The hell.....

I'm so distraught. I can't believe this is happening. I think I should go home and take two aspirin and grieve.

Pink Flamingos

However will we survive?

Note: For those of you not in the know, I collect flamingos. No just any old ordinary flamingo, no. They have to be, er ah, different. Stylish, and not the of the yard variety. Though I have been given those too.

The Boys did not disappoint

Yes, that's correct, the boys out did themselves last night. Though I think I might say that after every show. Regardless, the show was fun and entertaining and oh so yummy-lish-ish of my boy Paul. This year, Mark and Vanessa and their friend Margo joined me. As well as GalPal Erin and her friend Bree, Mike, Nancy, Neil and his wife's friend Salle were all in attendance to enjoy the show.

This years "guest" band was Prince and the Revolution. They performed a few of their hits from the 80's which included: Let's Go Crazy, Little Red Corvette, Raspberry Beret, U Got the Look, and finishing up with 1999 and Purple Rain (for the record, Purple Rain can be the longest song in all of history when dancing with someone you don't want to be dancing with. See past blog on Prince.) Interesingly enough they didn't do When Dove's Cry, but who cares. They did "enough" Prince for one night.

Then the top 10 Worse. And man let me tell you, they were bad this year. In fact, the boys of the band commented on how with each song they flip their music to the next song and exclaim, "OY Vey!"

So on with the show. Oh and it should be mentioned that The Biggest Dudley Fan Ever (namely me) is VERY disappointed that not a single song I voted for made it to the top 10. Hmph!

10. Pour Some Sugar on Me -Def Leppard
9. Africa - Toto
8. Blame it on the Rain - Millie Vanilla (the boys joked that they had toyed with lip syncing this song...)
7. Material Girl - Madonna
6. Time of the Season - Zombies
5. My Sharona - The Knack
4. Ghost Busters -Ray Parker Jr
3. Conga - Gloria Estevan
2. I want Your Sex - George Michael
And the Number One Worst song for 2006....

1. Kokomo - The Beach Boys

The only other point of interest of the night was yours truly doing her most graceful act of the night and bite-ing it on the streets of Seattle. It wasn't my fault. I'm blaming it on the City of Seattle and they street drain that was covered with leaves. I was wearing high heals (what? they're cute and very fashionable) and I stepped akwardly on the street drain and down I went. Twisting my ankle and feeling like a total dork. But God Bless Mark, Vanessa and their friend Margo who didn't laugh at me.

Like Sands in the Hour Glass...

I know. Two posts in one day. I'm all that and a bag of chips.

It's a funny little tidbit of knowledge about me. And it wasn't included in the long survey I posted earlier this week. Recently, as you know, I put the crush to bed. Not literally, I wish. Instead I decided to be "uncrushed". It seems, at this time, the most logical way to manage this unmanageable person. (Though I may regret doing so). Too many things have popped up, of which I won't go into, that has me thinking that perhaps he was merely a person to like. And as this "like" turned into a "crush", I got a chance to witness and experience a small piece of getting to know him.

Now admittedly, I don't know him that well. Never had the chance too. His life and mine are destined to never be on the same path. So instead of forcing a round peg into a square hole it was easier for me to just dust off the remaining pieces of my heart and put them back on the shelf to wait for the next "crush" to come along.

How do I know I'm done? With all my past "crushes" I knew I was over them when I deleted their emails. Today, I did just that. Sad as it seems, but I saved all my emails between myself and the crush - because you never know when you'll need to reference them.

Side bar: previous massive crush with Mike Pomerleau was in the days when pen to paper was the form of email. In a moment of despair and sadness I tore up all the letters, save one. The first. And there are times in which I wish I had not done that, but what's a girl to do?

It's very cleansing, this tossing of emails. Not only do I have more memory on my free yahoo account, but I feel release is near. Where attitude is everything, I can say that I feel much better about tossing then I have in the past.

And so I enter the weekend a woman who's glad to have done some spring cleaning of her soul. But still sad at the loss of hope.

There's just too many...

Dudley has taken there sweet time posting their top 90 worst songs. The show is tomorrow night, and they have only counted down to 50. So - you may know I left off around 80 I believe....so here you go. I pick and chose the songs to leave the pros to. Be sure to check out # 56 - but I warn you. Do. Not. Have. Liquid. In. Your. Mouth.

If you want to read all the witty comments set forth by DMQ:
Visit here.

Oh and stay tuned. The part is Saturday night. After the haze clears on Sunday, I'll be sure to post at least what I can remember.

Of special note, with a story to it... #67 Honey. Its a sad, depressing song, that is, truly, a bad song. BUT, in college, Honey appeared on a compilation tape (remember those cassette tapes?) I made. One of the biggest problems with cassette tapes (well, if you're Jenn Wraspir) is I'd always run out of room and thus songs would end in the middle somewhere. So was such the luck with Honey. Crazy Cousin Sherrie and I would joke that we never did know what happened to Honey (see the tape ended before the song tells us she died). Sad, ain't it?


79. “Ironic” – Alanis Morissette
Isn’t it ironic that a song titled “Ironic” contains no examples of irony? Pretty sneaky, Alanis.
Fun Fact: There is nothing fun about Alanis Morissette – especially if you are an ex.

78. “Don’t Give Up On Us” – David Soul
Fun Fact: “Don’t Give Up On Us” was written by Tony McCauley, the songwriting mastermind behind such bubblegum hits as the Foundations “Build Me Up Buttercup” and Edison Lighthouse’s “Love Grows Where My Rosemary Grows.”

77. “Wildfire” – Michael Martin Murphy
Fun Fact: Murphy appears on the cover of the book The Improbably Rise of Redneck Rock.

76. “Music Box Dancer” – Frank Mills (I think this one would be hysterical to see them perfom, considering there's no words.)
Fun Fact: According to his website, Mills was on his way to a Naval recruitment office when he ran into a friend who talked him into taking a university music department entrance exam.

75. “Safety Dance” – Men Without Hats
This former Top Ten Worst Song is one of the odder new-wave-ish songs from the early 80s. No one is quite sure what a Safety Dance is – it might be the weird arms-akimbo move featured in the video (you know, where your two arms are flung to form an equal sign.) Well, thanks to the internets, we now know that the original lyrics are in fact “is it safe to dance?” And now I can sleep at night.

Fun Fact: The dwarf in the “Safety Dance” video is Mike Edmonds, who has appeared in Return of the Jedi, Time Bandits and Legend.

74. “Hard Habit to Break” – Chicago
Fun Fact: Chicago was originally called the Chicago Transit Authority – until the real CTA threatened to sue.

73. “She’s Like the Wind” – Patrick Swayze featuring Wendy Fraser
Fun Fact: Swayze appeared in Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights as a dance instructor.

72. “The Thong Song” -- Sisqo
Fun Fact: Sisqo hasn’t had a hit since 2000’s “Incomplete.”

71. “Gloria” – Laura Branigan
Fun Fact: Branigan appeared Off-Broadway in Love, Janis, a play about Janis Joplin. Branigan, naturally, played Joplin.

70. “Somebody’s Watching Me” – Rockwell

69. “Party All the Time” -- Eddie Murphy
Fun Fact: Ever the innovator, Eddie’s next two movies are sequels: “Shrek 3” and “Daddy Day Camp.”

68. “Whoomp! (There It Is)” – Tag Team
Fun Fact: “Whoomp” is one of the top-selling singles in pop history, selling over 4 million copies. Whoomp!

67. “Honey” – Bobby Goldsboro
Glad to see the reappearance of “Honey,” a song CNN earlier this year named the worst of all time. Well, they’re wrong – it’s the 67th worst – but I’m happy to see it’s still in our memories. “Honey” is a song about a man remembering his now-dead wife. However, his recollections lead the listener to believe that ‘Honey’ may have been a little slow: “She was always young at heart, kinda dumb and kinda smart and I loved her soAnd I surprised her with a puppyKept me up all Christmas Eve two years agoAnd it would sure embarrass herWhen I came in from workin' late 'cause I would knowThat she'd been sittin' there and cryin'Over some sad and silly late, late show.”

