A cat food Story

I made the cardinal mistake and started giving Pookie wet food one day...many many many years ago. Now he thinks every day is "wet food day", aka Treats. So every morning when I walk out of my room, he runs in front of my next step and rubs against the planted leg. I affectionately call this, "God damn it cat" dance. Though he doesn't get wet food every morning, he gets it about well, every other morning, and sometimes twice on the weekend.

So I'm out of "treats" for Pookie. He, as you can imagine, is not happy about this and sends me to go "hunt" for treats (aka grocery shopping). I decided as I was grocery shopping to pick up two or three cans of cat food. There I was in the cat food aisle at the grocery store reading through all the cat food labels. There was chicken, steak, tuna, seafood feast, liver and giblets, etc. ... all with some type of fancy name. I then realized I had wasted about three minutes trying to pick the "best" flavor. What the hell was I doing! I wasn't eating it, it was for Pookie. Now granted when I open a new can of cat food for the poor, starving, neglected feline that lives in house, I usually put two down at his level and let him "decide" which one he wants. No he doesn't do anything fancy and say, "Gee Jenn I'd really like tuna today." Instead which ever one he sniffs first he gets. And by my unprofessional study, he always picks the one in the right hand. What's up with that I wonder? Maybe my cat's a genius? I am, after all, convinced that his constant, non-stop chattering he does all the time is him trying to tell me he's solved the problem of world peace...now if I could just get a translator.

Now where was I? Oh yes, in the cat food isle. As I was reading the names, and basically wasting time, I realized, at this point one needs to ask themselves the question: who is tasting this cat food to ensure the different flavors, and more importantly that said flavors taste like the advertised label? Someone, some person, must be doing it unless the cat food companies have some genius cats genetically engineered for their opinions on flavor (ohhh a job for Pookie).

Just imagine being the cat food taster guy for a minute. Now image trying to pick up some chick at the bar. The perspective woman says, "So what do you do?" What the hell can this poor guy do? Nothing, except try to put a positive spin on it. "I'm the head food quality inspector for the Fancy Feast cat food corporation."