Iron Chef Battle: Tom Turkey vs Chef Jenn

Battle Turkey commenced at O dark thirty on Thursday morning. My body thought it was a work day so prompted me to rise early. Since I was awake, I figured why not get up and get to it. Turkey dinner is never an "issue" for me with regards of making it, it's the timing and the damn bird that generally causes me grief. This year would prove to be no different.

I had 8 turkey eaters, two wittle tiny dogs, two LARGE dogs, and a hiding cat for dinner. (We can ignore the cat since he never ever came out) and once you see one of the dogs you'll understand Pookie's reluctance.

First thing in the morning I decided to get the Turkey put together and ready to be put in the oven. I cook my turkey in bags every year because they come out perfectly - so they say. This year Tom was an 18 pounder - which means a very large bird. My goal was to have plenty of left overs. Tom was pulled from his resting position in the fridge and put on a roasting pan rack to have his innards removed. Only Tom wasn't quite thawed. Eh, what? I stood there, transfixed with disbelief that AGAIN my bird wasn't defrosted (last year I had the same issue). Tom had been in the fridge since Sunday, surely he should be thawed. Nope. So into a ice bath with him to get him thawed a bit more to get out the insides. Finally, I was able to prep him accordingly. Vegetables inside, salt/pepper on the outside and now the challenge. Me, an 18 lb slippery bird and a bag. One leg in, the second leg in, first leg pulls out, push it back in, other leg pops out...and so on. Smart as I am, I decided to stick him in from the other end so the legs don't keep popping out. Stupid bird.

Finally, Tom is safely in the bird with relatively little turkey gunk all over me and the kitchen. He's ready for the oven. But first, I must admit that Wednesday I had to call the Turkey Hotline. I had the bag but not the chart to cook it. So I hopped on the phone to call I800 Turkey. A recording greeted me and I sat for 15 minutes until it got to how long to cook the bird. Great, that in hand I knew I was ready.

So according to the Turkey hotline, the 18 lbs of turkey flesh would need 2.5 hours. (Cooking in a bag decreases cooking time.). But knowing that my oven is a bit off (like the cook in the kitchen) I figured 3 hours plus 3o minutes for it to sit after. In at noon it went.

In the meantime, I realized I had voicemails. Voicemail one was from my Bro who called to notify me of a CheezWhiz sighting in a local store. While I giggled at him looking out for his little sister, I was glad I was able to finally find CW at another Fred Meyer store in Bellevue.

Dressing made and in the fridge, broccoli casserole made and in the fridge, carrots made and in the fridge, turkey prepped, I was all set for Thanksgiving by 9am. I had the rest of the day to just hang out. So I sat and watched the Macy's parade.

Guests started to arrive. HikeGirl arrived with Bread in a Can. He Thanksgiving assignment was to bring bread. She thought it would be fun to at least try this Bread in a Can. I feel it is my duty to warn you all....NEVER EVER BUY BIAC. It was disgusting. But at least we tried it.

Claudia and her mom were next to arrive. Their Thanksgiving assignment; cranberries. Not only did they bring cranberries in a can, but homemade cranberry sauce. MMMM.

Sharon and Sally arrived shortly after. Sharon is Mark's sister and Sally is her partner. I've met them both several times and adore both of them. Very low key and easy going people. They brought the "kids" Bella (The Rottweiler) and Ninja (The Lab mix).

Mark and Vanessa brought pie and their two wittle puppies (Buttercup and Teabiscuit).

So as you see I had a crowed. Left to Right: Bella, Claudia, Sally, HikerGirl (Margo), Vanessa with Buttercup, Mark with Teabiscuit, Claudia's mom (Eisell I believe is her name), Sharon, Ninja and Chef Jenn.

So by 2:30 I stuck Tom with a meat thermometer into the breast and it registered 140F. Great, I had easily another hour to reach 180. Which was fine because we had clam dip (another family tradition) to keep us company. At 3:30 I poked the bird again, the breast registered 180F and the thigh 170F, the bird was ready to come out. Tom sat on the stove for 30 minutes as I made the mashed potatoes, cooked the dressing, broccoli casserole and carrots. Then came the daunting task of getting Tom out of the bag without losing all the juices to make the gravy. Claudia and I spent the next 5 minutes struggling, but we won in the end.

I started to carve into Tom, feeling relieved to have won, when, Wait, what... it's still raw in the middle. Holy crap! Then I remembered, it wasn't completely thawed, and perhaps the meat thermometer didn't go in far enough. Dammit! I had 7 hungry people, and a big Rotty waiting for turkey. So Claudia and I carved off the meat that was cooked, thankfully, and served up dinner. What a spread we had. Turkey, dressing, broccoli salad, carrots with brown sugar and walnuts, mashed potatoes and gravy, homemade cranberries, real bread (not bread in a can), wine, and good friends.

The battle, in the end, was a tie. I had to cook the rest of Tom as we ate. And now I have a large amount of turkey left to make turkey noodle soup ... mmmmm... Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Burp!

Oh and Pookie did finally come out and gave me the why-for the rest of the night. I gave him a few pieces of turkey to distract him. So easy! So spoiled!