No Matter What They Say – it Ain’t EASY!

Recently I had a discussion with a friend who’s trying to lose weight about a “get skinny quick” diet she tried and failed at.  She was a bit discouraged that this new diet promised instant results and said it was so easy you didn’t have to change your eating habits.

It got me thinking about the diet industry.  In general, it’s mostly a lie.  If you flip through any magazine in the grocery store line, you’re almost guaranteed to see some ads for losing 10 lbs within a week. Or you’ll see words like “easy”, “fast” and “simple”.

Here’s the truth, it ain’t easy.  There is nothing easy about losing weight.

Because here is weight loss in a nutshell: eat less and move more!

Period.

I read recently on a blog a method that the writer was using to lose weight. She had lost 135 lbs and has kept it off so I figured she knows what she’s talking about.  Her basic theory is find a calorie range that you can eat daily and that doesn’t make you suffer with hunger pangs and allows that you are consuming less that you are burning just by living and exercise.  She recommends finding your BMR and working toward a healthy number.  I searched Google and found a couple sites that you just type your numbers in and it’ll tell you. Beware though, it’s scary.

She goes on to do a math calculation that makes a ton of sense to me. Once you’ve figured out your BMR based on your current daily activity “consider eating 250 calories less than that per day. If you also try to burn an additional 250 calories through exercise each day, you will be eating at a deficit of 500 calories daily- this kind of deficit leads to 1 pound of weight loss in a week’s time (1lb= 3500 calories, so 7 days of burning 500 calories creates 1lb of loss).”

Did you see that? A light bulb went off over my head.

Eating less is only one part of the equation of course. Moving more is a big part of the whole plan.  Finding something you enjoy doing for an exercise and do it.  Do it more!  Do it consistently and do it more often. 

This, friends, is straightforward. Tried and true.

Ignore the magazines.  Ignore the hype they promise.  It is not easy. Weight loss will never be “easy”, “simple”, or “fast”.  You will never be able to “indulge” the way they promise.  If you want it, you will have to put in some serious effort. And sometimes all that effort doesn’t pay off the way you expect it should.  But don’t be discouraged.  Just by making that little step to eat less and move more, you’re already doing something great.



I can only speak about my own weight loss, because, let’s face it, it’ll be different for each of us. Our amount to lose, our age and our environment will dictate the weight loss journey being different.  When I started this journey in January I was motivated by health and a little by fear.  I was afraid my health would decline increasingly and I’d eventually be poking myself every day with a needle full of insulin.  I was also fearful that if I didn’t make a change I’d be 300lbs in a matter of months.  I’d just continue to get bigger and bigger until bigger eclipsed biggest – I couldn’t risk getting to that point. I had to make a change. I really had no choice – it had to happen.

My first month I was extremely motivated and enthusiastic.  Everything was a challenge and every one of them I embraced and tackled without hesitation.  I wanted this … badly. 

Focused, determined, eyes narrowed, head down, I went for it. I didn’t pause to really think about the long road ahead. I had a goal – 20lbs by March 31^st.  I could surely make it.

What I didn’t expect was how hard it would be? 10 years ago losing weight was way easier.  In my 40’s losing weight is more of a challenge.  My first weeks I saw weight loss that I wasn’t necessarily happy with. I expected bigger numbers each week. But I didn’t let it deter me.  I made the connection that I was older and anything that was increasing my weight was progress to me.

But then, after I’d been at it for a while, I started to slow. In progress, in patience. The vigilance, the exercise- they wore on me. Newness evaporated and I began to feel bored with the whole process. I shuddered when reality reminded me , “Um, well gosh, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but… you’re going to have to keep at this for another 12-18 months. Give or take forever.”

What happened next, just after I silently called myself a quitter, a loser, all manner of bad names, was a simple enough thought:

Oh, it’s just going to suck for a while.

Yes, that. Just that. A heady dose of reality.

It was a revelation. Because for once, I realized that weight loss wouldn’t be like taking up running as a new hobby, and it certainly wouldn’t come with a map or course directions. It would be like a marathon, where miles 10-20 just purely, uncompromisingly suck.

Once I said this to myself, everything seemed clearer.  I recognized the distance, the real strength that I’d have to maintain. I recognized that I probably wouldn’t like it. But I knew, that at the end of the journey it will have been all worth it.

I’ve allowed myself “free” days and know the reality is that my social life revolves around food.  I don’t find anything wrong with that, and it will most likely continue to be that way.  There have been times, dozens upon dozens, when I wanted a bag of Doritos. When I wanted to sit on my couch and eat and eat and eat to my favorite TV shows. When I didn’t want anything to do with willpower or her cousin moderation. When I didn’t want one scoop of ice cream when I knew Ben & Jerry offered pints.

There’s just no denying the hard parts. The 4:30pms when you’re midway between lunch and dinner and no amount of fruit will ever satisfy like bag of chips. The afternoons when you’re setting the pace on the elliptical and your legs feel leaden. The look of the small portion on your dinner plate – and wanting to maybe make two dinners. The times in the coffee shop that you smell a just-baked muffin and you sigh realizing, unfortunately, that you can’t eat three, hot, with butter. The times when sheet cake is splayed in front of you and you know that ‘just a sliver’ won’t cut it.

These are the minutes, the hours, when I need to brace myself and just ride it out. Because, really- how you act when times are just peachy is nothing compared to how you act when times are rotten. The peachy times don’t say as much, anyway, about your strength or your determination. These moments where you feel your weakest, when you’re absolutely certain that you’d rather give up than keep going- they’re going to come.

Perhaps if all who wrote about health and weight loss acknowledged that it would be hard as hell, we’d have a more realistic approach. We wouldn’t sprint out of the gate because we’d not want to run out of steam midway. We wouldn’t swear off food groups because we’d realize that life feels less full when we take things away.

I wonder if we went into the journey knowing the side effects, the hardships and hurdles- if we wouldn’t feel a bit more prepared. More apprehensive, maybe, but prepared. I wonder if we’d be kinder to ourselves and others, knowing that it’s difficult, it’s long, and it can feel unforgiving.

If it were ever easy, we’d be there by now. We wouldn’t start and stop and start again. We’d be content and living on easy street.

If there was no struggle, no strain, we wouldn’t feel so accomplished at the end. We couldn’t be so proud. It’d feel less special. So there’s merit to pointing out the hard parts. Weight loss will come with equal parts struggle and strength. And each will change along the way. You’ll know that it doesn’t stay hard forever. You’ll also know to buckle down when those hard parts come, sure that relief always follows. You’ll know that I felt it too, and that it gets better.

I have .8lbs to my first goal.  I’m so close and so determined this week to push through this .8lbs.  I’ll celebrate slightly this weekend, and Monday morning I’ll start my second 20lbs goal.