Friday, June 30, 2006

The Bluest skies you've ever seen...

Are in Seattle.... Thank you Perry Como

Hello sun appreciation fans. As promised I am lunch date with the boys of summer (aka The Dudley Manlove Quartet). It was a beautiful 85 degree day to take the afternoon off and wallow in the rays and the sounds of the DMQ. We had our share of freaks out there - present company excluded of course. But keep in mind this afternoon lunch break was in downtown Seattle. And the atmosphere was ripe for the "freaks" to make their appearance...and oh boy did they.

We had a Solid Gold Dancer - leopard suit, gold lamey and all. And we had a man who appeared to not have shaved in this century brandishing rainbow colored scarves and dancing in a very unrhythmic way. Thankfully the majority of the crowd was more normal than that.

Erin and I bogeyed to our favorite Dudley songs. And the boys did an exceptional job of singing their wittle hearts out.

After the show I drug Erin up front to get my photo with Paul. I bravely called out his name and asked if he'd take a photo with me. "Sure," he said and smiled. If only I could be that bold with the crush. Anyhow, he apologized for being sweaty....I, of course, didn't care. After the picture, I introduced myself as Jenn Wraspir. He shook my hand and said, "Ahhhhh, yes, Jenn Wraspir. We know that name well." (See I'm an active participant in all their votes for songs, posting on their website, etc. My email address happens to be jennwraspir@___.com. See the connection?) We continued to chit chat about nothing in particular...hahahahah I jest. We talked about the band!!! I told them that I was glad to see them keeping the band fresh with new songs, and new shows like the Prom. Oh and I mentioned I was borderline stalking them. He laughed and said, one could never have enough stalkers.

All in all it was a successful Dudley experience for me. I might have my "in" into the award for the BEST FAN EVER!

PS - Flat hair in the photo courtesy of no water this morning at the apt and therefore unable to shower....EWWWWW....Paul didn't care. I'm sure he loves me he just doesn't know it.






Just enough time for a quicky...

I don't have much time today except to set your expectations clearly. Today is Friday. It's a beautiful day too. In fact, it's so beautiful I'm going to take a half of the day off. I lose money for doing that, but I don't care....I have bigger fish to fry. I have sun to soak up and I have the boys of summer to play with.

That's right kids. The Dudley Manlove Quartet are putting on a FREE show today at lunch time in downtown Seattle. The Biggest-Dudley-Fan-Ever can't miss this. To see the boys in DAYLIGHT...what the....? Oh god. I was telling a friend of mine yesterday that I finally get to see the boys in clothes. She just raised her right brow and said, "Really?" I wish.

Anyhow, so I'm meeting pal Erin downtown. We'll dance, sing, and take pictures with Dudley. THEN we're off to see The Devil Wears Prada. I'm not a girl who just goes to the movie. I hate how much they charge and I hate most the crap that's out there. BUT there are a few exceptions to this rule...Any Harry Potter movie for one ( a guilty pleasure of mine to be sure), of course any action movie that has Johnny Depp in it....aka Pirates. AND a movie of a book I read TWICE because I thought it was soooooooooo damn funny.

I'll post more tonight after my shenanigans.

PS. I did see the crush last night.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Hell Hath Frozen Over

Its been 7 days and I've not had a diet coke. Not one! I'm not exactly sure why either, that's the interesting part.

Diet coke and coffee are typically running through my veins. Which thankfully living in the Seattle area coffee is readily available. They'll know if you're not from around here if you don't include mega adjectives when ordering: "I'd like a grande skinny half caf half decaf sugar free vanilla latte light on the foam." Or if you order by saying a "large" coffee...we don't speak that language in these parts.

Diet coke and I go way back....WAY back. It's been my non alcoholic drink of choice for years. Not diet pepsi (ew - ick - gross), only diet coke. In fact, when in a restaurant I'll ask if they are a coke or pepsi house. If pepsi, I order an ice tea. If coke, I order a diet coke.

Now where was I going with this? Oh yes, the lack of diet coke in my blood stream.

I started a new "healthy" eating campaign two weeks ago (okay I joined Jenny Craig again...) and because of it I've been focusing on drinking water - which of course has my running to the potty all the time - but that's irrelevant. So somehow between joining JC and drinking water I've stopped drinking diet coke.

Working for Microsquish we get free pop. So naturally the diet coke is available AND we have ice (see the other side of the equation is I hate drinking diet coke straight from the can - so it has to be over ice. If I have to drink a pop from the can, ready for this, I choose diet pepsi. I don't know why. I don't make up these rules in my head. The committee does). I would generally have two diet cokes at work during the day and likely one when I got home ( more accurately I'd have a Black Cherry / Vanilla diet coke - the gods created that for me. Though Diet Coke with Lime follows close to that - though that one goes best with Rum.) But lately, I've had just water at work and water at home.

I'm not saying, at least I don't think so, that I'm disappointed about this. No, rather it's just a general recognition of something changing. Probably for the good, but I suspect it's temporary. Especially now that I've thought about it. Dammit!

Now here's an interesting tangent. I googled Diet Coke for an image and came up with Diet Coke with BACON!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Joke-ity Joke Joke Joke


Happiness is...for today anyhow...


= Sunshine
=Windows down
= 65 MPH
=Jammin Music
=Dancing in my car, singing at the top of my lungs

and

= people in other cars looking at you like you've escaped from the local mental institute.

It's another sunny beautiful day in the great Northwest. I laughed on the way to work because the news guy on the radio station I had flipped too is calling us North LA - due primarily to the nasty air that's out there.

But who cares? It's sunny and I got to drive 65 MPH on the way to work this morning. I have no idea why, but I don't care where every one else was.

Monday, June 26, 2006

I'm Mister Heat Miser...


...I'm Mister Sun. I'm Mister Green Christmas, I'm Mister Hundred and one.

Yes kids, its HOT out there today. Seattle hit 95F today. Which anyone who knows this area is OUT OF THE QUESTION. Now, many of you probably think, "Come on. Buck up!" But keep in mind, because Seattle is not usually this hot (and sunny) that many of us don't have air conditioning....ugh. Me? Well I love the heat. And the best part is it's not humid. Thank god. Our heating trend will continue through the week...and likely be raining on the 4th of July. Go figure. They have a long standing theory here in the NW that summer doesn't start until July 5th...meaning it rains on July 4th.

And in other news....

The Great Yahoo Swami contacted me again today with another look into my future.

A potential romantic interest isn't what they appear. If someone else has some unconscious resistance, the appropriate response is not unrealistic optimism. Slow down and take a clear-eyed look at the situation.

Huh?

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Recipe Swap: Week Two

I've combined my selecting a recipe from the Brandy sniffer every week, with sending that recipe to Ken. I plucked this one on Saturday morning and made it Saturday night. I, of course, made some changes to the recipe - because I can't leave it alone.

