Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Warning Labels

I think people should come with warning labels. Seriously. If you saw their "warning label" you would know how to proceed when talking with them.

For instance, ever had one of those friends who's 10 minute story turns into like 40 and you never really get to the point? Exactly. If said friend had a warning label that said, oh say "Danger. No point ahead." you'd know to prepare yourself. And/or learn to take seriously large amounts of drugs prior to seeing friend.

Or say for instance you had a friend who at any given moment could jump emotions on you without warning. You know the type...the moody ones or aka bi-polar. If said friend had a warning label that said, "Caution - talking to this person may result in uncertain and unexplainable emotional leaps ahead" - you'd be able to prepare yourself.

Or say you have a friend who angers easily when discussing Republicans and HE's A republican. In this case, a simple dunce cap should suffice...but still, you'd be warned.

Or what about that aggressive driver on the road...if he had a warning sign you'd know not to cut him off and risk being shot.

Or an agry boss, a scorned lover, a neglected friend...the list could go on. I'm just saying.....

You know you have some...think of some creative Warning Labels and post a comment.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Happy Cranky Friday

Grrrr...!!!

!@#$%^&* !@#$%^&* !@#$%^&* !@#$%^&* !@#$%^&* !@#$%^&* !@#$%^&*

!@#$%^&* !@#$%^&* !@#$%^&* !@#$%^&* !@#$%^&* !@#$%^&* !@#$%^&*

Why? Why does the Friday before a three day weekend have to be one that is causing me great amounts of crankiness?

It all started last night when Sh*tKicker Shannon bailed on me. I was totally bummed. I know she didn't do it to piss me off - she had her reasons, but I was disappointed. And rightfully so. I had been waiting all month to see my boy Paul (aka. Lead singer of Dudley Manlove of whom I'm in love with. And considering the last Dudley show we left after the first set). Clearly not enough Dudley Calories in one month. But alas, she bailed. So I did what any normal, warm blooded woman would do.

I went shopping. (I know you were all thinking I went drinking huh?)

Only, to add more coal to my already burning fire, I left my debit card at home. ARGH!!! I had swapped out purses and all I had was the cash for the night and my Drivers License. To steal a word from the Patron Saint of Smartmouths...Fuckity!

On the plus side, I was still frustrated enough that I went home and cleaned. That's at least a good point.

THEN the neighbors upstairs, who are generally quiet, must have been climbing atop a 6 foot ladder and jumping off. Or had invited an elephant into their apartment. I laid in bed trying to figure of if they were fighting, or wrestling, or just being loud. I'm sure alcohol was involved (we've all been there...you know you have) and I'm sure they didn't realize they were being as loud as they were. And I'm VERY sure they didn't realize they had a very cranky person down stairs who was in srious need for beauty sleep.

Fast forward to today

...ever had one of those days when the first mail you open sends you into a tail spin of pissy-ness? Yah...that would be this morning.

I cannot say whether it was residual from last nights visit to Cranky Town or not...but man...I am all sorts of bent out of shape this morning.

Side bar: When I was in high school I used to write in a journal. I did it primarily because I wanted to record my memories, doings, etc. I was an early blogger without the blog capability. Many years later I was rereading my "blog" / "journal" and found a day in which I wrote, "Today was such a bad day. I can't even write about it. I don't want to remember." And it worked...I can't remember what I was so pissed about. Of course that was almost 20 years ago...but I'm just saying.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Growing Pains

I don't much remember having growing pains when I was a kid, but I vaguely remember parents (not necessarily mine) talking about there being pain when kids grow. I think I must have been a late bloomer - again - in that regards. Because here I am in my 30's and I'm still growing. Will it ever stop?

Let me catch you up.
About 3 years ago my cousin Sherrie was diagnosed with breast cancer. The realization of something that scary happening to someone my age shocked me into taking a good long look at my life.

Since that time, I've done a tremendous amount of growing (emotionally not physically, peanut gallery).

Most of my growth has been with respect to how I handle myself in a professional environment. And further, what I wanted to be when I grew up. Many of you know I'm a PMP (not a PiMP but a Project Management Professional). I studied long and hard to take that professional exam and ended up passing with what I thought to be a stellar grade. And I'm convinced I have found my calling.

My former company "The one that shall not be named", didn't appreciate me. I worked hard there. I proved myself time and again there. There is where I learned to be underappreciated for my talents. I was dedicated to the success of them. Each time I would try to promote myself into the project management world, or to show them I was a valueable resource I'd be slapped back down. But never getting a full explanation as to why. Eventually I was beat. I was running low on self esteem, low on self worth, and certainly low on motivation. I've never in my life felt as low about myself as when I worked there. And I promise you this, I learned a lot because of it. I will never allow myself to be in that situation again. So I guess I could thank them.

I swore when I left that company that I would never look back. I felt betrayed by a company who promised me great things, then one by one took them away from me. They taught me a crucial lesson: Only I can be responsible for my career and growth. And only I can allow someone to make me feel as low as I felt.

I was 100% certian I would move on into a role in which I could potentially send business their direction, but as I walked out the doors of Catalysis I swore I would not.

Yet I find myself at a crossroads this very morning. I could either hold the grudge and not suggest the company that shall not be named, or I could grow a little and put that grudge to rest. I chose the higher road.

I'm not looking for kudos for choosing the higher road, because I, personally, think that should be the road chosen each time. It should be the standard rather than the exception. But it took my friend Shannon (Sh*tKicker Shannon - with whom I'll be spending quality Sh*tKicker time with tonight) to point out to me that in fact, I had made a significant advancement in my growth. Her message to me touched me greatly and I want to share it with you all.

