Once a band geek, always a band geek.

I woke up thinking about the routine. I knew that this was history in the making for me and the first step to me grabbing the rings of what I wanted and running with it. I was the first freshman at Antelope Valley High to march in a parade their freshmen year. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

My band career started at Piute Jr. High. My 7th grade year I tried out and owned the tall flags. They were really just very tall flags that spelled out P-I-U-T-E. I was the "captain" you could say. None of the other girls cared what happened with this small 5 person line. I cared. We followed the band and announced the flag girls. To a 7th grader this was a big deal.

My 8th grade year I decided to step out a bit and try out for banner. They had these groovy head dresses that I thought would be so fun to wear. The banner flipped from spelling out P-I-U-T-E to opening to say W-A-R-R-I-O-R-S. The captain of the banner team didn't like me, and I didn't much care for her. It made for a tough season. But I stuck with it despite the things that were said about me and the things I was asked to do. I remember on several occasions wanting to quit, but knew that quitting was what they wanted.
By 9th grade I was a band geek through and through. I loved everything about it. The performing, the practices, the friendships, everything. I tried out for banner at Antelope Valley High School - and made it. But I wasn't interested. I, instead, saw something much more interesting... the rifle squad. I casually walked over and asked if I could learn. After about 20 minutes I had the basic rifle toss down. The captain of the squad, Shelly, asked if I was interested as they needed a few more alternates. Sure, why not. I wasn't all that jazzed about the banner, so why not. She gave me a few more moves to practice and sent me on my way with my first practice rifle.
I tossed it. I flipped it. I dropped it. I bruised myself. I practiced and practiced until I could barely stand. That rifle went everywhere with me. Everywhere. In fact, BigBro has a story he always tells about the fam camping in Death Valley. It was night and I was out front of the truck flipping and tossing this rifle. All they heard by the fire was,
whap whap whap, crash, "CRAP!"
whap whap - OUCH - whap whap CRAP
And it went on and on. I was covered in bruises. But I was getting good.
Band practice started in August. I showed up with this broken and well used practice rifle and fit right into line. I learned the routine. I practiced. I did all the things freshmen do in bands - all the crap stuff they make you do. And I practiced some more.
The first football game was approaching. I knew the routine inside and out. I had practiced it with the team and I knew I could do it. Shelly approached me and asked me to fill in for someone who was sick. My first field show. I'll never forget it. The smell of the night, the feel of the wet grass under our boots, the slickness of the rifle from the mist...but I was on the field.
Following the field show, were more parades, more field shows, more competitions. All of which, me, a freshman, got to participate in. AV didn't usually allow their freshmen to march in the flag core. They usually had so many participants that you were for all practical purposes red shirted your freshmen year. The grunts. But there I was, tossing and doing 360's with the upper class men.
The year ended and our family had moved across town. I could still go to AV or I could go to Quartz Hill High - the rival. I knew the rival band and I knew their rifle core. Most importantly, I knew they stunk. And I knew I could be the captain of this rifle core and teach them how to be a great line.
I contacted the band director and set up an appt to try out. I was basically challenging the current captain. Looking back now I have to wonder who the hell did I think I was? But I knew that I was better and that I could bring great things to that team.
The day of the try out loomed. I practiced and practiced. I had the routine down perfectly. Sadly I even remember the song...it was, after all the 80's, so Culture Club was the new big thing.
I met the band director in the band room. Set the recorder down. Gave him a brief explanation of what I was going to do and how I had come to be there. I hit play.
The opening bars played, I tossed, I snapped, I flipped, I twirled. I was in a rhythm. There was a critical part of the routine that was a 360 (basically tossing a triple and doing a full turn underneath the rifle). Triples took height, the band room didn't really have the height. But I tossed it anyhow and I put so much effort into it that I kept it low. I spun around and caught the rifle perfectly. I ended the routine and I remember the band director scratching his chin. I could clearly see he was contemplating what to do. Then with a low voice he said, "Welcome aboard captain."
I was so excited. But I knew that was only the beginning. Next step was recruiting and getting in good with the already existing flag line.
I begged my mom to send me to USA camp again. I had gone the year before and wanted to go again with the QHHS team. USA camp was a flag and rifle corpse camp where they taught you discipline, new skills, and about team work. Like I said, I had gone the year before, but didn't really feel the need to prove myself like I did this year. This year I wanted to be part of the Super Sensational team. The team that was hand selected from the instructors and who performed at the end of the camp.
I was put into a level much higher than what I should be in as a sophomore, and put with a team I considered to be the goddesses of the rifle world, Palo Alto. Damn they were good. There were 4 of them and me who made Super Sensational. That's me in the white shorts to the left. What you can't see is the crowd of people watch us. I remember being so nervous and so afraid that I was going to make the rest of the team look bad. But I prevailed and I got my Super Sensational ribbon to prove it.


Then it was time to go home and recruit. I had 15 girls show up to try out. All levels of ability and professionalism. But I was able to find 8 (that was how many we were allowed) that I thought would make a good squad. And I had my work cut out for me.
We practiced all the time. We made up routines together - I knew I wasn't the most creative with routines and I relied on a few of the team members who had brought with them some serious skill. And before I knew it we were marching in the Antelope Valley Fair parade. Then the football games followed with many competitions throughout the season. I loved absolutely everything about it. Our team was tight and we were getting better.