Recipe compliments of the Hot BBQ cookbook. I used chicken instead of halibut because halibut wasn't on sale and I wasn't willing to pay the $15.99 a lb. So chicken it was. I only marinated this for 30 minutes. With the citrus acid in it you won't want to marinade - especially fish - for longer. The acid starts the cooking process and you'll end up with dry - well done fish.

Halibut in Lemon-Ginger Marinade
Ingredients:
2 lbs halibut steaks (1 in thick) - this might be good with chicken or salmon if halibut isn't on sale.

Lemon-Ginger Marinade
1T finely minced lemon zest
1/3 C freshly squeezed lemon juice
1/4 C dry white wine or dry vermouth - I used dry vermouth
3 T flavorless cooking oil
2 T thin soy sauce ( I had no idea what this was, but thanks to the inter-web I found out it's just regular old soy sauce. )
1 T Oyster Sauce - I used fish sauce instead and it seemed fine
1/4 Tsp Asian chile sauce or freshly ground black pepper - I used just some hot sauce I had
1/4 C Minced green onions
1 T Very finely minced ginger - for this I used a Rachel Ray trick. I peeled the ginger (about an inch of ginger) then squished it with my knife to release the flavors and stuck it in the marinade. This releases all the ginger flavor without all the mess.
2 cloves garlic, finely minced

Combine all the marinade ingredients. At least 10 minutes but not more than 30 minutes prior to cooking, pour the marinade over the halibut and turn it to evenly coat. Keep refrigerated.

Cook halibut either via grill, broil, bake - however you want.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Prom: The Brian Winter's Project and a Hangover

I know you're all waiting with baited breath to find out how last night's Prom went. Excellent dresses, fun music, and of course a girl crying in the bathroom. Not me…sheesh! That was so 1987!

I want to send a big shout out to the Brian Winter's Project (aka Dudley Manlove - they had to give themselves an 80's mega-band name, creative eh?) for an EXCELLENT show. The boys did a sensational job of 80's tunes...many they have not performed before, but we all knew and loved. Songs like - well 80's (Duran Duran, Go-Go's, Journey - of course, Men Without Hats, Asia, and much much much more). The crowd very much got into the 80's theme. Several prom dresses -that probably should have been burned a long time ago - others just dressed in 80's clothing...and bad 80's clothing.

Me and my court? I bought carnation boutonnieres for the boys, and pink carnations corsages for the girls. Oh and all us girls had tiara's with pink fur. The court was: me - from left to right: Gary, Mike, Nancy, Shannon, Me and Sherrie.

Long time buddy Erin and her crew showed up fashionably dressed. Erin "twisted" my hand into doing a "Slutty Redhead" shot. Not sure what was in that but it was soooo tasty. Quite tasty now that I think back. Other alcohol beverages (which didn't exist at my prom) 5 Stella beers (two at home before I left -had to prefunc!), the Slutte Redhead, and then a Touchdown. Shannon "twisted" my arm for that one (some type of flavored vodka and red bull shot).

Gary, myself and Shannon hanging in the back of the bar before the show.

Kara and her husband Scott were able to come out and join us. Kara is the one responsible for my knowing the DMQ. She drug me out to see them many years ago. She passed the torch of obsession to me...well okay I grabbed the torch from her.
More Photos here.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Which 80's Song are you?

With the Prom fast approaching, I thought it would be fun to do some 80's stuff.

Take this Quiz:
And select "Which 80's Song Fits You"

I was "When Dove's Cry" by Prince. Go figure. Considering every dance I've ever been too has involved crying some how. Why is that? Why in high school do girls cry at dances?

And if you weren't feeling old enough now, the album Purple Rain came out in 1984. Ugh. The song Purple Rain, which haunts me to this day, is the LONGEST song to slow dance too, when you are dancing with some foreign exchange student who smells. (Or is that just my life?). BUT can be the fastest song when dancing with the love of your high school life.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

One more day until Prom

Yes, I get an opportunity to relive a prom. Not just any prom, but one hosted by the boys of Dudley Manlove.

That's right sports fans. Their show tomorrow night will be a prom themed. Not just any prom, no this will be prom from the 80's. Can't wait to see what fantastic songs the boys will have lined up. They are having prom pictures (and I'm bringing my camera), spiked punch, and of course will be crowing a king and queen of the prom. I'm sure many folks will dress up, I will not be one of them. Not only do I not have my prom dress, but even if I had it there's no way I'd fit into it. If I think about it when I get home, I'll see if I can find a photo and scan it in. You likely wouldn't recognize me. What will all the big 80's hair and earrings and all.

But thinking about this prom got me thinking about my prom. My prom was different in that I was at boarding school. All the seniors were invited and were allowed to bring one guest. As it turned out, I brought my best friend Claudia. The crush at the time, Mike Greene, was already going to be there as he was a senior too.

I vaguely remember the bus trip to this glamorous chateau in the hills of Switzerland, and I vaguely remember the dance floor and the balcony. I do remember crying, of course, what girl doesn't cry at a dance? Our prom was the day before our graduation, so it was, for the most part, the last time we'd be spending times with each other. It was sad to let go.

There's a whole lot of us going to the prom tomorrow night. I can't wait. Sherrie, Shannon, Gary, Erin and her Gang, Kara and Scott, and Mike and his date. We'll all be there boogy-ing to the class tunes from Journey, the Go-Go's, Pat Benatar, and more from the 80's.

Here's an eye opener - my senior prom was 19 years ago. Holy Crap! And what exactly is prom? I asked Google and got this answer.

I did a search on prom stuff in google and came up with some funny ass stuff / photos. First off, when did prom dresses become hand me downs from hookers? My god. My parents would have never allowed me to wear some of these fashions (which I'll use that word loosely).

But the best was the Duct Tape Prom Fashion. I shit you not.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

A cat food Story

I made the cardinal mistake and started giving Pookie wet food one day...many many many years ago. Now he thinks every day is "wet food day", aka Treats. So every morning when I walk out of my room, he runs in front of my next step and rubs against the planted leg. I affectionately call this, "God damn it cat" dance. Though he doesn't get wet food every morning, he gets it about well, every other morning, and sometimes twice on the weekend.

So I'm out of "treats" for Pookie. He, as you can imagine, is not happy about this and sends me to go "hunt" for treats (aka grocery shopping). I decided as I was grocery shopping to pick up two or three cans of cat food. There I was in the cat food aisle at the grocery store reading through all the cat food labels. There was chicken, steak, tuna, seafood feast, liver and giblets, etc. ... all with some type of fancy name. I then realized I had wasted about three minutes trying to pick the "best" flavor. What the hell was I doing! I wasn't eating it, it was for Pookie. Now granted when I open a new can of cat food for the poor, starving, neglected feline that lives in house, I usually put two down at his level and let him "decide" which one he wants. No he doesn't do anything fancy and say, "Gee Jenn I'd really like tuna today." Instead which ever one he sniffs first he gets. And by my unprofessional study, he always picks the one in the right hand. What's up with that I wonder? Maybe my cat's a genius? I am, after all, convinced that his constant, non-stop chattering he does all the time is him trying to tell me he's solved the problem of world peace...now if I could just get a translator.

