The Biggest Virtue I Lack

When I was a kid, I could barely wait for Christmas to show up. I don't think this was unique to me as kid - I think it's fairly common. But, not only could I hardly stand the secret behind each colorfully wrapped gift for Christmas, but my birthday loomed just 4 days after. It was a week of testing my patience – which isn’t something I was good at then or now. I would pick up each beautifully package and jiggle it. Assuming any sound it made would enlighten me of it's contents. Barbies never jiggled too well.

I’d look throughout the house the month before to see if I could find where mom and dad had skillfully hidden the gifts (which by the way – they were very skilled at hiding them - I think they should have opened their own branch of witness protection). I could barely stand the suspense. I should have known then that I’d struggle my entire life with being patient.

Out of necessity, I’ve trained myself to be better about being patient. Though generally speaking, people tend to try my patience at times. I’ve learned to save for something I want and not just randomly purchasing it on credit. I’ve learned to be patience and wait. It’s almost always more worth it by waiting. I’ve also learned that I need to be patient when some life changing life altering decision needs to be made. It never ends well if I jump to a conclusion and then jump to a decision.

I also have a lack of patience when it comes to waiting for a special occasion or vacation. As the important date or trip gets closer, the antsy-ier I get. I can usually placate myself by reading about the destination or by over planning the special occasion over and over in my head hoping that it passes the time. Though that usually backfires because then I get this perfect plan in my head and expect the special occasion or the vacation to be just like that. When it isn’t, I get disappointed. Still working on this.

My lack of patience is also why I stopped baking many years ago. All the measuring and waiting - ugh - drove me crazy. And so I focused on cooking. Last night, I was painfully reminded about my quest to be patient. You know instantly when you do it, and rarely can take back the action that puts you in a painful situation. Last night, I made stew. I burnt my tongue. I now can’t taste anything. My tongue feels like it’s 4 sizes too big for my mouth and now I’m forced to practice patience until I can taste again.