Friday, November 17, 2006

We're on a road to no where...come on along.

I wonder.

I wonder why our lives are so full of experiences, good and bad, and yet we mostly carry the bad with us every waking hour. What does it take to break away from past experiences to witness something with clear eyes? Start fresh. Do people who lose their memory get to start fresh? Or are we predestined, even then, to experience the same and carry the baggage with us?

Its possible I may have been wrong about something. I know. I know. Shocking that I might be wrong, but stranger things have happened. But this possibility got me to thinking is is possible that I reacted a certain way because past experiences influenced my perception and automatically created an outcome?

I was reading an article earlier today that made me start thinking about our past experiences and how they influence our every day life. George Miller, a Princeton Professor of Psychology, stated our dilemma in communication best when he said, "Most of our failures in understanding one another have less to do with what is said and what is heard than with what is intended and what is inferred." So basically, whenever we observe another's behaviour, whenever we hear words being spoken, whenever we get information through any of our five senses, our brains work immediately to draw some conclusion about what was meant or intended. Our minds use this information to find meaning from these experiences. It fills in the gaps.

Let's take for example a scenario. Let's say you have a friend. That friend starts dating someone and suddenly you are pushed to the side lines and feel as if you are no longer good enough or worthy enough, because say you're single, to be part of their "in" crowd. And let's say that you have, in the past on several occasions, experienced heart wrenching situations in which you were kicked to the side by other friends who suddenly find themselves involved. Is it possible that your past experiences clouded your judgment about a recent friend whom you feel has abandoned you?

Is it possible I could have been wrong? Is it possible that my mind, based on previous situations just assumed or concluded the outcome of this relationship too? Could it be that I misread all the communication? Could I be the source of my own pain?

2 comments:

Nicki said...

My teacher in business communications says the only message that counts is how it's perceived.

It actually makes sense.

Anonymous said...

Yup
You are the source of your pain.
Every time.
Shit happens. But it doesn't happen TO you. It just happens.