Now where was I? Oh yes, in the cat food isle. As I was reading the names, and basically wasting time, I realized, at this point one needs to ask themselves the question: who is tasting this cat food to ensure the different flavors, and more importantly that said flavors taste like the advertised label? Someone, some person, must be doing it unless the cat food companies have some genius cats genetically engineered for their opinions on flavor (ohhh a job for Pookie).

Just imagine being the cat food taster guy for a minute. Now image trying to pick up some chick at the bar. The perspective woman says, "So what do you do?" What the hell can this poor guy do? Nothing, except try to put a positive spin on it. "I'm the head food quality inspector for the Fancy Feast cat food corporation."

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Etouffe! .... Bless you!

I'm a cook. I like to cook. I read cookbooks. I have a bowl of recipes to try....and as if that wasn't enough, I'm swapping recipes with Ken. Which, I think will be a good thing. Why, you ask? Simple, I pull out of magazines, cookbooks, or where ever the SAME type of recipes. I know what I like and don't like, and I've found I cook basically the same stuff. Rarely stepping outside that very well know box. So recipe swapping with Ken will open that box just a tad.

Enter his first recipe: Crawfish Etouffe.

First, act of business was to look up with the hell "Etouffe" was...according to Ken and webster it's basically a stew.

Second, find out if I can substitute crawfish...ick. I have had the delight of experiencing crawfish when I was in Atlanta SEVERAL years ago. Little bastards...hated them. So I used shrimpees.

CRAWFISH ETOUFFE
1 stick butter
2 cups chopped onions
1 cup chopped celery
1/2 cup chopped green bell peppers
1 pound peeled crawfish tails
2 teaspoons minced garlic
2 bay leaves
1 tablespoon flour
1 cup water
1 teaspoon salt
Pinch of cayenne
2 tablespoons finely chopped parsley
3 tablespoons chopped green onions

In a large saute pan over medium high heat, melt the butter. Add the onions, celery, and bell peppers and saute until the vegetables are wilted. You want to get the veggies all caramelized. Add the crawfish, garlic, and bay leaves and reduce the heat to medium. Cook the crawfish for 10 to 12 minutes, stirring occasionally. Dissolve the flour in the water. You can do this right in the measuring cup but make sure there are no lumps. Mix this in and it'll help thicken the mixture. Season with salt and cayenne. Throw in as much essence as you think you can handle. Stir until the mixture thickens. Stir in the parsley and green onions and continue cooking for 2 minutes. Serve over steamed rice. Garnish with essence and some more parsley and green onions.

*********************************************************
I got home last night after being at the store and promptly started cooking. It was, thankfully, an easy recipe and had techniques and items with which I was familiar. And yet I found myself excited to be trying something I didn't find. Something recommended. I think there in lies one of the reasons it was an excellent meal.

I can't wait for the next recipe. Come on Ken, show me whatchu got!

Two slight changes to the recipe: 1) I didn't have rice so I used bow tie pasta...yum O. 2) I didn't use bell peppers. Dah!

Monday, June 19, 2006

LifeLong Friends...

My long time love of my life, Mike Pomerleau, wrote that to me once in a letter...or in my year book, I can't remember. Either way, I had an opportunity to see another one of the "Mike's" from my past this weekend.

Mike Greene was one of my bestest friends at TASIS. Yes, of course I was in love with him, well as much in "love" as a high school can get. But we were better suited as friends. He and I used to argue of which Washington was the "real Washington. See he lived in DC - which is the fake one of course. He suggested that Washington State is really only good for Apples, Slugs and rain and could therefore not be the "real" Washington. I'll be the good friend and let him "think" he's won...but he hasn't. ( I mean Washington is after all a STATE, while DC is - well - a District of Columbia)

We talked about the old days, who we still kept in touch with, who we could careless if we ever heard from, teachers we liked, school situations, and of course the teasing of significant others we "dated" while in school. We both marveled at how much time had past since those carefree days at TASIS. How I miss the free-ness of that time in my life? How I wish I would have taken more advantage of being in Europe?

I took him to a well know restaurant here in Seattle, Duke's Chowder House. Only then did I learn that Mike wasn't a fish person....huh? What type of person lives in Massachusetts and isn't a fish person? But Duke's, fortunately, had other viddles to be had...AND a Reggea Band playing...which made me feel more like I was in the Caribbean than Seattle. The weather was perfect. Alki - which is where we had dinner - is on the ocean and looks out into the Puget Sound to the San Juan islands. Very picturesque! Alki Beach is the site where the first white settlers landed in Seattle on a cold, stormy day in November of 1851. Chief Seattle and his tribe greeted them - which is who Seattle is named after.

All in all it was great to see him. We've both "aged" and physically changed slightly, probably me more than him - but we are still basically the same. It was funny how easily we just fell back into conversation as if no time had past since we last saw each other - which by the way has been 9 years! Neither one of us could fathom that it's almost been TWENTY years since graduation.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Happy Father's Day, Dad

Dad. Father. Friend.

I can think of a dozen of stories to write about my dad. And more importantly why I love him. Why, even though we disagree a lot, he is still the main man in my life. He taught me about ethics, honesty, integrity, and being one's self. I may not have turned out to be the person he thought, but I know, and have never questioned, that he's proud of me.

When mom and he married, I felt I was blessed to have an opportunity to have this man in my life. I did get to choose at least one of my parents. For Father's Day one year, I got my dad a cup that I, to this day, still feels it explains my relationship with him. It said, "Any man can be a father. But it takes a real man to be a daddy." And that, in a nut shell, is how I feel about him. We've grown apart just by the shear fact that we don't live under the same roof. And when I call, I generally talk to mom. But that never, ever means, I don't love him more today then I did the day he adopted me and took me in as his own. He jokes that he married mom so he could have me as his daughter.

When I was young, before being around your parents and showing affection was embarrassing, dad would frequently dance with me. The song? A song, that to this day I still get all teary eyed when I hear it. Some day he will dance with me at my wedding to this song. And if that never happens, I am glad I got to dance with him ever.

To you dad:
I don't believe in superstars,
Organic food and foreign cars.
I don't believe the price of gold;
The certainty of growing old.
That right is right and left is wrong,
That north and south can't get along.
That east is east and west is west.
And being first is always best.

But I believe in love.
I believe in babies.
I believe in Mom and Dad.
And I believe in you.

Well, I don't believe that heaven waits,
For only those who congregate.
I like to think of God as love:
He's down below,
He's up above.
He's watching people everywhere.
He knows who does and doesn't care
.And I'm an ordinary man,
Sometimes I wonder who I am.

