Give me a little Attitude

Before I step onto my soap box, I must first remove the cat from his resting place so I can type with more ease. 

Sheesh!

Right, so the soap box.

I’m a self aware person. I like to look inwards and seek answers from my past to help shape my future.  Good or bad, I find that there are very specific life lessons that has, to this day, helped me to become the woman I am today.

When I look at that woman, I find that I’m okay with who she is.  Could she afford to save more money? Of course. Could you lose a little bit of weight? Definitely.

But by and large, I like who I am. 

I’ve had a great many successes in my life and just as many, if not more, failures.  A quote I have over my desk at home reads, “If you’ve never failed, you’ve never lived.” 

But it’s about those successes I want to focus on. Not to blow wind in my sails, or sound egotistical, but rather how do I perceive that I got to those successes.

Overwhelmingly, I would say, by my attitude.

And I don’t mean “double snap in a Z” attitude. I mean my mental state of mind.

I wrote a blog recently about how I’d bet on myself every time.  And what gets me to that point is that I believe 100% in myself.  Sometimes. Most of the times.

Recently I started a photography business.  Anyone I’ve mentioned it to that knows me says, without blinking, ”You’ll be great at it.” And I usually agree with them, at least outwardly.

Inwardly (is that a word?) I’m doubting.  I can’t possibly do this.

Yes I can.

No I can’t.

YES, I CAN…

Um, NO, I cannot.

And the conversation between the committee goes on. Eventually the “Yes You Can” wins.

And for a moment I believe I can. All seems right in the world, and I am, without a doubt, making the right choice.

Then the doubting Thomas comes back.

“What are you thinking? What makes you think YOU can do this?” And on and on it goes. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Thankfully, I have this little tool to help me. Well, it’s not a tool so much as a big rock with words typed on it.

Attitude is Everything!

This rock has been with me for – well – a long time.  The person who gave it to me, once was very important to me, and in fact, I was sure I was going to marry. That person? He’s moved on.  He probably doesn’t even think of me ever anymore.  We were friends.  We were volleyball partners.  And somehow he managed to show me that Attitude is Everything.

I, like many people (I almost said women/girls, but I suspect boys/men have the same issues at times) struggled with self esteem.  It often tries to get the best of me, but I’ve learned what it’s ugly mug looks like and it has no business in my mind. 
When playing doubles volleyball, my partner, Hickey, would often tell me when I was sure the other team would crush us, he’d always remind me that the mind of a warrior is way more impressive than the brawn.  That and my killer sneaky slice shot I had.  What? I was short, I had to have other volleyball skills to play with the big dogs. 

Still, Hickey was constantly reminding me as we played, about attitude and how to bring that attitude to the volleyball court.  He gave me the rock.  He had no idea at the time, and probably still doesn’t, how much that rock as helped shape my life.

I can look at times in my life where I was the under dog, where I never should have even been where I was, yet I believed I should be. And in the end, it was that attitude that pushed me forward.

In the end of the 9^th grade, I knew I was moving schools to the “rival” across town. I knew they had a bad rifle team. I knew I was better. I tried out for captain and got it.

Egotistical? Maybe.  But I knew that my skills could help push that rifle team forward and perhaps win a few trophies.  

In 1986 my parents came to me and said we were moving to Saudi Arabia. I had the choice to stay in Washington and live with my oldest brother or go to a boarding school the Boeing company was going to pay for.  Leaving meant leaving all my new friends behind.  Starting new.  But I knew I could do it. How could I not? I had moved so many times in my life, what was one more move?

In 2005 I started taking project management classes.  I wasn’t the smartest person in the room (and frequently still aren’t), but I pushed through the classes. Then taking the Project Management Professional test was presented in front of me. Back then it was a big deal. It was a tough test.  Several smart people I knew didn’t pass it.  And yet, I figured, why not?  I studied –hard- and I passed it. 
Now I realize that those three examples I played a major role in succeeding at the goal.  But it was the knowledge that if I worked at it and tried hard, I could succeed.  And there in lies the lesson.

Attitude is only 80% of it. The other 20% is work. Hard work. 

And so while the voice of doubt will still crop up and tempt me to not even try, I hold to the words on that lovely rock given to me by someone who came into my life for a specific purpose. 

If I believe I can and if I put the required effort in for it, there’s no reason I can’t accomplish my goal.

Of course with the help of PhotoShop I can take good photos...yes I CAN!

And as if the world is speaking to me...I posted this blog and received this video.