Fun Fact: “Honey” was written by Bobby Russell, a country songwriting legend whose other songs include “He Ain’t Heavy – He’s My Brother” and “The Nights Went Out in Georgia” – the latter for his then-wife Vicki Lawrence.

66. “God Bless the USA” – Lee Greenwood
Fun Fact: In a 2005 poll, “God Bless the USA” was named the most patriotic song ever – ahead of the National Anthem and “God Bless America.”

65. “Mandy” – Barry Manilow

64. “London Bridge” – Fergie
The song is currently experiencing some controversy, as a “London bridge” is supposedly a group sex act. Hmm. Let’s see if the lyrics shed any light:
“All my girls get down on the floorBack to back drop it down real lowI'm such a lady but I'm dancin' like a hoCause you know I don't give a f*ck so here we go.”

Nope. Nothing sexual there. Next.

63. “Heartbeat” – Don Johnson
Fun Fact: Johnson had another hit in 1988 – a duet with Streisand called “Till I Love You.”

62. “I Think I Love You” – The Partridge Family
Fun Fact: The Partridge Family was half of ABC-TV’s powerhouse Friday night prime time schedule. The other? The Brady Bunch.

61. “Loving You” – Minnie Ripperton
La la la la la. La la la la la. La la la la laaa la laa laa laa la la. Doobie doobie doo.
(Dog whistle sound.) There it is. That’s the song.
Fun Fact: Minnie Ripperton possessed a seven-octave range, including what’s known as the “whistle register.”

60. “Celebration” – Kool and the Gang
Fun Fact: “Celebration” was produced by legendary Brazillian artist Eumir Deodato – best known for his 1974 funk-afied version of Also Sprach Zarathustra (aka the theme for 2001: A Space Odyssey.) Deodato has produced records for everyone from Frank Sinatra to Bjork.

59. “The Night Chicago Died” – Paper Lace
Fun Fact: Paper Lace’s last public performance was in 2003 at the Royal Variety Performance for the Queen. Also on the bill: Luciano Pavarotti and Donny Osmond.

58. “Physical” – Olivia Newton-John
This former Top Ten Worst Song ranks as one of our most popular vote-getters. Perhaps it’s because of Newton-John’s weak attempt to become a sex symbol. Maybe it’s due to the strange video, where flabby men turn into hunks thanks to Olivia’s hotness. My guess it has something to do with the lyrics:
“I took you to an intimate restaurant, then to a suggestive movie
There's nothin' left to talk about, unless it's horizontally.”

Fun Fact: “Physical” spent 10 weeks at the top of the charts, preceded by “Private Eyes” by Hall and Oates and succeeded by “I Can’t Go For That” – by Hall and Oates.

57. “Maneater” – Hall and Oates
Fun Fact: Dudley Manlove Quartet have performed “Maneater” at two Halloween shows – once as a Worst Song, and once when they came in costume as Hall and Oateses.

56. “Come on Eileen” – Dexy’s Midnight Runners

Poor Eileen.

Fun Fact: I promise never to make that joke again.

55. “Horse With No Name” – America
“I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name/It felt good to get out of the rain/in the desert you can remember your name/’Cause there ain’t no one for to give you no pain.” Painful. The syntax and structure of the last line confuses the hell out of me. The bigger issue for me is this: you’re in the desert and you can remember your own name – so why not just name the flippin’ horse?

Fun Fact: America’s Dewey Bunnell explains his chorus: “"I have taken a lot of poetic license in my use of grammar, and I always cringe a little bit at my use of 'aint's,' like 'ain't no one for to give you no pain' in "Horse." I've never actually spoken that way, but I think it conveys a certain honesty when you're not picking and choosing your words, and you use that kind of colloquialism."

54. “Barbie Girl” – Aqua (One of my vote for last year's top 10)
Last year’s #8 Worst Song takes a tumble down this year’s chart.
Fun Fact: Mattel objected to the suggestive nature of the lyrics (“you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere”) and sued Aqua for copyright and trademark violations. In a ballsy move, Aqua countersued Mattel for defamation.

53. “Trapped in the Closet” – R. Kelly
Fun Fact: The character Kelly plays in the song is named Sylvester – which is R. Kelly’s middle name. Ah – so it’s autobiographical!

52. “I’ve Had the Time of My Life” – Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes
Fun Fact: “Time” was written by Franke Previte, who scored his own top ten hit in 1981 with Franke and the Knockouts’ “Sweetheart.”

51. “The Flame” – Cheap Trick (Oh dear, this was one of my massive votes this year. Perhaps Dudley's getting too popular and my votes won't be making songs into the top 10)
Rock and Roll Rule #7: if your career is flagging, release a power ballad. Cheap Trick – the seminal power-pop band from Rockford, Illinois – had been absent from pop radio since 1980’s “Voices” and “Dream Police.” So, naturally, they turned to the power ballad to rejuvenate their careers. And, naturally, “The Flame” – a schlocky slow-dancer that carries none of Cheap Trick’s trademark charm – became their biggest hit. Lucky for us, Cheap Trick has since gone back to their glory days, and have become a staple on alternative rock tours – they have shared stages with the likes of Pearl Jam, Smashing Pumpkins and Guided By Voices.

Fun Fact: Cheap Trick wrote and recorded the theme song for “The Colbert Report.” Now that’s cool.

Just thought you'd like to know....

Officially....

Boys are Icky!

It's true. It's been proven. Scientifically speaking of course.

Tid Bits you Can't live without

You know I can’t resist these. Why? Because I’m “sure” you all have the unique and sometimes annoying urge to know ALL you can about me. And why wouldn’t you want to know all you can about me…I am, after all, great!

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
One closed and one half open. The cat box is in the half open closet so should he feel the urge at night, he needs to have it open.

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
As if I’m in a hotel ever. Though I used to because this mega software company in Redmond Wa used to collect them and send them to the homeless shelters here in Seattle. So that was a good deed or two to chalk up to my karma counter.

3. Have you ever 'done it' in a hotel room?
I refuse to answer this on the ground that my mother reads this blog.

4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
Why would anyone steal a street sign? Though admittedly I’ve taken my fair share of photos of street signs around the world.

5. Do you like to use post-it notes?
If I could find them, I’d use them.

6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
Argh. I hate coupons.

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
Um, has anyone been paying attention. I HATE BEES. I’d take my chance with the bear.

9. Do you always smile for pictures?
f I’m actually in the picture. I’m generally behind the camera saying stupid things like, “Say Cheese!”

10. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Just one? Rude, inconsiderate people would rank on the high today.

11. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
They’re tucked in at the bottom of the bed…does that count?

12. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
Hee hee…sometimes…but generally a piece of gum on the ground distracts me and I have to start counting all over again.

13. Have you ever peed in the woods?
Thank god that question wasn’t, “Have you ever pee’d on your shoes in the woods?” I’d have to say yes to both. Though I try to avoid whenever possible.

14. Do you ever jump up and down to make your privates bounce?
WTF? Who makes these things up? I’d have to say no.

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils?
Nope. Disgusting habit.

16. How many people have you slept with this week?
If I count all the personalities in my head, about 21 (and that would be that I have 21 different personalities...not that I've slept with 20 people plus my one personality...a girl should be so lucky.) Oh and pookie isn’t far when I’m sleeping. And yes, he’s a people. Just ask him.

17. Do you like popcorn from those big tins?
The caramel type, maybe. The others remind me of cardboard.

18. What is your "Song of the week"?
Please don’t make me say this out loud! Okay, Mustang Sally.

19. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
Have you been to Capital Hill lately (for those non Seattle folk reading, heavy gay community)? Pink is the new orange which is the new black and is therefore okay for men/boys to wear.