But I believe in love.
I believe in music.
I believe in magic.
And I believe in you.

Well, I know with all my certainty,
What's going on with you and me, Is a good thing.
It's true, I believe in you.

I don't believe virginity,
Is as common as it used to be.
In working days and sleeping nights,
That black is black and white is white.
That Superman and Robin Hood,
Are still alive in Hollywood.
That gasoline's in short supply,
The rising cost of getting by.

But I believe in love.
I believe in old folks.
I believe in children.
I believe in you.
But I believe in love.
I believe in babies.
I believe in Mom and Dad.
And I believe in you.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Hi I'm Jennifer, Queen of Dorkville

Just when I think I'm out from under the dork cloud, I go and do something, well dorky.

Now many of you of my gentle, constant, endangered species also known as my readers, know about the crush. I'm going to be writing a blog about the crush...and given that I'm 99% sure he doesn't read my blog (who would? - oh wait Hi) I feel safe. But I also feel like throwing caution to the wind.

I know what some of you are thinking that I shouldn't do this via this media. That I should tell him, that I should make it known...but alas, I decided last night - while I was cowering in the corner of embarrassment - that fuck it. I like playing the game. Besides, if I actually told him face to face, he'd have the opportunity to break my heart and I just feel bad for people who are in that position. This way if the 1% chance that he does read my blog, maybe he'll find it amusing. Maybe he'll do something about it. Maybe he won't. Maybe this is the prodding he needs. What if...? What if he's just as scared as I am about rejection? And this way, he'd at least know I was interested. I doubt that's the deal...because my life never works that way. But a girl can dream can't she? And please don't send me any messages about how brave I should be and NOT do it this way...blah blah blah...you be brave. I like the view here behind the curtain.

So last night I went to see An Inconvenient Truth. I'll get to my feelings on that movie in a moment.

I was early, as usual, bought the tickets and waited for the crush and my friend Shannon to show up. Both Shannon and the crush are more "earthy" people than I am - I call Shannon my little hippy - and I admire both of them for being that way. I wish I were more "earthy" or at least "earth aware" - which I am now thanks to the movie. But I digress.

At last, they arrived. We all went in, the crush bought a big bag of popcorn, Shannon bought treats and my Diet Coke and I bought, well nothing. I had bought the tickets...

We march upstairs, me in the lead, I follow the reader board to the theater our movie was showing in. Faced with two doors, I choose the door on the right. We find our seats, wait through all the freaking previews and the movie starts. Only, it has Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston in it. Wait? What? I didn't think they were in An.... oh crap...I picked the wrong theater. Smooth, very smooth.

We get UP to leave ...what a dumb ass I am...and walk DIRECTLY next door to the door on the left. I'm starting to get the giggles at this point because its just fucking ridiculous. I never do this. He makes me nervous. I can't help it.

We find our seats - well they weren't "ours" per say...but you know what I mean. We start to settle in. I'm in the middle this time, so I'm supposed to be holding the popcorn (...the person in the middle holds the popcorn - standard movie protocol). I'm "holding" the popcorn, then I proceed to "spill" the popcorn...all over me and the crush and the floor...not the whole bag...just well, some...enough for me to be mortified let's say. He took the bag from me - either to help me or to make a statement that he didn't trust me with the remaining kernels - ... then I got the giggles...I should have never looked at Shannon. The look I gave her was, "I'm such a dork." And her look back was, "You are such a dork."

I don't know if the crush was amused, embarrassed, or just wishing he had stayed home to I don't know - wash his socks...but I was mortified. I HATE the fact that I turn into a bumbling idiot in front of people I like. I'm a mature woman. WHEN will I grow out of that?

So the movie...I can sum it up in two words.

Loved.

It.

I'm not a tree hugger or squirrel petter by any stretch of the imagination. But I have known about global warming, and do believe it exists. In fact I'm shocked at the number of people who think its a not true. I am not naive enough to think that all the data presented in this movie was factual and accurate...BUT...I do believe we have a crisis on our hands. We all see the signs. We all are wondering the same thing, "I don't remember so many storms when I was a child." or "I don't remember it being so like rainy, hot, stormy, etc." And yet we all sit in a shade of denial - well most of us.

The one thing I did take away from the movie is that I can make a difference. I don't have to protest, or make a stink about it. I just have to make smarter decisions. Recyle more, drive a better car, etc. And possibly vote someone into office who will make environmental issues as big of a deal as terrorism.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Tat - A - Too

I sashayed, or stumbled depending on how you look at it, into a conversation with two 20 something girls discussing getting a tattoo on her lower back this morning.

Here's the story.

I was standing in line in Starbucks - der like where else would I stand in line for 15 minutes? Two 20 something ish girls were standing behind me. I knew they were 20 something because every other word was like - well like. Like, this guy, um like, totally checked out, like my ass. (And for the record, like when did "like" become so popular?) 20-Something-Girl #1, we'll call her Fluffy, commented to 20-Something Girl #2 (we'll call her Fiffy) that she wants to get a tat.

Fiffy said that would be like totally cool. What would she get and where?

This is where I enter the conversation. Sometimes, my filter that tells me to NOT say things out loud, doesn't work. Or its delayed for some reason. Could be the two beers on an empty stomach last night...

Now, if you know me, picture me for a moment. 5'7" Marilyn Monroe build (with 50 extra lbs...or 60 extra). Gorgeous, or course. Dressed professionally. Well groomed hair and nails. You get the picture (Stop laughing mom). So I say - out loud - "I'm thinking about getting a tattoo (not really, but this is how the story goes). I think it would be kick ass to get one of those small-of-your-back tattoos just above my ass. Yeah, you know the kind, the Stamp Tramp. And my tattoo would simply say: I regret this. But maybe in Chinese characters."

I just gotta say it was totally worth having the filter off for the looks on Fluffy and Fiffy. I could see them imagining seeing the small of my back and a tattoo there...of course they would have to look just above the thong that would be showing....Ewwwww. Then they were completely confused. They had no idea what the hell I was or what I was talking about.

The next thing that happened completely cracked me up. The two - after stopping mid sentence to look at me like I was a circus freak - went back to their conversation, as if I hadn't said a word. They didn't comment to me. They didn't blink. Nothing.

Like, what the hell is up with that?

This should keep you busy

So I was tagged from a high school friend of mine to come up with 100 things about myself. I told her that in no way, shape, or form, could I come up with 100 things (notice she didn't say interesting things) about myself. I'm not that deep.

It has taken me a week to do it, but alas, here are 100 things about me you will now know and will probably hold against me for the rest of the time we know each other.

1. I am “officially” the youngest. Though I have a younger “half/part time” sister who is a friend who adopted my parents and so considers herself the youngest.

2. And as the “official” youngest, I am therefore the best.

3. My Sun is in Capricorn and my moon is in Taurus - which means that I have the coolest, most exciting main sign. And all my stubbornness is from the Taurus.

