would be on the CD.

Now, why the title? Well, during our appetizers (coconut shrimp and kick ass pot stickers) Nancy took a bite of her shrimp, turned to me and said, "Do you want a little tail?" Which now sober doesn't seem nearly as funny as it did last night. Immediately following that comment the waiter (who was H.O.T and funny - which is a good combination - and our waiter for the New Year's Eve party too by the way) delivered the second Jack and Coke. This time I had two straws, by comparison to the first drink which had one small straw. I turned to Nancy and said, "look, now I'm a faster sucker". Anyhow, trust me it was funny.

So what did the boys record? I give you the list - which I was shocked and stunned that I could remember. They opened with Xanadu (Olivia Newton John) and closed with Billie Jean (Michael Jackson)...and in between I could name each new song in two notes.

Xanadu - Olivia Newton John
December 1963 - Frankie Valle
Hooked on a Feeling - Blue Suede
Rock me Gently - Andy Kim
Mrs. Jones - Er ah...?
Never Gonna Give you Up - Rick Astley
I love the night life - Alicia something or other
Right Back Where we Started - Maxine Nightingale
Take on Me - Aha
Hold Me Now - Thompson Twins
Turn to Stone - ELO
Centerfold - JGiles Band
Barbarella - from that Jane Fonda movie
Time - Culture Club
Little Red Corvett - Prince
Don't Leave me this way - Thelma Houston
She's Not There - The Zombies
Does your Mother know - ABBA
Escape (the Pina Colada Song)
Billie Jean - Michael Jackson
How Do you Like your Love - Andrea True (I think - it was some porn star who made this song)
So the theme of the songs all night seemed to be love and sex...and to add to that theme we had a genuine stripper on the dance floor in front of us. Well, okay to be honest we really can't confirm she's a stripper...but had there been a pole any where around, she would have fit the bill. Which I kept asking Mike if he had any one's he could give her.

Anyhow...I can't wait for the CD. And considering the week I had, I needed the DMQ break.

RIP

The following is very sad. Please read it with respect and imagine a sad, story telling reading this to you.

Its been a very sad, sad week for me. I lost something near and dear to my heart. Its been a struggle all week to cope with such a loss, but I'm managing. Technical support, friends and family are helping me deal with this tragedy.

2004 - 2007
Jenn's Work Laptop - may it rest in peace.
It leaves in its wake a terrible loss of data and security of mind that one gets with computers. They are so strong and so stable, that when something this unexpected happens, you're just stuck with asking, "Why?"

It leaves behind cuss words, frustration and a sense of loss that cannot be explained.

Lost in this tragedy is 5 months of project documents, 5 months training notes in OneNote, and all my Internet favorites.

Gone! In an instant! All of it, gone! I'm so sad.

The best part of this sudden death is that it happened on a day I really need to have my laptop available. Not only did I lose a lot of data, but I lost 6 hours of work time which put me behind. Once I did receive a "temporary" laptop to work on, it didn't have any software aside from IE on it. So another hour later, I can actually work...sorta.

Loss of data = loss of productivity

But if one thing has been learned by this tragedy, its that our company has no "official" back up system in the US. And I, being of faithful heart towards technology, am left with this nagging feeling that I should have backed-up on my own. A mistake, I assure you, I will not repeat.

And in the mean time, I'm left in computer hell. In limbo land with my computer. The powers that be are trying to decide if to replace the hard drive in the old laptop, or just get me a new one (keep in mind we have three new ones just sitting here doing nothing). Stay tuned!

*******************
And in other news, more happier news. I got to go to a Seattle Mariner's game last night with GalPal Margo who scored EXCELLENT, (and free) tickets. We didn't much watch the game really mostly due to the distraction of multiple cute guys around (Me thinks sporting events might be a way to meet guys - well, except they'd be all too busy watching the sporting event to notice such staggering beauty as I near by - damn men). And Margo had the unfortunate luck of running in to former Crush who was with another - more trampy - woman. But all was not lost, except for the Mariners - they lost - we had lots of chatty time, lots of beer and good food/peanuts. AND, I picked the right hat during the hat trick, and the right hydro to win the hydro races, BEFORE the games began. (These are silly computer animated games to entertain the fans during the change on the field).

And tomorrow night is the DMQ CD Recording show. I am soooo very excited. I can't wait to see the boys deliver an excellent show. They will be rocking the house in my favorite venue, the Triple Door.

Happy Mom's Day, Mom

Mom is still in Tucson (long story as to why she and dad haven't made their trek North) so I won't get to actually celebrate Mom's Day with her...in fact it has been years since we've celebrated Mom's day together.

Mom's are funny creatures. I'm VERY fortunate to have a mom who's my best friend. She knows everything, well almost everything...I have to keep some secrets for the BFF only. Her and I have an odd bond in that we think the same, do the same things, say the same things, and frequently...and I mean frequently, call each other at the same time.

We have a funny, inside joke when signing off from IM to say "lubya" instead of luvya. And its all because she and I both misspelled it one time when signing off. Now it just feels normal.



So Mom, on this Mother's Day I give you this.



Mama thank you for who I am
Thank you for all the things I'm not
Forgive me for the words unsaid
And for the times I forgot
Mama remember all my life
You showed me love, you sacrificed
Think of those young and early days
How I've changed
Along the way (along the way)

And I know you believed
And I know you had dreams
And I'm sorry it took all this time to see
That I am where I am because of your truth
And I miss you , I miss you
Mama forgive the times you cried
Forgive me for not making right
All of the storms I may have caused
And I've been wrong
Dry your eyes (dry your eyes)

Cause I know you .... Mama I hope this makes you smile
I hope you're happy with my life
At peace with every choice I made
How I've changed Along the way (along the way)
Cause I know you believed in all of my dreams
And I owe it all to you, mama


I was going to post the video, but then I realized the meaning behind this song in the video was a bit "different" and not what I intended for my mom. But if you're so inclined to hear the song and ignore the message in the video, click here. I mean it is, after all, Il Divo...and that's just yummy no matter how you slice it!

Poor Widdle Man in the back row

Every time. Every time I teach this project management class, there is some guy (and sorry fellas, but its ALWAYS a guy) who knows more than me. Now, I'm not saying I'm all smarty pants and all, but this particular class is a PM overview of a program at a local community college. While Mr. Smarty Pants in Row 3 *may* know more PM stuff (though he's not a PMP so I doubt it) (that's all I got), he certainly, and I mean 100% certainly, doesn't know more about the local college's program. That is why they have me, up front, teaching it (or spouting off information).

You all know this guy too. He's the one who makes comments about things without actually making sense. He's the one who has to ask a question, even though he knows the answer, because he wants you to think he's smart. He's the one who checks his reflection in every reflecting surface he can find. Yah, Hi - not so cute when you open your big fat mouth.