20. Do you still watch cartoons?
Rarely. Unless it’s a cooking channel cartoon or a Disney movie.

21. Whats your favorite scary movie?
Yentle.

22. Where would you bury treasure if you had some?
Right next to the body.

23. What do you drink with dinner?
Black Cherry Vanilla Diet Coke. Or Diet coke of any sort.

26. What color is your cell phone?
Pink Pink Pink…

28. Were you a boy/girl scout?
I was a girl scout, but hated it.

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
Better asked would be, would a magazine ever ask you to pose nude for them. I think with 100% accuracy, the answer would be no.

30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
Two days ago. Wrote a letter to friend in Holland.

31. Can you change the oil on a car?
I’m a girl. Why, when you can pay someone to do it would you ever change the oil in you car. I do, however, know where the dipstick is…its generally located in the driver’s seat…bahahahhaha

32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Um…one word…Mustang. Ironically though my past speeding tickets (two) were in a car that could barely go 60 with the wind and downhill.

33. Ran out of gas?
Yes, because I’m a dork and didn’t realize not ALL cars have a “you’re almost out of gas stupid” light.

34. Favorite kind of sandwich?
BLT. Though right now its bologna, American cheese and iceberg lettuce. It’s a weird thing I go through every now and then.

35. Best thing to eat for breakfast?
Maple and Brown Sugar Instant Oatmeal

36. What is your usual bedtime?
Some time between 10pm and 11pm.

37. Are you lazy?
There are a few things I’m lazy about, but on a whole, I don’t think so.

38. When you were a kid what did you dress up as for Halloween?
All the time. Love Halloween. My favorite costume was Raggedy Ann on Rollerskates.

39. Do you read the newspaper?
Every day

40. How many languages can you speak?
Three. English, Spanish, and Jenn-ese

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
A few cooking magazine subscriptions, Real Simple (love that mag), PM Networks and Fortune.

42. Which are better Legos or Lincoln Logs?
No contest! LEGOS!!!

43. Are you stubborn?
No. Mom, stop laughing. I am not.

44. Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
Letterman

45. Watch an opera live?
Yup the Barber of Seville. You know the opera "Figaro! Figaro! Figaro!"

46. Afraid of heights?
Not really. Though sometimes if I look straight now I get all wiggley in my tummy.

48. Dance in the shower?
Ah, no….

49. Dance in the car?
Absolutely. I bust a move in the car all the time. And I sing in the car.

50. Ever used a gun?
When I was a kid, my dad taught me about guns and gun safety.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
My friend Curt took photos at the 25th Wedding Anniversary party and he’s a photographer, does that count?

52. Are musicals cheesy?
Depends on the musical. Evita = No. Grease 2 = Yes

53. Is Christmas stressful?
Not really

54. Ever eat a pierogi?
A who, da what? After “googling” it, I would say no. Though funny enough I thought it was a fish.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
Chocolate. Oh way, that’s not a fruit…then um, Apple.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Writer. In 8th grade we did this presentation of what we wanted to be when we grew up. We had to read a paragraph in front of our parents and the school. Mine was to be a writer. My friend Tammy’s I can still, to this day, remember her title “Blood and vital organs”. And she plays with blood and vital organs now as adults.

57. Do you believe in ghosts?
Boo…yes I do.

59. Take a vitamin daily?
If I remember

60. Wear slippers?
Only in the winter. And only after I check for spiders. But generally I’m bare footin’ it at home.

61. Wear a bath robe?
Only when there’s company

62. What do you wear to bed?
Night shirt or shorts and T

63. First concert?
Duran Duran

64. Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart?
Target…its closer and I hate fighting the crowds at Walfarts.

65. Nike or Adidas?
Nike…

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?
Oh…man…that’s a hard on. I’d go with Cheetos first.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Sunflower seeds, preferably ones that are already shelled.

68. Ever hear of, "gorp"?
Wasn’t that a movie?

69. Ever take dance lessons?
Who needs a lesson when you can grove as good as I can? Okay, perhaps I should have taken a few….oh wait, I did learn the Achy Breaky Way-Back-When.

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
Pool boy. Or Professional Chef and/or housekeeper

71. Can you curl your tongue?
Yup. Maybe I should put that in my personal ad...if I had a personal ad.

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Stop. You’re making me cry.

74. Own any record albums?
See now this question is dating me. To even admit I know what an album is means I was born in the 60's or 70's. But yes, I have a few 45s left, but no way to play them.

75. Own a record player? See #74

76. Regularly brush your teeth?
Of course.

77. Ever been in love?
Yes. See all my blogs about DMQ's lead singer

79. What was your last concert you saw?
Dudley Manlove…. Der… But if we’re talking “real” concert….um…Alabama’s Last Horrah.

80. Hot tea or cold tea?
Ice Cold and sweetened tea

81. Tea or coffee?
You really should read my blog more. If you did, you’d know that I’m a coffee girl through and through. Caffeine runs through these veins.

82. Favorite kind of cookie?
"O, O, an ice cold milk and an Oreo cookie...."

83. Can you swim well?
I can swim in a well. And I float well too...

84. Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose?
I’m doing it right now.

85. Are you patient?
See blog

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
DMQ would be the preferred wedding band.

87. Ever won a contest?
I don’t think I have. I got the Coaches award in volleyball if that counts.

88. Ever have plastic surgery?
Oh hells no! And I never would. I am beautiful, no matter what they say.

89. Which are better black or green olives?
All of the above. Any creature in the olive family gets my vote.

90. Can you knit or crochet?
No. I'It bores me. (Sorry Lesley – I’ll let you knit for the world)

91. Best room for a fireplace?
Living room

92. Do you want to get married?
Shouldn’t it be, would someone want to marry you? Because I’m sure I can pay someone off to spend the rest of their lives with me.

Feel free to respond to feel tagged to do this if you want.

Karma - Its a long shot

So, you've heard me, on a relatively regular basis, complain ever so slightly about my "friends" and their lack of interest in doing things with me. I know. I know. I know I shouldn't take it personally. I know they all have things going on...but still...I feel hurt. I feel like I'm playing second fiddle. And I don't even like the fiddle (unless Mr. DMQ is playing the fiddle while performing as the Sh*tKickers...then I like the fiddle and who's fiddlin' with it.)

And so I got to thinking that perhaps their lack of interest in me (no I'm not an egomaniac - I'm a realist and a Capricorn, therefore its all about me. And if you don't like it, leave this blog immediately. It is, afterall, MY blog) is karma. That perhaps they are either 1) reading this blog (which I doubt since I have a stat counter) or 2) just by posting something I therefore create the opportunity for that which I posted to come true. I am that powerful. Just ask Pookie.

I dare not post this next sentence for fear of creating said karma...but I like living on the edge, so I'm gonna do it. The "crush" is officially un-crushed. Yes, its true. I've demoted him to that status today. He deserves no more of my time and energy when I get nothing in return. Not even a simple email. Nothing. I know there are some of you out there that will tell me I'm jumping the gun. That perhaps if I chatted with him he'd come around. BS! I shouldn't have to ... there should be a 50/50 communication at least at the minimum level of friendship. And their ain't. And so I say "Au revoir. It was fun. But I must move on." (BTW -that's the chinese character for karma. It is to! Google told me. Though I don't recommend looking up "karma" as an image on google while at work...there were um - shall we say - "other" photos out there that should not come up on work computers. HEY! Where ya going? You can check those photos out AFTER you read MY blog. )

And while on the subject of moving on...I heard from Perfect Job company today. Now, don't go getting all excited...remember this is a post about karma...sort of...But apparently, they are internally challenged at the moment and must focus their energies internally and don't have the bandwidth to hire me at this moment. They would, however, like to consider hiring me in January when my contract is up.

So good news, no? I still have a job and I may have a job waiting for me. Though I'm not counting those chickens...they'll likely stray from the coup and then I've got nothing but chicken poo.

Don't ask. I'm making it up as I go along.

Patience is a virtue...

...and so apparently I don't own or possess this virtue. I hate waiting...and I don't mean waiting for a latte or a table - though depending on the atmosphere I may be agitated a bit.

