HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE!!!!

Now, those of you who know me are probably waiting for the sarcastic, though witty, remark about how I hate Valentine's Day. And it's true I have treated this holiday with a certain degree of disdain. But no'mo!

One of my favorite songs of all time is Depeche Mode's song "Somebody." It has explained for years how I feel about love. If you haven't heard it, the song is a love song...sorta. It starts off sounding all beautiful and lovely. The singer basically telling the world how much he loves this person, and how much this person makes him feel complete. Then the last line of the song,

"Things like this. Make me sick. In a case like this, I get away with it."

See, it's really saying its all crap. And that my loverlies is how I've seen love.

I thought I had it once, but come to find out that it was a mirage. And that added to my lack of belief in love.

I could go down a list of men/boys that I've felt compelled to share my heart with - who sadly may not have felt the same - and that added to it.

All of it. Lack of love stacked on lack of love, each being a brick that I've successfully built around this beautiful heart that is mine.

Now, that's not to say I don't love people...because I do...I just don't want to love and feel love because that = pain. And pain is no good.

And that is how my thought process has worked all these years. But, as I stated above, no' mo'!

That's right kids, you read it first here. Jennifer is going to find the love. I'm going to exude love and I guarantee you it'll come back to me ten fold. The negativity I have been spewing for years has. So why can't the same work for love.

I watched Oprah the other day and she had a panel on there talking about "The Secret". I don't normally give a whole lot of thought about things on Oprah, but it was one of those *things* that someone said that made me think about my existence.

I've long since believed that everything comes to us for a reason. Religious folks would argue that there's a "plan" already laid out and that's why. But for me, I think it's more that all things are connected. You've heard the phrase, "what goes around comes around". And it's true. Though its usually used in negative terms. But what if its true for positive energy too. What if, you feel the love, you'll get the love?

And so, I'm doing an experiment. I'm trying to feel the love! I'm trying to take what I normally would be cynical and sarcastic toward and turn it around. It won't happen over night, and I don't expect it to. But what if the vibe I've been sending off to the world is that of negativity and lack of love? What if I send off a different vibe - a smellier vibe - that smells of love?

Anything that happens to me is within my reach to change. I've always hated people who play the victim. The person who blames the world for all their problems in their life. So maybe now its time to stop playing the victim with regard to love. Maybe its time to be the love. Feel the love and take the love.

Can you feel it? It nauseating isn't it. But it's gotta feel good!