Shannon wrote:
"I'm SO proud of you. One of my saddest moments of you leaving is hearing you say you'd never send a project our way, I was sad for Catalysis, sad for me (since if this place goes under I'm unemployed), and MOST OF ALL sad for you and how beat down you had been by this place and the people here because you deserved more. Seems like the healing process has begun and maybe you'll eventually be able to remember what brought you here in the first place and kept you here and so loyal for so long. There had to be SOMETHING. You're such a great woman Jenn, I'm VERY proud of who you are and the things you do."

Morale of the story: Even when you least expect it, growth happens. If we open our eyes to the potential of growth, what could we truly be? I heard a quote once, and may have shared it in this blog, "If we change the way we see things, the things we see change."

And for this, I think I deserve Sainthood.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Great Swami.... I will do your bidding.

Oh great Swami that is Yahoo. Please tell me my plight? Relate to me that which is my future.

I sit and wait patiently for your guidance.

I sit.

And I wait.

And I'm patient. (well sorta)

Then, when I think I can wait no more, I recieve the enlightened notification that I have received new email. That alas, the Great Swami has seen it fit to guide me. To show me the clear and righteous path. Oh glory day!

I rush to see...and there in my sad, lonely in-box is the Great Swami of Yahoo's latest incantation.

Do I dare open it? Will it contain the secrets of my life? Will it contain a map of the path of which I should be seeking?

I slowly hover my mouse over the message, frightened to see what perils it may contain.

Finally, conjuring enough bravery I open thee.

And there...in blue and white Tahoma font I see my path. I see what ...

Wait?

What?

The hell you say....

WTF?

Yahoo Horoscope: Your personal orchard of romance is blossoming. Folks are hopping the picket fence to smell your romantic blossoms! Delicious!

HuH?

I'm pretty sure my "orchard" blossomed some time ago.

Oh god! What if it is just blossoming?

"Folks" hopping? I want to see some MEN hopping over my "picket fence". Wait! I don't have a picket fence. Oh crap...they'll be no hopping...

"Smell my romantic Blossoms"? Exactly what do "romantic blossoms" smell like? Wait, don't answer that.

Damn Great Yahoo Swami.

Delete!

Two-fer

One of my many guilty pleasures (and no I'm not writing about the others because my mom reads this) is filling out random surveys that friends send to me. You know the ones, "Tell your friends all about you because if they don't already know this shit then why are they your friends"...yah those surveys.

Well today I logged into my myspace account. Not only was I excited to see my best pal from high school Laura added me as a friend...(I feel so special), but I had this survey from Catalysis co worker Shannon - not to be confused with my Sh*tKicker side Kick Shannon who helped me paint.

Okay, but you asked for it... oh and did I mention I rarely answer these without a little sarcasm. That is my middle name you know....Jennifer Sarcastic Joy to Be Around Wraspir.

TWO SURVEY: If you read it, you have to do it.
Two Names You Go By:
1. Jenn
2. Hey You

Two Parts of Your Heritage:
1. Heinz 57
2. Martian

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Nail Polish
2. Bra - snuggly

Two Things You Would Want in a Relationship:
1. Humor
2. A man - a real one that is...no more fake blow up types.

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. Cooking
2. Eating

Two Things You Want Really Badly At The Moment:
1. The Crush (name to be withheld since he doesn't know he's the crush yet and may be reading this blog)
2. A convertible Mustang

Two pets you had/have:
1. PookieSnackenBurger (Lord and Master of the house, aka the Cat)
2. Sylvester (Former Lord and Master of the house, Cat)

Two people who will fill this out:
1. Oh God...Mom?
2. Fellow bloggers who feel the urge

Two things you did last night:
1. Watched my Love...Angel Season 2
2. Chatted online with [name withheld to protect the innocent]

Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. My place
2. The Rock Brewery

Two People that live in your house:
1. Pookie
2. The Committee (Aka the voices)

Two things you ate today:
1. Coffee
2. Coffee - its only 9:30am

Two people you Last Talked To:
1. Coworker (Ken C)
2. Carpool Partner

Two Things You're doing tomorrow:
1. Pining over Angel
2. Obsessing over Crush

Two longest car rides:
1. Seattle to Odessa
2. New Jersey to Albuquerque - As a kid - Though mom would say trip from Quartz Hill California to Seattle in 1986 since I made her listen to Careless Whispers about a thousands time while I cried over Mike Pomerleau. (Mike if you're reading this...smooches)

Two Favorite Holidays:
1. My Birthday - It should be a holiday
2. Random ones where you still get a day off work (like whatever one is coming up next week!) Yah...I agree

Monday, May 22, 2006

Which Princess Bride Character are you?

Okay, random I know. But it started becasue I was looking for a quote from the movie...something about a foul plot is afoot...anyhow. That led me to Google, which led me to some - how do I say this - interesting sites.

And this was one of them.

http://paradox.of.arden.tripod.com/quiz/princess/

Which Princess Bride Character are You?

Do write back and tell me which you were?
Best Quote of the whole movie:
"Stop rhyming now, I mean it."
"Any one want a peanut?"

Amusing Quick Antidote ...

So one thing I forgot to mention in my previous blog is the story behind Moron #1 at local gas station.

Saturday I decided to be proactive and actually fill my propane tank up with gas BEFORE the meats on the barbie and we run out (which is typically my M.O.). So off I go. There are three gas stations less than a quarter mile from my house. All with propane.

First two stations - can't fill propane until after noon. Huh? Is there some law in Lynnwood? Neither offered an explanation, so I went off searching.

Station 3 - Out of Propane. Huh?

