First, there’s a chance that my job is changing. I’ll be seeing a new job description soon and am hoping that its something I want to do. I like what I do now. I still feel challenged on a regular basis. It’s been brought to my attention that perhaps I’ve become complacent in my current role and a change to something new might be good. So the explanation of what my new job description holds has me in a bit of a state. On the one hand, it could be an opportunity to grow. On the other, I don’t want to do work that I don’t enjoy. I get that every job, including mine now, has a part that may not be your favorite to do, or something you enjoy doing. I understand that. And I’m okay with a small percentage being that. But I’ve worked in jobs where I was miserable on a regular basis because I just didn’t like what I was doing. I’m hoping this new job description isn’t that. The “waiting” is killing me. Y’all know how patient I am (not) and so not knowing has made me a bit crazy and irrational. To say the least.
Then there’s the change in my normal routine. I hadn’t realized I liked my routing and my rut. I was very comfortable there. But since Pookie’s died, it seems like my routine has been tossed out the window and it’s “anything goes” night at the Wraspir household.
In this case I think the change is a good thing. It still unnerves me and has me on edge, and cranky (though that could also be a direct result of sleep deprivation – thank you very much Linus and Lucy).
Now we come to the big one that has me annoyed. And has me annoyed for a couple of reasons:
1. It’s a change
in plans of something I was looking forward to
2. I have
to realize it’s not about me all the time
3. Now I
have no vacation planned for this year
Last year we went to San Diego to walk and
stalk the 3 Day. Seattle SIL has decided
she wants to walk several other cities for the 3Day. I hopped right on board to
stalk her while she walked. I love the idea of going to other cities and seeing
how they “do the 3day”. After San Diego
we picked Philadelphia with this small team of gals.
Shortly after the new year, the “small group of
gals” announced they had signed up for Washington DC. Say what? But we had decided on Philly. Ugh.
After much back and forth, and further
conversations, and back and forth and forward, and sideways, it was decided,
that no, in fact, we’d be walking Philly. Full stop. Philly it was.
YAY – was what I said. I have been wanting to
go to Philadelphia for YEARS and this was my chance.
I hopped on the planning band wagon and went to
work. I ordered travel books, and started researching places to stay and
started sending emails, and getting excited about going. I have $$ put aside
and I’m ready.
Then the 3Day decided to axe several cities for
next year. One of which is Tampa. I have
no desire to go to Tampa, never have, never will. This “small group of gals” decided they
wanted to walk Tampa since it wouldn’t be there next year.
Thus axing my Philly plans and I’m annoyed.
So, like I said, I realize this is a chance to
come to grips with “this isn’t about me”, but it kinda is AND I feel like I’ve
been jerked around for several months now and my desires – and those of other
team members – might not have been considered. Maybe they don’t consider us as
part of their team at all. Maybe they just think we’re groupies or something.
Either way, I’m sad that now my vacation plans are all cut.
“We can do Philly next year,” they said. Which
sadly, I don’t think I can. I have a BIG cruise planned for next year that will
take 1) all my vacation and 2) a big chunk of my cash. So Philly will most
likely not be in my future anytime in the next year or so.
I could go to Philly by myself. Trust me the stubborn side of me says, “buy
your ticket and go.” The cautious side of me thinks that may not be the best
course of action.
I’m sad. I’m angry. I’m annoyed. And I’m tired.
The city of brotherly love is not happening this year.
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