I'm sure I've written about Thanksgiving before and how much this holiday reminds me of my Mom. She and I had a tradition of cooking the dinner and we had all sorts of little traditions inside the bigger tradition. It's almost been 5 years since Mom died and I still find myself thinking about calling her to ask Thanksgiving day questions. I'm pretty sure that feeling will never go away.
The other big event that is now synonymous with Thanksgiving is my brother dying. He passed the Saturday after Thanksgiving in 2013. We spent the entire week in the hospital "saying goodbye". It was a rough week. And every year, I start thinking about it and I get a little weepy. This year it seems way worse than normal. I'll get through it though. I always do.
One of my good friends lost her mother recently. In the days after she and I were chatting quite a bit. I was immediately thrown back to those days and remembered how so difficult they were. How the smallest thing seemed to take forever, and made me cry. Its hard to be able to help her, because there' so much that I can't do. No one can. It just takes time. And even then it doesn't get easier. It just gets less horrible.
As I sit her and type this and try not to think about Ric or Mom or Dad not being with us, I like to believe they are still here. Recently I went to dinner with some family friends who knew my parents forever. She commented that she felt like she was sitting with my mom. That my mannerisms, my laugh, my smile, everything was so like her. I'll take that as a compliment. I know they all have played a part in my life and there are things I do because of them (or in spite of them).
So this Thanksgiving I'm going to do what I always do. Make dinner, enjoy time with friends and family, and have a little moment to think about those that aren't with us.
Happy Turkey Day y'all.
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