But, I do have to say, I was very proud of the restrain I had from telling this guy where he could put his Pimp Daddy Smug ass self.

And you know the worst part, he and his attitude made me forget what I was really going to blog about.

Bastard! He is definitely not on my list of date-able male species in the greater Seattle area.

Though on that front, Boeing Boy never ever got back in touch with me. His loss. Besides he called me Sexy and I'm pretty sure that's inappropriate when he doesn't even know my first name. Got hit by three other eligible "things" today (I have to call them "things" because from what I gathered in their profile and writing ability, I would say they have an IQ of a thing. What? I'm just saying...) Though these "things" were from Ohio, Canada and Texas. COME ON PEOPLE!!!! My profile specifically says within TWENTY FIVE miles from me. I'm pretty sure, though its been a while since I've actually checked, that OHIO isn't within 25 miles of me. So I did what any gorgeous geeky girl would do...I mapquested it to find out just how far they were from me....dumbasses..

Ohio / Columbus

(he didn't actually say Columbus, but that was the only city I could think of this quickly in Ohio).

From the "hood" to Columbus: Two Thousand Four Hundred and sixty six miles (2,466). NOT 25 ... But here's the interesting thing about Mapquesting this, I didn't have an address in Columbus OH, so I just said "Columbus Ohio", yet Mapquest ends my trip on E. State Street. I have no idea where that is, well - except its in Columbus OH.

Texas / Houston

(that right there says it all - they don't grow them smart down there - even though I was born there, I got out before the smarts escaped through my mouth via an accent)

From the "hood" to Houston: Two Thousand Four Hundred and fifty (or fiddy) six miles (2,456). NOT 25! Though interesting that its only 10 miles less to go to Houston than Ohio...so Houston's winning out so far. And on my trip to Houston (which will take 35 hours or 12 in a Mustang) I do get to pay tolls along the way and go through part of Wyoming...oh goody.

Canada / Montreal
Two thousand, eight hundred and thirty-seven miles (2,837) ... Whatever...who wants to go to Canada anyhow...AND they speak French there. I don't speak so good french. (you have to say that with a french accent because its funnier that way. At least it was funny in my head).

See what a kick ass PM I am. My risk analysis tells me that online dating is for the birds...and I should mitigate that risk by going to see SpiderMan this weekend and drink some wine.

You know its Monday when...

You're asked to schedule a conf call with all the parties. And all the "parties" are located all over the world, UK, India, Columbia, Spain and Seattle. I think I'll just go home and sleep this one off.

Think Blogger? Me?

As promised, here are my 5 blogs that I'm nominating for a Think Blogger.

1. OnePath - Ken is the person most responsible for me blogging. He's married to my friend Vicky and so the two started this blog. The plan was to have both of them write about their wedded bliss. Instead, Vicky only rarely shows up and Ken spends his wheels posting politics and updates to his fabulous books he's writing.

2. Break Up Babe - Sparkly Sparkly - I've been a long time reader of BreakUp Babe. I even read her book. She's truly a mentor to me for the world of dating. She's recently stopped posting to BreakUp Babe and started her new blog SparklySparkly.

3. Patron Saint of Smart Mouths - I know the Patron Saint nominated me, but I do consider her blog one of the bests. Her wit and her ability to get me laughing is worthy to me for a nomination.

4. Everybody Else is Doing it - FreakMagnet launched into my spectrum by posting a comment to my blog. I was stunned at first that someone outside my immediate family and friends was reading my blog, but in turn I found myself reading her entire blog - from start to finish. She cracks me up.

5. Klieg Light - 99% of the time I have to read and re-read the posts on this site. And 99% of the time, I still don't understand what he's talking about, but I do find many of the posts funny and educational. Oh and I know you're wondering why the hell I would continue reading a blog I don't understand...well it belongs to the xCrush.

The rules behind this Thinking Blogger Thing are as follows:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.

2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.

3. Optional: Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn't fit your blog).

Weekends sometimes suck....

So the weekend was kinda a bust. And by kinda I mean just a little.

Friday night Blueberry and I met in Ballard to have dinner and go see the boys of the Sh*tKickers. They were performing at a dive of a spot, the Salmon Bay Eagles club in Ballard. I've been to this venue before and I have to say...it redefines dive.

But before we get to that part of the story, the before the show was fun. We got down there early and so decided to wonder through some of the fun shops in Ballard. In one shop, the owner and clerk were two older women who were cracking us up. They were blasting disco and just having a helluva good time. As we were leaving they commented on my NY Macy's purse. (which by the way, considering it was the cheapest of the purses I bought in the big apple, its the one I get the most comments on). That, of course, started a conversation. Blueberry and I mentioned we were going to dinner. They suggested we go to this fantastic little place called Volterra. We walked in and were seated immediately. At first glance of the menu, I thought, "OH god, its one of those places." Very shee shee with all sorts of things on the menu I'd never order. For example, wild boar. Ick. But I did find a smoked chicken pasta that was OUT OF THIS WORLD. Or more specifically, a "Bowties with Smoked Chicken (Farfalle con Pollo Affumicato) Bowtie pasta tossed with house smoked chicken, mushrooms, asparagus, artichokes, and tomato cream sauce; topped with Quillisascut ’s Soft Goat Cheese"

And coupled with that was a fantastic cab/merlot blend. Blueberry decided to get dessert and I decided to have their homemade lemoncello. Oh...wow. How I love me my lemoncello. I've not had such flavorful lemoncello since my days in Italy.

So now with all the food aside, we headed off to the Salmon Bay Eagles club to watch the boys of DMQ perform as the Sh*tKickers. We opened the door and be-bopped in. Every single person in the bar turned to look at us...silence fell through the place. I didn't think too much of it. Went up to the bar tender and asked if they were open for the show that night. The bar tender said, "What show?" Before I could get in a word, the drunk bar fly at the end of the bar offered to put a show on for us. Declining his tempting offer I explained to the barkeep and he laughed out loud and announced to the place who we were there to see. And in a voice that rocked through the place he announced that we were early...an entire day early. DOH!

Blueberry and I shuffled out of there in a fast pace and laughed at our stupidity.

Today I treated myself to a pedicure. I laughed my way through the entire thing. They are so not relaxing to me. But my toes are sure purdy.

As for the dating scene, no news is good news. I've been trying to hook up with the Boeing Boy and have been unsuccessful. But I'm still finding myself amused with this process. Boys sure can't think with their heads up north. Will they EVER grow up? Ever?

"I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way"

I won't even say I'll hand out kudos for anyone who knows what movie that quote is from. If you don't know, then you don't know me...or movies.

Okay - let's see. First off, Patron Saint kicks ass. She "nominated" me for a Think Blogger award. Apparently she gets all excited when Pookie writes. And because a Patron Saint nominated me I feel so, well - blessed. And in honor of this honor, I'm going to be a practicing Smart Mouth all day/weekend. (No comments from the peanut gallery as to how that's different from normal). I'll put my nominated 5 out this weekend. This is serious business and I must think about it...cuz I'm a Think Blogger. Bahahahaha, look at me, a comedian too.

