Fear

What an interesting word fear is? There are tangible things to be afraid of and intangible things?  There are phobias that are irrational and phobias that are rational.  But the fear that most interests me today is the fear of success.

Yes, you read that correctly...the fear of success. Not failure.

Last week during my coaching session at Positive Changes the coach was trying to get to the bottom of why I'm not going to the gym.What's blocking me? As we chatted I said something to the affect of fear of succeeding. The coach jumped right on that and asked me to put some thought into why I would say such a thing. So that's what I've done.

Why would I be afraid of succeeding? I nibbled on that question for almost a week when it hit me. Like a big old slap on the back of my head. 

If' I'm successful at getting healthy and down to a weight I feel good at, then what on earth would I hold on to as an excuse for why I haven't done some of the things in my life I want to do?

If I'm successful, what would I do with all the thought time I put into getting healthy?

If I'm successful, what would I talk about with some friends?

 If I'm successful....

And the list can go on. I've been overweight for so long of my life that I really wouldn't know any different.  It defines who I am on so many levels and maybe, just maybe, I've allowed it to be a mask to hide behind.

So here's what I've decided to do about it...until a later day when it becomes very obvious that I am going to be THAT successful, I'll take it one day at a time. I'm assuming this is a journey and that along the way I'll shed the fear and the mask. The thing is, I'm aware of it now. And isn't that half the battle?

The fear of bees I'll likely never get over, so we won't ever discuss that.