Reinventing Traditions

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about traditions. And, like with everything, time has changed some of our traditions, and I'm not all on board with it just yet.

Today I received an email from a magazine I used to subscribe to called Experience Life. One of their main articles was about reinventing traditions.  It's a great, and timely, read.

This week is all about "a year ago today" for me. So you may see in my blogs a little less "happy" Jenn.

To start things off, a year ago today, I got that call that no one ever wants to get.  There was a complication with the surgery BigBro was having.

I can remember it today as it if just happened. Funny how the memory works isn't it. The more traumatic the experience, the more it seems to be burned in your brain.

Anyhow...

I was sitting on the couch finishing my cup of coffee, answering emails. My cell phone rang. I didn't recognize the number so ignored it. I do that you see.

Then it rang again. And something in my said, "answer it."

The voice on the other end was a kind, gentlemanly, doctor voice telling me that during the surgery to put tubes in BigBro's lungs, he went into cardiac arrest. They lost him for 3 minutes, but brought him back. And he finished with, you should come right away.

I hung up and for a moment just sat there. Wondering if I had heard it correctly. "Lost him" - how's that possible? It's BigBro and he's not going anywhere. He's fighting this and he's going to win.

And then it hit me like a sledgehammer to the gut...I HAD to get to the hospital ASAP.

I called Blueberry and filled her in. There was much discussion about coming to get me and taking me to the hospital. I declined and said I'd meet her there.

I often think about that 30 minute drive to the hospital. The ENTIRE way I kept telling myself,

"Keep it together."

"You have to get there in one piece."

"Don't think! Drive!"

This mantra I repeated all the way to North Seattle.

Screeching into a parking lot, I "jogged" up to where they were. Noting ever so briefly that there was a Starbucks in the lobby.

It really is funny how your mind works when you're in a situation you really don't want to be in. It's like it takes over.

I got upstairs, the MomUnit and Seattle SIL were in the room with the doctor. Two chairs sat outside. The MomUnit came out and I folded myself into a chair and cried. Sobbed really.

As I sat and cried, I suddenly stopped. Looked up at the MomUnit and announced, "I've gotta cancel Thanksgiving."

I was all business. Suddenly, and without much warning, I had something I had to do.

Talk about denial.

The MomUnit, bless her, was all, "We can take care of that...just breath."

The next several days seemed to drag by, though now it seems like they flew by so quickly. God I miss that guy.