Happy Birthday to me!

As I sit in my office this morning thinking about the closing of my 43rd year (I turn 43 today, but as my oldest brother once told me, you're starting your 44th year actually. Think about that for a moment.) I was, as I always am, washed with emotions about where I am and how I got here.

My life in many ways has been a blurr.

I remember waking up on my 16th birthday - thrilled to be going shopping with Mom - and wondering how my life would unfold.  16!  Seemed like the world was at my fingertips just waiting for me to arrive.  In my eyes, I was a grown up.

Even at that young age I thought about who I was and who I wanted to be. I knew, instinctively that my life was mine to own. My parents made sure I knew the reality of being able to be anything I wanted, but they enforced that I had to work for it.  My 16 year old dreams differ greatly to my dreams of today. I don't often morn those dreams, but embrace them.  Oh, the wide eyes of the young who see life through rose colored glasses.

On my 25th birthday, I sat reflecting as well. My life wasn't exactly how I planned it, and I wasn't complaining. Sure, I wanted to make more money. Yes, I definitely wanted to find love. Still, I was healthy and surviving as only a 25 YO could...as Martina McBride says in one of her songs, "Living on dreams and spaghetti O's." 

When I was 16 I dreamt I'd be married with 2.5 children, a dog, and a white picket fence. At 25 the kids were questionable, being married wasn't something I wanted until I was older, the dog was then (and still is) something I want in my life, the picket fence...I could do without.  My dreams focused on me. My career. My friends. My surroundings. My life. 

When I turned 30 I realized that your twenties were all about figuring out who you are, and your thirties were about enjoying that person.

As I entered my 40's I felt very comfortable in my skin.  What you see is what you get. 

And as I reach 43 today I'm so happy to be me.  I'm not a super model. I'm not in love or married or even close. I'm not rich. I'm not unhealthy (mostly). I have it pretty good. I've got friends and family who love me. I've surrounded myself with great people who allow me to be me almost 100% of the time.  I'm tickled pink who I am today.

Today I think about what I've learned in life, how my thoughts and ideals have shifted slightly to be those of a *gasp* middle aged woman.  How experiences have condensed a few realities into a simple list of 5 truths about life. 

1. Life IS too short.  I hear people say it all time. I rarely see people live like that believe it. You blink and another decade as whooshed by. 

2. Pick your battles.  See #1.

3. Love yourself without exception. This is a hard one. If I had a super power granted to me, I'd help young women (and men I suppose) to see the true, unique beauty in themselves.  Self-confidence is very attractive.

4. Love your family. You might think they are dysfunctional. You might think they are crazy - and they most likely are - but at the end of the day, they will most likely have your back.

5. Give back.  I am a very fortunate person.  I'm lucky to have a job, a good income, and health.  There are many who do not.  Volunteering, and giving back helps you fell better about who you are and who you want to be.  It makes the world a happier place, and that's never a bad thing.

I know none of those are life shattering.  I know a hundred, thousand people before me figured this out.  I know that each year I'll keep learning something new.  But by and large, these 5 things ring true year after year.  And as I sit on the threshold of beginning my 44th year, I want to be sure that I am living each day, without exception, to the fullest it can be...for that day. Cuz let's face it, some days sitting on the couch is all you want to do.  And at 43, I'm okay with that.