Then came the competition in which we'd be competing against my old squad. AV had won all the competitions up to that point - and I figured they'd beat us in this one. We went out there and did our best, we threw in a 360 which was risky in that two of the 6 of us on the field only hit them about 30% of the time. But no risk no glory right? We twirled, we marched, we tossed to the beat of The Final Countdown - remember... the 80's!
Marching off the field, I had only caught glimpses of what we had done and I couldn't recall a single drop. Could it be possible? AV took the field, and I counted two drops on their part. Still, they were good. Damn good.
The award ceremony loomed and I knew we'd most likely go home with 2nd place. Though much to my surprise we won first place. In fact, my team had to prod me to go get the trophy because I wasn't paying attention figuring we had just lost altogether. But we had won. We had no drops and were perfectly in sync the entire time.
I often look back on those years with a smile on my face. It was surely a trying time - high school and all. But I did things that I knew would be paving my wave for the future. I didn't realize then that being a part of something like the band kept me on the straight and narrow. The friends I made there are friends of a lifetime. Many I still talk to. Many I don't. But the memories I have will stay with me forever.
This morning I watched the moving Drumline. That movie reminds me about all the days of practicing and discipline that it took to be something great. It may have been over 20 years ago, but I can still pull out my rifle and do some damage - usually to myself - but I can still toss doubles (outside) and do the tossing and twirling that made a small part of who I am today.

Open up your plans and damn your free...look into your heart and you'll find the sky is yours.

Okay, I’ll get on the “what am I thankful” bandwagon. And I’ll be serious too.

I’m thankful for….

1. I’m rarely serious
2. The Stang – what? I’m thankful for my rock solid, kick ass car. Actually I should be thankful to Wachovia since they “officially” own it.
3. My job. As bored as I am right now, I’m still thankful to have to get up at the buttcrack past dawn and drive my sleepy butt to work. Hoping that today will be the day all my presales projects will become real projects and I’ll be so overworked my head will split into two.
4. 80’s hair bands. Without whom I couldn’t have so many horrible songs pop into my head very randomly.
5. Flamingos. Without them I’d not have an odd bone in my body.
6. OMG, I’m so thankful for coffee. That should actually be #2 or er ah maybe #3
7. My family. The Family hedge makes me smile and I’m glad that I have a family to laugh at – or with.
8. Air. Yah, fresh clean air. Rock on!
9. All the people who work hard every day to make this world just a little better.
10. Recycling.
11. Batman and Robin – without them we’d never believe in heroes.
12. The Interweb (or the internets if your Patron Saint)
13. Jason Marz – without whom I would not love love LOVE my new favorite song
14. Water. Without it I’d not be able to be thankful for #6.
15. Friends. They all rock. And though I may not always agree with them, or what they’re doing, I still think they are awesome.
16. Pink.
17. Cameras.
    
    Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! That means YOU! Gobble Gobble!

I’ve got too much time on my hands, it’s hard to believe such a calamity

You gotta love Styx in the morning. When I was thinking about what to write in today’s blog, that song popped into my head. And in case you don’t know…you can check it out here – Go ahead PMDude – you know you want to. And be sure to check out they way groovy hair styles.

It’s been a couple of days since I last wrote and so much hasn’t happened that it’s difficult to find anything to write. So let me go back to the weekend update.

Saturday – Apple Cup (aka Crapple Cup)
I survived an Apple Cup party at my house. (For those who don't know the Apple Cup is a college football game between University of Washington and Washington State University - basically our state rivalry). I had a whole lotta Washington Huskies in my house who were sad after the game. Poor little puppies lost to a team that could arguably be worse than them. Let’s put it into numbers so you can see just how bad the Huskies and Cougars were this year (BTW – I’m a Cougar. )

The game wouldn't end. It went into TWO overtimes, but we ultimately tired the other kicker out and won 16-13. Coming into the game, UW had no wins this season, 0-9. Yes, that’s right, sob if you must. A loss to us put them at 0-10. They were ranked #1 of the top 20 WORST teams. Right behind them was the #2 team the Washington State Cougars – who’s season was 1-8 before this game. The 1 win was against a local high school team (I’m joking – sorta). At one point this season the combined score for three games in a row the Cougars played was 169-0. Ugh.

And so with that, we all knew this game would be painful. So I did what I always do when pain is approaching, I throw a party with good food and good drink. Blueberry and I were the only Cougs in the room, and thus the only “happy” two after the game. Although, that’s not entirely true I guess since the Husky fans were “happy” the season was basically over. Not quite though, they still have to play Cal this weekend which will put them at 0-12. Good times.

Here’s a photo of me “practicing” to be a Cougar (see WSU is well known for its party atmosphere). Yep, that's me on the left - the short cut one with a HUGE Coor's bottle in her hand.

Sunday
After cleaning up after the Crapple Cup I had my Seattle SIL and Blueberry over for a day of scrapbooking. I realized I’m so far behind in getting my vacations done, that I’m going to make a concerted effort next year to get these darn vacations done. I have the UK trip from 2006, DC from 2007, Orlando from June 2008 and now San Fran. Of course, in the middle of all that I did the 3 Day album that isn’t quite done and has 67 pages already (I think I have another 10 to add to it).

There may be some other big news brewing, but I’m going to hold of discussing it in the blog since I’m all sorts of shades of powerful and mentioning it may jinx it – if I already haven’t already.

Finally, I leave you with a photo I promised a while ago. Remember the story of the private school and the horrible uniforms. Welcome to ONE of my 1st Grade photos. Just 35 more days in my thirties!

What Fresh Hell Is This!

Welcome to Wednesday. And because it's Wednesday, you get some good old fashion fun.