Side bar: For the record, I confuse the spelling of patient and patience all the time. Deal with it.

And I don't think I'm alone in this annoyance. I think most of us, if allowed, would prefer to know something immediately. I may be wrong her, but I'm not going to wait for you to respond.

I was the kid during Christmas who couldn't STAND to not know what was in the beautifully wrapped gifts under the tree...and of course I was the kid who counted and sized up the gifts. God forbid sister get one more, or bigger ones than me.

And so, here I sit, patiently waiting...okay - well maybe not so patiently - to hear from Perfect Job Op #1. Interviewed with them two weeks ago. LOVED the company, loved the hiring manager, loved the job (though it would challenge me greatly)...but...they dangled the carrot. The "we want our VP to interview the candidates" routine. The VP is due in this week and I'm sitting - waiting patiently - for the phone to ring to schedule said interview.

And if waiting for that isn't enough, oh no...I have to wait for Dudley to announce their top 100 worst songs list...weekly...waiting...patiently. And they're killing me. In past years, they weekly posted new lists. Counting down to the top 10 to be performed at their show. Their "show" is this coming Saturday, and they are only on #80. Come on! Show me the songs!

Apparently, also, waiting in a coffee line today has provided me much caffeine and so am perhaps, just a little, anxious and jittery. Perhaps, just a touch!

And in case you're bored...check these out.

Confidence: I'm Dangerous When I Know What I'm Doing

Winning: The Difference Between Winning And Whinning Is A Big Fat H

Belief: How Can Something Seem So Plausible At The Time And So Idiotic In Restrospect?

Dedication: This Isn't An Office, It's Hell With Fluorescent Lighting

Apology: OK, OK, I Take It Back. UnScrew You

Dismissed: You Are So Fired

Performance: You Are Depriving A Village Somewhere Of An Idiot

and my favorites

LoveYou Can't Force Love - Just Stalk Them Until They Give In

LustYour time is up. You have been waiting for the right time to go over to that person and plead with them to hump you like a beast possessed. Well that time is now. Right now. Now, now, now. There is no later. Only now.

Dedication: When the going gets tough, the tough get coffee.

Agreement: I'll try to be nicer, if you try to be smarter.

Substinence: Never argue with a cat when it comes to food. They are quicker, smarter, and have a lot more weaponry.

Your Habeas is in my Corpus

Okay, okay. I hear ya. Loud and clear. But Please please please, understand, I am not a politically insightful person, by nature. Only when something is so blaringly, obviously wrong, will I pick up my torch and get my couch potato butt off the political denial couch. I am, sadly, one of those Americans, who are so tired and fed up with all things political, that I bury my head in the sand and just wait, hope and pray for the day we get a true leader in our white house. And I don't care if they are democrat or republican. I just want someone to stand up to the world and LEAD.

But now, it seems, I am, in affect, defenseless. I learned something today. I learned about Habeas Corpus. And I learned that we as American’s no longer have a right that was give us many hundreds of years ago. This change in our society and the comments I’m going to make transcends past your political circle. It shouldn’t matter if your democrat or republican, because right now, you can be put in jail for no reason and you do not have the right to object to your imprisonment. Heck, you can be put in jail for just being a democrat or a republican.

What is this habeas corpus? Did I learn about it in school and just purge the memory because I figured there’s no way that THAT freedom would be taken from me?

Literally, in Latin: “you [should] have the body"

A writ of habeas corpus is a judicial mandate. In a nut shell, it allows an individual who has been imprisoned to request a court hearing in objection to being detained and to determine whether or not that person is in prison lawfully. The prisoner gets an opportunity to find out why they are being held, and then prove why they should not be held. That right – gone! The bill simply removes a suspect’s right to challenge his detention in court.

I sat and watched President Bush, smugly sign an act that wipes out all our safety nets that were in place to stop illegal imprisonment. This bill is designed to make you believe that its about seeking and detaining “enemy combatants”. Where as, what it appears to do is allow anyone of us to be detained and tortured without proving that we may be the enemy. It provides a power that should be frightening to all Americans (republicans or democrats alike).

Now as I stated, I am not a political rough rouser…never claimed to be, and likely never will never be. But this is a scary time in our society. Does anyone believe for one minute that this bill isn’t going to be used to CYA in the event that “tortured” prisoners should rear their heads again?

Ken has been writing about this for a couple of days now. I sloughed off his emails and blogs and put him in a category of paranoid. And yet, this idea of losing habeas corpus has been lingering in the back of my mind. What was all this hoolala about anyhow? So I decided to be educated, at least a little, and read about his right we no longer have. And now, I think paranoia is the least of our worries.

This bill tosses aside all legal and moral restraints as the president deems it necessary – these are the fundamental principles of basic decency, as well as law. The constitution as we know it, and as we respect it and live by it, seems to be crumbling at our feet.

I'm curious as to your thoughts on this.

So I leave you with this, Keith Oberman stated in a special report yesterday, “Good night, and good luck.”

Habeas Corpus was put into an Act in 1679. Read it. Learn some history. I’ve been told those who don’t understand history are bound to repeat it.

You'd expect this in Pullman

If you don't know about Pullman, WA, consider yourself fortunate. But as you read on, you may feel unfortunately.

Pullman is home to Washington State University. Home of the Cougars. Of which I am an alum. Just because I went there doesn't me I have "issues" with the area. You see, Pullman is in the middle of farm land as far as the eye can see. There's a catchy little phrase here that goes something like: "All dirt roads lead to Pullman." And that's not far off.

Because its a farming community, one would expect to see a newspaper article like the one I found in the Seattle PI this morning.

Title: Motorcycle Collides with Cow near Everett

I know what you're thinking, "WTF?" But what is funnier is the typo in the article. I've highlighted it for your convenience.

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS EVERETT, Wash. -- A motorcycle collided with a cow on Highway Two near Everett.

State Patrol Trooper Kirk Rudeen says it happened in the dark at 4:30 this morning in the westbound lanes of the Highway Two trestle.

The car had apparently wandered onto the highway from a nearby farm. It was struck by two cars before it was hit by the motorcycle. The rider was taken to a hospital with non-life threatening injures. The two car drivers were not injured.

Rudeen says the cow was put down by at the scene by a deputy or animal control officer.

******************
You don't say? A car? Wandered onto the freeway? Shocking! Extraordinary! Wow!
Oh, and I'm not kidding about this typo. Check it out yourself. Unless of course the 4th grade editors they have on staff have found their mistake by the time you read this. Regardless, it made me laugh this morning.

And as if this isn't fun enough, I "googled" the word "cow" to find a nifty photo to post. Instead I found this. Now, after you gasp with horror, I realize its in German. But check out their navigational bar....UDDERS! That's udderly hysterical. You "calf" to see it for yourself. It's Mooooo-ving.

Okay, I'll stop. One too many caffeinated beverages this morning.

It's a Small World...and other hideous songs

I know you've been waiting with baited breath to see the next installment of the top 100 worst songs by Dudley Manlove.

A recap.

This gentle - lovely - cover song band plays the top 10 worst songs the fans vote on at the annual Halloween concert. Prior to that fateful day of bad music, they count down the top 100. Last week I gave you 100 - 90. This week, I give you 89 -80. I must say though, the boys are running out of time counting these down. They have 70 to go and only one week to do it in. How ever will they manage?

89. “Two Princes” – Spin Doctors
Blending the free-form feel of the Grateful Dead with simplistic, repetitive pop, the NYC-bred Spin Doctors became a darling of the college faux-tie-dye crowd in the early 90s. You can almost smell the patchouli when you listen to “Two Princes” – written by singer Chris Baron while a teenager. Hammering the phrase “go ahead now” into your skull over a four-chord loop, “Two Princes” solidified the Doctors as the leaders of the post-hippy jam band movement – taken over since by the Dave Matthews Band.

Fun Fact: The Spin Doctors are back in business, having released a new CD, Nice Talking to Ya, in 2005.