Finally at Station 4 we get propane. Unfortunately Moron #1 offers to fill it. I guess you need some special license or something. He didn't say.

This story isn't about the propane as much as it is about bees. We all know that I HATE BEES. One sad bee found its way into my truck whilst Moron #1 (We'll get to why he's a moron in a bit) was filling my propane. I hopped into the truck, saw the bee, and made a beeline (pun intended) out of the truck. Moron #1 asked what was up. I explained the bee and my hatred for them.

Moron #1 got into the truck - GRABBED THE BEE WITH HIS BARE HAND and threw it out of the truck. His response, and I quote, "Sum' bitch. That there bee bit me."

Aside from the obvious that bees sting and don't bite....Thus you see why I've named him Moron #1. Luckily my filter for random outbusts was on and I thought instead of said,"Well no shit Moron, you grabbed it with your hand. What did you expect the bee to do?"

Instead I responded with, "Thank god he bit you instead of me."

Dumbass!

Vini Vidi Vici...daVinci

What is this world coming to? I swear just when I get a glimpse that perhaps we are all starting to get along, WHAM. Out of no where comes chaos and craziness fueled by the media. Ug!

If you've not read the book The DaVinci Code, I highly recommend it. I read it when it came out and loved it. I took it for what it was worth...FICTION! Its a book for heaven's sake. No where in the book does Dan Brown "claim" that anything he's writing about is real. He especially doesn't claim that his fictional creation of the story line is real.

Yet, we have religious zealots standing outside the movie theaters claiming all sorts of persucution to anyone who enters and watches this movie. Wait! Did I miss something? When did Christianity become and evil, god fearing cult? Regardless, I cannot for the life of me figure out what all the "hoo la la" is about this movie. ITS A MOVIE PEOPLE! FAKE! AS IN MADE UP! AS IN F-I-C-T-I-O-N!!!!

Here's my stance on this. I believe in God. I don't go to church. I question religion all the time because I was raised to ask questions. I don't think there's ONE God. I don't think that it even matters what YOU call your God. I think a person's "spirituality" says a lot more about them then their religion. I've known many of fine people who never attended church, but I never questioned their spirituality. I believe in God, but I'm okay with someone believing in another version of a god. I've been around the world and have been blessed with being able to see many types/forms of religion. I don't agree with all of them, but who am I to judge? If the Bible says, "Those without sin - caste the first stone." I certainly know I'm not first in line to judge anyone and their beliefs. And I'm quite sure the nut cases outside the theater aren't either. But I digress.

What I cannot figure out is if the biggest issue these folks have is that the movie is blasphomous - is it? If I am not catholic or any religion and I choose to see another persons perspective - is that blasphemy? I think not. It might be to some, but if your belief isn't in their god or their religion, is it?

And what of faith? Are these "faithful" so not faithful that they are concerned that a fictional movie will change their faith? Or perhaps suggest to others less faithful that the Catholic church and the foundation that religion is built on could be a lie? Then were they faithful at all? If something a simple as a movie can waver you and your belief system, shouldn't you be spending more time thinking about that belief system then condemning the rest of us for wanting to watch a FICTIONAL movie?

Did I mention that the DaVinci Code was FICTIONAL?

I hope I don't offend anyone who reads this, if I do, then you need to get thicker skin. I am all for people believing what they want to believe. That's the foundation of religion. I also believe there should be tolerance and acceptance of the other beliefs. I can't condemn another person because they choose to be Catholic any more than I can condemn someone for being Jewish. It's their choice. It's their right to have faith in something they believe to be good for them. I believe freedom of religion is one of our fundamental freedoms here in the US. (See the Constitution if you're confused on that point).

I categorize movies into 4 categories
1. Must see on big screen (paying full price is possible)
2. Mattinee only
3. Netflix only
4. Oh dear god I can't believe they wasted $$ on that.

The DaVince code is a solid 2. Its worth seeing, but may not be worth full price. The show outside the movie is definitly worth seeing - in fact, I'm surprised someone hasn't thought about selling tickets to watch the fireworks outside the theater between people.

**************************
Topic Switch
**************************
I spent approximately 8 hours this weekend with the current love of my life...Angel. Season one is complete and I'm well on my way into season 2. I just love him!

Saturday night I had a somewhat last minute BBQ. Mike, Gary, and Sherrie all came over to feast on Huli Huli chicken kebabs. I was, however, somewhat confused at the fact that my sticks burnt. The Food Channel told me - and if the food channel says it, its true - that if you let your sticks soak in water for a bit before you put the food on them, the sticks won't burn. My sticks burnt. Each kebab at one point had their own personal fire going on. Of course it couldn't be my BBQ technique. Of course not. I was taught by the "Master". (In case you haven't heard of this "Master" - he's also know as my dad).

My theme for this BBQ started out as Hawaiian and then went with a slight hint of Mid Eastern considering Kebabs are from the Middle East. So we had:
Pineapple - of course
Blue Hawaiians (Thanks for bringing that Gary - they were delish)
Saudi Coolers ("Traditional" Saudi drink that I think us Americans made up while we were there. Effectively Orange Juice, Applie Juice, Grennadine - and if you are in Saudi you stop there, but in the US you add Vodka)
Huli Huli chicken kebabs with vegi kebabs
Cous Cous with Quick Preserved Lemon
Tomato/Cuc/Asparagus/Feta/Kalamata Olive salad with a Lemon Vinigarette
And for dessert we had Berry Parfaits. I MADE - for the first time ever - my own whipped cream. Oh man, I'm full just thinking about how much food we had.
Oh and I had some Lime/Garlic Shrimps I threw on the barbie.