First a photo. I mentioned in my last few blogs that I've been scanning old (and I mean OLD) photos of myself. Well here's just a little taste of the Life of Jenn.

The Two Dresses

I can remember with what I consider vivid clarity the moment I got this dress. I loved this dress. It was quite girly. It shooshed and whooshed when you moved. It was, by far, the prettiest thing I had at that time. There was a family we used to visit regularly who lived in Belt, Montana. The Oslee's (? on the spelling of that last name...I was young). They had like a thousand kids, and all of their names started with T's. Tricia was their youngest (I think) and she gave me this dress.

The goofy chick standing next to me is my sister. Who swears she never EVER wore pink, but now I have proof. (insert evil laugh). The dog's tail you see is that of our beloved Beagle, Happy - who was always in or around us kids.

But back to the dress. I don't remember wearing the dress out of my bedroom much (you know playing dress up and all). I grew out of it pretty quickly, too. But it was definitely a princess dress for me. Our family didn't have much and we'd never EVER be able to afford such a nice dress. In fact, most my dresses were hand me downs from Goofy Pink Girl. (My sister will kill me for posting this photo, but it will all be worth it.). I can remember when it was time to pass the dress on too, and I so didn't want to let it go. I had a feeling I'd never be in anything like it again.

And then I had this dress...

You can't tell its a dress, but it is. It itched. Man did it itch. I hated it with every fiber of my being. My memory is that my mom made it - but I can't be sure. I have no idea why I have that in my head that she did, but I do recall mom making some clothes for us some times. Anyhow, the dress didn't have any defining points to it. Other than apparently I had lost a tooth - I'm willing to bet I lost that tooth when pulling the bulky green drape fabric that was way too heavy over my head. And the white lacy collar itched - it added "color" and "dimension" to the dress. I am pretty sure this was a hand me down from the Goofy Chick behind me.

These two pictures can't be too far apart either. Both in Montana. The green monster one I think was when we actually lived in Great Falls on 15th. The cute girly dress I'm not at all sure where we were living at that point, but I know it was Great Falls - somewhere. Side bar: We lived in a few different houses in Great Falls. To put it in perspective, I went to 4 different schools in my third grade year. We lived on base, we lived off base, we lived as a whole family unit, we lived with just mom and me (my personal favorite), and we lived on base again. I think.

I have several memories of GF. Some good, most not so good, some funnier now that I'm older, some I kind wish I could go back in time and erase altogether.

I'm drawing a blank on the good right now. I'm almost 100% positive there was some good. Maybe I'll just come back to them.

The bad are so much easier to remember. Why is that?

My favorite is getting grounded for bringing the MomUnit flowers. I had extremely mean parents who were ungrateful for the things I did for them. I was so proud of myself for bringing her a handful of freshly picked flowers, they were beautiful in my eyes. Plopping them down on the counter mom asks, "Where'd you get these?" I probably responded with something stupid like, "I found them." As the conversation progressed and she pressed me for more details where I got them, I had to tell her I picked them out of this ladies garden. See, smart child that I was, I left the roots on them...so mom was hip to my lie. My mean mother whom I just gave fresh flowers to, took me - probably by my ear - back down to said ladies house. Made me apologize and I had to do yard work for a couple of days for this lady. The nerve of my mom teaching me a lesson. Though admittedly I never picked someone else's flowers again. I don't even like flowers! I do think this is why I hate yard work though. Scared for life.

Ahem, moving on.

MJ broke her ankle and used to whack me with her crutches. I think I still have bruises. The funnier part of the story is how I told mom and dad. See we lived on this gigantic hill - which I'm sure if I were to go back to now wouldn't be more than a slight decline. Well, MJ liked to ride the skateboard down the hill - she was the rebel, the one who threw caution to the wind and openly defied my parents - we were expressly not allowed to ride the skateboard down this hill. (It should be mentioned that this was all in the 70's at some point - helmets weren't really a thing yet. Which wouldn't have mattered since I'm sure mom would say our heads were the hardest part of our body and we couldn't possibly hurt ourselves there. Anyhow, we were at the bottom of the hill - mom yells for dinner. (mom had a very distinctive voice to me as a child. I could hear her yelling for miles) I trudge uphill, plop myself down for dinner, started eating. Mom asks, "Where's your sister?" I casually respond between bites of chicken that she broke her ankle and is at the bottom of the hill. Speaking of bottoms, I think mine was sore for months after that.

And GF was the place where my sister wrote on the refrigerator. To THIS day we still argue over who wrote on the refrigerator. When I start getting all sassy about MJ and I mom will ask, "Who wrote on the refrigerator?" And if MJ and I are together, we'll point at each other. But, I know in my heart of hearts, and will stick to this until the day I die that it was her. She knows it too. But she swears it was me - which meant the "I-Don't-Knows" did it which meant we both got a whoopin. Scouts honor - it was her.

I scrubbed my brain for good Montana stories, but unfortunately I can't find very many. I don't remember being unhappy there, but I do remember that the family was stressed. I remember the family starting to come apart at the seams. In the end, Mom, MJ and I moved to California and started a new life. Then the good times really started. I think.

Now, wanna see a picture of the mature, and classy, woman I've grown up to be. I'm miles away from that Green Monster dress, and thousand of lessons from the flower plucking.

Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?

There are two very obvious redeeming qualities about me that, if you know me at all and if you are observant when you read this blog, you would be able to say without a doubt that yes, those are redeeming qualities.

I say they're qualities because some, who will remain nameless, have mentioned nonchalantly that they could also be negative attributes to one's personality.