88. “Rico Suave” – Gerardo
Ecuadorian-born Gerardo Meija bounced around the film industry (most notable appearance: the teen movie Can’t Buy Me Love) before making his mark as the world’s first Spanglish rapper. With his Menudo-cute looks and washboard abs, Gerardo was an instant hit on MTV. “Rico” was a disturbing piece of male pig-headed bravado with some of rap’s most arrhythmic lines. “Would you rather have me lie/take a piece of your pie and say bye/or be honest and rub your thighs?” I’m thinking, Gerardo. Don’t rush me.

Fun Fact: Gerardo is still out there – he’s a record executive for Interscope and the man responsible for unleashing Enrique Iglesias on the US. Um…thanks?

87. “Sunglasses at Night” – Corey Hart
The future was sort of bright for Corey (what was it with the name Corey in the 80s, people?) Born in Montreal, the pouty-lipped Hart made a big splash with “Sunglasses,” a song that makes less and less sense with every listen. Hart followed this with his biggest hit, “Never Surrender,” before slipping into obscurity. He currently lives in the Bahamas with his wife and kids.

Fun Fact: One of the most nonsensical choruses ever written -- see if you can figure out what Corey is singing about: “Don't switch the blade on the guy in shades, oh no/Don't masquerade with the guy in shades, oh no/I can't believe it/You got it made with the guy in shades, oh no.”

86. “Wanted Dead or Alive” – Bon Jovi
Every bad band eventually records their token “life as a rock star sure is tough” song. New Jersey boys Bon Jovi took the cliché to the dreaded ‘next level’ by casting themselves as range-weary cowboys, riding steel horses from town to town, rocking everybody in their path. My favorite line: “Sometimes when you’re alone/all you do is think.” Wow, Jon. Thinking? Sounds horrible.

Fun Fact: It was this song that inspired the producers of Young Guns to hire Jon Bon Jovi to record another cowboy-lite anthem, “Blaze of Glory.”

85. “Lay Lady Lay” – Bob Dylan
Dylan’s last album of the sixties, Nashville Skyline, was the legend’s first foray into straight country – and one of his earliest attempts at carrying a bona fide melody with his voice. His vocals on “Lay Lady Lay” sound like Kermit the Frog doing a Dylan impersonation – making Dylan one of the few singers we’d rather not hear try to sing.

Fun Fact: Artists that have covered “Lay Lady Lay”: Cher, Duran Duran and Isaac Hayes.

84. “Obsession” – Animotion
Born from the ashes of the Los Angeles sci-fi rock band Red Zone (again with the science fiction – won’t these people learn?) Animotion committed musical hit-and-run in ’85 with “Obsession,” a techno-pop piece of crap complete with bleating synths, overdriven guitars and lyrics that go “clunk” in the night: "Your face appears againI see the beauty thereBut I see dangerStranger bewareA circumstance in your naked dreamYour affection is not what it seems."
A circumstance in your naked dream? Anybody want to take a stab at figuring out what that means?

Fun Fact: “Obsession” was co-written by hitmaker Holly Knight; she also wrote “Love is a Battlefield” for Pat Benatar, “Better Be Good to Me” for Tina Turner and Rod Stewart’s “Love Touch.”

83. “867-5309/Jenny”—Tommy Tutone - One of my votes
Originally named Tommy and the Tutones, the San Francisco band had a minor hit in 1980 (“Angel Say No”) before making musical history with their ode to bathroom graffiti. The most popular phone number in rock and roll now belongs to a plumbing company in Dallas, which uses the song as their jingle.

Fun Fact: The song was written by Alex Call, the singer for the SF rock band Clover – which featured a young Huey Lewis on harmonica.

82. “Puttin’ on the Ritz” – Taco
Born to a Dutch couple in Jakarta, Taco (born Taco Okerse – yes, “Taco” is his real name) made a name for himself in Berlin by updating old jazz standards as weak New Wave-ish dance tunes. His first major release, After Eight, contained versions of “Singin’ in the Rain,” “La Vie en Rose” and, of course, “Ritz.” An Irving Berlin classic, Taco’s “Ritz” drains the life right out of the song, replacing it with a vocal so emotionless it makes Kraftwerk sound like Meat Loaf.

Fun Fact: Taco recorded the theme song for the Tom Selleck film Lassiter, entitled “Beware of the Winners.”

81. “Run Joey Run” – David Geddes
You have to hear this song to believe it. It’s a reworking of the teen death song (see “Teen Angel” and “Last Kiss” for reference) and the story goes something like this: Boy loves girl. Girl loves boy. Girl and boy want to marry. Girl’s father hates boy (reasons unknown – but we get the idea that the girl is preggers). Father and girl fight. Boy tries to stop father. Father shoots gun – and kills girl. Pure hokum disguised as tragedy.

Fun Fact: Geddes (born David Cole Idema) got his stage name from a street in his hometown of Ann Arbor, MI.

80. “Achy Breaky Heart” -- Billy Ray Cyrus
Discovered in 1990 while opening for Reba McIntyre in Kentucky, little-known country artist Cyrus flung his ample mullet and trademark white tennis shoes into the national spotlight with this song (originally titled “Don’t Break My Heart”). Though three subsequent hits made the Hot 100, Cryus has yet to have a big follow-up hit to “Achy.” No matter – the line dance created for the song has survived. And Cyrus has had a surprising career as an actor, starring in the David Lynch film Mulholland Drive and on the PAX TV show "Doc."

Fun Fact: The late comedic genius Bill Hicks once proposed a television show entitled “Let’s Hunt and Kill Billy Ray Cyrus.”


Next up: 79 through 70. Stay tuned...

Red red wine you make me feel so fine

I woke up this morning with this song pounding in my brain. I could pretend I didn’t know why, but that would be a misconception. I know that my brain is pounding because we went through 2 bottles of red wine last night…mind you I started the night off with a glass before my guests arrive. Then there were only 4 of us who “shared” the first bottle. Followed by two of us mostly sharing the second bottle (one person had a half of glass, so that doesn’t count.)

You may be wondering what fan fare took place last night that caused your’s truly to imbibe in drink. My annual Pumpkin Carving party of course. What other reason to drink wine is there except with good food and good friends? Of which I had plenty of both last night.

I spent the day cooking my much infamous – now famous – Spaghetti Bolognese. It was a hit as usual. God, I love cooking – and more importantly cooking for people who appreciate a good meal. Other viddles that were on hand for the night is Sherrie's famous shrimp appetizer - which we plowed through. Mark brought his required rice krispie treats, of which I told him had to be orange. But Mark, being an over achiever, went an extra mile and made them BLACK with little pumpkins on top. Very chic! Finally the food fanfare was finished off by my chocolate cupcakes (excuse the crumbs in this post since I'm having one for breakfast. What? Like you've never craved chocolate while hung over!)

The pumpkins came in all shapes and sizes. We had small ones, a tall one, and a couple pudgy ones. But as in the past, we dug in immediately to the guts and goo that was inside our pumpkins. Scraping and pulling out the insides so that we could start the real work of art. It was interesting to see how people proceed with the official carving. Some folks took their time and contemplated, then drawing their design, then carving. Others, myself included, just dug in. Now, the thing you need to know here is that my phrase for the evening was, “uh-oh!" Followed by, "hmm, that’s not right”. My pumpkin ended up with the endearing title of “Grampa Gums”. What? I can’t help it if I carved the bottom of the mouth forgetting it needed teeth until I had carved all the way across. I’m no professional. (Side note: The fastest pumpkin carving time according to Guinness is 24 seconds. The requirement was eyes, nose, mouth and ears. TWENTY FOUR SECONDS….WTF? And they had all their fingers left.)

