A year ago today...we said goodbye to you. Some days I'm ok with you leaving us. Most days I'm so angry with you! How dare you leave us?
I miss you more today than I ever thought I would. I miss your smile, the sparkle in your eye and your enormous bear hugs.
Janet and the girls are doing as well as could be expected. They're "getting by". It's hard for them. You were such a rock for them and not having you has them adjusting to not having you. They're leaning on each other. I know for myself I like living in the world of denial where your warm, charming self greats me on a regular basis. Alas, you won't hug me again.
You'd probably roll your eyes over how much fuss was made over you at the 3Day this year. William (your brother from another mother) walked all 7 and in each one wore the "Team Ric" shirt. He posted a photo from every city and every time I got chocked up and thanked my lucky stars that the world has someone like William in it.
The 3 day was hard this year. You touched so many lives there. You loss was felt and a huge hole was made in the heart of the 3Day family.
The MomUnit is doing OK too. She waited well into the evening on Mother's Day for your call. Then remembering you wouldn't be calling, and never would again, broke her heart. I think she hopes you and the DadUnit are laughing it up.
As for me, my heart still aches over losing you. There have been so many times I've wanted to call to share some exciting news, or just get brotherly advice, but I knew the call would go unanswered.
I try not to think of all the things you're missing. It makes the grieving harder. There were so many things that still need you to be a part of. And suddenly those things seem to dull.
I'll continue to be gentle with my heart where you're concerned. I was not prepared for the heart break to last this long. Is anyone ever prepared?
So I'll get past this "anniversary". Tomorrow I'll wake to a new day and will think about you throughout the day. I'll smile at the memories we made and frown over no new one's being made with you.
It goes without saying brother, you're missed. The lack of your presence in our lives is, not only unwanted, but leaves us with an enormous hole that cannot be filled.
I love and miss you,
Your little sister
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