Tick Tock – You are Getting Sleepy

I’ve started and stopped this blog a number of times. One the one hand I want to share with you all what’s going on in my life and some rather dramatic decisions I’ve made. While on the other hand, I’ve got concerns how it’ll be taken.

I’ve “tested” telling people this new thing I’m doing and so far it’s been received with much enthusiasm. Only one friend rolling their eyes, and I didn’t bother asking why.

If you know me at all, you know I’ve battled for my lifetime with being overweight. You’ve been with me when I was on Jenny Craig and lost 30 lbs. You cheered me on when I joined Weight Watchers and lost like 2 lbs.  Yet nothing sticks. I never seem to really change my eating habits nor my working out habits. I never full learn that healthy lifestyle plan.

I’ve done a lot of soul searching to try to determine why it is that I just can’t make a clean break from all things bad from me. I know I’m not alone here, but good heavens it shouldn’t be this hard.

I hit a rock bottom (I say “a” rock bottom because I suspect there will be more of them in my future) one night a couple of weeks ago. I sat on the couch feeling less than happy and all I wanted to do was walk away from my life. It seemed like nothing made me feel happy anymore. And this feeling washed over me that I can’t really explain. I’ve never considered myself a depressed person nor someone who could become depressed. And yet I suddenly realized that my life wasn’t exactly on the “happy” track and I needed to do something. And that’s when it happened…a commercial came on TV.

I’ve seen the commercial a thousand times but it never really spoke to me like it did that dark night. The next morning I made a phone call.

See here’s the thing, while the doctor’s haven’t said it yet, I’m petrified of becoming diabetic.  I watched the DadUnit take daily injections all the while thinking he made poor choices and got himself here.  Hello Pot? This is the kettle. You’re black!

I want to be healthy.

I want to be “skinnier”.

I want to be happier.

I want to make the right choices for me in all areas of my life.

I want to lose weight.

And so the phone on the other end rang. A voice answered and I almost began to sob then. I made an appointment and hung up. As I turned off the phone I thought, “You’ve just made a major change in your life.”

Three days later I parked outside Positive Changes Hypnosis Center.

Yes, hypnosis.

I’ve been hypnotized before about 10+ years ago. Turns out I’m extremely susceptible to it. Back then I did a 30 minute session each week with the focus on not eating French fries (didn’t for 4 weeks straight), working out every day (worked out for 20 days straight) and wanted to drink more water (floated to and from work). Then I couldn’t afford it and had to stop.

My first meeting at PC was with Amanda. She’s what I call the “Opener”. Her job is to get you in the door, ask some incredibly difficult questions and then take your credit card. I don’t think Amanda was prepared for the sobbing mess she’d have in her office that day.

She was so gentle and understanding and I wanted to talk with her for hours. The questions she asked me are all questions that fat people know the answers to but don’t dare answer them out loud. Answering them makes it real. And I know I’m the mistress of denial when it comes to this. In my mind, I’m a size 10.

Amanda pressed on and asked me a bunch of questions that got me smiling and crying. Using humor as my defense, she saw right through that and kept asking more. Finally  she explained the program and I signed up.

I left there with hope. I just knew I had taken a brave step and it felt like the right step. I had an appointment for my first session and I was ready to conquer the world.

The day of the first session came. I specifically made an early appointment because I didn’t want to talk myself out of it over the course of the day. I met with Christopher and he would be my hypnotist for the day.

The first 30 minutes were of him asking me many of the same questions Amanda did but with one small difference to my answers.

Amanda had asked me what my goal was with regards to coming to PC. I answered, “To be healthy and to lose weight.” Dah. Christopher asked me the same exact question and I answered, “To be skinny.”

Odd response since I never EVER use that word. 

He pressed with another question asking me to elaborate.

My response came from the depths of my soul and had, apparently, been hiding somewhere and chose now, of all times, to surface.  I answered, “Because skinny people are loved.”

Yah, take that in for a minute.

Somewhere, I believe that the only way to be “loved” is to be skinny? The who and what now?

Christopher responded after seeing my completely confused expression with, “Looks like you have some thinking to do.”

Ahem…

Moving on.

To set the scene he explained, first, that I’d be wearing these light flasher glasses. They flash 12 times per second, which apparently is what active brain waves work at. Then I’d have on these noise cancelling head phones and all I’d hear was his voice. Asking if I was ready, I nodded. Christopher spent the next 30 minutes putting me into a hypnotic state.

I remember hearing the voice, the beeping noise and the light methodic music.  And I remember thinking this was comfortable and nice.  I remember breathing deeply on his command and I then I remember him saying he’s going to count to 5 and it was time for me to come back.

I had gone completely under.

Christopher gave me my personal recording and sent me on my way with instructions to listen to it at least 2 times a day, but to please don’t listen to it while you’re driving. Ahh, Ok. Got that.

The rest of the program works something like this. Imagine a month being 4 weeks. You are asked to commit to coming in weekly. The first week is a personal hypnosis session. Like what I did with Christopher. The second week is acceleration classes – basically two 30 minute hypnosis sessions and a 30 minute class (video or instructor led). Week 3 you have a coaching session with someone to help discuss your progress and ask any questions and you get a 30 minute hypnosis session on a topic of your choice (these are all professionally recorded sessions). Week 4 is like week 2.  Lather, rinse, repeat.

So here I am 4 weeks from that day and I’ve lost 9 lbs.

• I have not had fast food in 4 weeks (typically I’d have it 2-3 times a week).
• I have not had chips in 4 weeks.
• I have cut the amount of sugar in my coffee in half.
• I have yet to actually get to the gym (we’ll be working on this one).
• I drink water like a crazy person.

Is it working? I would say so.

Do I think this is a magic pill? No. But I do fully believe that your subconscious mind plays a huge role with telling you stories. The conversation my subconscious was having with me was unhealthy and has kept me in a state of fatness.  Changing that voice is helping me.  Reprogramming all the negative to positive is really doing something to me, and I’m happy with the results.

I’ve paid for 9 months of this and can’t wait to see what happens.  I have no illusions that I will be a size 10 at the end of the 9 months. I do think I will be happier, a higher self-esteem will lose some weight.

I have my next personal hypnosis session coming up and I have a laundry list of things I’d like them to put into the sessions:

1.       More gym

2.       I want to stop thinking about food all the time

3.       I want to cut out more sugar

4.       I want to start working on the emotional reasons I eat

So we shall see. I’m excited to move forward with this chapter. The mind is an amazing thing. And tampering with mine will be an interesting adventure.