By the time the evening winded down we had 6 masterfully carved pumpkins destined to go into the Scrapbook Hall of Fame for Pumpkin Carving. (Side note: no blood was shed in the carving of these pumpkins)

Yes, Yes. The Crush was there last night. No the red wine didn’t assist in any advancements by me, or him as he was sharing the second bottle with me. But I did discover a rather interesting thing about myself last night. The more I am myself the more comfortable I am. Sounds deep, I know. But the truth was, last night I didn’t have any expectations or pressures on me or my guests, which made for on bitchin’ evening. Oh and in case you're wondering what's on my head, I took it upon myself to wear my Black Cat dilly-bobbers all night.

Pookie took part in our adventures too. He came dressed in costume. First he came as a black cat (get it? he's already black...it's a joke). Anyhow, then I decided to put him in his pumpkin costume. He didn't appreciate it one bit, but endured the torture for our entertainment. Yah, no photos are available as the pumpkin hat stayed on for about one mila-second.


And here are our masterpieces. We're brillant I tell ya. We should all do this for a living. In order, starting from the left the pumpkins belong to: Gary, Claudia, Mark, Grampa Gums (mine), Claudia's gord, and Sherrie's Little Beek. (Mark commented on Sherrie's pumpkin looking like it had a beek for a mouth).

UNCLE! UNCLE!

Hi Uncle Johnny! I added mom's blog to the links.

My mom informed me today that my uncle reads my blog. To quote my mom, "After I first recovered from the shock of him calling in the first place, I had to recover from the second shock of him knowing how to even turn on a computer, much less finding your blog! He wants to know why the link to my blog is no longer on your blog. He said that was the only way he could find my blog."

Uncle Johnny...what memories I have of him. Uncle Johnny (well call him UJ - original, no?) is one of my mom's brothers. Please don't ask me to build a family tree, because I can't. UJ used to work for a nursery in Monrovia, CA. When my sister and I were kids mom and dad used to ship us off to live with mom's parents in Cali for the summer. We used to love those carefree days. Just sitting here thinking about it conjures up a smile. I can almost smell the dry California heat as it pounded off the payment. The smell of old grease on grandpa's hands after he'd been puttering on something in the garage, mixed with the smell of dirt of him puttering in a garden. Grandpa used to make me climb up the BIG avocado tree and knock avocados down for lunch.

But this isn't about grandpa. Its about UJ. So I'm not 100% what UJ did for work at this time, I was a kid, I don't care about those things. What I did care about was what he brought home with him late at night after work....

In N Out burgers. He'd bring home IN N Out almost every night. And he'd share that with my sister and I as we'd watch Three Stooges' reruns (woo woo woo - think curly). To this day, I can't watch a Three Stooges rerun and not think of UJ.

So welcome to my life UJ. Happy reading.

Happy Birthday to ...

...well not me, but my blog.

Today its been one year since that fateful day I decided to write a blog. And what a year its been. I sat that day and tried to think of anything fun, witty and exciting to write about. Lacking all of those, I just wrote about me. B-O-R-I-N-G! And I questioned what on earthy I would write about on a blog.

Now one year later, I have 229 posts.

I've fully informed you about DMQ, left pictures even. You know about my likes, my dislikes, my family, my crush, my car, my friends, my work, my lack of work, etc. You'd think I'd have nothing more to bore you with. But alas, never fear...I have plenty to bore you with.

So Happy Birthday Blog.

This morning was another historic event. The 'Stang and I almost died. Oh and my passenger, she would have died too had I not had the cuppa joe this morning waiting for my carpool passenger. Caffeine and adrenaline are a powerful combination.

The 'Stang clicked 3000 miles today. THREE THOUSAND MILES...and it hasn't even been two month. AND we almost got in an accident. Carpool Pal and I aren't exactly sure what was happening, so we made up a theory. Two cars are sitting on the side of the road. A small black sedan and a big white pathfinder. They both appear to be either finishing up an accident report or something. I see them sitting there and am changing lanes to get into the right lane to get off the freeway.

I'm going about 65 - really I'm only going 65. Suddenly, out of no where the black sedan bolts out in front of us in our lane, and SLAMS on his breaks. The white pathfinder, meanwhile, is pulling out just as quick. I slam on my breaks, and position the car to be in between these two cars, hoping 1) to avoid hitting either of them and 2) to avoid being hit by this hideously large bus behind us. I stall the car, and some how manage to miss both the black sedan and the white pathfinder. Wedged between both of them, I start the car and pull away. Carpool Pal meanwhile is white as a ghost. My hands were shaking and she and I just looked at each other like, "WTF?"

She proceeds to tell me that it might have been road rage, because the guy in the black sedan was shouting and gesturing to the guy in the white pathfinder (she at least saw they were guys, I was focusing on their license plates). The rest of the way to work we laughed nervously about how close that was, and how funny it was that I was between both cars, and THANK GOD they didn't pull out a gun or something.

Cars fine.

I'm fine.

Carpool Pal is fine.

All of us are shaking like a leaf still. I can't believe I stalled the car. I completely forgot I had a standard while slamming on my breaks. F!#$%^ drivers!

Ouch! My Brain hurts!

magineay fay ewa adhay otay riteway niay igpay atinlay! OlyHay owkay! hattay ouldway ebay oughtay!

This is what I've spent some of my day on. Imagining how it would be if we had to talk and write in Pig Latin. (you were saying, mom, about me needing help?)

In other more relevant news, the remainder of my contract here is being picked up by another group. So I'm safe until at least January. Of course, that announcement comes on the heels to a ANTASTIC-FAY NTERVIEW-IAY. Cross your appendiages for me on this one.

Dudley Manlove is gearing up for their top 10 Worst Songs this year (Oct 28th is the show). I thought it would be fun to see what's in the line up already.

100. “In the Year 2525 (Exoridum and Terminus)” – Zager and Evans
Fun Fact: “In the Year 2525” was the number one single in the country on July 20, 1969, the date of the Armstrong/Aldrin moon landing.

99. “I Will Always Love You” – Whitney Houston
Written by Dolly Parton in 1973 (reportedly during her professional breakup with country legend Porter Wagoner), it wasn’t until Houston’s bombastic version appeared in The Bodyguard that the ballad took the pop charts by storm. And storm it did – the song peaked at #1 and stayed there for 14 weeks. That’s a whole lotta love.

Fun Fact: In a recent interview, Parton claimed that Elvis Presley wanted to record the song.

98. “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” – Wham! Jitterbug!
The duo of Andrew Ridgeley and, um…er…I can never remember that other guy’s name. I want to say George Michael, but isn’t that the host of The Sports Machine? Written by Michael – and inspired by a note Ridgeley left at a hotel – “Wake Me Up” introduced the world to men wearing daisy dukes and glow-in-the-dark gloves.

Fun Fact: Ridgeley went on to marry Keren Woodward, one of the original members of Bananarama. I could have sworn he was gay.

Side bar: They also performed the ill memory song Careless Whispers. One song in which my mother and I cannot hear on the radio without calling the other person. See June 19, 2006 for info on Mike Pomerleau.

97. “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” – Wang Chung
Pop Quiz: in the sentence “Everybody Wang Chung tonight,” please conjugate the verb “wang chung.” Now do it without being vulgar.

Fun Fact: Originally called “Huang Chung,” the band claimed their name meant “perfect pitch” in Chinese. Later, they confessed that “wang chung” was their description of the sound an electric guitar makes. Deep.

96. “We’re Not Gonna Take It” – Twisted Sister
Take a glam rock band from NYC with a charismatic lead singer (Dee Snider, possibly the ugliest cross-dresser since Milton Berle.) Give them a sing-a-long rock anthem all about fighting authority. Steal the melody from “O Come All Ye Faithful” (sing the first line of the chorus of both songs back to back – you’ll see.) I’m just surprised more bands don’t follow this tried-and-true formula.

Fun Fact: Dee Snider testified in Washington DC to protest the use of warning labels on rock records. Two other notable testifiers: Frank Zappa...and John Denver.

Side bar: This was one of the songs I voted on originally, but decided to not make the boys of the band potentially sing this one. Why? Because it gets stuck in my head and won't go away.

