Top Ten Worst - it was scarier than even yesterday's post

Maybe I should apologize for the last post yesterday. And yet I feel like I was preparing you for the scariest thing of all. The Top Ten Worst Songs by Dudley Manlove. Now, before I get to that fear, let me share a few other frightening stories that took place.

To the drunken female pirate - thank you for just swaying to the music and not vomiting on my back. And it was our pleasure to act as a fence to stop you from hopping up on stage - again - and embarrassing yourself even more. And finally, could you refrain from using me as your crutch for holding your drunken self up. I sincerely hope your hang over today lasts for a good long time.

To Flower the skunk - What? Why were you staring at me? I mean I know I'm hot an all (and by hot I mean it was like 140 freaking degrees in that place last night) but really? Must you stare. You made me feel like you were a skunk looking to spray your stinky on some poor unsuspecting soul and that soul was me. Congrats on being female and winning the best male costume of the night. You're parents will be proud.

And finally to the old guy and his friend, really? Did you think that us hot chicks in the front row would give you the time of day? I mean come on, pretending to ask us where the bathrooms were as a pick up line. I probably should confess, I saw you departing said bathroom just moments before so unless you lost your memory, I was pretty sure you knew where it was.



Top Ten Worst Songs

Now go get a drink, some kleenex and sit down and feel the fear. This year several repeats reared their ugly heads. And while some may call them "worst" songs, I admit some are on the Pod of Crap (POC). And should you want to revist previous top ten worst, you can click here, here and here.


Oh but before I get there, let me tell you about the guest band. They performed two songs before I even knew who they were. Which I find amusing. I thought at first they were Crowded House, but I knew in my heart that those songs belonged to another band. And then they played this song: Talking Heads. I think maybe the Talking Heads were a little under rated in the 80's.



Ahem.


Now here's the Top 10 - but wait - let me first tell you about DMQ now. See, I was what some would say slight addicted to DMQ. Then they changed. I wasn't at all impressed with the last show I saw and naturally only assumed that all good things must come to an end.

Then last night happened. I'm not ashamed to admit I'm in love. In love with the new band. They sound better - way better - and the lead singer really is fitting in quite well. He's - gasp - on key almost every song. They don't appear to drink as much and so they appear to really have their - pardon the pun - act together. They are still ironing out the wrinkles, and may not have as many shows as they once did - but it's just a matter of time. DMQ will be back at the top. I know they are with me.

10. You're Beautiful - James Blunt
See, I actually like this song. What I absolutely don't get about this video is why he's stripping in the snow. Anyone? So if this song was to be any representation of how good or bad the rest were to be - I knew I was in for a treat.

And then we hit number 9...

9. Barbie Girl - Aqua
Yah, do I really need to say anything about this? Other than - for such a horrible song, it sure gets a lot of play time in the Dudley top 10. And yes, that's Stefan, the new lead singer, playing with his barbies. And if you're wondering, and I know you are, if Aqua did anything else. Yes. Yes they did. And if that one doesn't convince you to run and download...this one will, I'm sure. At least I'm sure it'll convince you to run.

8. Fame - Irene Cara
Oh she learned how to live forever alright - as a top 10 worst song. I actually got this song confused with Flashdance at first - I know a frightening thought in and of itself. What is frightening is the video. It looks like the rejects of the Solid Gold Dancers. And if you're too young to not know of the Solid Gold Dancers (PMDude) I hate you. I'm not completely sure what's more scary in the Solid Gold video - the clothing (obviously 80's - and I think early 80's) or the songs. Did you feel that? The shiver that just went down your spine. Oh and the #3 song on the Solid Gold count down is in our top 10. I'm just sayin'.


7. Seasons In The Sun - Terry Jacks
A story was told to us about a friend's brother who used to play this song non stop. Said friends mom lost it one day - a gentle soul usually - and smashed the 45. Blueberry loves this song and knows the words by heart. She seemed momentarily offended it's on the top ten, but then jumped right in to sing along. When the lead singer messed up the words, she crinkled her nose gave a disgusted look, but kept singing along.


6. We Built This City - Starship
Also a frequent visitor to the top 10. I wanted to attach a video of the new lead singer singing part of this song. It's not a good video. I was too close to the stage - well, if you call being within touching distance to the band "too close".

5. My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion
Ick. This song drives me to drink. It has also been in previous top tens, and I wasn't too surprised to see it here again.

4. Big Balls - AC/DC
Okay I laughed my butt off at this song. First because I had forgotten that it existed and second because it's a dumb song - but in a funny way. The crowd went absolutely nuts when this song was played. The new lead singer did it so well, and with the same accent. Classic.

3. Hold The Line - Toto
I'll probably get flack for this, but anything from Toto should be on the Top 10 Worst.

2. Can't Get Enough of Your love - Barry White
Seriously, one of my favorite songs of all time. It dates back to the Ally McBeal days. Barry White was a large part of that show. And really Barry White is an - er was an institution.

1. Physical - Olivia Newton-John
Come on...you know you love it. Physical had been in the top 10 before too. Didn't like it then and not a huge fan now. You should, however, watch the video to get the full effect of the fear.

And so another year, another ten really bad songs, pass. If I have to, I'll admit that only 4 of them are on the POC. I'll let you figure out which four.