What isn't so funny is this online dating thing. Oh. My. God.

Number of "smiles" received since last post: a hand full
Number of "smiles" sent: 2 - slim pickings
Number of emails from smiles sent: 2
Number of potential candidates: 2

So this week has showed me that men, in general, really do think with their south pole (if you know what I mean?). One guy, his second IM to me was to provide statistics on his - er ah - manhood. Yah, don't need to know that. And of course, my response was, "that's all. How unfortunate."

Recently, as in today, I was emailed by a young Boeing employee. That should make mom all excited...(hint: she's X Boeing, as is my dad. And well my entire family is Boeing.) His email to me was sweet and quite frankly he hit my ego point. He asked why I was still single...so clearly we're already on the same page. So I'm going to try to hook up with BB (Boeing Boy) this weekend. Cross your fingers.

I did get hit by a smashing young fella from MOROCCO. He must have missed that I was really interested in someone within 25 miles of me...and preferably in the same darn country. Anyhow, his profile read like a long sentence with no punctuation...okay so it was a long sentence. And for your reading enjoyment here it is. (Maybe its bad form to post the bad profiles, but all names have been removed to protect the illiterate)

"hi for every body here really am a man like am now in my pic for me i find my self simple man love the life love to be happy and lough am a man who like foot ball i like it too much i know perhaps any things about foot ball i like also cinema i like to do the works in side house to cook and make it tidy really am searching about awoman who is interesting to be withe me and love me truthfully like i will be love here when we are together really i have my right of charming if u want to know me more contacte me and u will know who am truthful and like i tell u."

Yeah. Lucky me!

My favorite boy profile of the day: If you drink Starbuck's you need not apply.

Well, then I'm out! And I'm wired, so there.

But seriously...? Really? You would not date a girl if she drank Starbucks? I'm telling you, there are plenty of odd balls out there to keep me entertain for at least a couple of weeks.

Update:
One smile has produced a instant message conversation, which had to be cut short due to inappropriate topics being raised almost immediately. Why God made men to think with only the head from the south is beyond me? Surely there's a man out there who can carry on a conversation with a woman he's never met and not introduce that topic yet. Good grief!

Better than Sex...

Day 3 of online dating experience.

Number of "smiles" received: 5
Number of "smiles" sent: 427 (just kidding. - huh? You believed that?) 23
Number of emails from smiles sent: 4
Number of potential candidates: BIG FAT ZERO

What is with men? I mean really. The things that they 1) put in their profile and 2) the photos they put online. I ran into several profiles in which the guy likes to "cuddle". Yah right! Mama's boy! Though perhaps their definition of "cuddling" means sex. Either way...I'll pass. And the photos....my god. Why would you EVER put a photo on an online dating service in which you were standing with a female...and not explain who she is?

I found myself sending "smiles" to guys who's profiles were, or seemed, very straight forward. Where I felt they were being realistic and honest.

So stay tuned, I'm trying to have an open mind about this experience...but the cynical side tends to rule out way too much.

Riddle me this! Riddle me that!

What? What possessessesssesss me to do some of the things I do? I'll tell ya what. The guild from mom. She is the QUEEN of guilt trips. I wonder, when you become a mom, do they take you aside and train you in the art of guilt? They must. I, without having born a child, can't guilt people into anything. But a mother and her guilt trip....

My mother, bless her, has been on my case about "getting out there". I've been fighting it kicking and screaming the whole way. I don't wanna. You can't make me. All that is out there is pain, and heart ache...nothing I'm interested in.

But what if? What if there's more? So I joined... gulp.... wipe sweat from the brow....dry cough...another online dating service. Oh god...save me now!

So in spending a few hours trolling through the "want ads" online I just gotta ask, "What the hell?" The things guys are asking for. PULEEZE! I've "pinged" a few hundred (just kidding) a few...and we'll see. I'm not holding my breath. But a few dates could be fun...and could be blog worthy and entertaining.

See, this is really all about finding new stuff to blog about!

TGIF!

Who doesn't like Fridays? It's the one time you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even knowing full well you'll take your laptop home and attempt to get your Inbox down to at least 100. But still, I'd rather do that in front of the tube, then sitting at my desk.

I started thinking about Fridays and TGIF's today and was immediately taken back to a much happier time in my life. Young and carefree. Friday's were nights to go out. Let loose. Stay up late. Drink. All the celebrate the fact that we could. No one told us then, or if they did we didn't listen, that a day would come when Friday's meant a chance to unwind and get to bed at a decent hour. Who can stay up past 10 on a Friday now? All of you who are under 30 reading this, I warn you...your time is coming. Don't believe me now, because I know you won't. But mark my words on the first Friday day after your 30th birthday, you'll be in bed by 9pm.

When I was growing up my parents had a very strong net of family friends who celebrated Fridays. We did TGIFs at someones house almost every Friday. Frequently it was at our house. Mom and Dad would plan out an excellent meal which usually included a BBQ meat of some type. All their friends would come over, and we'd all have a grand time. Being a teenager, and later a college student, I loved these dinners. While most teenagers would rather be locked in their room plotting their next rebellious action, I loved being out with my parents and their friends. I believe that one of the reasons I love to entertain like I do is because of those TGIFs. What's for dinner tonight Mom? Its Friday!

I've managed to have allergies this year. Last year I had none. This year the pollen count is so high that our cars are covered with the yellow-ish green demons. I just think about it and sneeze. I'm stuffed up, and miserable. But Oprah saved me last night. Flipping through the channels she was showing the use of a Neti Pot. Apparently used to clear out sinus' in a very not obtrusive and healthy way. With warm salt water, you tilt your head and pour the water into a nostril. It transfers through the nasal passage and out the other nostril. It was like stupid human tricks for myself. But man did it ever clean out my nose. In a good way, and not in a gross way. I sorta thought it would feel like drowning, but it didn't. It was just a cleansing that was simple.

So happy sniffling and happy TGIF!

I was kissin' Valentino By a crystal blue Italian stream

Sunday, already. And tomorrow is Monday. Ick! Its not that I don't like work, because I do. Really. It's just that Sunday evening are such a downer to me. It gives me a chance to reflect on what I didn't do this weekend and vow to do something next weekend. Ugh.

Though Friday I had a date. What are you thinking? Not with anyone I actually talk to...no with the DMQ boys. This show the Sh*tKickers opened for the Dudley boys. (Secret: They're the same band minus the keyboardist - who they actually had play with the SK this time so that throws off the difference.) My god they rocked the place. The crowd was amazing. A lot of Dudley fans in the crowd. How do I know? Because there are "dudley lyrics" for some songs and only TRUE Dudley fans know what those are. And this crown knew! I was getting my groove on with every song. I think I must have worked off at least 10000000 calories.

