Hi I'm Jennifer, Queen of Dorkville

Just when I think I'm out from under the dork cloud, I go and do something, well dorky.

Now many of you of my gentle, constant, endangered species also known as my readers, know about the crush. I'm going to be writing a blog about the crush...and given that I'm 99% sure he doesn't read my blog (who would? - oh wait Hi) I feel safe. But I also feel like throwing caution to the wind.

I know what some of you are thinking that I shouldn't do this via this media. That I should tell him, that I should make it known...but alas, I decided last night - while I was cowering in the corner of embarrassment - that fuck it. I like playing the game. Besides, if I actually told him face to face, he'd have the opportunity to break my heart and I just feel bad for people who are in that position. This way if the 1% chance that he does read my blog, maybe he'll find it amusing. Maybe he'll do something about it. Maybe he won't. Maybe this is the prodding he needs. What if...? What if he's just as scared as I am about rejection? And this way, he'd at least know I was interested. I doubt that's the deal...because my life never works that way. But a girl can dream can't she? And please don't send me any messages about how brave I should be and NOT do it this way...blah blah blah...you be brave. I like the view here behind the curtain.

So last night I went to see An Inconvenient Truth. I'll get to my feelings on that movie in a moment.

I was early, as usual, bought the tickets and waited for the crush and my friend Shannon to show up. Both Shannon and the crush are more "earthy" people than I am - I call Shannon my little hippy - and I admire both of them for being that way. I wish I were more "earthy" or at least "earth aware" - which I am now thanks to the movie. But I digress.

At last, they arrived. We all went in, the crush bought a big bag of popcorn, Shannon bought treats and my Diet Coke and I bought, well nothing. I had bought the tickets...

We march upstairs, me in the lead, I follow the reader board to the theater our movie was showing in. Faced with two doors, I choose the door on the right. We find our seats, wait through all the freaking previews and the movie starts. Only, it has Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston in it. Wait? What? I didn't think they were in An.... oh crap...I picked the wrong theater. Smooth, very smooth.

We get UP to leave ...what a dumb ass I am...and walk DIRECTLY next door to the door on the left. I'm starting to get the giggles at this point because its just fucking ridiculous. I never do this. He makes me nervous. I can't help it.

We find our seats - well they weren't "ours" per say...but you know what I mean. We start to settle in. I'm in the middle this time, so I'm supposed to be holding the popcorn (...the person in the middle holds the popcorn - standard movie protocol). I'm "holding" the popcorn, then I proceed to "spill" the popcorn...all over me and the crush and the floor...not the whole bag...just well, some...enough for me to be mortified let's say. He took the bag from me - either to help me or to make a statement that he didn't trust me with the remaining kernels - ... then I got the giggles...I should have never looked at Shannon. The look I gave her was, "I'm such a dork." And her look back was, "You are such a dork."

I don't know if the crush was amused, embarrassed, or just wishing he had stayed home to I don't know - wash his socks...but I was mortified. I HATE the fact that I turn into a bumbling idiot in front of people I like. I'm a mature woman. WHEN will I grow out of that?

So the movie...I can sum it up in two words.

Loved.

It.

I'm not a tree hugger or squirrel petter by any stretch of the imagination. But I have known about global warming, and do believe it exists. In fact I'm shocked at the number of people who think its a not true. I am not naive enough to think that all the data presented in this movie was factual and accurate...BUT...I do believe we have a crisis on our hands. We all see the signs. We all are wondering the same thing, "I don't remember so many storms when I was a child." or "I don't remember it being so like rainy, hot, stormy, etc." And yet we all sit in a shade of denial - well most of us.

The one thing I did take away from the movie is that I can make a difference. I don't have to protest, or make a stink about it. I just have to make smarter decisions. Recyle more, drive a better car, etc. And possibly vote someone into office who will make environmental issues as big of a deal as terrorism.