I say, "Bah." And "Whatever."

I'm turning 40. Without a doubt in 41 days I'll be 40 years old. Ugh. I'm not happy about this age, but it has given me an opportunity to look through my life and draw some conclusions on the good, the bad, and the "oh-my-god-I-wore-my-hair-like-that." See, I'm having a birthday party and you're all invited. (It's safe for me to say that since neither of the two party planners read my blog on a regular basis.) Because of said party I have been scanning old photos (watch this space as some may appear here in the near future) for a photo montage of Moi! This exercise has brought up some interesting memories and has stopped me cold a couple of times as I realized a pattern emerging. Which brings me to my redeeming qualities.

Redeeming Quality #1 - I like to be in control.

Ms. Jackson and I have some of the same personality traits. We both like to be in Control. Some would say I'm a control freak. And "some" may be right - to an extent. I've known some "control freaks" in my time and I can say that I am not like some of them. I do, though, require a certain amount of control over situations - especially when I'm involved in them. Don't confuse control with planning though. No way. Two very different things. Planning is just a method to make sure that things turn out appropriately - okay so it's a formof control.

When I looked up control freak in wikipedia. I was sad. That couldn't be me, I had hoped. I don't see being in control of my every action a bad thing and I'll argue that to my death. After all, I do come by it naturally I was raised in control.

There are only a few times in my life in which I feel like I need to maintain absolute control over - My birthday and it's ensueing party is one of them.

I can pinpoint exactly in my life where wanting needing to be in control of my birthday. That aside, I'm very serious about making sure my birthday celebration is fun and one I can remember. Wanting to control that "funness" is not a bad thing. That said, I've relinquished all planning rights for my party this year. I'm sure it'll be splendid, fun even. Sure of it.

So my point...um, yes, what was my point?

Oh right - my redeeming qualities. Being in control is one.

Redeeming Quality #2 - A bit obsessive at times.

It's appeared to me through reliving a few past experiences that I can be a bit obsessive over some things (i.e. pink, the 3 Day, DMQ, recipes, etc) some of the time.

It's redeeming quality #2 that brings me to the point of this blog. Twlight.

I was addicted. The books are actually written for the teeny bopper age, but so was Harry Potter and look what happened there (not too surprising but I was addicted to HP too). The story is a romance between a teenage girl and a vampire. It's situation in Forks, Wa - which apparently is one of the rainiest places on earth - thus why vampires can live there so easily - the whole sun thing.

Anyhow, my hair stylist turned me on to these books. In fact, the entire salon was reading them at the time. Surely, these sophisticated women had good taste in literature. I had my goal in sight. Find the books and read them. I couldn't put Twilight down. I spent the entire weekend reading it. Then on to book two, three and four. More than 2000 pages of reading and I'm finally done. I finally finished book 4 last night. I took my time finishing the book because I knew once it was done, I would no longer have anything to obsess over. Well, for today anyhow.

Oh wait, the movie. Yes, the movie is coming out this Friday. I am going to manage to NOT go on opening night and instead will go the Friday after Turkey day with Chicken Lady. Yay.

And the best part, Cedricc Diggory from HP plays Edward. Nummy!

I highly recommend these books if:

1) You are interested in just a good read with little to no heavy thought involved

2) You like love stories that aren't the norm.

3) You breath oxygen.

4) You have two X chromosomes

You know, there's a moment when you're famous when it's unbearable to go out because you're too famous.

I'm famous...almost.

Another photo got picked up to be used on someone's websites. I could start charging, but it's so much more fun to give them away for free.

So check me out.

Now, it should be pointed out that I did none of the writing. Just the photo is mine.

I also find it amusing that a photo that I will think about, ponder, set up, take several shots of to get the perfect shot - doesn't get picked up. And yet the photo I just happened to snap for fun gets picked up.

Officially now I've had 2 photos published. I'm almost famous. Almost.

Shhh, or your miss the epiphany!

Do you hear that?

That resounding thud when someone gets it. That sudden flash of light that shocks even the heardiest of souls. That moment when you read something and suddenly everything you've been puzzling over for what seems like a lifetime falls into place and you know that you can move on. That you're at the crossroads and the next step will be your greatest yet.

Thanks to Patron Saint - I realized something. I'm a IGUG (her term not mine). That's right. I'm a I-Gave-Up-Girl. I really don't know when it is I officially gave up, but I know in my heart that I did. I suspect - very sincerely - it has to do with her "further punishment" theory. I had been down that path so many times that I knew it by heart and knew how it would end. So why bother? Why not live out my existence in this world in what I thought was peace?

If you've ever been on vacation with me you know I'm the type that can barely sit still. I want to see and do everything. I don't want to miss a thing. That's how I feel a lot about life too. And yet, one of the most important aspects of living life to its fullest I put on a shelf never daring to take it down again. I was missing out.

So what now?

I know I'm missing out. I know that the next whatever will most likely end badly and hurt - will it be worth it? Will the potential of more happiness out weight the pain that may take it's place? Could I just live and experience without a plan? Could I just jump in head first and let the cards fall where they may? Could I let go that much?

Looking at my life through the rear view mirror I flinch at the moments when I can almost hear my heart breaking - still. Those memories are painfully clear to me. Though if I'm honest with myself they aren't just my relationships that have ended badly. No they are the relationships of others who have lived on and are a vision of what I want/need. My experiences colored and put into motion the way I would approach any relationship I'd be given. They were defining who I would be and how I would be in a relationship. Right or wrong - good or bad - they would be a part of who I am - today! If I put them away, the next relationship wouldn't see them and wouldn't see how horribly bad I am at this thing called love. Or would he see them and appreciate them for what their purpose was - to make me who I am? I'm holding out for the latter.