I do have to say though that I got felt up more Friday night then I have in years. The place was packed (and I have a slight anxiety about crowds so it was hard for me to sit still) and we happened to be in direct path to the bathroom. People squeezing past us all night...it got a bit personal. Not that for some of the passer-byer's did I mind...but amazon girl with the GYnormous - um - well boobs...I did sorta mind my face meeting her girls. Not a pretty sight. I'm scarred for life.

I spent a good part of yesterday afternoon at HotWire cafe. I had invited the crush (er ah X crush) to join me, but he didn't. And somehow I knew he wouldn't. But I did meet some friends of another friend there to discuss the PMP exam (because I AM a kick ass PM...). That was fun, but I was enjoying the peace and quiet of the coffee shop before they came. The quiet pounding of the shots being pulled, the screaming child next to me who should be stapled to the roof with a sock in his mouth, the squeely teenage girls discussing ever so important issues like lip gloss, and of course the hum of the computers and the beat of the bad music. Ahhh...what a day.

I am Pookie. Hear me Roar!

The Woman is, IN FACT, crazy. I can prove it. Anyone who laughs uncontrollably over things I don't see as amusing, surely she's crazy.

Case in point.

Last night, the Woman came home (late I might add), rushed in and dropped what appeared to me to be a threat to my danger. Being of the cautious nature (the Woman insists on saying I'm "skittish". Whatever!), I darted off in a safe direction. Unfortunately, my cat instinct miscalculated the direction and distance. My head knocked solidly into sliding glass door. The Woman felt the need to laugh at my miscalculation. I, for one, and my noggin' didn't find it all that amusing.

She also has this annoying habit of laughing at me (I know she's not laughing with me, because I am not laughing) when I find it necessary to stretch my legs and chase my tail. My tail, while attached, does have its own mind and I must put it straight occasionally. At time, I have been known to gracefully fall off the chair or bed in the process. It's all planned. Really it is.

The Woman appears to be going out again tonight. She really needs to stay home and pay attention to me. She neglects me so. For example, this morning she was tip tapping on this lap machine she has while talking on the phone. I kept leaping up on her lap machine announcing myself so as to not frighten her. She would "shoosh" me and put me down. How rude is that? She apparently is going to see some band that apparently is more entertaining than me. I must escape this fortress to investigate this Dudley Manlove situation. Until then, I'll stay held up here politely grooming myself and depositing fur in all necessary locations.

Stupid Brother In Law

My brother in law....what can I say? He's a nut ball. And apparently he's a pilot. A couple of months ago I find out that my brother in law has decided to become a pilot and bought a plane for just that. I am not a huge fan of small planes and joked with him, my sister, and my mom about SBIL (Stupid Brother In law) crashing it. It was a joke, really. Nothing more.

But today, he did just that.

Thankfully, he and his passenger are just fine, minor cuts and bruises. It could have been worse.

The irony to me is that he is a fire man. He does dangerous stuff every day. Like going to the aid of an elderly woman who's fallen and can't get up.

PS
Please don't take any my comments as insensitive. Dan's a smartass and will take it all in stride. I just won't be flying with him anytime soon.

Uesless Pieces of Knowledge

What a day! What a week! I feel so disconnected with my blog these days and I’m never really sure what to write. It’s not like my life is a hot bed of entertainment. I suppose to some I live in the lap of luxury and intrigue (I’d like to meet those people who think that), but really my life has become quite dull. I know I have to spice it up some, but frankly I’ve been lacking the charge to do so.

Follow my favorite Saint’s lead today, I’m just going to give you a random list of thoughts.

Who's reading your blog?
Occasionally I check out on my stat counter how people are finding my blog. Here is a list of search results.
· picture of kinicky from grease
· places to get a propane tank filled around redmond, wa
· gold lamey
· shit on rubber boots
· billyray cyrus on prime time magazine
· what happens when your hemmoraging?
· 200mg of ibuprofen too much for baby?
· seattle bus triple door jealous
· she farted on my leg
I really can’t even explain some of these. But who searches on “she farted on my leg” and why did my blog come up in that search.

Dogs! Pets! You gotta love them.
Co-Worker (QueenID) sent me this URL. I love stupid animal photos or skits. One of my favorite shows is Animals Funniest Animals. Wait. That’s not right…what the hell is it called? Oh Planet’s Funniest Animals, that’s it. I like them because generally speaking (generally speaking, I speak generally) animals are “innocent” in what they do.

STC
I got talked into going to our local STC chapter meeting. Little did I know the crush would be there. Oh, oops. I meant Xcrush. I will never understand boys/men (or fashion for that matter). I start to ignore him and he starts actually paying more attention. The amazing part to me is now, around him, I don’t feel all giddy and school girl like. I actually feel intelligent and –dare I say – normal. Which I take as a good sign, I mean that either a) means I’ve matured or b) I’ve moved on. But have I?

DMQ
Tomorrow night is another round of DMQ. The boys are going to be recording a CD in May. I, being their Biggest Fan Ever (and I don’t me by size – though I’m likely close) started a post on their website about a sneak peek into the songs they plan on recording. They in turn asked me what I had in mind. And then their massive email out to the DMQ fan club basically directed people to my post to add their 2cents. Really no big deal, but it was worth mentioning as random and a piece of useless information.

Starbucks
I am a fan! Don’t really need to explain that. Many of you are right there with me and you know who you are. That being said, I have an issue with a local Starbucks. I’ve boycotted it thinking my $2 is a day is going to sink them. A girl can dream, can’t she? Anyhow, I was patiently waiting in line to order my drink swiftly and move on. Ahead of me: two girls. Behind me: Rat boy! I would say about 12 years of age. Cute kid…but not that cute. Barista #1 starts to take my order. RatBoy steps in front and says he’s in an “awful” hurry. (Yes, he used the word awful). Barista #2 (the shot puller) starts to take down his order. Barista #1 looks on blankly as if the air from her blond head has not disappeared. I, being the cordial pleasant self I am before my coffee basically raises a point here with, “Um I was in line first.” Blank Barista says, “Oh but he’s so cute we can just let him slide by.”

Imagine a facial expression of me dropping my mouth in amazement

You.

Have.

Got.

To.

Be.

Kidding.

Me.

So, I let them have it. Politely and all. I pointed out to Blank Barista and the Shot puller that really what they’ve just taught this young juvenile delinquent is that “cuteness’ gets you everywhere. I then added, that being of the “cute” category myself, I’ve found it almost detrimental in a way.

Whatever! Left Starbucks and went to another one across the street. (What? I live in Seattle. They’re everywhere. That is except when you REALLY want a coffee. Then you can’t find one.)

Let’s see what other types of randomness can I pass on….hmmmmm

Oh right.

