The Buzz on Phobias

Ah spring. That glorious time of year where nature awakens itself with new birth.

As much as I love spring, it brings up a teeny tiny little phobia I have. Now anyone who knows me knows a few things to be absolutely true about me - I love coffee. I love Mustangs. I hate bell peppers and I HATE BEES.

Bees. They scare the BEEJesus out of me. Any object larger than a nat flying too close for comfort can send me into a frenzy of unrecognizable movements...a fly, a bat, a marshmallow (long story), anything. It could be a bee. And if its a bee, I'm outta there.

Thinking that if I knew more about bees, and understood bees, perhaps I wouldn't be so afraid of them. While I found some interesting pieces of useless knowledge about bees, it hasn't lifted my fear one iota.

For example, did you know there are 20,000 different varieties of bees? Why do we need that many bees?

And did you know the only place in the world you won't find bees is in the very cold polar climates.? Not likely to be a Starbucks around in those places, so living there isn't an option.

We all know the black and yellow bee, but did you know there are bees that come in the colors of red, green, gray, and even blue?

And did you know, of the Earth's entire population, only four percent are allergic to bee stings? I don't know if I'm of that 4% because I don't want to be stung and never have been.

The venom from a bee is transferred through a stinger that the bee leaves behind after stinging you. This stinger will automatically continue to pump the venom into your system for as long as twenty minutes after the initial sting. - Um does anyone else see anything "aby-normal" about this? They are not normal creatures...and should be done away with.

The action of flinging your arms around the air or swatting at the flying bee is interpreted by the bee as being aggressive. And aggressive behavior is cause for a sting. The best approach is to remain calm and the bee will move on within a few minutes. - I'm screwed. I fling everything when a bee's around...and my everything flinging is not a pretty site.

I like being out doors in the summer/spring time. But I always have a watchful eye on anything resembling a bee...AND I always have an escape route planned. Small children and elderly people should be ware if I'm around and outdoors. Because I will lower myself to running you over in the event a bee enters my general vicinity. I cannot be held accountable for your safety.

Why do I hate bees you ask? Who the hell knows. It's an irrational fear I've had for years. I've never been stung, and don't plan to. Though a former boss of mine thinks I should just get stung to get it over with. No thanks, I'll pass.

I was almost in a fatal (because I'm sure I was dying) car crash in college because the person driving (who wasn't me) flung the car to the side of the road because a bee meandered into the car. Now it should be stated that this person also used to say that bees won't hurt you and claimed that her family had a bee farm in her back yard. Why the hell would any SANE person have bees purposefully in their back yard? Anyhow, Casaundra (aka CasaButtay), was driving a long when a bee flew into the car. As I mentioned she flung the car to the side of the road and was out of the car before I could even blink. She, luckily, was in the front seat and could escape relatively unscathed. Me, on the other hand, was stuck in the back seat with a bee and a seat belt that would NOT come loose. Thus my need for an escape route where bees are concerned.

Phobias are funny things. They are silly and mostly irrational. But to the person who has that said phobia, they are real. Which of course got me on the "interweb" to check out phobias. Here are some of the amusing ones I found - And I didn't make these up, I swear.

Vestiphobia - fear of clothes
Pentheraphobia - fear of the mother-in-law
Ophidiophobia - fear of snakes (this ones for you mom...)
Bogeyphobia - fear of the boogy man
Aerophobia- Fear of swallowing air
Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth
Aulophobia- Fear of flutes
Phobophobia- Fear of fear
Brontophobia - Fear of Thunder

Side Bar: Many moons ago, my mom and I were playing trival pursuit. It seemed the answer to every question that day was "Fear". So, I answered the question with "fear". At the same time, it was thundering outside and my mom said "Thunder". I repeated "Fear" and she repeated "thunder". And so on and so forth. We couldn't get it across to each other what we were saying. To THIS day, whenever we misunderstand what each other says one will say "Fear" and the other responds with "Thunder".

Cnidophobia or Linonophobia- Fear of string
Dextrophobia- Fear of objects at the right side of the body
Geniophobia- Fear of chins
Helmintophobia- Fear of being infested with worms
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words
Paraskavedekatriaphobia- Fear of Friday the 13th
Peladophobia- Fear of bald people

And of course:
Fear of bees is termed "apiphobia," a word derived from "api-" from the Greek "apis" meaning bee + "phobia" from the Greek "phobos" meaning fear = literally, fear (of) bee(s). Apiphobia is also called melissophobia, since "melissa" is another Greek word for bee.

Phobias can deeply impact a person's life. If you do suffer from any phobias, I would suggest calling one-eight-hundred-phobias, for arithmophobics (people who fear numbers) or for logophobics (people who fear words), 1-800-555.5555. (This phone number is for entertainment purposes only.)