Here we go...

I keep finding myself asking, "Are we there yet?" And I'm not really "going" anywhere.

Tomorrow is Dad's Celebration of Life.  **chokes back tears**

I'm been a big ball of bitchiness leading up to this event.  But I have my reasons.

Work has me stressed, the Celebration planning has me stressed, I'm trying to grieve, but have to put my feelings away so I can deal with work and getting the Celebration planned. All that together makes me cranky...as the MomUnit pointed out today.

I'm not going to apologize for being bitchy. We all get like that sometimes and its just the way it's going to be until I kick this Celebration off tomorrow. There's a lot of emotion just bubbling under the surface, and it's about to break out.

People keep saying that grief is very personal, and that each person grieves uniquely.  I get that. Boy do I get that. But what they don't tell you is people grieving around you often don't get or forget that its different for each of us. Or they get so caught up in the grief themselves that they just don't see it.

I need to really spend some time thinking about this in the next couple of weeks.  While I feel I've grieved the loss of the DadUnit, I think tomorrow is going to push me over the edge. Besides the fact that all of the people who loved dad will be there telling stories about him (I hope), I'm going to be letting go of the stress related to throwing this Celebration of Life. I just might be one hot mess by tomorrow night.

In other exciting news, its hot here in the great Northwest. I LOVE it. Sparky loves it.  A lot of my friends love it.  And then there are the true Seattlelites who aren't too excited about the heat.  I figured we should enjoy it while we can since it won't be here much longer.