Mustang his 10,000 miles. Unbelievable to me.

Oh and a special shout out to Freak Magnet who has been entertaining me all week with “photos’ and “thoughts.” You really are a crack up! I can’t post some of these photos so use your imagination.

And finally, this sent to me from a UK compadre.

Remember your mother telling you, "Never accept candy from a stranger”?

Here's why!

While you were Sleeping(less)...in Seattle

One of my ALL time favorite movies is While You Were Sleeping, followed VERY close by Sleepless in Seattle (which has less to do with this blog, other than useless Jenn information. But you never know when, maybe at a party, you'll need to pull out useless Jenn information).

I digress.

Being that I am now a FTE at CM, I had to fill out all the paperwork. Which included bringing in my passport for "verification" that I'm a US citizen. As if just by my looks they can't tell! Anyhow, every time I pull my passport out or see it in the file, I long to travel. This particular passport is boring...B-O-R-I-N-G! It has but one faint stamp of Mexico in it. My other passport was running out of places to stamp... oh I miss those days. Traveling on mom and dad's dime.

Longing to take a trip, I decided to map out an adventure yesterday. One of my favorite lines in While You Were Sleeping is when Sandra Bullock's character shows Jack her passport. He asks why she carries it with her, and her response is "You never know when you'll need to leave the US immediately." Which is how I decided that I needed to plan an "escape route" out of the US. Just in case! You never know! I, for one, think everyone should have a passport, regardless of ever traveling out of the US. They're fun. And they're blue. Which is not green, and green passports reminds me of my friend MikeG who had a green passport and who let me follow him into Saudi customs and who told the Saudi "official" I was with him which meant because of MG's green passport my suitcase did not get man-handled - thanks Mike.

Back to your previously scheduled show....

Where would I go? Immediately, my mind drifts to happier times in Italy. I'd definitely go to Italy (oh and for the record, I have endless funds for this trip). On my way to Italy though, I'd stop in NY for some purse shopping. Then I'd fly into Southern Italy and hire a driver to take me where ever my little heart desired in southern Italy: Rome, Pompei, Almalfi Coast, Capri. Then we'd travel up the boot stopping at Sorrento, Florence, and all the little wine places we could. Finally ending in Northern Italy, Milan, oh Milan...how I loved that city.

***********Topic Switch ***************
I am now a HUGE fan of Supernatural, the TV show. LOVE that show. I've been catching up on the past two seasons, and thanks to f*cking comcast (or compost as my spell checker suggested) have now missed most of the third season...don't get me started. But in yesterday's shows I watched the best line ever...

Two supposed "ghost" chasers "help" the Winchester boys find a ghost. Both are nerds through and through....or dorks as I like to call them. The scene is they are trying to figure out what their next step would be to capture this ghost on film.


Dork #1: "WWBD?"
Dork #2: " What WOULD Buffy Do?"

I'm going to use that in all my major project mgmt decisions today.

Scenario #1: Can't hit a deadline
Answer: WWBD

Scenario #2: No resource to cover the course
Answer: WWBD

Scenario #3: Where to escape to in case I need to get out of the US ASAP
Answer: WWBD

Mr. AttentionGrabber gets caught

Pookie moment #1034

House Rule #1: NEVER EVER GET UP ON THE COUNTER TOP! EVER!

I get home tonight from a dinner out with the girls. This will be the last dinner out for some time as I’m about to be poor for the month of May. (please make all charitable donations out to me). So in an attempt to save $$, I decided that I’d bring my lunch this entire week, which meant buying tuna. I bought two cans of tuna and opened them to drain them and put them in a Tupperware to take to work tomorrow (all other sandwich makings are at work. I would have had tuna for lunch today, but no can opener). Any how, I digress.

I got home, tired, ready to just drop into bed, but am enthusiastically greeted at the door by Mr. AttentionGrabber. Talking to him, or rather acknowledging him, I remembered my promise to myself. Open the cans of tuna. Drained them. Dropped one can on the floor so Pookie could lick out whatever remained. Finished up and settled into my couch to check my email. What? don't you check your email regardless of how tired?

About a minute went by and I realized I hadn’t seen Mr. AttentionGrabber all day and I needed some Pookie time. I should tell you that I have a cat who actually comes when you call it, and who makes noise when you call his name and/or if you make a whispy sound with your mouth - kinda like a snack with a lisp.... So I said, “Pookie?” and made the little pookie sound that gets him coming. I hear him. Then see him ON THE COUNTER!

Now here’s the funny part. He knows he’s not supposed to be on the counter, that’s a no no! And it's covered in How to be a Cat in this house 101. He passed the test! But,no, how dumb of a cat are you if you know you’re not supposed to be on the counter, and yet you announce that you are the moment I call you? I mean really?

Realizing that he was on the counter, I glance over and through the darkened kitchen, I see two lit up eyes and a pink mouth as I hear him sing, “Meow” (translation: DOH! She caught me on the counter.)

I think he thinks because he's aging he can get away with this stuff. I'm "sure" he's never been on the counter before. Those black hairs I find on the counter surely drift up there all by themselves.

Hoppity Hop Hop! Hoppity Hop Hop!

The Easter bunny sorta showed up last night. I had my annual Easter Egg decorating gathering. All of the usual suspects who have attended these in the past were other wise engaged. So I brought in some rookies. But they came to the game prepared for a win. Galpal Margo, GalPal Claudia and xcrush all showed up. We had an absolute blast. I've not laughed this hard in a long time. The eggs, turned out, well, some were ugly, some were pretty, and some were just eggs.


The evening started out with an amazing meal created by yours truly. I love cooking as many of you know, and every once in a while a recipe comes along that knocks my socks off. This was one of those recipes. Check out my other blog for the recipe to Coq Au Vin Blanc. Along with the meal, we drank wine. Lots and lots of wine. Notice the two bottles on the table with us, that was two of the four we drank. Also no the wine glass on the far corner between Claudia and Margo. That glass ended up on the floor. Good times.

(PS - the pink on the table is NOT a table cloth. It's a towel that mom and dad left here. I'd never be THAT tacky to have a pink flowery table cloth. Give me about 10 years and THEN I'll be that tacky. )


Claudia got a hold of my camera at one point of the evening and couldn't quite get it to work. She, in fact, video taped a portion of the evening that made me laugh my butt off. Unfortunately I'm having technical issues and can't get it added to the blog. And quite frankly it may only be amusing to those of us who were there. You know how that works.


It was a fun fun evening and exactly what the doctor ordered. Good food, good drinks (with the exception of one bottle of wine that, well stunk), good friends, and good fun.

Interesting point, the xcrush was almost irresistible. I mentioned I haven't been to San Fran and suddenly we had a plan to go. Now granted we have to wait until after May because May will be my poor month. Which all three of them have made plans to feed me in May since I won't have any moola. And of course, who knows if we'll ever really go, but it was fun to at least discuss the possibility.