So officially starting Jan 1 - I'm back on the horse. Why not until Jan 1? Who has time during the holidays to get involved? I will dedicate 6 month to the pursuit of "la otra media de naranja" - the other half of my orange. And you lucky readers get to take the trip with me. Oh goody!

I've Been Spending Way too Much Time Checking my Tongue In the Mirror...

I'm bored. So my way of dealing with it is watching the video of my new favorite song. It puts a smile on face and makes me sing in my head. (Like I need that).

Enjoy! I know I will be.

Why not Minot?

Back when I was in 1st grade we lived in Minot, ND. "Where?" you say. Go ahead, go Google it. I'll wait.

Right, a dreadful place to be sure. My memories of Minot are simple, it was cold there. Very cold. I hardly remember the spring and summer months at all in Minot. I do remember that the state bird of Minot was the mosquito. Those things were enormous. During the summer months, they’d “spray” for mosquitoes on base (which is military brat term for base housing). I remember, vividly, me and my friends (none of who’s names I remember) running behind the trucks that were spraying pretending it was a "smoke screen" or something. And back then, in the 70’s, you can bet your bottom dollar that the stuff they were spraying wasn’t healthy for kids to be ingesting.

The winter months in Minot are the most vivid. Mostly because it was so freaking cold there. I remember every car having an electrical cord sticking out from the grill and people plugging their cars in at night. Not because they were being green and recharging their battery. No because it was so cold that it was the only way the blasted car would start in the morning.

We used to have snow drifts too. We’d frequently open the front door to leave for school and be greeted by a snow drift higher than the eves of the house. Good times. My sister and I took full advantage of snow drifts and tunneled through them and had snow forts. I can remember one collapsing one time and MJ and I laughing at it – not realizing that we very well could have died.

I lost my first tooth in Minot too. A bowl of Fruit Loops was the thief.

Our neighbors had beagles. Can't remember their names though - the beagles that is. Well and the neighbors now that I think about it.

Oh the memories.

I learned some new things in Minot too. I learned about "snirt". Snow and dirt mixed = Snirt. It was everywhere after a good snow and the plows would clear the roads.

I went - very momentarily - to a private Catholic school. Goofy and ugly uniforms. Ick. Nuns are scary people. I suspect we got kicked out because of my sister - but that's just me.

The MomUnit was hired into the Boeing Company. Her boss came to dinner one night. Little did any of us know that her "boss" (or maybe the guy who hired her) would later turn out to be my stepdad.

But probably the most appropriate, most relative memory of Minot that I hold dear.

I learned what the word bored meant. I can remember it like it was yesterday. MJ had friends over and they weren't letting me play. I had nothing to do. I whined complained to mom who then bestowed the knowledge of a new word on me.

I never imagined when I learned that word that I would experience the amount of boredom I’m experiencing today! I mean, I’m writing about Minot – that should say everything.

Ring My Bell-elll-eelll Ring my Bell!

I know every person reading this blog was told by their mom or the grandmother the same thing. "Be sure to always wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident." There are so many other reasons to wear clean underwear – I’ll assume the majority of readers know that. And there’s the other point that if you were in an accident you would most likely need clean underwear – but I digress.

I read an article in Cosmo that pointed out the many things that us girls do wrong in trying to capture the eye of a man. It said that in our everyday life we encounter many men who could be a potential capture mate. One of the points in the article that stuck with me was that even when you are just running to the store – make yourself presentable as you never know who will be sniffing the cantaloupe in the vegetable aisle. For a while I agreed and made sure I was “presentable” when I went out. (“Presentable” is all relative really).

I do my grocery shopping on Sunday mornings – usually before 8am. I don’t do the “presentable” much anymore. I’m lucky if I remember pants since I usually don’t have coffee yet (it’s on the grocery list to stop at Starbucks in the store first). I admit there are times that I think about it – but I also only see the scourge of the Hood when I’m at QFC that early. And by what they’re wearing I look like I’m dressed for a ball.

I tell you those two facts to bring you to last night’s events. I had just finished my salmon and rice (MMMM - and I can't believe I've never posted my all time favorite salmon recipe - "watch this space") when I heard a ringing. It wasn't loud or anything, just a ringing. I thought it was on TV so I ignored it for a moment - then realized it was our fire alarm. Our alarm goes off a lot more than it should. In fact, I’m convinced that we’ve all been conditioned and so if it were an actual fire we’d all assume false alarm and die. That being said, I decided to go outside to investigate.

Oh you should know that my typical home-from-work-not-going-anywhere-attire is flannel pants and a big ASU sweatshirt (neither match) – oh and a for good measure I have a head buff I use to pull all the hair out of my face. Yah – a winning combination.

So, I wonder outside to make sure the bldg really isn’t on fire and there’s this guy standing by my car. Tall, blondish, in a suit and a very nice camel hair jacket. Cute? Definitely. He extends his hand and introduces himself (I don’t remember his name) and says he just moved in on the weekend and points to his apt. He wasn’t sure if this was a drill or the real deal. We laughed about how glad we were that it wasn’t 2am, and chatted with my upstairs neighbors who saw us out there and decided to come out too. It was like a block party without the alcohol.

Then I heard the sirens. Firemen! Oh goody.

Oh hell.

