Again, I open with a warning. Miss Jenn is currently occupied and in her place is her alter, more eviler (yes that's a word) ego Miss CrankyPants is present and accounted for. I've spent the last day and a half (approximately 8 hours total) having computer issues brought on by IT and upgrading to a new "and improved" operating system. 8 hours loss of productivity only to discover the changes did not fix our very nagging issue. So now, I'm behind. I have more emails in my Inbox then I care to, two project plans to write, status notes to write up, hand off emails to send/confirm, all combining to open the door to Miss CrankyPants and her side kick Mr. StressMan.
Being stressed one of my not so attractive qualities comes out way too much. Miss Judgmental. And so with that I tell you this story.
I know it’s likely just me, but I feel the need to write about this none the less. As Patron Saint always says, “My blog. My rules.” I also realize that everyone stinks at some point. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an idiot...I just don't appreciate other people's stink. Like let's say hypothetically if a person in your cube farm farts. Not funny. Stinky!
But I digress.
The woman’s restroom in this office complex needs to have a “StinkOMeter” outside of it. A warning device that allows you, the unsuspecting, to decide if you want to "Enter At Your Own Risk." It’s quite unfair to walk in be introduced to a wall of green fumes that are strong enough to curl ones hair and make one's eyes water.
I’ve put some thought into how the StinkOMeter would register said odors and I correlated it to the National Threat Advisory.
Green: Low risk of stench
. Safe to enter.
Green: Low risk of stench
. Safe to enter.Blue / Guarded: General risk of stench; should consider breathing through nose only upon entry.
Yellow / Elevated: Significant risk of stench; prepare yourself. The need to put nose down shirt is likely.
Orange / High: High Risk of Stench. Absolutely no breathing through the mouth upon entry. Hair will curl miraculously upon entry.
Red / Severe: Severe Risk of Stench. . Eyes will water. Green haze will fill the air. Enter at your own risk. Gas masks should be worn for entry into this facility. Do not attempt to enter without one.
I'm telling you this system would save hundreds, millions of women from that fateful entrance into a restroom.
4 comments:
When it smells, I always hold my breath, run in, grab the air freshner, squirt it 3 or 4 times, run out and wait 5 or 10 minutes, and then it's gone. And that air freshner crap is a miracle - it totally gets rid of the odor instead of making it smell like crap covered roses.
I need to comment on this one...even if I am on a cruise. I laughed at the stink-o-meter until people around me were looking at me! Remember I am in an internet cafe! Anyway, I would like to add that the stink-o-meter needs to be used at one's home as well...especially if you share it with a man! And an automatic door should close and SEAL until said stink is gone! EW
AS for Miss Cranky Pants...thats just because your older self is on a cruise and you aren't!
This reminded me of Rob's color terror system. It seems some of this might be applicable. Or not ;-)
I forgot to thank you for the warning before I suffered the same fate.
Thanks Jenn!! :-)
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