4. I really, REALLY, really don’t like bees.

5. I love cooking. I love everything about cooking. I have a brandy sniffer that contains about 500 recipes. I pick one each week to try.

6. I have a secret crush on Don Quixote. I love that story. My former cars all had the license plate DULCNEA on it for Dulcinea. Who was DQs secret princess. Dulcinea means sweetness in Spanish. Because I’m sweet. Now, if you know the story, you know that Dulcinea was actually a bar tramp. You decide, quietly, which one I really am.

7. Ethnically – I think I’m Heinz 57.

8. I have an enormous scar on my left wrist from a cat scratch when I was like in 5th grade or something.

9. When I was in 4th grade I made three wishes. I wished on them every day. All three came true.

10. My secret goal is to open a coffee shop somewhere – someday and be the lead barista.

11. I’ve played volleyball for 15 years. I was good, but never going to be the best.

12. I went to a boarding school in Switzerland - TASIS. Several friends I made back then I still keep in contact with. It was, by far, the most amazing experience.

13. I have driven, and I will drive again a Mustang. Next Mustang will be a 2005 or later, Black Convertible. Just you wait and see.

14. I adore my parents.

15. I adore my cat, PookieSnackenBurger. He’s my buddy. He’s a nutcase. And if the theory that pets are like their owners is true, then Pookie could be the poster child.

16. I spent 5 days in the critical care area of a hospital due to several blood clots in my lungs. Thanks to birth control and thick blood.

17. Because of #16 I will never be able to use hormone replacement therapy when I hit that time in a woman’s life when she has her own personal summers. (aka Menopause).

18. When I was younger, I used to sing…a lot. My friends and I used to sing in front of the church congregation on a regular basis. To this day I can’t imagine how I got in front of all those people and sang.

19. Now I sing mostly in my car, all the time and LOUDLY.

20. I can’t count how many first, second, or third cousins I have. We have an enormous family. We joke that we don’t have a family tree, we have a family hedge.

21. I have an irrational fear of being in water in which I can’t see the bottom. For example, you won’t find me floating on a smooth lake. I’m sure there are dead bodies at the bottom and they’ll resurface in time to drag me down.

22. I have lived in 25 different places in my life. I’m only 37.

23. I’ve never broken any bones in my body. Knock on wood!

24. I was the only freshmen in history, at the time, to march with the rifle team at the high school I had attended, Antelope Valley High School. I was good at rifles. It was easy for me to pick up and learn. I had many a bruises to prove it.
25. I was later to be Captain of the Quartz Hill Rifle team – The rival high school across town.

26. I was on Banner for Jr. High. I was so proud to be on banner too. We got to wear these really cool Indian head dresses. They weighed a ton. We were the Warriors.

27. I’ve been in two car accidents. One was my fault. The other totaled my Mustang.

28. I have good hair. My hair will do anything I want it to. It’s my favorite body feature.

29. I hate my feet. But love my eyes.

30. Little Mermaid is my favorite movie.

31. Followed closely by Beauty and the Beast and Lion King.

32. I watch the food channel probably 80% of the time I watch TV. Rachel Ray is my hero.

33. I love to quote movies, but am bad at remembering which movie I knew the quote from. Often I’ll be watching a movie and hear the quote and think, “Ah hah. That’s where it’s from.” Then I promptly forget. I marvel at people who can remember stuff like that.

34. I scrapbook. I have 19 scrapbooks that I’ve done since 1998. I have an entire room dedicated to my hobby. I’ve probably, easily, spent $10K in scrapbook materials, tools, etc. And that’s a low estimate. I am almost completely up to date – as in all my childhood, high school, college, etc are done. I’ve done several books for friends and family for gifts.

35. Se habla espanol? I used to be fluent. Now it takes a little to get me going. Alcohol usually helps.

36. I’ve lived in Saudi Arabia, Mexico and Switzerland. I’ve toured through Italy, France, Spain, and Germany.

37. I was an exchange student in Guadalajara, Mexico in 1990. I still keep in touch with the family I lived with as well as my roommate who lived with us.

38. I have an irrational fear of death. Not of dying. But just the thought that it’s permanent and what if I haven’t done everything I’ve wanted to before then.

39. Which leads me to be always eager to do, and go, and see everything I can. Especially on vacation. I don’t usually relax on vacations.

40. Hawaii is my favorite vacation destination that doesn’t require a passport. The Big Island is my fave, followed by Kauai.

41. In 2nd Grade I got a piece of tissue stuffed in my mouth from the teacher for talking too much. Go figure.

42. In 3rd Grade I went to 4 different schools: Morningside, Low (or Lowel I can’t remember), Longfellow, and Sacajaweah. All in Great Falls, Montana. To say we moved a lot is an understatement.

43. I beat Dana Yamaguchi (4 time winner) in a spelling bee in 6th grade.

44. You won’t EVER find me traipsing around in a locker room naked. I was glad to see the gym put in changing stalls.

45. I am a coffee-aholic. I love drinking coffee. Starbucks is my favorite, followed by Tully’s. In fact, my like of coffee sometimes crosses over to that “almost addicted” arena.

46. I usually have two coffees a day. One from the latte stand on my way to work and one from the Starbucks café in my building at work. I drink Grande Vanilla Americano’s with room. Then I put in 3 Raw Sugar packs and half N Half. The stronger the coffee the better the consistency with sugar and half and half. Every afternoon you can find me walking down to our Starbucks café at work and buying myself a coffee. 3pm on the nose.

47. My favorite person who’s no longer with us is my Grandmother Spaid. I so loved her and I miss her every day. She was deaf and I always marveled at how solid and strong she was. She is one person I would never, ever cross. She had a mean streak…but in a loving way, which I think she transferred to my mother. Which probably means I have it.

48. I have three older step brothers.

49. I love the fact that I never write checks. I pay everything online. Rent being the one exception, but that’s because of the timeframe it takes to get the check to the rent office. Otherwise, I’d pay it online too.

50. I frequently wonder how we ever survived without email or instant messenger. I’m more in touch with my friends around the world now then I ever have been.

51. I harbor a secret fantasy to one day run into a past boss who made my life a living hell, and be the client, and have him bow to me.

52. I hate bell peppers. All colors, all shades, all of them.

53. In my next life I think I will be a professional organizer. I’m super duper UBER organized. Just ask anyone who knows me. And I’m full of advice on how to be organized.

54. I have a million pet peeves. I couldn’t even begin to explain all of them. But the most peevish has to be the inconsiderate drivers on the roads these days. Or people who cut in line at Starbucks and think because they’re in a hurry its okay. Or parents who don’t pay attention to their kids who are running all over the restaurant screaming. Or people who don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom.

55. Jenny has never been a nickname of mine. EVER. Only a few special people have ever been allowed to call me Jenny. And they “get to” because I’m afraid of them.