Here I stood – already chatting with Mr. Hotty from L5 – and I realize what I was wearing. Why did I have that head buff on? Mom and Grandma may have been right about clean underwear, but I’m telling you the Cosmo article was spot on. So here I am surrounded by men - Mr. L5, 6 firemen who all appear hot in their uniforms (what?), and me in my blue oversized flannel pants and ASU sweatshirt...nice one!

Oh and it was a false alarm.

Heigh Ho Heigh Ho, it's off to work we go

What more fun than to come up with 7 things I did this weekend that has to do with the 7 Dwarfs (or little people if you think Dwarfs is un PC. )

Not listed in any particular order

#7 Sleepy- Got up at the butt crack of dawn on Saturday – for no particular reason other than my body decided it was “time”. As I lay awake in bed, my mind drifted back to a Saturday morning in our house in Redmond. It was almost as if it had happened yesterday instead of 12 years – ah I mean 22 years ago (good lord). It was a Saturday and I was sleeping. My mom burst into the room and announced, “Rise and shine. You can sleep when you’re dead.” Almost immediately I thought, “Or when I live by myself.” When I grumbled what time it was she announced it was 9AM. Why so early I thought. I got out of bed knowing full well that it would be a day of cleaning – outside or inside depended entirely on the weather. I must have said something about it being so early, because I remember mom saying that when I got older I’d be lucky if I could sleep by 7am. “Yah right,” I thought. She was right. Again.

#6 Happy - Managed to finally input all my recipes into my recipe database. Yes, I’m that geeky to have a “database” of recipes. But when one has over 1000 recipes, and one wishes to make each and every one of those, one must have a way of tracking said recipes. Even written out it still sounds like I’m a geek. Thankfully though, but finishing up the “T’s” I had stumbled off one of my favorite, and forgotten, recipes. Decided that recipe should be this week’s line up.

#5 Dopey - Sometime on Saturday I was bored and decided to make cookies. Chocolate cookies with peanut butter chips. MMMM….While the cookies were baking, I decided to clean out the cabinet above the stove. This cabinet usually housed things like Olive oil, and vinegars. I pulled everything out, mentally making a tally of items I had.

3 bottles Apple cider vinegar.
3 bottles Dry Sherry
1 bottle Sake
3 bottles Marsala wine
Dad’s ever famous dry rub
Two Costco size containers of McCormick Montreal Grill Seasoning (I love this stuff)
Box of Kosher Salt
2 bottles White wine vinegar
And a tub of Carnation instant breakfast powder

Now the interesting, or not, thing about this list is the large numbers of bottles I have of the same item. Crazy. But see if I run out of something, say Apple cider vinegar – every single time I’m at the grocery store I remember I need vinegar. And I buy it – forgetting I already did that twice before. I couldn't even remember when I had bought the instant breakfast so that went instantly into the garbage. As for the other multiple items, I debate on keeping them or putting them in the bag for the food drive. Tough decision. I mean, how many people need Marsala wine.

#4 Grumpy. Made a mental note to ONLY follow my grocery list and do not deviate.

#3 - Bashful. Had breakfast with the StaleMates and Blueberry. Burp. Buttermilk pancakes that totally hit the spot. Breakfast was good, but not spectacular. Managed to not spill coffee or maple syrup on myself. And for the record, this has nothing to do with Bashful - he's the toughest of all the dwarfs.

#2 Sneezy - The woman who is responsible for Dudley being in my life (I was also her maid of honor at her wedding) was in town – so we had coffee and cookies at my place. Upon passing over my threshold and kicking off her shoes she announces a bun in the oven. Yay! Maybe this one will be a girl. We spent much needed girl time talking about everything from politics to baby cloths. I mentioned that I was allergic to all discussion related to actual child labor. No single woman should EVER have to listen to that. Though I'm certain if they discussed it in such vivid detail in high school there may be more girls allergic to sex.

#1 - Doc - Made Hunter’s Stew for dinner and two days of left over lunches. Hunter’s stew requires dumplings to be put on top. As the stew became ready I realized I was almost out of bisquick. I debated just eating the stew without dumplings – but knew instantly that it wasn’t the same. Keys in hand I went and got biscuit. Upon returning home, I turned to get some water and went back to the bisquick. Shocked to see the box and the plastic bag opened. I didn’t remember opening it. I went ahead and used it. I KNEW that the box was closed so I had to have opened it. Still I thought about what if I hadn’t and what if there was poison inside. And what if I died…no one would ever suspect bisquick. So I found a pen and a piece of paper and wrote my family and the FBI a note that read, “If I’m found dead, check the bisquick.”

Rest Sweet Rebecca

Rebecca passed last night. Her time in this world was short, we all knew that, and yet hearing she’s gone fills my heart with sadness. Her passing was the right thing. Her body was taken over by the darkness. She’s at peace now and will no longer suffer. It sure is easy to type, but hard to believe.

I only barely knew Rebecca. Met her twice I think. Each time she was battling, fighting, for her life. She was okay for a little bit and then the darkness came back. This time, it would never leave. What I knew of Rebecca was that she was very loved. Very loved. She loved animals, she loved people, and she loved life. The love she sent out into the world circled back tenfold to her. She was a source of good and I’m glad to say I had a chance to have known such an angel.

I’ll see Blueberry tonight to see how she’s fairing. I suspect not well. See, Rebecca is the first one from her cancer group who has lost the battle with breast cancer. AND to make things more difficult, Rebecca is our age. That’s the kicker for me too. Rebecca is my age. It just blows yet another hole in my little world. People do die. And people do die from Breast Cancer. Now I feel more renewed than ever to fight the battle for those lost and for those who we can save. Can I get a WHOA?

