Great Swami.... I will do your bidding.

Oh great Swami that is Yahoo. Please tell me my plight? Relate to me that which is my future.

I sit and wait patiently for your guidance.

I sit.

And I wait.

And I'm patient. (well sorta)

Then, when I think I can wait no more, I recieve the enlightened notification that I have received new email. That alas, the Great Swami has seen it fit to guide me. To show me the clear and righteous path. Oh glory day!

I rush to see...and there in my sad, lonely in-box is the Great Swami of Yahoo's latest incantation.

Do I dare open it? Will it contain the secrets of my life? Will it contain a map of the path of which I should be seeking?

I slowly hover my mouse over the message, frightened to see what perils it may contain.

Finally, conjuring enough bravery I open thee.

And there...in blue and white Tahoma font I see my path. I see what ...

Wait?

What?

The hell you say....

WTF?

Yahoo Horoscope: Your personal orchard of romance is blossoming. Folks are hopping the picket fence to smell your romantic blossoms! Delicious!

HuH?

I'm pretty sure my "orchard" blossomed some time ago.

Oh god! What if it is just blossoming?

"Folks" hopping? I want to see some MEN hopping over my "picket fence". Wait! I don't have a picket fence. Oh crap...they'll be no hopping...

"Smell my romantic Blossoms"? Exactly what do "romantic blossoms" smell like? Wait, don't answer that.

Damn Great Yahoo Swami.

Delete!