95. “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” – Trace Adkins
For those readers unfamiliar, the term “badonkadonk” (I hate typing it as much as you hate reading it) is an onomatopoetic reference to the movement of a lady’s ample rear end while walking or dancing. Adkins, a top Country artist, broke into mainstream pop radio by co-opting the hip-hop term for his first and only crossover hit. Sample lyric: “We hate to see her go/but we love to watch her leave/with that honky tonk badonkadonk/keepin’ perfect rhythm/make ya wanna swing along/like Donkey Kong.”

Fun Fact: A former oil rig worker, Trace Adkins is missing part of a finger. OK, maybe that’s not really “fun.”

94. “Dirrty” – Christina Aguilera
Redman Xtina’s first solo attempt at roughing up her bubblegum musical image was also her first true flop on the pop charts – maybe it was the Mad Max-ish video featuring Aguilera as some sort of futuristic lap dancer and/or pro wrestler. Maybe it was the extra “r” in the title. Or maybe her fans wanted her to use her phenomenal voice on an actual song.

Fun Fact: “Dirrty” spent 20 weeks on the Hot 100 – an amazing feat considering the song didn’t crack the Top 40.

93. “Courtesy of the Red White and Blue (The Angry American)” – Toby Keith
Ugly Americanism at its worst: “And you’ll be sorry that you messed with/the U.S. of A./`Cause we`ll put a boot in your ass/It`s the American way.” Keith has since claimed that he wrote those harsh words right after 9/11 imagining what he father, a veteran who had recently died, would think. “I never really intended for this to be a song,” says Keith. That’s just wishful thinking now.

Fun Fact: Keith considers himself a “conservative Democrat.”

92. “Dirty White Boy” – Foreigner
"Dirty White Boy," one of their least succesful compositions, reinvents rock star Gramm as a boy from the wrong side of the tracks who is apparently both white and dirty. To convince us, he repeats the phrase "dirty white boy" 29 times. We get it, Lou. Now hit the showers.

Fun Fact: The album Head Games (featuring "Dirty White Boy") contained a song called "Blinded by Science." Two years later, Foreigner recorded their biggest album, 4, with Thomas Dobly on keyboards -- who later had a hit with "She Blinded Me With Science." Eerie, no?

91. “I Wanna Be a Cowboy” -- Boys Don’t Cry
Named after a Cure song, Boys Don’t Cry were five British studio musicians who had one novelty hit and rode off into the sunset. Since then, the only place they’ve been active is in the court room – Richards and Chatton have sued both Paula Cole (for the remix of “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone”) and Kid Rock (for the song “Cowboy”) for using the phrase “I Wanna Be a Cowboy.” Dudes, just be happy anyone remembers your song.

Fun Fact: Richards owned the Maison Rouge studio in London where acts like Wham and A-ha recorded in the 80s.

90. “The Final Countdown” – Europe
Last year’s #1 Worst Song tumbles way down the poll this year. Another wretched sci-fi rock song, “Countdown” is best remembered for its repetitive keyboard line and clumsy, clunky lyrics. Imagine “Star Wars” composer John Williams writing a rock song and singing in halting English, throw in the obligatory hammer-on guitar solo, and you’ve got “The Final Countdown.”

Fun Fact: “The Final Countdown” shares its name with a 1980 time-travel movie starring Kirk Douglas and Martin Sheen.

Next up: 89 - 80. Stay tuned...

Signma Pi Alpha Moo (SPAM)

You know how people say you can tell a lot about a person by the types of books on their books shelf. Do you think the same is true for the type of SPAM they get? I thought we’d take a walk through Jenn’s SPAM folder. First, thank GOD that Yahoo has a good SPAM sorter.

From: Acclaim Visa’s Approval Department
Subject: You’re Approved, now activated

From: Approval Notice
Subject: Your $7500 card, ready to spend when you are

From: Approval Notice
Subject: Jennifer, a reminder to accept your $7500 card

(Incidentally those two messages came within a minute of each other. Didn’t give me too much time to reply to the first one. How rude!)

From: BlackSingles
Subject: Meet Black singles in your area

From: Capital Service
Subject: Borrowing never got easier

From: Christian Advisor
Subject: Christian Home Owners, rates are rising

From: Clear your debt
Subject: Restart your life Debt free

From: Dating
Subject: Single Christians in your area looking for you

From: Debt Erasers
Subject: Legally cancel your credit card debt

From: Get Paid Today
Subject: Your opinion is worth money

From: Instant Funds
Subject: Need a raise.

From: Online Dating
Subject: Get introduced to someone in 24 hours

So two things occurred to me.

1) Apparently I’m in need to be debt free, and EVERYONE has $$ to give me. I added up how much I was being offered in “free” credit cards, over $28K. Um, yah no thanks. Credit cards and me are not a good combo.

2) Apparently there a bunch of single Christians waiting around to hear from me. Except that I’m not the religions type. Spiritual? Yes. Religious? No.

I have to admit I’m disappointed that no one offered me to enlarge my penis, or send me prescription drugs, or enhance my bust line. Those were at least entertaining.

PS - Did you know SPAM is one of the main foods Hawaiian's eat? It comes in a bunch of different flavors. Whodathunk?

The world is out to get me..

I’m sure of it. A friend once told me, many years ago, that the world is not out to get me. I think she might have been wrong.

The job I was vying for passed on me. Their feedback was that they don’t have any jobs that currently fit my skill set. Fan-freakin-tastic. Thank god I kept looking.

Though I’m still batting below average. With my resume in a hundred different places, surely ONE of them would come through. It just has to.

I’m also getting very close to freaking out. I don’t like the idea at all of not having a job in three weeks. In a fit of desperation I actually applied for administrative assistant positions. I’m getting worried that my fear of not being employed will take over the desire to have the perfect job. Maybe I just need the “right now” job instead of the perfect job.

And so this week starts the cancellation of many things. Dinners out, netflix, a few other monthly subscriptions, cable will likely go (which probably isn’t a bad thing), weekend plans… all … have to be postponed or cancelled.

Then this weekend I did the one thing that I knew wouldn’t be healthy for me…I went down the “what if I had made this decision a different way” road. You know the road? The one where you think about decisions you’ve made in your life, and how your life may be different had you made the decision differently.

One decision stood out defiantly in my mind. A decision to not take a job within Catalysis many years ago. Had I taken that job, I’d probably still be working there. I’d be of value to the organization, and best of all I wouldn’t be looking for a job.

The flip side is, had I taken that job, I’d never be a project manager, never would have taken and passed the PMP, never would have met some of the amazing people who are currently in my life now.

So I guess it all works out. Interestingly enough I never thought about decisions I made toward men and how my life would be different. Too much stress to think about relationships right now. But man, if I only had that second income.

I'm a Barbie Girl...

At least that's how I feel with a UBER Pink blog. I clicked on my link and reclicked it because I thought I was on someone else's blog. But that was before cuppa Joe.

So I haven't heard on Awesome Job #1 yet. The interviewer said she'd get back to me later this week. Well, today is later, isn't it? Oh the dread. The pain of unknowing. I hate this. I hate being patient. I'm no good at it. I'm a sensor after all. (Reference: I Speak Your Language personality test: Sensors: Works on wide variety of tasks at once, demonstrates incredible attention to detail, high value placed on action, thrives on getting things done, direct & Down to earth, and energetic).

I've now officially applied to 75 jobs. This really is a numbers game isn't it. The more you apply the more likely you are to be called. I find myself now applying for jobs I'm not quite qualified for and/or am not all that interested in doing. But I'm getting stressed with another week under my belt and soon to be out of a job.

Though anytime now I'm sure the phone will be ringing off the hook. I always think of this process as a funnel. You throw out a big net, then you hear nothing...then slowly, they start funneling in, they start working through their processes and finally get around to calling. So call already! Operators are standing by!

At first I was afraid, I was petrified....

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month - thus the pink blog.

Are you aware of your breasts? More importantly are you aware of any thing weird, or odd about your breasts?