Which got me to thinking about doing all these things I've not done and want to. Simple little day trips around the Seattle area that help get me out of the apt and may, just may push me to do more of my photography.

Anyhow, Happy Easter everyone! Here's hoping the Easter bunny brought you lots of yummy treats. I gotta go make me an egg salad sammy.

Spring has sprung...hip hip hooray!

Yes, my lovelies, spring is most certainly in the air today in the great northwest area. It got to 77 degrees yesterday...SEVENTY SEVEN PEOPLE! And today it should be close to that if not higher...HIGHER. I'm telling you, nice sunny weather in Seattle beats any blues away.

AND

I have today off. What could be better?

Thank you for all of you who gave me comments during my pity party. It was only temporarily. That's what I've always loved about me, I get over the ick's pretty quick. (Secretly, the sun does help. And a good bottle of wine.)

I've had an enormously busy, emotional week and was so looking forward to sleeping in today. The creeps who decided to hack up the drive way right by me had other plans. They and their jack hammer were up at 7. Bastards!

I should mention, that part of why I'm feeling much better is new galpal Margo. I met her through friends, Mark & Vanessa. I believe people do come into your life for a reason. Margo's reason, to send me goofy ass emails on a daily basis. Here are some of her email excerpts I personally think she should start her own blog, she's quite a writer.

The Best of Margo

"So needless to say, ramble on I will, I take great pride in making sure everyone else who arrives in the office for the day KNOWS that Mike's the reason none of us can go to iTunes anymore. Not that any of us ever did in the first place. I've never seen anyone here with an iPod now that I think about it.And so, of course, the other BIG joke is my iPod. It's actually a GE Model 7-4685A Walnut grain finish on polystyrene brick of a clock radio. I remember picking it out with my Dad when it was the hottest thing out there: the blue (not green) digital clock radio with the ability to snooze, set two alarm times (not concurrently, mind you technology wasn't that savvy yet), and most importantly: move the time settings forward or reverse. At this point, the clock doesn't work, and neither do any of the buttons - the on off switch is accomplished by plugging it in or unplugging it from the electrical outlet. And the tuner is the kind where you rotate the dial to find a station. That's MY iPod. And I love it. Everyone else laughs at me."

"Of the many friends from my past who got to know me, most seem to have learned that I was a good gift giver - so many of them worked that angle until they got all they could get, and then they disappeared. You learn with time, I guess, who wants your friendship and who wants the stuff you'll give them. I think sometimes that's where the marrieds and the singles part ways. Somehow they forget how to give to each other because in some relationships it's more about the accumulation of what you can get, vs what you give. Marrieds migrate to giving to each other, and forget their singles."

Another one bites the dust...

While immensely happy, I have to admit I am also sad. Another friend has gotten engaged. For his happiness, I am happy. For me, I am sad. It's another reminder that I am single...still. This one is especially hard, because I swear I'm still dealing with him dating someone. Once he started dating, I felt like I lost a friend. And in a lot of ways I did. Now that he's engaged, I feel that the loss is permanent. I understand that life works this way. I understand that single people become couples and then only do couples things and thus forget about any of their single friends. I've experienced this almost my entire adult life. Friends have been lost on the marriage trail. For some reason, they rarely look back to see the dropped friends in their wake.

When I was little, I dreamt of being married and settled down with kids by 25. Once I hit 25 I realized that perhaps that wasn't realistic. That maybe 30 was more realistic. Now, pushing 40, I'm starting to wonder if I'm defective in some way and men can see that and press one past me. (Secretly I know I'm not defective, but sit for a while during my pity party. Its been a couple of months since my last one. So I deserve this. )

You might want to get a snack though.

I tell myself that if its in the cards, it'll be. But harbor the fear of "what if it isn't in the cards?" Am I really okay with single-hood? Do I really want to be the old lady on the corner with a thousand cats who's house smells of memories, of better times, gone by?

Its been suggested that I need to sign up for an online dating service. Is that really the only option to meet people now a days? I've done that route and frankly didn't enjoy it. There has to be another way. There has to be!

I'll survive. I've survived worse.

And by the way, to all the boys I made the deal with regarding if we hit 40 and weren't married, we'd marry each other so we didn't die alone...thanks a whole helluva lot for leaving me behind with just my cats.

On a much more positive note though, I am, officially, a CM employee. They did opt to hire me permanently. I didn't really have any doubts, but you never know. I feel like I have so much more stake in it now and am working 12-13 hours a day. That won't last long, I promise. And no, I won't meet any men at my work place...they're all married! Damn Damn Double Damn!

Did you get that snack? Was it good? I need a snack!
On a very positive note, however,

Get In My Car

The Hoff! He ROCKS!

Is anyone as scared as I am now? I mean really, using poor little Kit Kar as a "car" to pick up chicks. Bad form David!

HOOoga chacka, HOooga chacha - Hooked on a Feeling....

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y-Night!

Know who sings that song?

Nope. Not Bay City Rollers.

But ......

THE DUDLEY MANLOVE QUARTET

The boys, again, and not surprisingly, did not disappoint last night. The opening act, however, sucked rotten eggs. Oh man they were bad. But - I've decided to purge that memory so as to not take up too much room in the grey matter.

Back to DMQ. Last night was their Anniversary show, 12 long years. They had a slide show of themselves throughout the years and then....then...when you thought it couldn't get any better, they had the slide show timed with the music. It was very retro and was goofy as all get out. But so their personality.

They promised to play some new songs, and they did. They promised to play some old songs, and they did. What they didn't play was some of their "famous" songs. I know, they're a cover band so how is it they have "famous" songs. You see it's this way, they have quite the following. Although I noticed last night the "following" is aging, more old people there than before. Old like in their late 30's. Yah, like me. Anyhow, they have a couple of songs that they sing at every show that those of us who stalk them look forward to. Even Blueberry mentioned last night that they didn't play a few standards.

Now, you'll notice in the picture that my main man, Paul, is wearing paisley purple fancy pants. Yah, not his best look, but they were only a part time look. He put them on to sing Prince...so that makes sense right?

In this picture, notice the teeny tiny girl in red behind me. She's the size of my leg, literally. She barely moved or shook her grove thing all night. So disappointing. She's with the band somehow, I haven't quite figured out how, and she doesn't dance. Though she was at a show with my friend Shannon and I. Standing in the same place as she is now, and Shannon and I were behind her...she farted all night. No lie. Ask Shannon!

Do Not Adjust your Monitor. Do not freak out. But this photo I couldn't resist. Those are my nails in the black light. They kinda creeped me out all night since it looked like they were radioactive. I was "glowing" you could say. Of course black light makes everything white turn this weird blue-ish color. And as if we were in junior high, we giggled and laughed at people's "blue-ish" tones, especially when people smiled and had UBER white teeth. Good times.

