My old friend Photography

I miss photography. I dropped photography a couple of years ago when I dropped the X boyfriend (okay it was a mutual drop). But photography had always been a passion of mine and something I really wanted to work at and something I was good at. Then I got in a slump. My minds eye could no longer see the beauty, see the picture. Nor did it want to take the shot, or to even look for it. All I took pictures of were flowers; close up macro type of pictures. Some say the pictures are beautiful, and gorgeous...and for some I'd agree. Not that I'm patting myself on my back, but how many artists do you know that actually like their work?

I have been mildly successful in selling a few pictures (mostly on cards), but the passion for taking pictures had left. I really just didn't enjoy it as much. And I don't think it had anything to do with no longer being with the X - who was a photographer - as much as photography drove that relationship and I think I was just bored and tired of it. I wanted to toss it aside like the wilted flower I had become.

So its spring. And all the flowers are blooming and I find myself yearning to take pictures of them. And yet, I stop myself because its what I always take pictures of. But today is different. Today I put the camera back in my bag. I am carrying the camera with me on my journey through today. What I'll take pictures of is still unknown. But it feels good to have my old friend with me again. It feels comfortable. It feels right.

Last night I got out my portfolio. This book filled with years of what I considered "successful" pictures. I tried to look at them as if I had never seen them before and as if I wasn't the one who took the picture. I tried to open my mind to see their beauty, to see what that photographer all those years ago was trying to capture. I was mildly successful at it. I did find small things wrong here and there: Too many white spots, not focused as well, maybe a better f-stop...oh the pain. But in the end when I slowly closed the book of my work, I felt like I had something. Not really sure what that something was. The person who took those pictures back then was VERY much a new person today. Maybe that person looking through the lense of a camera could in fact take better/different pictures...see a different view through the lense. Experience the photos different. And so, I start my photography journey once again. Only this time, a mature person who's taken the time to look through the lense of her life.

Stay tuned.