BURP!

Friday, May 19, 2006

My God - What have I done?

I think I've mentioned a couple of times in my blog, that while I'm not the Queen of Technical assistance. I can generally "get by" on common sense and experience when technical matters confront me. Most programs I've worked with are intuitive and any moron who's worked on a computer can usually work their way through.

I have met my nemesis...iTunes/iPod

Remember how I've told you about my virus (on the computer not MY virus). Well, I solved that problem by getting a new computer with Mom's gracious assistance (though she's having the bill sent to me. I'm not sure what that means...). Last night I spent three hours trying to move my music off the one computer to the other.

With the help of a some research a friend found for me (Thanks Gary!) I thought I had a plan. I read the directions which said, and I quote, "To synch your iPod with iTunes, plug in your iPod."
Check.

A message appears asking if I'd like to synch my libraryies. That means TWO, right? So in my mind the committee (that's what I call the voices) thought, "Great. That'll synch my iPod library to my iTunes library" So we said Yes. And now...drum roll please...We have ONE song on my iPod. One song!

It totally synched my empty Library to my iPod. THEN I finished reading the directions.

Did I mention I'm technically challenged? I think I have that male gene. You know the one? The one where they don't read directions. Yah. I've got that one.

The directions continue to basically explain that the iTunes library over-rules the iPod one.

Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!

So I got smart. I thought. (No comments from the peanut gallery please). I tried transferring the songs via jump drive. It worked. ONLY if the jump drive was actually attached to the computer would the songs play. After 450 songs being transferred I decided to test them...and THAT's when I discovered it would only work if they were on the jump drive.

I tried to copy / paste them. I tried to Import them. I tried to convert them. No not to Catholism but to Windows media files instead of iTune files - though if being Catholic would help at this point....I'd give. It wins.

Calgon take me away!

Does ANYONE out there know how this can be done? I dread the idea of sitting on a customer service call with some guy from India who's name is "Sam". The biggest problem is I can't get iTunes opened on the OLD computer. I think if I could I'd be fine because then I could BURN the songs...

Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!

So I'll spend the weekend listening to my ONE song on my iPod...over. And over. And over. And over. And over. And over. And over. And over. And over. And over. And over. And over. And over. Again. It give stuck song syndrom a whole new meaning.

*******
Side Bar: Spell check for Blogger wanted to replace iPod with "wiped". HOW FUNNY IS THAT? Or is that ironic?

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Thanks to a geeky friend...who shall remain nameless...no its not one of the "committee".

Hey Mom, do you have $19,995 bucks I can borrow to buy this cool new toy. Its not the Mustang convertable I want, but I think I can do some damage during my commute.

Can I have my stapler back?

"They moved my desk 4 times already this year and I used to be over by the window and I could see the squirrels and they were married, but then they moved my desk and they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler."

Who doesn't love the movie Office Space? If you've seen the movie you know the character Milton who has this issue with his red Boston Stapler and he's very particular about it.

About 5 days ago, my very own Swingline Stapler went missing. I have been, for 5 days now, commenting and complaining, both under my breath and out loud to my office mate, that someone stole my stapler. It pissed me off. Microsoft has a HUGE office supply business here and getting a new stapler isn't that big of deal. So why am I complain you ask?

Well MY stapler is special. It was "borrowed" from said company my first time around in the late 1990's and has been at my side ever since. Gleefully stapling massive amounts of papers together and never once complaining about its job. Its relatively small but useful stapler. And the point isn't that I can easily go get a new one, it was that someone came into my office and TOOK my stapler without bringing it back.

Now anyone who knows me knows I am very capable of kicking a dead horse until its -er - ah - dead. Anyhow...as I've said, I've been bitching (with humor of course) about this damn stapler. Yesterday I was sitting at my desk, and I was commenting to someone about it. He pointed to my monitor stand and asked if that was the "missing" stapler.

Hmmm? I don't remember being so organized as to put it there?

And then I remembered...I remembered putting it there to get it out of my way when reviewing legal papers oh about 5 days ago.

So here I was carrying on like some prom queen that had been stood up by her date, and the damn stapler was right in front of me the entire time. I'm such a dork. A fun loving, amusing, constantly doing stupid things like this... dork! But a dork none the less.

Now where'd I put my car keys?

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Vaudeville or Bust!

For the past two days I've been participating in our partner summit here in Seattle. It's a conference in which we invited our product partners to come and learn about our next version and all its fantastic features. We include extra activities as well, and held the conference on the water front at the Bell Harbor. It sits right on Puget Sound and we were fortunate enough to have TWO 80 degree and higher days in Seattle. Which is perfect considering our "swag" were really nice wind breakers...of course. Had we not ordered them and ordered, oh I don't know, sun block, it would have rained.

Two days of "participating". My participation was more on the lines of helping my office mate run the conference. She's the event planner and is a DAMN good one. She had things covered for this conference I didn't even know existed. I, being the social-talkative type, helped her at the main information/registration desk. It included getting people in the door, handing out FANTASTIC swag (gifts for non Microsoftee types), and chatting up all the men. Our partners are about 90% men. You'd think I'd be content with that...but ... these are techy guys... nough said.

I did actually get some work in too in that I got several opportunities to discuss Customer Experience with our partners (see, being that I'm the "Customer Experience Manager" I thought it might do me and the company some good).

Anyhow, last night we all descended into a bowl of bliss. Monica, office mate/event planner extraordinaire, arranged for all 150 of us to attend Teatro ZinZanni. From their web page, "Teatro ZinZanni is a big night out unlike any other, a three-hour whirlwind of international cirque, comedy and cabaret artists all served up with a five course feast designed by celebrated Northwest chef Tom Douglas."

