Which is code for “prepare for a random blog”.
The Bees have it
I was thinking the other day ( a scary proposition to be sure) about my bee phobia . And I think I need to face this phobia head on. So I started doing what any good PM does, and I started planning my attack (pardon the pun). I started thinking about my body armor for this challenge. I first thought I could put myself in one of those big sumo wrestling suits. But then thought, what if a bee sting – or several – put little holes in the suit and it deflated. Then I’d be stuck ( another bee pun…sorry).
Then I thought, why not just get a XXXXL bee suit. Fill it with ghost poopies (aka Styrofoam packing peanuts) so that no bee could penetrate through to my actual skin. Then I’d cover myself from head to toe with duct tape so that only my eyes would be visible. Surely that would avoid any little critters getting near me.
Now, I need to find a bee hive/village/condo/commune. I searched the Internet and came up with nothing. So too bad. Guess I’ll have to face this phobia another day.
I’m a Training Bra
Last night at dinner my mother informed me that she and my sister-in-law decided that I’m the “training” girl for me. In reviewing my past relationships and how they’ve turned out it goes something like this.
Step 1: Relationship with Jenn ( course length based on previous experience ) Prerequisite: a pulse
Step 2: Allow training to commence ( 1-2 year duration)
Step 3: Feel complete once official training is done, but may need elective courses (after first year)
Step 4: Graduate from Jenn to woman of my dreams (after second year)
Step 5: Toss training bra aside for new improved no seams, no buckles, new stretchy bra.
I don’t much like thinking about the fact that I’m “training” for men. Because god knows, sorry boys, but there is no way to train them. They have three basic needs. Food. Sleep. And Sex. Am I wrong? I certainly didn’t enter any of these relationships with the idea of being the “training bra”, and so I’m left to wonder if perhaps my lot in life is to be just the trainer? A psychic did once tell me she could see me being a trainer or instructor.
The Bees have it
I was thinking the other day ( a scary proposition to be sure) about my bee phobia . And I think I need to face this phobia head on. So I started doing what any good PM does, and I started planning my attack (pardon the pun). I started thinking about my body armor for this challenge. I first thought I could put myself in one of those big sumo wrestling suits
Then I thought, why not just get a XXXXL bee suit. Fill it with ghost poopies (aka Styrofoam packing peanuts) so that no bee could penetrate through to my actual skin. Then I’d cover myself from head to toe with duct tape so that only my eyes would be visible. Surely that would avoid any little critters getting near me.
Now, I need to find a bee hive/village/condo/commune. I searched the Internet and came up with nothing. So too bad. Guess I’ll have to face this phobia another day.
I’m a Training Bra
Last night at dinner my mother informed me that she and my sister-in-law decided that I’m the “training” girl for me. In reviewing my past relationships and how they’ve turned out it goes something like this.
Step 1: Relationship with Jenn ( course length based on previous experience ) Prerequisite: a pulse
Step 2: Allow training to commence ( 1-2 year duration)
Step 3: Feel complete once official training is done, but may need elective courses (after first year)
Step 4: Graduate from Jenn to woman of my dreams (after second year)
Step 5: Toss training bra aside for new improved no seams, no buckles, new stretchy bra.
I don’t much like thinking about the fact that I’m “training” for men. Because god knows, sorry boys, but there is no way to train them. They have three basic needs. Food. Sleep. And Sex. Am I wrong? I certainly didn’t enter any of these relationships with the idea of being the “training bra”, and so I’m left to wonder if perhaps my lot in life is to be just the trainer? A psychic did once tell me she could see me being a trainer or instructor.
5 comments:
You missed one thing...at least in the case of my man, WoW (World of Warcraft). That is a necessity that can, at times, move ahead of the other three.
A man trainer...now why did I get that choice from my career counselor???
... well, I guess my comment's been snatched away... hmmm, speaking of which...
I love it when people tell me all the other guys I dated are just practice for Mr. Right.
I don't know why, but it always makes me feel like a slut.
But on the other hand, go Mr. Right for getting the uber-experienced girl!!
I have a friend who keeps bees near Portland. Let me know if you want to face your fear and I'll introduce you to him :) (BTW, he's married so this has nothing to do with the second half of your post...)
Anandi - Yah, I'm thinking not! If he were single I'd consider it.
Post a Comment