Many of you know, best friend and cousin Sherrie suffered through breast cancer 3 years ago. Her markers today are good! Thanks God. Yet I still feel she's scared to death that it may come back, patiently counting the days that turn to months that turn to her 5 year clean date. Of which we should celebrate. I'll bring the pink.

I can still remember that fateful day she found out. We were scheduled to move just two days after. The fear in her voice was unmistakable. But her courage throughout is what showed what she was made of.

Having someone that close to you go through such a traumatic ordeal makes one put ones life in perspective...if only for a moment.

So with this month being the month of breast cancer I thought it important to give you some statistics.

*One in seven women will be diagnosed with breast cancer, and increase of one in twenty in 1960.
*Every 2 minutes a woman is diagnosed
*40,000 women will die this year alone AND 470 men will
*25% of women with breast cancer are younger than 50
*80-85% of women diagnosed do not have any family history of breast cancer

So go on, cop a feel and make sure you're healthy. And in case you haven't, call your doctor and make yourself a mamogram appt (provided you're old enough). Then schedule a trip to your local burger joint and have yourself a shake. That's what I do. I go to the doctor, leave feeling like my boobs got squished in a very cold freezer door, then I head straight to my favorite burger joint to celebrate.

Morning has broken, like the first mor-OR-neen...

For some reason when things start changing in my life, they do so at a rate at which even I can't keep up. When I'm down about not having any friends to hang with, or any new job, or any new love...suddenly, as if a wish being granted, things happen.

I'm a proponent of things happening for a reason. I'm convinced that we do write our own tale, and by writing we are given a glimpse into what our novel will be.

Case in point. I'm bored. I have a solid case of "Life Blahs". There's no denying it and there appeared to be no remedy. I have taken up permanent resident in Rut Road. I seem to have lopped off all my friends by being bitter and lonely and pissed toward their lack of interest in me. I know that sounds egotistical, I agree. But more to the point it was that I felt/feel that I was doing all the planning with said friends. That if I ever wanted to see them, that I had t make the effort. Frankly, that gets very old. Maybe it's wrong for me to want my friends to at least meet me half way. Either way, I've made a decision and now I have to be strong. Its like spring cleaning. Only its fall.

So now, the bored, rut like life has taken over. It effects almost every vein of my life and I swear it's snowballing. And yet, out of the blue....WHAM something new. Then WHAM, something else new...and suddenly I'm getting smacked repeatedly by things that are new and different.

First, Sur La Table class. Monday night I "assisted" the chef in a Sur La Table class. After sneaking through the store with blinders I found myself in the "test Kitchen". (had to sneak in so as to not buy anything) This GRAND kitchen with all the gadgets and pots and pans and tableware and knifes and .... oh boy. My heart skipped went pitter-pat. The Chef for the night also happens to be the Program Coordinator for the "assistants". She's a fabulous person and clearly demonstrated her knife abilities during class. Anyhow, I loved the entire adventure. I couldn't wait to get more. I couldn't have felt more at home. And to my astonishment, I was surprised how strong my knife skills were. She "tested" us if you will before class since we'd be helping the students. And she said that I was a talented cutter who appeared to have had years of experience. I assumed that was a compliment. Anyhow, I learned a few things that night about cutting, bleach and cold water (apparently hot water kills the bleach so you're not supposed to use hot water and bleach), certain types of cuts like chiffonade and brunoise. I knew what both were, I just didn't know what they were "officially" called. Bottom line: I had a blast. I was so very excited to share my skills with those who, quite frankly some didn't know which end of the knife to use. But in the end they could apply at Benny Hanahas... okay, maybe not. But still, I'm just sayin'.

Then comes the interview. I had a second interview for a company and position I would very much like to have. The cynic in me says to not get too excited, because you'll just get disappointed. But the Blissful Girl (who has apparently been on vacation) showed herself and helped me through the interview. The woman I met with is a sharp woman and very much the type of manager I would want to not only be one day, but definitely work for and learn from. The morning started by riding up in the elevator with a woman who commented on how beautiful my kate spade bag was. Now, any of you who know me and my purse addiction know that comments like that send me over the edge. I was giddy with excitement and thanked her and told her I bought it in NY, etc. 30 seconds. That's it. Once in the interview, the director came out and said, "Oh you do have a nice kate spade." Apparently the woman I road up in the elevator with was her assistant. She had told the director that she thought she road up with her interview and thought I was so friendly and outgoing. The director told me that and then said, it speaks volumes of the type of person you are if you are friendly to people you don't know. So message to the wise...be nice to people. You never know who they're connected to. Anyhow, the interview went well, and now its a wait and see game. But I felt really confident and good when I left. So that's a W in the column for me. YaY!

Then last night was my first "teaching" gig for the program overview. Which went very well, thanks for asking. Prior to that the director at BCC whom I work with asked me to meet her early she had a few things to discuss with me. Well, okay. As she and I were chatting she told me she'd like me to go to the BCC main campus to participate in some sort meeting and represent the Continued Ed PM Program by being a guest speaker once a quarter. Basically selling the program like I was doing in the PM overview classes. Hmm? Okay. I am flattered and SO VERY EXCITED. Of course I'd do it. Exposure! It's all about Exposure! I have no idea what I'll be discussing or talking about, but I didn't care. I was just so excited that she thought I was a valuable team player and thought I was a perfect voice of BCC Continued Ed. Another W for me. Yay!

Then today, out of the blue, friend Claudia (former instructor of mine and person with whom we are always missing each other) sends me an email and asks if I would be a guest lecturer in one of her classes in January. My first thought was, "OH BOY!" Then I stopped and thought at how odd it was that suddenly, I am being asked, albeit for relatively small insignificant events, to be a speaker. I suppose I shouldn't say "relatively insignificant" because it very well could be significant for someone in the class.

So here I am, trying desperately to move off of Rut Road, and doors are opening all around me. Fate? Destiny? A Sign of things to come? Don't know. And frankly, right now, I don't care. I'm living in the moment. Now, if only I could figure out how to open the Door of Relationships.

Tienes Cola? (Do you have a tail?)

A phrase more familiar to you would be, "Were you born in a barn?" Meaning, why'd you leave the door open?

Remember the other phrase, when one door closes another one opens. I’ve heard it said, that all to frequently we watch the closed door so fervently that we miss the open one. As it turns out, another door has opened for me, and by god, I actually saw it open. But further, I stepped through it.

My life of late has been a shadow of its former self. All that I held dear seemed to belong to someone else. I’ve lost many a friends in the past years to significant others. Losing my latest friend took a toll on me. He may not even realize he’s lost, and may not even care…or more to the point, perhaps he’s not lost, but I’ve put him away. I've let him go.

Regardless of how low and unfulfilled I’ve felt, suddenly I see light. Forgetting that I signed up for something that truly would add enjoyment into my life, and seeing that come out made me happy for at least a bit.

I signed up many months ago to assist classes at Sur La Table. If you’re not familiar with Sur La Table first let me say, “WTF?”. Then let me add, that really you should make yourself aware of the glorious cooking supply store that is Sur La Table.

Anyhow, this weekend I got a notification from them indicating that they had an opening for several of their classes and would I still be interested in being an assistant to the chef, and/or assisting with the class. Um, yah! Dah!

My first class is tonight. It’s a knife cutting skill class. I’m so excited to start doing something new, something different, and very much something up my ally. This is exactly what I needed. Something to move my focus from feeling left behind, to focusing on something that I truly have a passion for…cooking. And as a bonus, after 5 classes you get a free class or a gift certificate to the store. Oh glory day!

Tomorrow is the “big Interview”. I spent a good portion of the weekend thinking up examples and answers to difficult questions. Then suddenly last night I tossed it all aside. I don’t want to impress this person with my sudden knowledge; I want to impress this person with my extensive knowledge and experience. If I truly have the experience that I feel qualifies me, then no amount of preparation will help me eloquently describe my abilities. I feel enormously confident in tomorrow’s interview. Whether I’m offered this job or not, I still feel good about going into this interview and dazzling them with all that is me.