And feast it was. The show was amusing and entertaining, the food was excellent. Its an expensive evening out to be sure, which is why I'm glad it was on the dime of this small software company in Redmond (aka Microsoft).

We got our faces painted and drank the most fantastic cosmos around. Just to make your mouth water, I thought I'd provide you with the menu of last night.


First Course
Tibetan Vegetable Samosas
with Homemade Cucumber Pickles and Tomato Ginger Chutney

Second Course
Creamy Carrot Soup
With Honey Cardamom Yogurt and Cracked Back Pepper

Third Course
Poached Prawns
Nestled on a bed of Arugula and Asparagus
Drizzled with a Delicate Coconut Vinaigrette and
Sprinkled with Curry-Dusted Cashews

Main Course
Tandoori Chickenon a Bed of Rice Pilaf, drizzled with Coriander
Yogurt and Surrounded by Snap Peas, Yellow Squash and Fennel
~or~
Fresh Halibut
Served with a Fragrant Red Curry Sauce on a
Bed of Rice Pilaf with Snap Peas, Yellow Squash and Fennel
( this is what I had - Oh. My. God was it good. I expected this WildOily flavor, and yet it was glorious and YUMMY! Which is the technical term for Good God Man that's damn good fish!)

Dessert
Chocolate Bananas Foster
Rich Chocolate Almond Cake topped with Sweet Banana
Rum Créme Brulee and Surrounded by Milk Chocolate Mousse
BURP!

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Happy Mother's Day

I've been thinking today about writing a blog about my mom. What would I say about her? How could I write about this woman who is my best friend? So I called on my old pal the Internet. Surely some better writer has a mom like mine.

I can say this, I am the person I am today because of my mom. She's my best friend and the person who still to this day helps guide me through this thing called life. So for making me the person I am, thank you mom.


AS I LOOK BACK...
As I look back on my lifeI find myself wondering...Did I remember to thank you for all that you have done for me?

For all of the times you were by my side to help me celebrate my successes and accept my defeats?

Or for teaching me the value of hard work, good judgement, courage, and honesty?

I wonder if I've ever thanked you for the simple things...The laughter, smiles, and quiet times we've shared?

If I have forgotten to express my gratitude for any of these things,I am thanking you now...and I am hoping that you've known all along, how very much you are loved and appreciated.

~Author Unknown~


Lock 'er down

Remember a couple of weeks ago when I locked myself out of my car? The karma world must have cursed me at that point. Only it was delayed...apparently.

It seems since I've injured my back (which, btw is 100X better-thanks for asking) my mind has taken a brief vacation. I'd blame the muscle relaxants, except I only take them at night...now unless I can conjure up an explanation that there's a residual effect. Which I suspect logically may be the cause. But I'm sticking to the curse idea.

Oh yes, the point. Let's get to that. Now stay with me on this one. There are several elements that lead to perhaps an explanation as to why I'm leaving things to unlock. You're welcome to come up with an excellent explanation if you'd like. I seem to have been unable to lock things that normally should be locked. I.e. front door, sliding door, and of course the car.

I have about $10,000 worth of Columbia Wind Breakers in the back of my car. Now granted they are branded with "Microsoft Speech Server" but still, they're nice. I have them in the car because our Partner Summit is Monday and Tuesday and I have the biggest car in our team, so I'm transporting them. They've been in my car since Thursday night. EACH night I've left the car unlocked. I-KID-YOU-NOT!!! My officemate would kill me if she knew...they are, after all, her jackets.

Friday was a successful Cocktail Party. This cocktail party theme was a "Surprise Activity from Microsoft". Basically inviting all my friends up, bribing them with Salmon and cocktails to help Monica and I stuff 200 binders with 9 different PowerPoint decks. Monica and I got to my place at 3pm on Friday and got started. As soon as we opened the decks we found that 5 of the 9 were printed incorrectly. After several expletives we got a solution going for those, and she and I started with the remaining three. I, being the eternal hostess, made a vat of cosmopolitans - but with rum. And we got started. By the time said slave labor showed, Monica and I were done. Not only were we done with the binders, but we were relatively "done" if you get my drift. We'd been drinking since 3 and it was 7 or so.

My point to that story was that we transported the binders into my apt through my sliding glass door. Now stay with me.

Yesterday I spent the day stuffing the binders with the remaining 5 decks that were delivered Friday night at/about 10PM. I decided to BBQ last night for dinner, so headed to the grocery store. When I got back from the grocery store, I realized - the moment my key hit the door and did nothing - that I had left my front door unlocked. I had to laughed despite myself.

Then as I went to the back slider I realized it was unlocked. Laughing that it had been unlocked since Friday. Only, now here's the funny part to me. Today - being Sunday - I popped open my slider to let the beautiful sunshiny weather in (yes its sunny and yes I'm still in Seattle - its a rare day to be sure) and my slider was unlocked AGAIN. Ugh.

For most of us, locking our cars, houses, etc is like putting on underwear - assuming of course you wear underwear and if you don't, please don't share that with me.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Anyone got any percocet?

Just kidding...well sorta.

The back pain persists...YES I went to the doctor, mom. Sheesh! Though today its MUCH better thanks to the wonder of drugs. Methocabonal to be exact. Dr. Prescribed methocarbonal and acetaminophen combo for me. I took one last night and man did I feel good. Not happy, high good, just relaxed and somewhat pain free good.