So if you have a moment, give a thought to her sad loved ones left behind who now feel for her loss. Because her loss will be felt. By many. For along time.

Rest Sweet Rebecca. You will be missed.

I Sure Hope My Doppleganger is having fun

Too all my friends who posted almost immediately on Facebook regarding my recent change in relationship status. You're sweet to assume that my status has changed from "single" to "no longer single". Rest yourselves though, I'm still single.

And to all those friends who were recently concerned that my Facebook gender status changed from Female to Male. Relax. I'm still a female. I think. I'd surely make an ugly male posing as a female. So, thank you for your concern.

I did find it amusing that I hear from friends so quickly on Facebook when a status like my relationship changed. I felt loved, even if through an Internet connection, that you all would be that excited for me to have found someone. Perhaps my doppelganger has and hasn't shared the excitement with me.

OH GOD! What if my doppelganger is a guy? And he has access to my facebook account? Oh the drama!

In other, not so alarming news, a dear friend of Blueberry's has taken a serious turn for the worse. She was who Blueberry was walking the 3 Day for and unfortunately the cancer is back and it brought reinforcements. If you have a spare prayer today, won't you wish Rebecca a safe journey. She won't be with us much longer. *sniff sniff

Post Voting Thoughts

Well, it's over. Whether you voted for Obama or not, America is on a new path.

I sat mesmerized last night to the TV watching as hundreds of thousands went to vote for their candidate. Each hoping that their vote would help change the world, the country. I hadn't realized in previous elections just how much hope elections really do bring. Of course it may have something to do with the dismal place we are right now. I don't really blame any politician - necessarily. Many would argue that we could blame the current President - and we may be able to. But there are thousands of American citizens who are just as responsible for our economic situation (home loans) and now together with a new President - perhaps we can right some wrongs. Naive? Maybe. But at least I have hope where once there wasn't any.

I didn't get to watch the Obama speech last night - cable went out - grrrr. I did get to watch McCains. My thought - "Gracious". While I am not, nor was, a McCain supporter, I was impressed by his gratitude and his humility as he spoke of wanting to work with the new President to make changes. I hope he means it. Obama will need a Republican on his side to help bridge the gap.

So whether your candidate won or not, be proud that you were part of something historic.

Update: In case politics leave you dry, see my two new recipes online. Click here.

Vote!

What are you doing reading this blog? Shouldn't you be out voting? The polls are open somewhere. Not here in Seattle, but they will be in 50 minutes. Thankfully my absentee ballet was sent in a week or so ago.

They say - whoever "they" are - that this is a historic vote. That there is likely to be more people voting in this election than any previous. I have to wonder if it's because of the state of the country? Or is it because the education and marketing to get people to vote was so high this year? Either way - your voice counts! go vote!

And if you have - I hope it goes your way - except for you mom. I really don't hope it goes your way. That's a joke. See. I'm a jokester! But at least I know you've voted!

Trust is like a vase.. once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be same again.

Saturday the orange glowing gas light came on in the Stang. Time to go filler up again. Ugh. I drove into the gas station, started pumping gas, and jumped back into the car to keep warm. As the dollars clicked by, I watched this older white car coast into the lane next to me. My gas hose clicked off. I watched with a wary eye the older man get out of the – what now appears to be a car that had seen better days.

I put the hose back, and twisted my gas cap on. The older gentleman poked his head around the corner and asked if I had a dollar to spare. He needed to get to Marysville (just 15 miles up the road) and his son has his credit card. He only had $.60 with him. He asked again. I apologized and said I didn’t have any cash – a white lie. I had cash but wasn’t about to pull my wallet out for him to grab it and run.

I apologized again and got back into my car and drove away. I didn’t get far. I drove around and came up behind him and said I’d put $10 in his tank for him. He thanked me and said he appreciated my good will toward him.

The best part about this story, the last part is a lie.

I did drive away. And I did park for a bit to think about it. Why was it so hard to trust that this guy could, in fact, be in a pickle? Why did we automatically assume the worst in people? Have we (read: I) become that jaded to not trust another human?

Definition of Trust: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something

Huh! Interesting.

As I pondered all those questions I started thinking about trust in general and how hard it is for me to trust people. Why is that? Nothing’s ever really happened in my personal life to account for the lack of trust I have with people. I’ve been emotionally hurt in the past and at times am not willing to risk getting hurt in the future, but that’s another blog.

There has been plenty in my professional life that has caused a lack of trust where work is involved. I thought I had worked through most of that. But as I started thinking about it, in fact I haven’t. I still have a lack of trust. I assume some people have ulterior motives. A friend once said to me, “The world isn’t out to get you.” I didn’t believe her then and I don’t believe her now.

I don’t know exactly what to do with this trust issue. I’d like to it in the “deal with it later” drawer, but somehow I think putting off dealing with it will make it that much more complicated to deal with. I do know I don’t want to be the person who automatically assumes that the world is out to get me. That seems very egotistical to me. I mean, after all, I’m sure the world has more important things to do that “get me.” I know it isn’t just me too. I know that the few bad apples out there have caused us to all, at times, lack trust of people – especially if our personal safety or that of our family – is called into question. Statistically though, I’d like to think there are more good people than bad in this world.

I started to think about what was in Marysville for this guy. Why did he have to get there? If that was where he was going. See! No trust! But then I started thinking, what if he was late to his granddaughters 5th birthday? Or his daughter’s rehearsal dinner? Or his wife’s 50th birthday party? What if me not helping him, made him miss something important in his life? That’s not to say I feel guilty for my decision. That’s not it at all. To think that I had a chance to potentially help someone and I didn’t trust that what he was asking was legit.