56. I hate being called “mam”.

57. I love celebrating my birthday. I think birthdays are the greatest reason to celebrate one’s life. Each year I try to come up with something fun and different to do. I usually fail miserably at that, but if nothing else we go to dinner and celebrate in style.

58. I love having my birthday right after Christmas.

59. I have 4 nephews, four nieces, and a great niece.

60. I am a Professional Project Manager (PMP). I love all things project management, and in a geeky / nerdy sort of way. I have a zillion books on the subject and read constantly about PM work and leadership stuff.

61. The person who got me into blogging is married to a good friend of mine. He and I are friends now and we’ve never met.

62. I’ve been fired from a scrapbook store. Can you believe it?

63. At one time in my life I had three jobs.

64. I happen to really like my first name.

65. I love to BBQ. I get that from my dad. He’s the master of BBQ’ing. His specialty is BBQ ribs. I used to joke, well only half way joke, that his BBQ ribs were my dowry.

66. I’m way too sarcastic at times. And I never understand people who don’t get sarcasm.

67. I hate giving presentations to people who are smarter to me. I don’t mind so much getting up and talking to people whom I believe I am “training”. But if it’s a room full of people whom I’ve already thought are smarter than me, I just get all nervous and dry mouth…and well I hate it.

68. I have a sixth sense. My mom has it. My sister has it. My grandma Spaid had it. It’s been a guide for me in my life. I’ve gone to psychics who have stated that they can read me openly because I have such a strong psychic feeling. You think I’m crazy. I knew you were gonna think that. See? Psychic.

69. I’ve been so drunk once in my life that there wasn’t likely blood running through my veins, but alcohol. By all standards, I probably should be dead. It’s the reason I can’t even think about tequila today.

70. I never used to get hang overs in college. I could drink ALL the boys (and girls) under the table. I was the MASTER at quarters. Now that I’m past 30, recovering from too much drink takes too long. The last time I got really drunk was my 30th birthday. It took 3 days to recover.

71. I get obsessed with series shows on Netflix. Once I start watching some series, I can’t rest until its done. I’ve gone through Queer as Folk, Sex in the City, 6 Feet Under, Smallville, most recently Angel and soon Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Gilmore Girls is hovering as the next after Buffy.

72. Most of my heartbreaks have been named Mike. It appears to be a cursed name for me. My mom warns me against them regularly. Any time a new guy comes into my world, her first question is, “His name isn’t Mike, is it?” But now I have a crush on a non-Mike fellow. Wish me luck.

73. I write everything down on a calendar. I can’t remember shit. So if it’s not on my calendar, it doesn’t get done and or remembered.

74. Some day I want to live in Tucson. I love the dry heat the desert offers. And I love the fact that when I spell desert I have to stop and think if its “desert” or “dessert”. Then I remember “desserts” is stressed backwards.

75. The only person, besides my mom, who knows me WAY too much, is Sherrie. I’d have to buy both of them off if I ever decide to run for office.

76. Pet Peeve #11900: Drama. I hate people who build and expect drama.

77. I’m a vice president to a project management association. One that’s been failing miserably. We’ve re-org’ed recently and now I’m officially the “Chairwoman” and I’m determined to make something of this association. It’s my baby and I’m going to see it through to success.

78. When I was in high school me and one of my many Mike’s promised that if by the time we were 40 we weren’t married, we’d marry each other so we wouldn’t die alone. I’ve since made that commitment to two other men. All three…married. And further more, when we were in high school I laugh at the idea of how OLD we thought 40 was. And now sitting on the downward slope to 40, it doesn’t feel so old.

79. My mom is my best friend.

80. The first 45 record I ever bought was “Heart of Glass” By Blondie. The first CD I ever bought was C&C Music Factory. I remember when MTV first launched. I remember watching “Video Killed the Radio Star” as the first video. Thinking all the while that this video thing was kinda cool. Never imagining that MTV would cease to actually play videos.

81. Pet Peeve #658890: People who instant message you to call them.

82. My period is called “Aunt Flow”. She’s been Aunt Flow for as long as I can remember. I’m sure I wasn’t creative enough to come up with that, but there you have it. She visits regularly. On time and usually with little or no problems.

83. My biggest guilty pleasure is watching Survivor and Apprentice. I love those two shows. Though Survivor tends to get to me, and I usually start thinking I don’t need to watch it, but I keep on it anyhow. And recently Hell’s Kitchen.

84. I wish I had an accent. I think accents are very cool. With the exception of a deep south accent. Texan accent is okay. Alabama accent…not so okay.

85. I have a not-so-secret crush on the lead singer of Dudley Manlove.

86. Growing up we always had dogs. And usually excellent dogs. Even today my folks have amazing dogs.

87. When I was in Jr. High, my dad moved my entire bed out to the front lawn on a day I didn’t make my bed. I came home to find it perfectly made, and in the front lawn.

88. I rarely leave the house without makeup.

89. I am a very self aware person. I spend hours delving into me. Searching to figure out what makes me tick, what I can do to make me better, how can I improve. It’s tiring. But it’s worth it.

90. I’m a part time photographer. I love to take pictures of flowers and nature stuff. People and candid’s I’ve never been good at.

91. I collect flamingos. Not normal flamingos. They have to be a bit different in order to make my collection.

92. I have over 500 recipes in my recipe database. I’m geeky enough to have it reference-able and cross reference-able.

93. I had a HUGE crush on Shawn Cassidy growing up. I begged my mother to buy me a Satin jacket that had an image of Shawn Cassidy’s head on the back. I cried the day I out grew it.

94. I have struggled my entire life with weight. When I was a child I wasn’t over-weight, but I know in elementary school I was never “as small” as the other girls. But, I am very content with the person I am, so my weight doesn’t seem to bother me. Which it should.

95. I get a Yahoo Horror-scope every day and only keep the ones I like.

96. I can tell you most family and friend’s birthdays without hesitation. I have an odd ability to remember dates and numbers.

97. When I was in college I made up the perfect guy. His name is Jack. I had everything about him made up. His eye color, height, weight, job, education, family background. The whole works. I often wonder if I ever meet anyone named Jack if I’m going to automatically assume he’ll be marrying me.

98. I love the college football. I love watching it, going to games, whatever. I’m a Pac-10 Girl. Rooting for the Washington State Cougs first, then the Huskies, then any other Pac10 team BESIDES Oregon or USC…hate those two schools.

99. I’m a Diet Coke girl. If I have a choice I would pick Diet Coke to drink over anything else. Especially their recent Diet Black Cherry Vanilla coke. If it came to choosing to drink out of a can, I’d pick Diet Pepsi. For some reason Diet Coke in the can doesn’t taste as good. It has to be over ice. But Diet Pepsi out of the can seems to be okay. Though I’d usually have a coffee over that.