I ended up on the floor trying to pick up some dirty clothes that didn't get washed this weekend. Only I couldn't "bend" over to pick them up. So gingerly I made my way to the floor - my initial thought was I was going to die there because I'd never get back up. But while there I was on my knees I stretched my arms out in front of me, put my head on the floor (imagine a cat stretching) and S-T-R-E-T-C-H-E-D!!!! Oh my, it felt so good. I must have lost track of time because my cat ended up sleeping on my hands that were out stretched. I'm sure he was thinking it was about time I bowed to him.

Anyhow, the drugs provided significant relief for me to sleep well. Getting up this morning was easier, moving is easier, sitting is easier...etc. All in all, I think I'm on the mend.

I do want to think "everyone" for their advice. Some of you, and you know who you are, should NEVER EVER become doctors or provide advice to me again. Freaks! And I call you my friends. Hah. But others of you have provided very useful tips that I'm sure is helping in my recovery. The best recommendation by far was from my friend - who shall remain nameless so I don't embarrass him - was for me to put a toothpick in my mouth, whistle dixie while standing on one foot hopping, and holding a bowling ball in one hand. And who, you ask, is on drugs? The most useful advice, given to me by a couple of you, has been to keep moving. Though a few of you said to not move at all...which is confusing. So I opted for the keep moving advice...now on my "trips to pee" I go the long route, usually get lost (if you've never been in a building on Microsoft campus - stop laughing - they are extremely confusing and maze like.) eventually finding a bathroom. So moving I got down.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

How much is too much...

Ibuprofen? So Microsoft is a wonderful place in that they have these medicine cabinets FULL of drugs for just about any ailment. They have these fabulous ibutabs. I've taken - since 9:30 this morning, 9 tablets.

I happened to look down at the packet and realized each tablet (there are two in the packet) are 200mg of ibuprofen. Yah - I see you're seeing what I saw. If I've taken 9 that means - 1800 mg of ibuprofen are in my system. AND MY FREAKING BACK STILL HURTS!!!!

How much is too much I wonder?

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

OWWWEEEEE!!!!!

Without a doubt, I'm the biggest baby when it comes to pain. I don't handle it well. And I'm not talking about casual pain...well - okay - I am. There is no good pain. I don't think I've always been like that. I think that pain distracts me from my greater purpose (whatever that is at the time) and it slows me down, which bugs me. I've known people who have had to manage serious pain and do it without any complaining or commenting about it. I mean, having a baby for example, may be out of the question if I can't have drugs.

Today's pain is unbearable.

I am having back spasms. A sharp, unnecessary pain shooting through my body with every breath I take. I was fine yesterday morning, then about lunch, getting up from my desk chair I just about passed out from the pain. It hurt enormously. And back pain, I think, is the worse. Your back is in every motion you make....argh.

Whimpering, walking like an old old lady I managed to get to the kitchen to grab some ibuprofen. That didn't work. As the yesterday progressed, every time I got up from the chair, my breath caught from the pain.

Now, I know I don't like pain...and that sometimes I might exaggerate a wee bit about the "pain". But this time, I ain't. Sleeping was surprisingly unpainful - might have something to do with the Tylenol PM, but more to that sleeping on my side doesn't hurt.

Getting up this morning didn't really hurt - it did, but not like the "real" pain that has grip of me now. I'm supposed to be having a cocktail party on Friday night...if the pain stays maybe the alcohol will help it.

Monday, May 08, 2006

The pain of beauty & the agony of de feet

Today I got my nails done and a pedicure. EVERYONE says pedicures are so relaxing and enjoyable...um... NOT. I suspect "those" people aren't as tickleish as I am when it comes to the feet. Just thinking about someone touching my feet gives me the willies. So for the sake of beautiful feet I went kicking and screaming (pardon the pun) into the salon for the ritual. It seems so inviting. The tub full of warm bubbling water. Little jets massaging away your stress. That part is nice. And the chair... oh the chair of sainthood. Heated and massaging as my feet are being brought back to beauty. But then they start on the feet. First they pull one from the warm girgling water and start their process of torture. The little gal, Lee, also does my nails and it amused her greatly how I jerk and giggle during the entire episode. She suggests that I need to get more pedicures in order to not be so tickleisn...uh huh, right.

So while my feet are beautiful and toes nicely painted (that and my painted nails are my girly characteristics). And, aftersall, it is summer and a girl wearing sandals MUST have painted toes.
As I was sitting anxiously getting my feet beautified I noticed a woman next to me. She was well put together and clearly thought herself important. She talked on the phone almost the entire time. He tone of voice toward Lily (the gal doing her pedicur) just about undid me. She was rude and condescending. Clearly she thought Lily belonged in a lower caste than herself. I was even more astonished to see how polite Lily was to her. I'm not sure I would have been that nice. I likely would have taken that razor thing they use on the callous spots and took her entire little toe off. Which is probably why its good I'm not in that type of service business.

While I chatted away with Lee, Lily suffered on with the feet of Miss Condescending. She and Lee chatted back and forth every now and then in their language - vietnamese - and I half wondered if they were chatting and laughing about Miss Condescending. Apparently their banter was bothering Miss Condescending as she kept interrupting them asking how much longer. I swear Lily went extra slow to annoy her.

I vaguely remember a show, I think it was Sex in the City, in which there was a discussion about this unspoken "caste" system. Every nail salon I've ever been in has been owned and operated by Vietnamese folks. The ones I've been to are all hard workers, friendly, and knowledgeable. I've never thought about them as being in a lower caste. But clearly Miss Condescending does. Too bad really, because I doubt she realizes she's in a lower caste than someone else...

I'M A STAR!!!

I just got this from the Dudley Manlove Quartet myspace site. First, you've got to read this. Its a critic that was at the show on Friday and she describes the atmosphere excellently. I've been watching Dudley since circa 1997 - and she hit the nail on the head about how the show goes.

