Engagement and Listening

Have you ever experienced a conversation with someone whom you felt was 100% in the moment with you? With someone who was completely engaged and "there"?

Its not something I'm accustomed to feeling, but when I do, it sure makes you feel like the person your talking to really wants to know you and understand you. Like they value you and appreciate the things you have to say. Which, or course, only causes me to chatter on even more, all the while my brain telling me to shoosh! But that's not the point...

The point is, communication has always been a strong suit of mine (well minus the public speaking and awkward chatter to a cute guy you're attracted to - but those don't count). Its always been easy for me to strike up a conversation with people. But that is only half of communication. With all the project management training I've had I learned that 70% of communication is listening. I also learned that most of us don't actually listen when someone's talking to us. Being a type A personality, its hard for me to focus long enough to actually listen to what's being said. I'm usually on to the next topic before the person has completed the first word. Our minds travel off to the grocery list, the plans for the weekend, the problem at work or home, etc.

But if you've ever experienced talking to someone who was 100% listening, you've just experience true communication.

I had such an experience recently, and I felt valued and a little cherished. That may sound weird, but I felt like what I was saying was important enough to this other person that they wanted to listen 100%. And the fact that I felt this person was engaged and listening made me want to articulate myself clearly and to the point, so as to not waste their time. And on top of it all, it made me want to be a better listener. If I could provide someone else with the feeling I just felt as I was talking to this person, that is a skill I think I need/want in my trove of skills.

Add one more item to the list of things to "fix".