100. I love having a blog. I don’t even care if anyone reads it. Though I am glad that people do. I’ve been told by a few friends that they read it fast because that’s how I would say it. And I can’t believe you read these 100 factoids about me. You win a prize! (official game rules to be posted whenever I want)

Monday, June 12, 2006

Recipe Swap for the Masses

Most of you who know me well know I love to cook. I haven't figured out yet if its a gift or a curse. I would say most my friends think its a gift, but that sounds some what egotistical. But ask them, they'll tell you? I'm a damn good cook. (And if they don't tell you that tell me who it was and I'll "cook" something special for them.)

For about 2 years now I've picked a new recipe out of this enormous recipe Brandy sniffer I have to make each week. I'm not 100% with trying the new recipe each week since things always happen and you get out of a routine...anyhow. I do love to try new recipes.

Enter Ken. Ken, I've never met. I've only known him through blog land and that he's fortunate enough to be married to one of my good friends, Vicky. Ken is a cooker too. I can't say that means he's "hot" because I've never met him. I'll let Vicky chime in on that one.

Knowing that I have 1000+ recipes in the bowl, you would think I have enough to go on for a long, long LONG time. But instead, I suggested to Ken that we do are recipe swap. And so we are.

This week we'll be sending our recipes off to the other to try. Then next week we try them and send feedback/comments. It should be an absolute gas. I can't wait.

Now the real "fun" part comes in that we'll be posting our recipes that we send to our blogs. Feel free to try them yourselves and tell us what you think. You won't hurt my feelings...unless of course you eat the one I cook and say it tastes like crap. Then we'll have to talk. And don't worry about difficulty. 99% of my recipes are of the 30 minute meal type. Rachel Ray is my hero and so I generally cook a lot of her stuff. And, I am not patient when it comes to cooking, so anything that takes an extraordinarily large amount of effort or time, may not ever grace my table.

Check out Ken's Recipe - He'll be posting it later today.

Here's what I sent to Ken. I used it this weekend to feed Shannon and Gary dinner. Both seemed to be overly stuffed when they left, so that's a good sign.

Chicken with Mustard Mascarpone Marsala Sauce
Recipe courtesy Giada De Laurentiis
Yield: 4 to 6 servings

1 1/2 pounds boneless skinless chicken breasts, each breast cut crosswise into 3 pieces (I just cut the chicken into cubes usually)
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons olive oil
5 tablespoons butter, divided - See my note at the bottom about this
3/4 cup chopped onion ( I use a whole small onion)
1 pound cremini mushrooms, sliced (I generally quarter them instead of slice them, they hold up better when cooking)
2 tablespoons minced garlic - Yah right, just 2 T...I don't think so. I use 3 med cloves minced
1 cup dry Marsala wine (if you can't find Marsala wine, use a dry white. If you don't cook with wine, use chicken broth or stock)
1 cup (8 ounces) mascarpone cheese
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons chopped fresh Italian parsley leaves
12 ounces dried fettuccine

Sprinkle the chicken with salt and pepper. Heat the oil in a heavy large skillet over high heat. Add the chicken and cook just until brown, about 4 minutes per side. Transfer the chicken to a plate and cool slightly.

While the chicken cools, melt 2 tablespoons of butter to the same skillet over medium-high heat, then add the onion and saute until tender, about 2 minutes.
Add the mushrooms and garlic and saute until the mushrooms are tender and the juices evaporate, about 12 minutes.
Add the wine and simmer until it is reduced by half, about 4 minutes.
Stir in the mascarpone and mustard.
Cut the chicken breasts crosswise into 1/3-inch-thick slices.
Return the chicken and any accumulated juices to the skillet.
Simmer, uncovered, over medium-low heat until the chicken is just cooked through and the sauce thickens slightly, about 2 minutes.
Stir in the chopped parsley. Season the sauce, to taste, with salt and pepper.

Meanwhile, bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the fettuccine and cook until al dente, stirring occasionally, about 8 minutes. Drain. Toss the fettuccine with 3 tablespoons of butter and season, to taste, with salt and pepper. Swirl the fettuccine onto serving plates. Spoon the chicken mixture over top. Garnish with parsley sprigs and serve.

So I never toss the fettuccine with the butter. I generally toss it with the entire chicken, mushroom sauce thing, and put it all in one bowl.

Happy Cooking! Oh and I'd cut it in half if its just for you or two other people I made this whole recipe this weekend without cutting it in half, and even with Shannon and Gary and I making good work at this meal, I still have enough for 3 meals as left overs.

Funny blogger spell checker suggestion: For fettuccine blogger spell checker recommended beautician. I, personally, wouldn't recommend cooking up beauticians, but whatever.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Blond Moment

I'm not sure why I feel obligated to actually tell people when I do stupid stuff, other than half the time its funny. And today is not exception.

I have/had internet cable. But fortunately someone in my area has a wireless router that they are not securing. So I'm hopping on that. Today I figured I'd cancel my internet cable.

I got online, found the number and dialed. I sat on hold for 15 minutes. Which isn't surprising these days. I get to the customer representative and explain to him, we'll call him Carl, that I wanted to disconnect my internet cable. His response was silence. I said, "Hello?" He quietly stated, "Mam, you've called Verizon. We don't have cable internet in your area. You'll need to call Comcast."

DOH!

Of course .. Comcast. I'm a dumbass.

I called Comcast, didn't' wait online and disconnected my brain AND my internet cable.

Happy Friday!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Catch a falling star...

This blog will be a status update. Its come to my attention that I've left a few things hanging lately. A few friends, who won't be mentioned, suggested that I follow up on a few stories as they are dying to hear how they've turned out. Let's start with the last thing first.

1. The Bangs
Okay, I might have exaggerated a wee bit in my earlier blog. While they do, in fact, look like a 5 year old who's mother got happy with the scissors. They are "hide-able". I have not received any snickers, guffaws, or "Oh My God what have you done?" comments in at least a day. And if I did receive such snickers and guffaws, I assure you they weren't because of my hair.

2. The Crush
Recently I've had more interaction with the crush then I ever thought possible. This pleases me. I like getting to know him. I'm still a bit baffled about why now is he talking to me more. But I won't question such fateful items. My pal Vicky suggested that he can smell that I'm out there online. That perhaps because I am not 100% focused on him and stalking him, that perhaps he can sense that and is therefore paying attention. Perhaps? Maybe? Either way, I like the way that sounds and am going to keep down current path.

3. Online Dating
What a bunch of crap! First I have to say that the rejection part of online dating, I thought, might, bother me. But now that I've had 20 "matches" (and I'll use that term loosely) and 13 of them have closed the match without even finding out more, I just figured it’s their loss. I do find it quite amusing that these men are closing a match by using the online comment of "I don't feel any chemistry here." Interesting. Through the internet you can feel chemistry? Through reading a persons profile you can "feel chemistry"? Okay. If they are that shallow and that closed minded, move along little doggies. [Perhaps its necessary to explain that eHarmony sets it up so that there is no actual communication between matches at first. They send you the match and you have the option of closing the match by sending a pre-canned response, of which there are a dozen or so. Or you can send the match a set of questions, also pre-canned, for the male match to respond to.] Yah, none of the matches have answered my questions. 13 have closed with the pre-canned "chemistry" comment and the rest are duds.

