The forces are all working against me. Everything is pointing in one direction. And I'm doing all I can to go in the other direction. Ignoring the signs. Pretending I don't see them. If I ignore them, they'll go away. As soon as I think they have dissipated, out of no where I get knocked back into the reality.
The reality? That's the realization that one of your best friends, a person you do everything with, a person who has made you laughed and has seen you at your absolute worst....that friend is going to start dating someone. But it wasn't just that part that really hurt. It was the part that this friend has been doing the online dating for months, and never said a word. This person who was my "friend"...said nothing. Is our friendship really that shallow? Did I consider us better friends than he did? Was our friendship more superficial then I wanted to admit to myself? That realization hit me in the gut with such a force it hurt - and - caused me to do something I swore I'd likely not ever do again....I signed up for online dating. Ugh. Maybe I signed up thinking / hoping really that I could move on and not be the last single person standing? Who knows? All I know is I'm in.
There has to be an easier way...but all the signs point there.
I've done online dating before. The excitement, the rejection, the crazy's online, the normal guys who seem to NOT be online...its all so daunting. The rejection was never that bad since you didn't really know any of these guys...but I was stronger then. I hope I'm still that strong.
Day 3 of Online dating and there have been 4 matches made. Three of which I felt were qualified matches. The fourth declined me before I even had a chance to decline him. Bastard! I'm not sure how well this adventure will turn out, because I'm not yet sure I'm into this wholeheartedly. But I'll try.
7 comments:
Ooo! I've been wanting to join. Now I'll have to, because if YOU start dating, I'LL be the last single person on the earth.
Oh never fear. I'm quite sure after this adventure ... I'll still be single. I think its in my blood.
I remember when I was on Match. I knew a lot of other people who were also on Match and they'd get date after date after date! Me? I'd get one date every six months - that's how hopeless I was!
When I met Vic, even though it was on Match, it was completely by accident and that's my philosophy now a'days: that when it does happen it's completely by accident.
Don't lose hope. Accidents happen every day!
As long as that "accident" doesn't involve wetting myself, I'm good.
Oh boy----here we go again! Hang on, I hope it isn't a bumpy ride! But, as usual, I am behind you all the way in your decision....just be careful....
You know, when I first starting talking about joining Match, everybody was telling me it's great and they go on all these dates. Now all I hear is people never finding matches and being really disappointed.
Balls to you, Jenn, for doing it. I don't know if I could take all the rejection
Oh I am not sure I can take the rejection either. I've not heard back from any of the matches...its been, what? two days? Man...this sucks. = )
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