And on Friday...she rested

What a week! Whew! Let me tell you a thousand things have happened this week that has my mind all a twitter (can one's mind be a twitter?).


First and foremost, officially CM is going to hire me to a permanent position. I accomplished all my goals and officially, had my last review today in which I had to role play and do crap like that. Ick. But that aside, I was very glad to hear that the feedback the pointy haired boss received from the UK folks was positive and glowing. Which, why shouldn't it be? Right? I am all that! So say I.


Next, the UK folk and the GREAT OFFICE OPEN HOUSE. I've been managing this event since I started and have silently watched as I morphed into an office manager too. I've bought many a things for the office to make it look like an office, ordered stationary and business cards, bought plants, signage and organized the place to be presentable. One of the guys in the office redid the org chart and put the plants I bought under me and titled me the "Plant Manager". Clever eh?

The day of the big event arrives and as the delivery folks are putting up these fantastic looking kiosks I realize (the event is in 2 hours mind you ) that I have not planned or found any sample work for said kiosks. You have GOT to be kidding me? How could I have let the MAIN reason slip through my paws? So flustered I hurried off to Office Depot (pronounced DEHPO if your a brit apparently) and voila...signage and holders for collateral and all good stuff.


The feedback from everyone was outstanding. Everyone had a great time, the place looked fantastic and the bottom line is more sales for us. The pointy haired boss had flowers delivered to me from the entire CM group congratulating me on a successful event. Aren't they pretty?


Finally, here is the office. Some names have been changed to protect the not so innocent.


From Right to left: The brit, PM DUDE, The SPS Guy, Techy Guy, Pointy Haired Boss, New Girl, Sassy Sales Girl, PM Princess (aka me), Tall Techy Guy from Oregon.


Just look at how beautiful that sign is. I kick white ass. I don't care what anyone says.


In other news, DMQ Anniversary show this weekend. Provided I can stay awake past 10PM I'll be dating with the boys on Saturday night. Blueberry and GalPal Margo (who said she'd date a tree at this point) will be joining me.

Rock on with your bad selves.


I had coffee with the Xcrush today. He fixed my wireless issue with my computer. Which wasn't the reason we met for coffee. No, he suggested it, if you can believe it. Boys are weird. It was fun though to sit and get caught up with him without feeling all twittery inside around him. He's still got whatever he is supposed to have to make me want to crush all over him. But at least I've move past all that. Really! I have!

Petechial Hemmoraging and other nasty stuff

I'm a big fan of crime shows. And I always love when they say "petechial hemmoraging". Mostly because I can't say the word "hemmoraging" and it gets me to say it. HemERAging, hemmaging...herAG-ing...whatever.

But I have petechial hemmoraging going on right now.

"Bring out yer dead! Bring out yer dead!"

"I'm not quiet dead yet"



As I was saying, I'm not dead yet, but things are not happy in JennLand.

Sunday I experienced something I hope to GOD I never experience again. I had a severe reaction to aspirin I believe. I had "cramps" (which will play into the later part of this story) and a slight head ache. Not being a girl who likes pain, I reached for the pain killers. But sadly I couldn't find my Tylenol. I found, instead, these nice little tablets I "borrowed" from Geeksoft. They're called "Pain-Aid". Very appropriately named for me...Pain = bad.

Only for some reason these little tablets I've taken a thousand times suddenly didn't like my system. I doubled over with most horrendous stomach cramps I've ever experienced. And I've experienced stomach cramps in my life - considering I inherited my mothers digestive track (thanks mom - smooch). But these were different. I could even stand up straight.

Now, I also must tell you I hate to throw up. HATE it. Yah, I know who does like it right? But most people do it just to get the pain over with. Not this girl. Throwing up is a direct indication that something is SERIOUSLY wrong. So as I laid in the fetal position on the bathroom floor in tears...I did it. I pulled myself up to the porcelain god and paid my homage. It was in fact so violent that I burst several blood vessels in my eye balls. It could be because my insides were screaming to get out of the captivity they were being held in. And I think my eyes thought they'd join in the exodus. Hours later I noticed that I had broken several blood vessels in my eyes and my face ( I've seen pregnant women with this after given birth - which I won't be ever considering now...)

That all being said I'm having other issues. Aunt Flow is visiting AGAIN. And let's just say things are not good with that regards.

I think I'm falling apart. I think my body is trying to tell me something and I don't think I speak its language.

I am, feeling better. Thanks for asking. I am just a bit concerned with regards to all that's going on.

And before you get all motherly with me...YES I have a doctor appt and a list to discuss with the dr.

Q-Tip: 1 King of the House: 0

The woman of this household has been working feverishly and hasn't had the time to post anything worthwhile (I suspect there are some of you who question if any of it is worthwhile). She leaves early (before 6AM & I'm barely out of my cat bowl yet) and comes home WELL past feeding time (which is, effectively, all day).

Since she's been gone "hunting" (that's what she tells me she does all day. I have my doubts since I am quite sure anything that can be killed doesn't come in a tin can) I find my ways of amusing myself.

My latest adventure has been with this little cotton sticks the woman calls "Cuutips". The woman has a jar of them on her bathroom counter. It seems she uses them to apply odd smelling and atrocious stuff to her face and she uses them to brush her ears or something like that. I, on the other hand, have found a new and EXCITING use for them. I found I can pick them out of the jar as the woman has no lid on said jar. Once I hunt down and pick a "victim" I toss it merrily into the air. It generally lands on the floor. Though I've been known to have excellent aim and have it hit the bit water bowl. That I found doesn't agree with me as the games over at that point.

Generally speaking if it lands on the floor, its fair game. These "cuutips" are curious creatures too, they disappear on me sometimes. I innocently send them flying into the air, and sometimes they never come down. But the woman, she's the master of hunting, because she finds them all the time, which is then followed by her war cry that goes something like this, "Pookie - for the love of Pete."

Yesterday the woman was startled and stunned to find one of my "lost" chases in a shoe. She put the shoe on and wobbled around wondering what the...was in the shoe. Upon removing said shoe she found my lost toy. Yipee. Woman: 1

Last weekend she moved my lounging throne and found a couple, too. I have yet to determine where those are hiding now.

I should probably admit at this point that I don't actually "lose" them. No. Instead I distinctively and artfully "place" them so the woman can find them. She does need to hon in her hunting skills, so I figured I could help out a bit.

And finally, to those of you who pleaded with the woman to feed me more. Your pleads, I fear, have gone unheard. She now is not only feeding me more, but she's telling me that we are going on an adventure to a new land called V.E.T. I can hardly wait to throw up in the car.

Help Wanted

Recently, I've been asked to help with the recruitment of new hires in the US. It has absolutely nothing to do with proj mgmt, but I'm willing to help out.