On a plus side, I did leave one match open because he's H-O-T! My officemate and I have checked out his photo frequently. He's WAY out of my league (no I'm not selling myself short. Sometimes you just know. It’s like he's Brad Pitt and I'm, well, I'm me. Yah outta my league).

4. Crankiness.
I am happy to report that my bout of cranky-it is, I think, is gone for now. I'd love to blame it on what everyone else blamed it on...PMS, but I knew that wasn't the issue. But I think for now its taken a temporary vacation and is gathering steam to rear its ugly head again. I'll be ready this time. No more surprise attacks. I'm wise to its game.

5. Great Yahoo Swami predictions
Remember my horror-scope I got from Yahoo. The one about my personal orchard of romance blossoming...you think that me joining the online thing was the 21st century way of "blossoming"? Recent horror-scopes have included such foresights like: Don't use a new brush and Don't be cranky.

Ta for now

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

I'm not making this shit up...

Yo...wha'happen?

I must now tell you a tale so horrifying; I feel I must warn you about continuing. Even now, after hearing it and experiencing it, I still shiver at the thought.

It was a beautiful June morning. The sun seemed extraordinarily bright as it rose over the horizon to start the day. All seemed at peace. All seemed right.

Nothing had changed about her morning routine. The same old, roll over, check the clock and pet the cat that was sitting on her chest. Her lovely cat. He was the light of her eye some days. He made her laugh and woke her religiously every morning.

Hopping out of bed, fully rested, she begins the rest of her routine. In the shower, brushing teeth, feed the chattering cat, etc. All seemed right. That is up until she began the last leg of her otherwise normal routine. The blow drying.

She'd been blowing her hair for years now. Nothing new really, and certainly nothing new this morning. Except the new brush. Her hair dresser had recommended this new fangled brush that was supposed to add body and help curl the tendrils under. She proceeded using her normal technique. Wait...what? What's this? The ... Brush... is... stuck...

Oh this wasn’t' right. She knew immediately that something terrible had transpired and that she'd surely be paying the piper for this mess. With each move of the brush, she made it worse. Defeated, she stood there, gazing at her reflection weighing her options. She could leave the brush, but that would take some explaining. Calling 911 was an option, but this really wasn't an emergency - and what if it were cute EMTs that came to her rescue...surely she'd not want to look like this. This thing staring back from her. The matted mess of hair so tangled that only a surgeon could get it out.

Scissors! Oh yes, she has scissors. She can cut it out. Wait, she's certainly no Vidal Sassoon. But she knew she had to do it. There was no other answer. She'd cut her bangs before, this couldn't be that difficult.

She methodically checked all her drawers for the right pair of scissors. She couldn't use kitchen shears as they would likely lop off her entire head. When alas, the little tiny scissors gleamed with a warm welcome that only a person who's new hair brush was stuck in her hair could appreciate.

With each snip she just new this was going to be her ruin. She almost cried remembering the last time she cut her own bangs. How would she explain this? How was she going to face her friends with this new - um - look? Oh the pain. The agony. The embarrassment.

When the last of the snipping ended, she looked wishfully at her reflection. The brush was removed without any harm coming to the bristles of the brush. And yet, her beautiful locks looked, well they look like a freaking 5 year old cut them.

Her lovely brush now lay unwanted in the trash encased with mounds of beautiful snarled hair.

She knew what she had to do. She had to face the music and go to work. And she'd tell this tale to anyone who listened, or anyone who noticed her microscopic bangs. And she'd warn them about THE BRUSH.

The End.

Coming to a theater near you.
Produced by: Vidal Sassoon
Executive Producer: PookieSnackenBurger (aka Pookie)
Lead: Jenn "Short Bangs"Wraspir
Extras: Shiny Scissors, Misc 4 Letter words, useless brush, and the blow dryer.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Who's that guy?

The forces are all working against me. Everything is pointing in one direction. And I'm doing all I can to go in the other direction. Ignoring the signs. Pretending I don't see them. If I ignore them, they'll go away. As soon as I think they have dissipated, out of no where I get knocked back into the reality.

The reality? That's the realization that one of your best friends, a person you do everything with, a person who has made you laughed and has seen you at your absolute worst....that friend is going to start dating someone. But it wasn't just that part that really hurt. It was the part that this friend has been doing the online dating for months, and never said a word. This person who was my "friend"...said nothing. Is our friendship really that shallow? Did I consider us better friends than he did? Was our friendship more superficial then I wanted to admit to myself? That realization hit me in the gut with such a force it hurt - and - caused me to do something I swore I'd likely not ever do again....I signed up for online dating. Ugh. Maybe I signed up thinking / hoping really that I could move on and not be the last single person standing? Who knows? All I know is I'm in.

There has to be an easier way...but all the signs point there.

I've done online dating before. The excitement, the rejection, the crazy's online, the normal guys who seem to NOT be online...its all so daunting. The rejection was never that bad since you didn't really know any of these guys...but I was stronger then. I hope I'm still that strong.

Day 3 of Online dating and there have been 4 matches made. Three of which I felt were qualified matches. The fourth declined me before I even had a chance to decline him. Bastard! I'm not sure how well this adventure will turn out, because I'm not yet sure I'm into this wholeheartedly. But I'll try.

Friday, June 02, 2006

"Deep within a forest, at the summit of a volcano...

... exists an extraordinary world - a world where something else is possible. A world called Varekai."

Oh man...if you've never had the privilege to experience any of the Cirque du Soleil performances, you are truly missing out.

Last night I witnessed the spectacle that is Verakai. I've been fortunate enough to see many of the Cirque shows...and as I see each one I think its better than the last. More extraordinary stunts, better costuming, better music...etc. But the truth is, they are all spectacular in their own way. Each one telling a tale that is both mystical and brilliant.

As with each Cirque du Soleil show I've seen (Alegria, Mystere - twice, Saltimbanco and Dralion) I was transported into a world where humans defy gravity and people live without bones in their bodies (how else could they be so bendy?). I watch in state of amazement as the fantastical stories unfold in front of me. I sit, transfixed, and watch as the mysterious creatures dressed in extraordinary costumes dance across the stage. I listen to the magical music and find myself hypnotized into a trance of bliss that is Cirque du Soleil.

Each time I get the same sensations and thoughts. My senses are overwhelmed by the strength and spectacle that is displayed. While my thoughts go to, "How the hell does someone learn to do that?"

If you ever get a chance...go see one of them. You won't be disappointed. Its worth the $$.