As you read through the blog, there's a spot to Watch this Video. Click on it. You'll see the guys on the stage eventually. From where the video is shot - facing the stage - if you look to the RIGHT of the keyboardist, you'll see this classy chick in a v-neck shirt, briefly... - THAT'S ME. Im about 20 seconds into it. See how close I was? See why I love these guys? The Fanalyst was in front of me most the night and I wondered what the hell she was doing...now I know.

The Weekend...priceless

I was going to try to come up with some witty schtick about this is that much, that is that much, spending times with paint fumes priceless -type of thing, but I think the paint fumes have stolen all my wit. (Yes, peanut gallery I had wit before).

Dudley was good on Friday. I wasn't able to stick around for nearly as long as normal. The gal pals I was with wanted to leave early and I didn't want to hang by myself. But they did put on one heck of a good first set this time. And I was right by the stage, winking shamelessly at Paul. Though I was getting SEVERAL mean looks from the "other" groupies in the front row. I doubt I'm any kind of threat to any of them, but their glares sure made me feel like I was a threat. This Dudley trip I was standing right by the keyboardist, Korby Sears, and marveled at his ability to sing, bounce around, AND play the keyboard. Did I ever tell you I gave up on piano and such when I was younger because I couldn't convince my hands to do two different things at the same time? AND don't even ask me to rub my stomach and pat my head. And since I'm admitting to my "faults", I can't wink both eyes separately either. There. I said it. I'm a freak.

Saturday I was up early painting away. Saturday night, Shannon stuck around to help me move my furniture back into place. Yesterday I actually made the place look less chaotic and more clean. Which was a stretch considering how out of sorts the entire place was for painting.

Its beautiful though. I love it. Its like I feel all grown up now. Finally. It only took 37 years.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Oh. My. God.

Okay, I know I'm out of shape...(unless you count round as a shape). And I know that if I ever over work myself doing something physical, I'll likely be a bit sore. BUT....I am so sore today. Everything is sore...my arms, my legs, my back, even my eyelashes are sore.

Why? You wonder. I'd love to say it was from a night with Dudley's lead singer...but alas...its from painting my room and living room. While I had help (Thanks go out to Shannon - who's probably sore today. And Sherrie for her taping finess). But its beautiful.

Shannon talked me into a beautiful sage green for the living room. If I can find my camera I'll take a photo. The bedroom is my little sea scape. Its a turquoise blue. So beautiful. I love color. I love the homey feeling it gives. In fact, as Shannon said last night...it feels very grown up. And Pookie loves it too...he managed to stay black and not brush against any wet wall.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Cinco de Mayo

This was a joke sent to me today by friend Jackie.

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England.In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico.

But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and
were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss.Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.

This National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.


But in other news, doing Dudley tonight. Well not literally, I wish. They are doing their Cinco de Mayo party downtown...can't wait. Its been a super long week, and I'm in need of some Dudley.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Its official...I'm in love

No I don't have a fickle heart. I just seem to fall in love with "personalities" fairly easily. And by "personalities" I mean the type of men that are soooo far out of my league and/or well -um - famous.

So everyone knows I "love" the lead singer of Dudley Manlove. What's not to love? He's charming. He's hot (at least to me). He can sing. He's charming - oh wait I already said that. The trick is I don't actually "know" him. I know his "personality". I'm sure if I actually got to know him that he'd probably be an ass and so would ruin any opportunity at further fantasies...so forget it. I like him in my fantasies just as he is. And we won't get into those because my mother reads this blog. Though one dream I had of him (not to be confused with a fantasy) he was ironing my graduation gown...I have no idea what that was about.)

Anyhow, I digress. Now I am in love with a new personality. Angel! Yes Angel. As in, I am a Vampire with a soul Angel. I mean, come on, what's not to love? He's hot. He kicks demon ass. He's caring. He's empathetic toward your plight. He will live forever as he is, which means he won't grow old. There is the one small problem he has with being a Vampire and having a soul and not being able to be intimate with anyone. But I can look past that. Yes, He'll do.
 
So you're asking yourself what sort of random nonsense is this, aren't you? Well, nothing should surprise you about my blogs these days. But if you must know. I started watching the series via Netflix. I started last night with disc one. I was only going to watch one episode, but I was hooked. It isn't exactly thought provoking TV - but what is? It amused and entertained me enough that I fell in love with Angel.
 
Oh and did I mention I think he's hot? Could you imagine waking up next to that your entire life?
 
 
oh man...did it just get hot in here?
 
In other news, I have decided to paint my room and my living room. The jury was out for awhile as to whether I should or not. I've received a lot of "input" from friends about the subject and of course their "opinion" on the colors. All of that ignored, I have decided to paint. Of course, when I decide I want to do something, I want to do it NOW (the curse of being a Capricorn). I found the right paint for the bedroom. Headed to Lowe's. X # of dollars later, I'm at home, taping my room and trimming it all within a 2 hour timeframe. I don't remember painting being so therapeutic when I was younger. Anyhow, this weekend I'll paint the walls and then start on the living room. I hate white walls. They remind me of a padded cell - which some may say I belong in. Interestingly enough, all my "so called" friends have other plans and can't assist in my painting endeavor. Which of course means if it turns out like crap I can't blame anyone (also a Capricorn trait).
 
Oh Angel...if only he were here to help me. Though admittedly if he did happen to be in my apartment, I'm quite sure we wouldn't be painting. Or maybe we would...he could reach the tall parts of the wall...hmmmm?

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Viva Mexico! O America!

