Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live

Admit it...you've been sitting there just waiting for me to post something.

I know. I'm all that and a slice of bread.

Seriously? You've been waiting right?

Ahem....insecurities aside, let's get to an update.

My last blog post was about my baby steps BACK into eating healthy. I'm on week 2 of this adventure and I can report with great enthusiasm that things are going GREAT.

The little victories I had last week and leading into this week have kept me motivated. I'm currently working on an app to capture that motivation and slap me upside the head with it when I stop feeling it.

The one thing I can say that has been the biggest difference I've seen in this week and half is how I feel emotionally.

For several months now - probably since right after losing BigBro - I've felt kinda depressed. Most the time. I haven't wanted to do things that I normally enjoy. I've just felt blah. I didn't want to say, "Hey everyone I'm depressed!" because I kinda felt it would pass and that I'd be back to me. I have, however, been able to put on one helluva good show, I think.

But here's the thing, this eating healthy thing and the small victories have really perked me up.  I've felt - emotionally - better in the last week and half than I have for months. Who knew? (well besides every single living person).

Consistent exercise still alludes me. I've added packing my gym bag and putting it by the front door to my nightly routine - and that helped yesterday. Though I battled with myself about whether I wanted to go to the gym or not.  I played the typical Jenn game of, "oh just drive by."  Then, "oh just park." Then, "well you're here you might as well go in."

I did, admittedly, sit in the car for a moment and had a little Jenn fantasy - or nightmare rather - of walking over the threshold of the gym and all these bells and whistles, and flashing lights would go off with a big sign dropping down saying, "SHE'S NOT BEEN HERE FOR MONTHS!!!"  Turns out, that didn't happen.

So here we are, just 9 days in and I feel like:
1. I've made some good solid choices.
2. I've done GREAT in the planning and prepping section.
3. I still have a hard time when it comes to eating out and making good choices.
4. I still have to force myself to the gym.

But I feel good. Oh and as for the song lyric reference from the song Brave, I was brave yesterday and stepped on the scale for the first time in, well a very long time. I was pleasantly surprised to see it wasn't as bad as I thought. It was bad, no doubt about that, but it was still a necessary step in this forever continuing, never-ending journey.