You can trust that I’ll be doing some more “look” into this.

Top Ten Worst - it was scarier than even yesterday's post

Maybe I should apologize for the last post yesterday. And yet I feel like I was preparing you for the scariest thing of all. The Top Ten Worst Songs by Dudley Manlove. Now, before I get to that fear, let me share a few other frightening stories that took place.

To the drunken female pirate - thank you for just swaying to the music and not vomiting on my back. And it was our pleasure to act as a fence to stop you from hopping up on stage - again - and embarrassing yourself even more. And finally, could you refrain from using me as your crutch for holding your drunken self up. I sincerely hope your hang over today lasts for a good long time.

To Flower the skunk - What? Why were you staring at me? I mean I know I'm hot an all (and by hot I mean it was like 140 freaking degrees in that place last night) but really? Must you stare. You made me feel like you were a skunk looking to spray your stinky on some poor unsuspecting soul and that soul was me. Congrats on being female and winning the best male costume of the night. You're parents will be proud.

And finally to the old guy and his friend, really? Did you think that us hot chicks in the front row would give you the time of day? I mean come on, pretending to ask us where the bathrooms were as a pick up line. I probably should confess, I saw you departing said bathroom just moments before so unless you lost your memory, I was pretty sure you knew where it was.



Top Ten Worst Songs

Now go get a drink, some kleenex and sit down and feel the fear. This year several repeats reared their ugly heads. And while some may call them "worst" songs, I admit some are on the Pod of Crap (POC). And should you want to revist previous top ten worst, you can click here, here and here.


Oh but before I get there, let me tell you about the guest band. They performed two songs before I even knew who they were. Which I find amusing. I thought at first they were Crowded House, but I knew in my heart that those songs belonged to another band. And then they played this song: Talking Heads. I think maybe the Talking Heads were a little under rated in the 80's.



Ahem.


Now here's the Top 10 - but wait - let me first tell you about DMQ now. See, I was what some would say slight addicted to DMQ. Then they changed. I wasn't at all impressed with the last show I saw and naturally only assumed that all good things must come to an end.

Then last night happened. I'm not ashamed to admit I'm in love. In love with the new band. They sound better - way better - and the lead singer really is fitting in quite well. He's - gasp - on key almost every song. They don't appear to drink as much and so they appear to really have their - pardon the pun - act together. They are still ironing out the wrinkles, and may not have as many shows as they once did - but it's just a matter of time. DMQ will be back at the top. I know they are with me.

10. You're Beautiful - James Blunt
See, I actually like this song. What I absolutely don't get about this video is why he's stripping in the snow. Anyone? So if this song was to be any representation of how good or bad the rest were to be - I knew I was in for a treat.

And then we hit number 9...

9. Barbie Girl - Aqua
Yah, do I really need to say anything about this? Other than - for such a horrible song, it sure gets a lot of play time in the Dudley top 10. And yes, that's Stefan, the new lead singer, playing with his barbies. And if you're wondering, and I know you are, if Aqua did anything else. Yes. Yes they did. And if that one doesn't convince you to run and download...this one will, I'm sure. At least I'm sure it'll convince you to run.

8. Fame - Irene Cara
Oh she learned how to live forever alright - as a top 10 worst song. I actually got this song confused with Flashdance at first - I know a frightening thought in and of itself. What is frightening is the video. It looks like the rejects of the Solid Gold Dancers. And if you're too young to not know of the Solid Gold Dancers (PMDude) I hate you. I'm not completely sure what's more scary in the Solid Gold video - the clothing (obviously 80's - and I think early 80's) or the songs. Did you feel that? The shiver that just went down your spine. Oh and the #3 song on the Solid Gold count down is in our top 10. I'm just sayin'.


7. Seasons In The Sun - Terry Jacks
A story was told to us about a friend's brother who used to play this song non stop. Said friends mom lost it one day - a gentle soul usually - and smashed the 45. Blueberry loves this song and knows the words by heart. She seemed momentarily offended it's on the top ten, but then jumped right in to sing along. When the lead singer messed up the words, she crinkled her nose gave a disgusted look, but kept singing along.


6. We Built This City - Starship
Also a frequent visitor to the top 10. I wanted to attach a video of the new lead singer singing part of this song. It's not a good video. I was too close to the stage - well, if you call being within touching distance to the band "too close".

5. My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion
Ick. This song drives me to drink. It has also been in previous top tens, and I wasn't too surprised to see it here again.

4. Big Balls - AC/DC
Okay I laughed my butt off at this song. First because I had forgotten that it existed and second because it's a dumb song - but in a funny way. The crowd went absolutely nuts when this song was played. The new lead singer did it so well, and with the same accent. Classic.

3. Hold The Line - Toto
I'll probably get flack for this, but anything from Toto should be on the Top 10 Worst.

2. Can't Get Enough of Your love - Barry White
Seriously, one of my favorite songs of all time. It dates back to the Ally McBeal days. Barry White was a large part of that show. And really Barry White is an - er was an institution.

1. Physical - Olivia Newton-John
Come on...you know you love it. Physical had been in the top 10 before too. Didn't like it then and not a huge fan now. You should, however, watch the video to get the full effect of the fear.

And so another year, another ten really bad songs, pass. If I have to, I'll admit that only 4 of them are on the POC. I'll let you figure out which four.