Okay, I can't stand it. I've remained somewhat silent on this immigration issue in my blog. I don't like to be political or really "voice" my opinion. I have been walking the fence on how I feel about it. But there are a few things I know to be true to me.

Disclaimer: I respect your right to not agree with me. So please respect my right to have an opinion.

Granting amnesty to the millions of illegal immigrants would be wrong. The bottom line is still painfully obvious: those people who lack legal documentation to be in the U.S. should not be accorded any kind of official status. Period. The U.S. is still very open to immigration, but only when it's done the proper way.Crossing the border illegally and taking up residency, then attempting to demand official status ipso facto while simultaneously deriding everyone already legally here as being somehow less deserving of their existing legality, based purely on race, is just flat-out wrong.

It would be an enormous slap in the face to the immigrants who came to this country and did so legally, then petitioned to be citizens. What I can't for the life of me understand is WHY are these "illegal" immigrants not trying to become citizens legally? What's blocking them?

And since when do we allow lawbreakers to demand that we rescind the laws they don't like? And since when do foreign nationals get to make American laws? Spare us the sob stories! They're only minor distractions from the real issue, which is our national sovereignty. Amnesty is NEVER an option. Any psychologist will tell you that rewarding bad behavior only causes it to reoccur.

It would be nice to see some immigrants acknowledging that the American public in general feels differently about "legal" immigrants than it does about illegal immigrants. I was lucky enough to be born here and don't begrudge anyone the opportunity to try to live the American dream - but part of that is meeting your legal obligations. Like applying for a Visa, and paying taxes, and not stealing an existing American's identity so you can get a better-paying job, or utilities, or credit, or residency.

What other country in the world could you...1) enter ILLEGALLY, 2) march down the street waving your native flag (an American Flag), and 3) demand social services and rights?

I saw an interesting poll yesterday in the news. 57% of American's polled think the "marches" yesterday were counter productive to what these immigrants are trying to say.

Monday, May 01, 2006

My Coffee Colored World

Its no secret. I'm a coffee girl. I love the stuff. I drink at least one Americano a day...and depending on the day, that may increase to two. Today, though I met my limit. I've purchased FOUR coffee. Yes. You read that correctly. Four!

I stopped at my favorite Tully's - you know the one, the one I got locked out of my car and the girls inside are now like family to me - yah that one. I ordered, well actually I didn't order they know me now and just made my drink. Scary. Picking up the coffee, I turned to put some cream and sugar into my coffee, and my hand just magically opened. I know you've done that. Where you're not sure what your brain is telling your hand, but your hand interprets it as "release". So, 16 ounces of goodness hit the floor. Its amazing how much real estate 16 ounces of fluid can cover...If I were a math person I could do the math and tell you, but I'll be the marketing person and say, "ITs a LOT!"

Tully's offered to give me a new one. I felt bad for being stupid and dropping it so I "tipped" the girls for the second. Now out $5 I head to my car.

All seemed right. All seemed well. Until....

I get out of my car at work, and realize the seam of the coffee cup isn't exactly holding closed. There appears to be a leak in the dam - any movement could mean disaster. Precariously holding the seam together, I ponder whether I can make the two doors requiring I badge myself through, an elevator, and about 50 yards to make it to the kitchen. I tried, in vain, I realized by the time I reached the first door that it just wasn't going to hold. As I was tossing it in the garbage it burst. Coffee everywhere!

Now here's an interesting fact, and truly one to mark the history books with. I have yet to actually wear any of this coffee mess on me. That's right. I'm not wearing any of them...yet. And I'm wearing white.

So now that I'm Coffee-less in Seattle, I decide to just swing by the coffee stand in the cafe here. The barista says, "I'm sorry, but we don't have any lids." Are you kidding me? I must have a lid. Ugh.

Carefully carrying the THIRD coffee up stairs, I think to myself, I could never be a waitress. I'd never get the drinks to the tables without spilling. Watching my every step, and watching the hot coffee ebb and flow in the cup. But all is good. I'm not wearing it. I'm not spilling it...all is good.

I make it to my office, put the coffee down behind my purse. Yah. You see it coming don't you? My purse...the same purse I purchased SPECIFICALLY because it stands up and doesn't flop over. Yah well, it flopped. And completely knocked my un-lidded coffee all over the place. Ugh.

I sat and pondered whether I should go down for another coffee. Laughing despite myself, I decided I'm determined to have a cup of coffee this morning. If it means I need to stay put in the cafeteria to have it. So be it. I gathered another $2.50 and sauntered down, the barista laughed out loud at me...of course...She put my new coffee in a bigger cup hoping to ward off all the evil spirits...

I'm proud to say I'm three quarters done with this cup - so I think I'm good.

As for my weekend, I'd love to tell you stories of excitement and adventure, but my adventures were of the movie kind. Watched 5 movies this weekend and did almost nothing. I did make an EXCELLENT dinner for myself on Friday. I didn't have the recipe, and couldn't print it off because of the dumb virus on my computer, but thought I was a talented enough cook to pull it off. And so, I made Spaghetti & Meatball Stoup. You gotta love Rachel Ray. She's my hero. I've had Spaghetti&Meatball Stoup for three days running now. Burp!

The movie list for the weekend.
Memoirs of a Gesha - LOVED IT
The Smartest Man in the Room - The Enron story...excellent documentary. Royally pissed me off ... but a good story
When Harry Met Sally - Classic stand by for me and my need to watch movies
Little Mermaid - Had to sing a bit
And finally, Pirates of the Caribean - got sucked into another Johnny Depp movie, the 5th Gate or something like that, and felt the need for a little Johnny.