In light of that, my co-worker sent me this. Enjoy!

And now a word from our sponsors

Hello,

My name is Pookie. You might know me as the Big Black Beast of Burden. A name, I assure you, of which I do not approve. The woman (aka my maid) finds it amusing to call me such silly, whimsical names. She knows full well my name mean honesty, strength, and power: PookieSnackenBurger. The Lord. I've applied to make the Sir PookieSnackenBurger esq.

I need a nap. That paragraph was a lot of work.

Thank you for waiting. Now where was I? Oh yes, the Lord of the apartment.


This is me on my new found throne. The woman tells me I don't belong up here, but what could she possibly know about royalty? I mean, seriously. She cooks for herself! She works! Whatever.

The new throne has an excellent view of my kingdom outside. I've not actually been through my kingdom, but I protect it with vigor any chance I get. The occasional Mr. Hands (the woman calls him a ra-coon) has to be scared away by my roar! I also have a mysterious feline that walks through my domain and stops to stare at me. I stare back and stare him down until he leaves. The woman says if she opened the door I'd be dead and shredded. I assure you that is not the case. I am cat. Hear me roar!


This is the throne in the anti-chamber (the woman calls it the lehving ruum). I have a kickass view from this fluffy, coushy thrown. I finally have asserted my weight just right so that the pillow of which I lay folds in nicely to conform to my body. What a view eh?

I do have a few complaints that must be heard. No one else seems to listen to me, the lord. So I'll use this forum to vent. I understand from the woman that people "reed" here and make "comments".

Complaint #1


The Blue Monster of Death - why? Why does the woman feel the need to invite that ... that... thing over once a week. It sucks up all my beautiful fur I've left lying around. Clearly, the woman doesn't understand I have a right, I owe my people, to cover all ground, furniture, bed linen, and clothing with my fur. Once everything is covered, I could rest. But no. She and that robot sucks it up every week and I have to start all over. Whoa is me!

Complaint #2


The food dish. See. Just see how I must live. That food dish isn't 100% full. The woman has decided that 1) my food dish does not need to be full and 2) I do not require the wet, succulent food every day. She is wrong. Please. I beg of you. Tell her I need that wet food daily. The side of the can says it will promote my shiny coat.

Complaint #3

My complaints. I spout them off all day long and in her presence. Yet all I get back from her is lip. She goes on and on about me being spoiled and the cutest cat in the apartment. Um...dah! I'm the only cat in the apartment. I'm smart too. Please? Ask her to listen to my complaints. If she does, I promise to not hork on her new shoes again. (I swear the last time was an accident. I swear.)

This is all for now. I'm excited to see I now can reach ALL my loyal subjects through this medium.

Do you remember Captain Kangaroo?

So stick with me on this one? You're about to embark on a trip through my mind. Scary as it may be. Hang on!

I thought Captain Kangaroo wore green overalls. And for some reason I want to call him Mr. Green Jeans, but then I realized Mr. Green Jeans was a character on the show (For the record, he is one scary looking person).


Why am I thinking about green jeans? Well, because I'm about to buy plants. And during the plant shopping extravaganza all I could think about was Mr. Green Jeans, and Captain Kangaroo.

See the connection?

Yah, whatever.

Anyhow, anyone who knows me, knows I am not a gardener. Never have been. Never wanted to be. Never interested. Now, suddenly, I have this hankering to buy plants to put outside on my deck. I have a nice little patch of dirt that is just screaming for plant life...aside from the weeds that are currently growing there.

Now, without any really provocation, I can't stop thinking about putting plants out there. I was shopping for office plants today (don't ask) and spent a good part of time, learning about other plants that might fit well in my little green patch. And I priced out bark to put around them to make it look pretty.

I hate yard work. Hate it. And now, in my advancing age, I apparently wouldn't mind doing a little gardening. WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO ME?

If someone finds my mind, would you please return it?

Ain't it just my luck

Anyone who knows me, or who has read this blog for longer than a second, knows about my several misadventures with men. Apparently Mike's are not my game as each one in my life at one time or another broke my heart (they've all been forgiven by now).

The other "issue" I've had with men is becoming attracted to them, I find out they're gay. Just my luck right.

So, rewind momentarily to my traffic accident just about two weeks ago. Remember BeemerBoy - who hadn't contacted me originally. Finally. I say finally, he contacted me and provided me with his email address. I immediately sent off an email to get the ball rolling to get this fixed. To my surprise he responded and copied his HUSBAND on the email. Now remember if you will my mother's reaction was "Is he married?" Funny, I don't think she meant was he married to another man!

I blame the cold medicine

Yes, kids I'm still sick. I hate it. I hate not being able to do things. And I hate being completely tied to the end of a Kleenex. BTW, you should buy stock in Kleenex considering my current situation.

And what is my current stats:

(you know you want to know)

2 bag of Halls Defense Vitamin C cough drops - they're da bomb
15 calories per drop and about 30 drops per bag...you do the math. But since I'm not eating anything I figured all calories through cough drops and cough syrup are fine.

2 boxes Kleenex - working on the third.

2 quarts miso soup

lost count of the amount of water and ice tea I've had.

Approximately 80 hours of sleep in the last 72 hours.

1 bottle of NyQuil - working on my second. They were small bottles so relax

And lastly, one hot totty. I had to. I remember way back when, my dad made me one when I was sick. Totally knocked me out and I slept for hours. Woke up feeling 10X better.

15 - the number of cold remedies people have recommended to me. (one being eating a whole clove of raw garlic - which I may just have to do.)

Finally, I'm siding with the Patron Saint on this one, it amazes me just how much snot a body can make. Easily 20 lbs of snot. Easily.

I am, finally, at work today, for at least a few hours. If I don't work I don't get paid...and if I don't get paid, then I don't eat...which I guess isn't a bad thing.

I'm sick and its not berry fuddy!

The snow is gone, thank god. But in its place we have rain. Which I don't care one bit about.

What I do care about is this nasty cold that has taken old of me. It came on fast and appears to be settling in for the long haul. I hate being sick. Not that anyone really "likes" it, but I think some people tolerate it better than others. I hate it because it slows me down.

I think I might have mixed cold medicines last night and probably shouldn't have. I had some wicked wicked dreams and woke up to a phone ringing, a friend calling me to find out where I was. I was supposed to meet her for breakfast and I completely forgot. The cold medicine fog. Its similar to the post drinking fog, but this isn't nearly as much fun.

A friend recommended Zycam to battle the cold. So I took that yesterday and didn't pay attention to when. Then when I hit the bed at 6:30 PM I took a big, long, swig of Nyquil. (God's gift to the sick). The combination I think might have contributed to weird dreams I had...and I know it contributed to the foggy brain this morning.

I'm beat. I'm gonna go take a cough drop and settle into my new flaming blanky (Thanks Vicky! I love it by the way) and watch the food channel all day.