I finished watching the 5 seasons of Six Feet Under last night. Who among all my "so called" friends decided it would be good to NOT tell me? Huh? I wanna know. Which one of you?
If you've not watched Six Feet Under and plan to...STOP READING.
I sat on my couch last night and gushed water. Mountains of kleenex littered my sofa. I sobbed like I haven't sobbed in a long time. You know the uncontrollable sobs where you almost hyperventilate. No one told me that Nate dies. WTF? No one! I cried and cried and cried. I did not expect that at all - didn't see it coming - and for the first time didn't read the episodes online first before watching.
As the series progressed from Nate's death to his funeral to how the family dealt with it, ugh...I just couldn't stop. The emotions were so real, so raw to me. Then after taking a deep breath, I popped in the last DVD. The last episode of Six Feet Under. For being an ending to a show that's ran for 5 years, they (the producers/staff) did an EXCELLENT job at closure. But again, NONE of my "so called" friends warned me. The series ends with showing how the rest of the family eventually dies. I watched 5 more people die. While all of them were relatively non tragic(with the exception of one) I found myself BAWLING again. It was like losing old friends.
I'm not usually a crier. I have watched many a sad movies and have come out without a tear. Unlike cousin Sherrie who cries when Pa on Little House on the Prairie cries. She'd always say, "He's such a good crier." But I have noticed that since I left Catalysis and all that bad stuff behind, I find myself crying all the time. I can watch When Harry Met Sally for the 15th Thousands time and cry. I never cried before at that movie. And yet, I cry now. I find myself flipping the channel now if something is making me start to cry. That tingle in the eye, the sudden onslaught of moisture in your eyes...blink blink...change the channel.
Its not that time of the month, so I know its not that. And since I just left Catalysis in January I've gone through a few of those moments...but I'm convinced that Catalysis was such a bad environment for me, my heart and soul just closed down. I could feel nothing. And did feel nothing. They beat me down to the point where I had no feelings about anything. THAT is not a good place to be. And now all that pent up saddness, grief, rage, is storming its way out of me. Its very cleansing. Very free-ing ( I realize that's not a word, but it is now).
I think I should have bought stock in Kleenex.
4 comments:
There is nothing better to cleanse the soul than a good, hard cry! And now, words of wisdom from Mom "Forget the past, live for present, plan for tomorrow." Catalysis was a horrible place for you to work. They didn't appreciate anything you did or tried to do. They will not suceed anyway...they are on their way out. The owner/managers had no clue how to manage people, nor did they care. Just look at how many people have left them...that should say it all. MOVE FORWARD...you are a great person, with lots of great talent that apparently Microsoft is truly appreciating. Use it! Get rid of the past....it isn't worth it. Yes, we noticed you shutting down while at Catalysis, but, being who you are, we knew you would figure it out and GET OUT! Now you are gone and will NEVER go back.
Stop it, you're making me cry again.
I have the first four seasons of SFU but I read your entry anyway because I know what happens. Now, I just have to get the last season so I can experience it. (Hint Hint, Vicky... in case you're reading...)
SFU was one of my favorite shows and it came out during a time in my life when I was crying a lot. My marriage had just broken up and I found myself very alone so I could empathize a great deal with those characters.
I cry in Hallmark when I go to buy a card for my mom or dad. I feel like an idiot, but I can't help it, reading all that sappy shit. The rest of the time, I'm like steel.
Well, most of the time.
Um, half the time?
Okay, some of the time, and let's just leave it at that, okay?
Post a Comment